OT-More Texas humor

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tno...@juno.com

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Oct 8, 2000, 8:30:43 PM10/8/00
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I'm from Iowa and know many of these could (and do) apply there as well!

SMALLTOWN, TX
You Know You're From A Small Town in Texas When.....

"Meeting a celebrity" means standing in line at the Dairy Queen next to
a certain retired football coach.

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a cattle trailer
on the overpass. (Oh yeah!)

You've seen all the biggest country western stars ten years after they
were popular.

Your work or classes are canceled because of snow and missed the next
day because it reaches 98 degrees.

You see people wear tank tops at funerals.

You think of the major food groups as Taco Bell, beer, and cigarettes.

When it rains it's the talk of the town for days.

When it snows it's the talk of the area for weeks.

During the summer, the car trunk doubles as an oven for your groceries.

You measure distance in hours.

The local paper covers local, national, and international headlines on
one page, but requires 2 pages for high school football. The other
three pages are ads and obituaries.

You've had to switch from Heat to A/C in the same day.

You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and hot sauce.

You think that opening weekend for dove and deer seasons are national
holidays.

You find 100 degrees "a little warm," and 60 degrees downright freezing.

You think the only seasons are hot, damn hot, and winter.

"Overachievers" go to A&M or UT. The rest must choose the beauty
school, or Cisco Junior College.

Other than Friday night football, the Youth Rodeo is the major event for
the whole year.

Honeymoon means "San Antonio." (Des Moines)

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Before you buy.

doovinator

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Oct 9, 2000, 12:48:45 AM10/9/00
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Regarding that Texas weather--I'll never forget one late afternoon in
Laredo about this time of year when I was sitting on the patio in shorts
and nothing else at a little gathering, when our host (who was in long
sleeves and long pants along with everyone else there--a couple folks
were even wearing light jackets) announced that he thought it was
getting a little chilly, and maybe it was time to take things inside. I
looked over at the thermometer and it was 77 degrees.

DJ

JETman

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Oct 9, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/9/00
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When were you in Laredo?

JT

nick...@my-deja.com

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Oct 9, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/9/00
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In article <39E1C039...@worldnet.att.net>,
JETman <jeta...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
> When were you in Laredo?
>
> JT
>
ha ha very funny.
It did go from 95 on day to 50 the next. now we are at 45 in the
mornings and 60 at some points in the day.
Nick

doovinator

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Oct 9, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/9/00
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I was in Laredo in September or October of 1978, looking for a place to
sell Christmas trees. Eventually I ended up selling trees in Austin, qn
Airport Blvd. a few blocks north of the freeway. I was the first guy to
bring North Carolina trees to Austin. It was a good business to be in
about 3 weeks out of the year. I went down and sold trees for 5 years
and loved it.

DJ


Jack Breen

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Oct 11, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/11/00
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I thought distances were measured in "beers" ?!

doovinator <do...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:7482-39E...@storefull-612.iap.bryant.webtv.net...

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