Jihad Codes V. 3013

[Tom Erik Sværen]

Timothy Geier <sir...@jpj.net.try.and.spam.me.now.arschfickers> skrev i
artikkelen <647r3m$si0$1...@news.monad.net>...
> Version 3.013 of the Jihad Codes.
>
> by Company Commander Sir Timothy Geier VR-3, VRDET
> sir...@jpj.net
> http://sirtim.home.ml.org
>
> revision history
>
> 3.00 Added to foreword. Cut beta revision history. Minor
changes
> to some of the entries. Added email addresses and
> authorship.
>
> 3.01 1st public release, 11/18/96. Put entries in proper
order.
> Added to foreword.
>
> 3.02 First released 11/25/96. Added to MST3K entry (thanks to

> Mysterium) Changed email address and added homepage URL.

>
> 3.03 First released 12/2/96. Added to magic entry. (Thanks
> to UpLink). Added Jihad page URL as a place to obtain
Codes.
>
> 3.04 First released 1/13/97. Added to RPG entry. (Thanks to
> Cyohtee). Added to PSI and JW entries. (Thanks to
> Deadlock the Feral) Changed email address and homepage
> URL. (These are hopefully more or less permanent)
>
> 3.05 First released 2/10/97. Changed GG entry. Added to
> VECH entry. (Both thanks to Patrick Stewart)
>
> 3.06 First released 2/17/97. Added to ND entry. (Thanks to
> Aris the Galactic Dragon =) )
>
> 3.07 First released 3/3/97. Created M$ entry. (Thanks to
> Operative Radagast, both for the idea and some of the
> entries)
>
> 3.08 First released 3/3/97. Deleted M$ entry.
>
> 3.09 First released 5/9/97. Changed TIJ entry. (Thanks to
> M Seu)
>
> 3.010 First released 6/2/97. Changed R&D entry (due to JAO
> name change). Added to VECH entry. (both thanks to
> katster)
>
> 3.011 First released 7/28/97. Added to ABD4 entry. (Thanks
> to Star Man of VRDET)
>
> 3.012 First released 10/6/97. (about time for an update ;) )
> Created GB entry. (Thanks to Brynhild of VRDET)
>
> 3.013 First released 10/31/97. Cut foreword.
>
>
> The codes will be posted every Monday to alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die,

> alt.tv.barney, alt.tv.dinosaur.barney.die.die.die, and alt.tv.the-jihad,
> whether or not it is a new version. The Codes can also be
> obtained at http://sirtim.home.ml.org/Jihad/code3013.txt
>
>
> 1st row:Beliefs & Attributes Beliefs about B'harnie and your attributes.
> 2nd row:Network Habits Use of #tjab, use of JihadWeb[tm], etc.
> 3rd row:Preferences What types of music, food, etc. are
preferred.
> 4th row:Misc Anything that doesn't fit in the above
categories.
>
>
> The codes are ordered by the (x,y) that is beside the code, x is
> the row, y is the place in that row.
> My apologies for any inconvience this may cause.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Feelings about B'harnie. (1,1)
>
> B+++++ I am the Purple Demon.
> B++++ I am the biggest fan of B'harnie in the world. I am totally
> spongified beyond any hope of despongification. Kill me on sight.

> B+++ I am a big fan of B'harnie, but there is still a slight
> iota of hope for me. Kill me anyway.
> B++ I think B'harnie's all right, but I'm not a fan or anything.
> B+ I think it's ok kid's entertainment.
> B I don't care.
> B- He's a little annoying, and I don't want my kids watching him.
> B-- He really pisses me off. I post to abd4 saying "Kill B'harnie."
> B--- He turns my stomach. I want to hurt that beast very, very badly.
> B---- B'HARNIE MUST DIE! ALL ELSE IS IRRELEVANT!
> B----- I am a Maenad.
> ?B Who or what is B'harnie?
>
> What do you do when you see a sponge? (not in real life, of course.)
> (1,2)
>
> SPG+++++ I embrace them as my brothers. I am a fellow sponge.
> SPG++++ They are my best buds. We eat Hellthy Snacks together.
> SPG+++ They're my friends. I won't hurt them!
> SPG++ I look at 'em kinda funny, but they're harmless.
> SPG+ They're just another group of freaks. I leave 'em alone.
> SPG Sponges are irrelevant to me.
> SPG- I give any sponge I see the finger.
> SPG-- I spit at them.
> SPG--- I rough up a bit any sponge I see.
> SPG---- I am a Jihaddi. Enough said.
> SPG----- I am a Maenad. Enough said.
>
> Just how Feral are you? (1,3)
>
> F+++++ I am a Maenad. NYAR!
> F++++ I am a Jihaddi.
> F+++ I am tougher than nails.
> F++ I am a nasty SOB.
> F+ I am sorta tough.
> F I am a typical person when it comes to Ferality.
> F- I am sort of a wuss.
> F-- I am mostly wuss-bait.
> F--- I am a mega-wuss.
> F---- I am too scared to even think about hurting anything.
> F----- I am a sponge minion. Kill me on sight.
> ?F What's feral?
>
>
> How heavily are you involved in R&D? (1,4)
>
> R&D+++++ I head WEDJEE, TRES Corps Zeta Squad, Epsilon Labs,
> Verthandic Rangers R&D, or another R&D group.
> R&D++++ I do quite a lot of R&D work, and have developed a new
> weapon, vehicle, etc.
> R&D+++ I do some R&D on the side, it's not my major task.
> R&D++ I'm not too interested in R&D, although I like what they make.
> R&D+ I don't pay too much attention to it.
> R&D Just give me something that kills people, I don't care where
> you get it from....
> R&D- R&D can bite me.
> R&D-- I think we shouldn't do R&D.
> R&D--- Why should we make something new? Hand me my musket, please.
> R&D---- Uhhhh.....what is this category about?
> R&D----- B'harnie told me that researching and developing new things
> is bad, so I won't do it.
>
> How well you function during the night and during the day... (1,5)
>
> ND+++++ I am CyberPyro.
> ND++++ I am at my best during the day.
> ND+++ I feel better during the day.
> ND++ I sorta feel stronger during the day.
> ND+ I don't feel that bad at night.
> ND I am not affected by the night or day.
> ND- I feel a little better at night.
> ND-- I prefer the night.
> ND--- I have been acquainted with the night.
> ND---- I am very strong in the evening hours.
> ND----- I am Samhain.
> !ND I have different powers during the night and day, so it doesn't
> matter.
>
> How long have you been in the Jihad? (not including months of
> inactivity.) (1,6)
>
> TIJ+++++ I am Lord Tilden Owsen.
> TIJ++++ More than 3 years.
> TIJ+++ Between 2 and 3 years.
> TIJ++ Between 1 and 2 years.
> TIJ+ Between 6-12 months.
> TIJ About 2-6 months
> TIJ- I just joined. I'm a greenhorn.
> TIJ-- Why would I join? What's wrong with B'harnii?
> TIJ--- Go away. People who join the Jihad really really scare me.
> TIJ---- How could I oppose my bestest friend in the world?
> TIJ----- B'harnii told me not to join, so I won't.
> ?TIJ What's the Jihad?
>
> How odd are you? (or you could use weird, strange, etc.) (1,7)
>
> ODD+++++ I am so strange, my life was used as an X-Files episode.
> ODD++++ I am known far and wide as the kook of my county.
> ODD+++ I am quite odd.
> ODD++ I am a little weird.
> ODD+ I'm just what most people are in terms of weirdness.
> ODD I don't care about how odd I am.
> ODD- I don't want to be weird.
> ODD-- I am slightly normal.
> ODD--- I do what I'm told, even by the kid down the street.
> ODD---- When b'harnie says, "Jump," I say, "How high?"
> ODD----- We follow the crowd utterly. I say "we" instead of "I". We
> think we should all be alike.
>
> What are your magic abilities? (1,8)
>
> MAG+++++ You name it, I can do it. I have very versatile magic powers.
> MAG++++ I can do many things with my mind. I have the power.
> MAG+++ I have some power, it's nothing great, but it's nothing bad.
> MAG++ I don't have that much power, but it serves me well.
> MAG+ I have very little magic ability.
> MAG I'm just a man. My magic is in my sword.
> MAG- I don't believe in magic.
> MAG-- Are you talking about Magic: The Gathering or something?
> MAG--- I think it is wrong to have magic powers.
> MAG---- I could use it if I could only pronounce it....
> MAG----- B'harnie told me that only he should do magic, so I have none.
> ?MAG What's magic?
> !MAG My immunity/negation of magic depends on the proximity
> of the spell/ability/user.
>
> What are your PSI abilities? (1,9)
>
> PSI+++++ Beyond your comprehension.
> PSI++++ Quite profound.
> PSI+++ Very impressive.
> PSI++ Above average.
> PSI+ I'm developing them....
> PSI I have none. My abilities are in my weapons.
> PSI- I wish I could do it, but thus far, no sucess...
> PSI-- You PSI people freak me out.....
> PSI--- I've never really liked PSI, I feel it to be a dishonorable
> way of fighting.
> PSI---- You are morally wrong for having these powers!
> PSI----- B'harnie told me not to use PSI, so I won't use it.
> ?PSI What's PSI?
> !PSI I'm not telling....
>
>
> How much do you frequent #tjab? (2,1)
>
> IRC+++++ I LIVE #TJAB. I am on that channel every waking moment.
> IRC++++ I'm on there whenever I can, although I'll devote some time
> to real life.
> IRC+++ I spend a few hours on #tjab a day.
> IRC++ I spend an hour or so on there a day.
> IRC+ I drop in from time to time.
> IRC I hardly ever visit.
> IRC- I never visit.
> IRC-- I can't take it! That channel freaks me out!
> IRC--- An IRC channel against B'harnie? *shudder*
> IRC---- I wish I could take it over so I could kick you all off.
> IRC----- I am Lizzete.
> !IRC I don't have access to IRC and/or have never used it.
>
> How often do you use JihadWeb[tm]? (2,2)
>
> JW+++++ I am the Webmaster at JihadWeb[tm].
> JW++++# I am part of the group working on JihadWeb[tm], but I don't own
> the pages themselves.
> JW++++ It's my default page.
> JW+++ I have a link to it on one of my web pages.
> JW++ I have it bookmarked.
> JW+ I visit it from time to time.
> JW I visit it when I can.
> JW- I hardly ever visit it.
> JW-- I've never visited it.
> JW--- It gave me nightmares! Take it away!
> JW---- I want to ban JihadWeb[tm], it's so horrifying.
> JW----- B'harnie told me never to go there, so I won't.
> !JW I don't have access to the WWW.
>
> How often do you frequent the NG of the Jihad,
> alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die? (2,3)
>
> ABD4+++++ I practically live on abd4.
> ABD4++++ I post there quite often.
> ABD4+++ I post there frequently.
> ABD4++ I post there from time to time.
> ABD4+ I post there maybe once a week.
> ABD4 I post there maybe once a month.
> ABD4- I post there hardly ever.
> ABD4-- I just post anti-B'harnie spam.
> ABD4--- I post make.money.fast shit.
> ABD4---- I post "B'harnie rules" spam.
> ABD4----- I am an utter sponge, I flame Jihaddi and I am most likely
> Indexed[tm].
> !ABD4 I don't have access to abd4.
>
>
> How you feel about the show Mystery Science Theater 3000.. (3,1)
>
> MST+++++ One word:HIKEEBA!
> MST++++ I have many episodes on tape, lots of MST3K merchandise,
> can sing most of the songs, have the episode guide, and have gone
> to at least one Conventio-con.
> MST+++ I have quite a few episodes on tape, and some MST3K
> merchandise, but I've never been to a Conventio-Con.
> MST++ I have a few taped episodes and an MST3K t-shirt.
> MST+ I've seen an episode and I liked it.
> MST I've seen an episode and thought it was all right
> MST- I've seen an episode and didn't really like it.
> MST-- I heard it was bad, so I don't watch it.
> MST--- A show that makes fun of bad movies? How horrifying!
> MST---- I hate it because B'harnie told me to hate it.
> MST----- I hate it. I am utterly sponged.
> ?MST What's MST3K?
> !MST I would love to watch MST, but I sadly don't have cable.
>
> How much you engage in Jihad Role-Playing? (3,2)
>
> RPG+++++ I've written quite a few original stories, as well as
participated
> in several ops...
> RPG++++ I've written for quite a few ops.
> RPG+++ I've written for all the ops I could since I joined.
> RPG++ I've written for one or two ops.
> RPG+ I've hardly ever written for an op.
> RPG I've never engaged in Jihad Role-Playing.
> RPG- I don't quite like JRP.
> RPG-- I am against JRP.
> RPG--- Writing stories that are against B'harnie? How awful!
> RPG---- You Jihaddi are freaks.
> RPG----- B'harnie says I shouldn't write anything original.
> ?RPG What's Jihad Role-Playing?
> !RPG I've written several stories, but have not participated in any
> ops yet.
>
> How much Good Food[tm] do you eat a day.... (3,3)
>
> GF+++++ Enough to feed an army.
> GF++++ My veins flow with Good Food[tm]
> GF+++ I eat quite a bit a day.
> GF++ I eat enough Good Food[tm] to fill me up.
> GF+ I eat Good Food [tm] about once a day.
> GF I eat Good Food [tm] about once a week.
> GF- I hardly ever eat Good Food [tm]
> GF-- I eat mostly hellth food.
> GF--- I eat mostly Hellthy Snacks.
> GF---- I eat only Hellthy Snacks.
> GF----- B'harnie says eat Hellthy Snacks, so I do.
>
> How often are you playing Good Games[tm]? (3,4)
>
> GG+++++ I've _written_ a Good Game[tm].
> GG++++ Almost always.
> GG+++ Most of the time.
> GG++ Some of the time.
> GG+ On occasion.
> GG Sometimes.
> GG- Hardly ever.
> GG-- Rarely.
> GG--- I run away when I see the violence and carnage in Good Games[tm]!

> GG---- I want to ban all Good Games[tm]....
> GG----- B'harnie doesn't want me playing games like that, so I don't
ever.
>
> How often are you listening to Good Music[tm]? (3,5)
>
> GM+++++ I listen to it so much, I can hear it even when I turn it off.
> GM++++ I listen to it as much as possible.
> GM+++ I listen to it most of the time.
> GM++ I listen to it some of the time.
> GM+ I listen to it from time to time.
> GM I hardly ever listen to it.
> GM- I rarely listen to it.
> GM-- That kind of music scares me.
> GM--- I can't tolerate Good Music[tm].
> GM---- I only listen to wuss music.
> GM----- B'harnie told me not to listen to that kind of music, so I don't.

>
> How many Good Movies[tm] have you seen? (3,6)
>
> GMO+++++ I've seen them all repeatedly.
> GMO++++ I've seen them all once or twice.
> GMO+++ I've seen most of them.
> GMO++ I've seen some of them.
> GMO+ I've seen a few of them.
> GMO I don't usually watch movies.
> GMO- I've seen a Good Movie[tm] once, and I only thought it was all
> right.
> GMO-- I've seen one Good Movie[tm], and I thought it sucked.
> GMO--- I've never seen a Good Movie[tm], because they scare me!
> GMO---- My idea of a good movie is Manos or the B'harnie Christmas
> Special.
> GMO----- B'harnie tells me not to watch those kinds of movies, so I
don't.
>
> What kind of fiction do you read? (use the highest on the list) (3,7)
>
> GB+++++ H.P. Lovecraft, Larry Niven, or similar "hard" fiction.
> GB++++ Douglas Adams or similar "hard but funny" fiction.
> GB+++ David Eddings or similar "milder" fiction.
> GB++ Popular fiction (Grisham, Clancy, Crichton, etc.)
> GB+ Typical, unremarkable fiction.
> GB Romance novels.
> GB- Soap opera novels.
> GB-- Tabloids.
> GB--- Sight and Sound books.
> GB---- Dick and Jane Go Play.
> GB----- Anything by b'harnii.
> !GB I don't read fiction.
>
> What type of vehicle do you drive? (3,8)
>
> VECH+++++ I am Samhain. Enough said.
> VECH++++ I drive a customized vehicle that hauls ass.
> VECH+++ I have a TARAV in my garage.
> VECH++ I have a normal car that has been heavily modified by WEDJEE.
> VECH+ I have a normal car that has been somewhat modified by WEDJEE.
> VECH I drive a typical American's car, no modifications.
> VECH- I have a car that gets me from A to B, but that's it.
> VECH-- Driving scares me.
> VECH--- I'm too dumb to operate a vehicle.
> VECH---- I just take myself anyplace with the power of imigination...
> VECH----- B'harnie tells me not to own a vehicle, so I don't.
> !VECH I don't have a vehicle.
> !!VECH Vehicle? Who needs a stinkin' vehicle?
> VECH-A I fly an aircraft.
> VECH-S I use a seacraft.
> VECH-SP I fly a spacecraft.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

> ST
>
>
> B---- SPG---- F++++ R&D++ ND TIJ++ ODD+++ MAG PSI
> IRC+++ JW+++ ABD4+++
> MST+++ RPG+++ GF+++ GG+++ GM+++ GMO+++ GB+++++ !VECH
>
> it takes more than a load of bullshit to keep me down
> stay ficken hostile
> JIHAAAAADD!!!
>
>