Jihad Codes[tm] v3.13 (6/29/98)
Jazza
BARNEY IS A BIG FAT FUCK WHO TAKES IT UP THE ARSE FROM ELLEN D.
In article <3597CEF7...@salsgiver.com>,
eat.my...@you.spamming.mother.fuckers wrote:
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> Submitted for your approval...
>
>
> Lt. Joe Schneider (Puppeteer)
> Jihad Code[tm] Keeper
> TRES Corps: Omicron Squadron
> The Jihad to Destroy Barney the Purple Dinosaur[tm]
> [http://jumbo.sandwich.net]
> -----
>
> Jihad Codes v3.13 [http://jumbo.sandwich.net/jihad/codes313.txt]
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> B---- SPG---- F++++ R&D++ ND TIJ+ ODD+++ MAG+++++ PSI
> IRC++++ JW++++ AB4D++++ WWW+
> MST++ TV++ RPG++ GF++++ GG++ GM++++ GMO++++ GB++++ VECH++ VECH-M
>
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> Version 3.13 of the Jihad Codes[tm].
>
> ----
> Version 1.0+ by Calculus, VRDET(ret.)
> Version 2.0+ by [unknown] (If anyone has this information lemme know!)
> Version 3.0+ by Sir Timothy Geier VR-3, VRDET(ret.) (Thanks Tim!)
> Version 3.1+ by Lieutenant Joe Schneider (Puppeteer) Omicron Squad, TRES Corps
> ----
>
> Revision History
>
> 3.0+ First released 11/18/96. Maintained and created by Sir Timothy
> Geier, VRDET(ret.).
>
> 3.10 First released 5/20/98. Revised to reflect new Code
Keeper. Added
> to SPG entry. Modified ABD4 to AB4D to reflect current
convention.
>
> 3.11 Released 5/22/98. Cut revision history. Modified ODD. Modified
> AB4D to reflect developments with CGIab4d and massive spam
in Uab4d.
> Added WWW entry. Modified IRC. Modified VECH for those of us w/
> bikes. %) Added broadcast entertainment (TV) entry.
>
> 3.12 Released 5/25/98. Added to MAG (thanks to Mel Davies). Modified
> AB4D.
>
> 3.13 Released 6/29/98. Added to Version History. Added recommended
> display options. Modified ODD (Thanks to Maruchan). Modified MAG
> (Thanks to Maruchan). Modified JW (ditto).
>
> ----
>
> Recommended Displaying
>
>
> If you're unfamiliar with the concept of "signature codes", I believe
the concept
> was originated with the Geek Codes. Basically, it's a way to declare your
> acclination or whatever towards something or other. The best place to
plop the
> little buggers is at the end of your signature in Usenet or e-mails or
whatever.
>
> It'd be kinda cool if we could have a standard format or such, hence the
> recommendations here. I have the standard self-flogging one, which refers to
> the Codes[tm] on my website, the a'la PGP version, and for all the
low-bandwidth
> Jihaddi the plain-as-all-hell version. ;)
>
> Obviously, you're not required to use this format, but it is encouraged. :)
>
> BTW, where the X.XX's are in the following templates is where the Codes[tm]
> version will go. This is totally for me, so I don't have to remember not to
> forget to change these in every revision that I change the ver. numbers.
>
>
> 1:
>
> Jihad Codes[tm] vX.XX [http://jumbo.sandwich.net/jihad/codesXXX.txt]
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
> {Codes[tm] row 1}
> {Codes[tm] row 2}
> {Codes[tm] row 3}
>
> 2:
>
> BEGIN JIHAD CODE BLOCK vX.XX
> --------------------------------------------------------------
> {Codes[tm] row 1}
> {Codes[tm] row 2}
> {Codes[tm] row 3}
> --------------------------------------------------------------
> END JIHAD CODE vX.XX
>
> 3:
>
> Jihad Codes vX.XX
> {Codes[tm] row 1}
> {Codes[tm] row 2}
> {Codes[tm] row 3}
>
>
> ----
>
>
> The codes will be posted every Monday to alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die,
> alt.tv.barney, alt.tv.dinosaur.barney.die.die.die, and alt.tv.the-jihad,
whether
> or not it is a new version. The Codes can also be obtained at:
>
> http://jumbo.sandwich.net/jihad/codes313.txt
>
>
> If anyone has suggestions as to additions, revisions, or anything else
re:codes,
> e-mail me at:
>
> pup...@salsgiver.com.
>
>
> 1st row : Beliefs & Attr. Beliefs about B'harnie and your attributes.
> 2nd row : Network Habits Use of #tjab, use of JihadWeb[tm], etc.
> 3rd row : Preferences What types of music, food, etc. are preferred.
> 4th row : Misc Anything that doesn't fit in the above
categories.
>
>
> The codes are ordered by the (x,y) that is beside the code, x is the
row, y is
> the place in that row.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> Feelings about B'harnie. (1,1)
>
> B+++++ I am the Purple Demon.
> B++++ I am the biggest fan of B'harnie in the world. I am totally
spongified
> beyond any hope of despongification. Kill me on sight.
> B+++ I am a big fan of B'harnie, but there is still a slight iota of
hope for
> me. Kill me anyway.
> B++ I think B'harnie's all right, but I'm not a fan or anything.
> B+ I think it's ok kids' entertainment.
> B I don't care.
> B- He's a little annoying, and I don't want my kids watching him.
> B-- He really pisses me off. I post to ab4d saying "Kill B'harnie."
> B--- He turns my stomach. I want to hurt that beast very, very badly.
> B---- B'HARNIE MUST DIE! ALL ELSE IS IRRELEVANT!
> B----- I am a Maenad.
> ?B Who or what is B'harnie?
>
>
> What do you do when you see a sponge? (not in real life, of course.)
> (1,2)
>
> SPG+++++ I embrace them as my brothers. I am a fellow sponge.
> SPG++++ They are my best buds. We eat Hellthy Snacks together.
> SPG+++ They're my friends. I won't hurt them!
> SPG++ I look at 'em kinda funny, but they're harmless.
> SPG+ They're just another group of freaks. I leave 'em alone.
> SPG Sponges are irrelevant to me.
> SPG- I give any sponge I see the finger.
> SPG-- I spit at them.
> SPG--- I rough up a bit any sponge I see.
> SPG---- I am a Jihaddi. Enough said.
> SPG----- I am a Maenad. Enough said.
> !SPG I prefer de-spongifying to destruction of sponges.
>
>
> Just how Feral are you? (1,3)
>
> F+++++ I am a Maenad. NYAR!
> F++++ I am a Jihaddi.
> F+++ I am tougher than nails.
> F++ I am a nasty SOB.
> F+ I am sorta tough.
> F I am a typical person when it comes to Ferality.
> F- I am sort of a wuss.
> F-- I am mostly wuss-bait.
> F--- I am a mega-wuss.
> F---- I am too scared to even think about hurting anything.
> F----- I am a sponge minion. Kill me on sight.
> ?F What's feral?
>
>
> How heavily are you involved in R&D? (1,4)
>
> R&D+++++ I head WEDJEE, TRES Corps Zeta Squad, Epsilon Labs, Verthandic
Rangers
> R&D, or another R&D group.
> R&D++++ I do quite a lot of R&D work, and have developed a new weapon,
vehicle,
> etc.
> R&D+++ I do some R&D on the side, it's not my major task.
> R&D++ I'm not too interested in R&D, although I like what they make.
> R&D+ I don't pay too much attention to it.
> R&D Just give me something that kills people, I don't care where
you get it
> from....
> R&D- R&D can bite me.
> R&D-- I think we shouldn't do R&D.
> R&D--- Why should we make something new? Hand me my musket, please.
> R&D---- Uhhhh.....what is this category about?
> R&D----- B'harnie told me that researching and developing new things is
bad, so
> I won't do it.
>
>
> How well you function during the night and during the day... (1,5)
>
> ND+++++ I am CyberPyro.
> ND++++ I am at my best during the day.
> ND+++ I feel better during the day.
> ND++ I sorta feel stronger during the day.
> ND+ I don't feel that bad at night.
> ND I am not affected by the night or day.
> ND- I feel a little better at night.
> ND-- I prefer the night.
> ND--- I have been acquainted with the night.
> ND---- I am very strong in the evening hours.
> ND----- I am Samhain.
> !ND I have different powers during the night and day, so it doesn't
matter.
>
>
> How long have you been in the Jihad? (not including inactivity.) (1,6)
>
> TIJ+++++ I am Lord Tilden Owsen.
> TIJ++++ More than 3 years.
> TIJ+++ Between 2 and 3 years.
> TIJ++ Between 1 and 2 years.
> TIJ+ Between 6-12 months.
> TIJ About 2-6 months
> TIJ- I just joined. I'm a greenhorn.
> TIJ-- Why would I join? What's wrong with B'harnii?
> TIJ--- Go away. People who join the Jihad really really scare me.
> TIJ---- How could I oppose my bestest friend in the world?
> TIJ----- B'harnii told me not to join, so I won't.
> ?TIJ What's the Jihad?
>
>
> How odd are you? (or you could use weird, strange, etc.) (1,7)
>
> ODD+++++ I make Keebler look normal. (NOTE: This one is impossible)
> ODD++++ I... am... a FREAK!!!!
> ODD+++ I don't know. I'd ask someone else, but most people run away
> when they see me coming.
> ODD++ I do have a few "quirks", yeah.
> ODD+ I'm just what most people are in terms of weirdness.
> ODD I don't care about how odd I am.
> ODD- I try not to be weird. It ruins your social life.
> ODD-- I am slightly normal.
> ODD--- I do what everyone else is doing.
> ODD---- When b'harnie says, "Jump," I say, "How high?"
> ODD----- We follow the crowd utterly. I say "we" instead of "I". We think we
> should all be alike.
>
>
> What are your magic abilities? (1,8)
>
> MAG+++++ You name it, I can do it. I have very versatile magic powers.
> MAG++++ I can do many things with my mind. I have the power.
> MAG+++ I have some power, it's nothing great, but it's nothing bad.
> MAG++ I don't have that much power, but it serves me well.
> MAG+ I have very little magic ability.
> MAG I'm just a man. My magic is in my sword.
> MAG- I don't believe in magic.
> MAG-- Are you talking about Magic: The Gathering or something?
> MAG--- I think it is wrong to have magic powers.
> MAG---- I could use it if I could only pronounce it....
> MAG----- B'harnie told me that only he should do magic, so I have none.
> ?MAG What's magic?
> !MAG My immunity/negation of magic depends on the proximity of
the
> spell/ability/user.
> MAG^100 I have so many powers I am an utter munchkin.
> @MAG Nyah-nyah... not telling!
>
>
> What are your PSI abilities? (1,9)
>
> PSI+++++ Beyond your comprehension.
> PSI++++ Quite profound.
> PSI+++ Very impressive.
> PSI++ Above average.
> PSI+ I'm developing them....
> PSI I have none. My abilities are in my weapons.
> PSI- I wish I could do it, but thus far, no sucess...
> PSI-- You PSI people freak me out.....
> PSI--- I've never really liked PSI, I feel it to be a dishonorable way
of
> fighting.
> PSI---- You are morally wrong for having these powers!
> PSI----- B'harnie told me not to use PSI, so I won't use it.
> ?PSI What's PSI?
> !PSI I'm not telling....
>
>
> How much do you frequent #tjab? (2,1)
>
> IRC+++++ #tjab is my reality. I just escape to Real Life every once in
a while.
> IRC++++ I'm on there whenever I can, although I'll devote some time to
real
> life.
> IRC+++ I spend a few hours on #tjab a day.
> IRC++ I spend an hour or so on there a day.
> IRC+ I drop in from time to time.
> IRC I hardly ever visit.
> IRC- I never visit.
> IRC-- I can't take it! That channel freaks me out!
> IRC--- An IRC channel against B'harnie? *shudder*
> IRC---- I wish I could take it over so I could kick you all off.
> IRC----- I am Lizzete.
> !IRC I don't have access to IRC and/or have never used it.
>
>
> How often do you use JihadWeb[tm]? (2,2)
>
> JW+++++ I am the Webmaster at JihadWeb[tm].
> JW++++# I am part of the group working on JihadWeb[tm], but I don't own
the
> pages themselves.
> JW++++ It's my default page.
> JW+++ I have a link to it on one of my web pages.
> JW++ I have it bookmarked.
> JW+ I visit it from time to time.
> JW I visit it when I can.
> JW- I hardly ever visit it.
> JW-- Yeah, I go there to spam up the guestbook.
> JW--- It gave me nightmares! Take it away!
> JW---- I want to ban JihadWeb[tm], it's so horrifying.
> JW----- B'harnie told me never to go there, so I won't.
> !JW I don't have access to the WWW.
>
>
> How often do you visit the ng’s of the Jihad?
[alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die],
> (either the CGI derivation on JihadWeb[tm], or Usenet) (2,3)
>
> AB4D+++++ I practically live on CGIab4d and/or USENETab4d.
> AB4D++++ I post on both quite often.
> AB4D+++ I post on USENETab4d and/or CGIab4d regularly.
> AB4D++ I post on CGIab4d every once in a while.
> AB4D+ I try to wade through the spam on USENETab4d frequently.
> AB4D I read USENETab4d and/or CGIab4d every once in a while.
> AB4D- I post there hardly ever.
> AB4D-- I just post anti-B'harnie spam on USENETab4d.
> AB4D--- I post make.money.fast shit on USENETab4d.
> AB4D---- I post "B'harnie rules" spam.
> AB4D----- I am an utter sponge, I flame Jihaddi and I am most
likely
> Indexed[tm].
> !AB4D I don't have access to U or CGIab4d.
>
>
> How extensive is your Anti-B’harnie webpage? (2,4)
>
> WWW+++++ If my ISP goes down, cries are heard ‘round the world.
> WWW++++ I have original anti-B’harnie content, graphics, CGI and Java
applets.
> WWW+++ My page is totally original content and my own graphics.
> WWW++ My Anti-B’harnie page has a few original pieces and various links.
> WWW+ I have a separate Anti-B’harnie links page.
> WWW I have "Kill Barney Now" linked to JihadWeb[tm] on my homepage.
> WWW- I’m not going to waste my time and webspace on a stupid Barney page.
> WWW-- How can you hate Barney? And why would you make a page against him?
> WWW--- Barney says HTML is evil.
> WWW---- I have a pro-Barney page! Worship the dark lord!
> WWW----- I am webmaster of BarneyOnline.
> !WWW I don’t have access to the WWW.
> ?WWW Webpage? Huh?
>
>
> How you feel about the show Mystery Science Theater 3000.. (3,1)
>
> MST+++++ One word:HIKEEBA!
> MST++++ I have many episodes on tape, lots of MST3K merchandise, can
sing most
> of the songs, have the episode guide, and have gone to at least
one
> Conventio-con.
> MST+++ I have quite a few episodes on tape, and some MST3K merchandise, but
> I've never been to a Conventio-Con.
> MST++ I have a few taped episodes and an MST3K t-shirt.
> MST+ I've seen an episode and I liked it.
> MST I've seen an episode and thought it was all right
> MST- I've seen an episode and didn't really like it.
> MST-- I heard it was bad, so I don't watch it.
> MST--- A show that makes fun of bad movies? How horrifying!
> MST---- I hate it because B'harnie told me to hate it.
> MST----- I hate it. I am utterly sponged.
> ?MST What's MST3K?
> !MST I would love to watch MST, but I sadly don't have cable.
>
>
> What TV(broadcast) shows (if any) do you enjoy watching? (3,2)
>
> TV+++++ TV rots your brain. Read a book!
> TV++++ The only time my TV is turned on is 10:00 on Wednesday night.
> TV+++ We watch the Sci-fi Channel. You will be assimilated.
> TV++ I watch the Discovery and History Channels. There are other
stations?
> TV+ I flip around, and will definitely skip MTV, main networks, and TGIF.
> TV I watch most everything.
> TV- I watch every show at prime time... especially Friends!
> TV-- Brenda, Brandon, and Dylan... I love you!
> TV--- I love the Fox network!
> TV---- I enjoy watching inane childrens’ shows with purple dinosaurs.
> TV----- I have a satellite dish so I can pick up B’harnie shows every hour of
> The day.
> TV-S Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
>
>
> How much you engage in Jihad Role-Playing? (3,3)
>
> RPG+++++ I've written quite a few original stories, as well as
participated in
> several ops...
> RPG++++ I've written for quite a few ops.
> RPG+++ I've written for all the ops I could since I joined.
> RPG++ I've written for one or two ops.
> RPG+ I've hardly ever written for an op.
> RPG I've never engaged in Jihad Role-Playing.
> RPG- I don't quite like JRP.
> RPG-- I am against JRP.
> RPG--- Writing stories that are against B'harnie? How awful!
> RPG---- You Jihaddi are freaks.
> RPG----- B'harnie says I shouldn't write anything original.
> ?RPG What's Jihad Role-Playing?
> !RPG I've written several stories, but have not participated in any
ops
> yet.
>
>
> How much Good Food[tm] do you eat a day.... (3,4)
>
> GF+++++ Enough to feed an army.
> GF++++ My veins flow with Good Food[tm]
> GF+++ I eat quite a bit a day.
> GF++ I eat enough Good Food[tm] to fill me up.
> GF+ I eat Good Food [tm] about once a day.
> GF I eat Good Food [tm] about once a week.
> GF- I hardly ever eat Good Food [tm]
> GF-- I eat mostly hellth food.
> GF--- I eat mostly Hellthy Snacks.
> GF---- I eat only Hellthy Snacks.
> GF----- B'harnie says eat Hellthy Snacks, so I do.
>
>
> How often are you playing Good Games[tm]? (3,5)
>
> GG+++++ I've _written_ a Good Game[tm].
> GG++++ Almost always.
> GG+++ Most of the time.
> GG++ Some of the time.
> GG+ On occasion.
> GG Sometimes.
> GG- Hardly ever.
> GG-- Rarely.
> GG--- I run away when I see the violence and carnage in Good Games[tm]!
> GG---- I want to ban all Good Games[tm]....
> GG----- B'harnie doesn't want me playing games like that, so I don't ever.
>
>
> How often are you listening to Good Music[tm]? (3,6)
>
> GM+++++ I listen to it so much, I can hear it even when I turn it off.
> GM++++ I listen to it as much as possible.
> GM+++ I listen to it most of the time.
> GM++ I listen to it some of the time.
> GM+ I listen to it from time to time.
> GM I hardly ever listen to it.
> GM- I rarely listen to it.
> GM-- That kind of music scares me.
> GM--- I can't tolerate Good Music[tm].
> GM---- I only listen to wuss music.
> GM----- B'harnie told me not to listen to that kind of music, so I don't.
>
>
> How many Good Movies[tm] have you seen? (3,7)
>
> GMO+++++ I've seen them all repeatedly.
> GMO++++ I've seen them all once or twice.
> GMO+++ I've seen most of them.
> GMO++ I've seen some of them.
> GMO+ I've seen a few of them.
> GMO I don't usually watch movies.
> GMO- I've seen a Good Movie[tm] once, and I only thought it was all right.
> GMO-- I've seen one Good Movie[tm], and I thought it sucked.
> GMO--- I've never seen a Good Movie[tm], because they scare me!
> GMO---- My idea of a good movie is Manos or the B'harnie Christmas Special.
> GMO----- B'harnie tells me not to watch those kinds of movies, so I don't.
>
>
> What kind of fiction do you read? (use the highest on the list) (3,8)
>
> GB+++++ H.P. Lovecraft, Larry Niven, or similar "hard" fiction.
> GB++++ Douglas Adams or similar "hard but funny" fiction.
> GB+++ David Eddings or similar "milder" fiction.
> GB++ Popular fiction (Grisham, Clancy, Crichton, etc.)
> GB+ Typical, unremarkable fiction.
> GB Romance novels.
> GB- Soap opera novels.
> GB-- Tabloids.
> GB--- Sight and Sound books.
> GB---- Dick and Jane Go Play.
> GB----- Anything by b'harnii.
> !GB I don't read fiction.
>
>
> What type of vehicle do you drive? (3,9)
>
> VECH+++++ I am Samhain. Enough said.
> VECH++++ I drive a customized vehicle that hauls ass.
> VECH+++ I have a TARAV in my garage.
> VECH++ I have a normal car that has been heavily modified by WEDJEE.
> VECH+ I have a normal car that has been somewhat modified by WEDJEE.
> VECH I drive a typical car, no modifications.
> VECH- I have a car that gets me from A to B, but that's it.
> VECH-- Driving scares me.
> VECH--- I'm too dumb to operate a vehicle.
> VECH---- I just take myself anyplace with the power of imigination...
> VECH----- B'harnie tells me not to own a vehicle, so I don't.
> !VECH I don't have a vehicle.
> !!VECH Vehicle? Who needs a stinkin' vehicle?
> !!!VECH I have a vehicle, when it runs.
> VECH-A I fly an aircraft.
> VECH-H I have a Harley Davidson. (In a class of their own.)
> VECH-M I have a motorcycle.
> VECH-S I use a seacraft.
> VECH-SP I fly a spacecraft.
>
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>
>
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