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Barney really sucks.
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mtrose...@gmail.com
Jan 10, 2018, 5:55:15 PM1/10/18
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Here is an example of a Barney episode summary, straight from the Barney Wiki (whatever that is, must be new.) In paranthesis are my offerings on the whole caboodle.
Barney & Friends are in the mood for an adventure, and they have one, when they all help Baby Bop learn more about neighborhoods! (Honestly, they don't want to learn about my hood. At all.) From talking about crossing streets safely (heh!) and Barney showing his "neighborhood" (I'm sure that's where all the pedophiles live. Bill Clinton, Paul Reubens, uh... that recent Anthony Weiner guy... Harvey Weinstein, whoever he is...?) to making pretend neighborhood stops ("Pretend?" Can't they, say, make a stop at New Jersey? Or will they just end up going the wrong turn at Alberqueque? Have they tried Hare Krishna?) at the Grocery Store (I've heard many things about going to the store. Such as a CG mannequin waving his body around like rubber and flopping down the street.), the Post Office (Be sure to mail Barney & Friends at 1000 Pennsylvania Ave, DC. I'M WAITING ON THAT LETTER, PBS! (laughs like Knuckles)), the Library (oh, have you heard about that new book? It's called "100 Uses for a Dead Purple Dinosaur) and Derek's Restaurant (where Derek's fake mustache as part of his chef outfit causes sneezing fits that ruins a spaghetti-and-meatball meal.) (First thing, who let a kid own his own restaurant? Isn't that illegal? Second of all, someone needs to call the Health Department about that. I sure do hope he doesn't make the food himself, and actually HIRED people who can make a spaghetti-and-meatball meal and don't wear kitschy costumes that trigger their allergies, causing: a. them to be reported to the HD, and b. a massive biological attack across this so-called "neighborhood.") With a little imagination, exploring your neighborhood can be an adventure in itself. (Harlem + my messed-up five-year-old mind = CHAOS back in the summer of 94. Thanks, Sega! But as an adult in Setagaya, I'll just take note from Millenium Kitchen this time.)
Hope ya enjoyed my MySTing of how an episode of the Lavender Lard goes down. I promise I'm never watching the actual episode. Hell, already I forget its' name.
Barney & Friends are in the mood for an adventure, and they have one, when they all help Baby Bop learn more about neighborhoods! (Honestly, they don't want to learn about my hood. At all.) From talking about crossing streets safely (heh!) and Barney showing his "neighborhood" (I'm sure that's where all the pedophiles live. Bill Clinton, Paul Reubens, uh... that recent Anthony Weiner guy... Harvey Weinstein, whoever he is...?) to making pretend neighborhood stops ("Pretend?" Can't they, say, make a stop at New Jersey? Or will they just end up going the wrong turn at Alberqueque? Have they tried Hare Krishna?) at the Grocery Store (I've heard many things about going to the store. Such as a CG mannequin waving his body around like rubber and flopping down the street.), the Post Office (Be sure to mail Barney & Friends at 1000 Pennsylvania Ave, DC. I'M WAITING ON THAT LETTER, PBS! (laughs like Knuckles)), the Library (oh, have you heard about that new book? It's called "100 Uses for a Dead Purple Dinosaur) and Derek's Restaurant (where Derek's fake mustache as part of his chef outfit causes sneezing fits that ruins a spaghetti-and-meatball meal.) (First thing, who let a kid own his own restaurant? Isn't that illegal? Second of all, someone needs to call the Health Department about that. I sure do hope he doesn't make the food himself, and actually HIRED people who can make a spaghetti-and-meatball meal and don't wear kitschy costumes that trigger their allergies, causing: a. them to be reported to the HD, and b. a massive biological attack across this so-called "neighborhood.") With a little imagination, exploring your neighborhood can be an adventure in itself. (Harlem + my messed-up five-year-old mind = CHAOS back in the summer of 94. Thanks, Sega! But as an adult in Setagaya, I'll just take note from Millenium Kitchen this time.)
Hope ya enjoyed my MySTing of how an episode of the Lavender Lard goes down. I promise I'm never watching the actual episode. Hell, already I forget its' name.
blinking...@gmail.com
Mar 24, 2019, 5:38:09 PM3/24/19
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Barney takes kids to explore the neighborhood! They get to meet the $5 strung out crack whore who works the corner, and her pimp that always beats her up! They get to look at all of the gang graffiti, and even meet the people behind this 'art'! After they've all been robbed, with 2 rushed to the hospital after the 'artists' busted a cap in their ass because they felt dis'ed, they go to the neighborhood grocery store which is a front for EBT fraud and human traffiking, they get to eat nice treats which expired in 2016!
blinking...@gmail.com
Mar 24, 2019, 5:40:07 PM3/24/19
to
Barney takes kids to explore the neighborhood! They get to meet the $5 strung out crack whore who works the corner, and her pimp that always beats her up! They get to look at all of the gang graffiti, and even meet the people behind this 'art'! After they've all been robbed, with 2 rushed to the hospital after the 'artists' busted a cap in their ass because they felt dis'ed, they go to the neighborhood grocery store which is a front for EBT fraud and human traffiking. There, they get to eat nice treats which expired in 2016, as they are being eyed and recorded as prospective victims.
Lord Gyromatic
Mar 25, 2019, 3:39:41 PM3/25/19
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On Sunday, March 24, 2019 at 5:40:07 PM UTC-4, blinking...@gmail.com wrote:
> Barney takes kids to explore the neighborhood! They get to meet the $5 strung out crack whore who works the corner, and her pimp that always beats her up! They get to look at all of the gang graffiti, and even meet the people behind this 'art'! After they've all been robbed, with 2 rushed to the hospital after the 'artists' busted a cap in their ass because they felt dis'ed, they go to the neighborhood grocery store which is a front for EBT fraud and human traffiking. There, they get to eat nice treats which expired in 2016, as they are being eyed and recorded as prospective victims.
That is amazing and I swear to God straight out of the 90s. A renaissance is happening.
> Barney takes kids to explore the neighborhood! They get to meet the $5 strung out crack whore who works the corner, and her pimp that always beats her up! They get to look at all of the gang graffiti, and even meet the people behind this 'art'! After they've all been robbed, with 2 rushed to the hospital after the 'artists' busted a cap in their ass because they felt dis'ed, they go to the neighborhood grocery store which is a front for EBT fraud and human traffiking. There, they get to eat nice treats which expired in 2016, as they are being eyed and recorded as prospective victims.
Lord Gyromatic
Apr 6, 2019, 8:49:43 PM4/6/19
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On Sunday, March 24, 2019 at 5:40:07 PM UTC-4, blinking...@gmail.com wrote:
> as they are being eyed and recorded as prospective victims.
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