EAP: Chimps in zoo go mad after eating an apple

Meteorite Debris

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Aug 1, 2018, 9:27:16 PM8/1/18

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Chimps in zoo go mad after eating an apple

EAP: Melbourne. Staff at the Royal Melbourne Zoological gardens
routinely vary the diet of their resident animals to add interest to
their lives but were taken aback by the reaction of the chimpanzee troop
when it was decided to add apples to their diet.

The strange events started early last month. In with the daily feed were
added apples, a first for this troop but zoo staff were surprised when
the chimps refused to sink their teeth into the then unfamiliar fruit.
The entire troop surround an apple and started to hallow and shout to
it. Eventually one of the more alpha males walked into the circle and
carried the offending fruit to a corner of the chimps' enclosure where
it could be ignored. Zoo chef Len Cooke was somewhat insulted by the
rejection of his cuisine by the chimps. "I have a reputation with quite
a few zoos around the world and without putting too fine a point on it
if I was running a restaurant I would be Michelin accredited. I am the
Heston Blumenthal of the zoological world. My coup de gras signature
creation is the worldwide famous, in zoological circles, marinated
honeyed and spiced scorpions. So to see the chimps just put down my food
offerings in a corner was just something I am not used to."

But it was the events following which really puzzled zoo staff. Head
keeper Kurt Alexander said, "I have just never seen anything like it.
This is really the most bizarre thing. I just wouldn't credit it among
chimps". What Kurt was referring to was the behavior of the chimps when
a snake, escaped from the reptiles enclosure, when it entered the
chimpanzee enclosure. "Now chimps usually have a morbid fear of snakes
and will keep their distance", started Kurt, "and most of the troop did
except for one female who started making friendly chimp sounds towards
it. Members of the public reported that the snaked seemed to mesmerise
her looking her in the eye. There was a sort of communication going on
between the two of them."

The female ironically named Eve went up to the corner and picked up the
forbidden fruit and took out a bite to the shock of the other chimps.
Here the reports are that she made a coy look with her face and
suggestively patting her ample rear rump with one hand while reaching
out with her other hand offering other males a bite of the apple. Pretty
soon all the chimps had eaten of the apple.

This all happened in the morning. However by the afternoon events took a
truly bizarre turn with all the chimps were walking around covering
their groins with their hands. A few were were holding leaves. They had
discovered nakedness and shame. At every chance they hooted at zoo staff
pointing to their clothes. Zoo staff worked out the chimps were
requesting clothes. Zoo staff have now given some of their old clothes
to the chimps and have now started a laundry service for the chimps.

Olrik

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Aug 1, 2018, 11:48:31 PM8/1/18

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Le 2018-08-01 à 21:27, Meteorite Debris a écrit :
>
> Chimps in zoo go mad after eating an apple
>
> EAP: Melbourne. Staff at the Royal Melbourne Zoological gardens
> routinely vary the diet of their resident animals to add interest to
> their lives but were taken aback by the reaction of the chimpanzee troop
> when it was decided to add apples to their diet.
>
> The strange events started early last month. In with the daily feed were
> added apples, a first for this troop but zoo staff were surprised when
> the chimps refused to sink their teeth into the then unfamiliar fruit.
> The entire troop surround an apple and started to hallow and shout to
> it. Eventually one of the more alpha males walked into the circle and
> carried the offending fruit to a corner of the chimps' enclosure where
> it could be ignored. Zoo chef Len Cooke was somewhat insulted by the
> rejection of his cuisine by the chimps. "I have a reputation with quite
> a few zoos around the world and without putting too fine a point on it
> if I was running a restaurant I would be Michelin accredited. I am the
> Heston Blumenthal of the zoological world.

"My coup de gras"

<Rant/>

Every. Single. Time.

Please stick to English is you can't write it correctly and use it in
context, Mr Alexander!

It's not "fat blow" ("coup de gras"), but "coup de grâce", the "fatal
blow".

Same thing with writers trying to cleverly end a demonstration by typing
"Voilà!". 99% of them type "Viola!", which is a verb conjugation about
rape.

</Rant>

--
Olrik
aa #1981
EAC Chief Food Inspector, Bacon Division

Meteorite Debris

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Aug 2, 2018, 12:01:24 AM8/2/18

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In article <pjtuud$j9g$1...@dont-email.me>, olri...@gmail.com says...

WARNING! Spelling Nazi ahead. What do you expect of the press anyway?

Olrik

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Aug 2, 2018, 1:52:10 AM8/2/18

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Huh, proof-reading?

Peter Pan

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Aug 2, 2018, 2:21:23 AM8/2/18

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And another thing: Stop plagiarizing. If you copy
something, cite the URL where you got it from.

Meteorite Debris

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Aug 2, 2018, 3:29:40 AM8/2/18

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In article <5k85mdpqa2eu7vkrm...@4ax.com>, p...@172.16.1.1
says...

What are you talking about? I am the creator of this story.

Meteorite Debris

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Aug 2, 2018, 3:36:11 AM8/2/18

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In article <5k85mdpqa2eu7vkrm...@4ax.com>, p...@172.16.1.1
says...
>

If you want to accuse me Peter Pan please present the original (which
you will not find by virtue of the story and others I have posted not
pre-existing until I created them). It is very easy to accuse someone of
plagiarism without evidence and thereby muddy someone's reputation. Mud
sticks, so please do substantiate your accusation or apologise.

Meteorite Debris

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Aug 2, 2018, 8:35:39 AM8/2/18

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In article <5k85mdpqa2eu7vkrm...@4ax.com>, p...@172.16.1.1
says...
>

> And another thing: Stop plagiarizing. If you copy
> something, cite the URL where you got it from.

This, Peter Pan, is one way to check if material has been plagiarised.

Copy one random sentence in input into Google complete with quotes
enclosing it to search for the string and not the individual words. I
chose this sentence at random from another post, the Mistaken Rapture
post which we all know was the work of one Elroy Willis in 2001. The
sentence thus :-

"Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile-up resulted"

The results returned predictably identified multiple occurrences. The
story went viral at the time and was reproduced in many forums. 408
results were found. The sequence is unlikely to be randomly reproduced
and would be an ideal pass phrase because it contains sufficient entropy
to be safe from hacking. In fact out of curiosity I input that sentence
into https://howsecureismypassword.net/ and found "It would take a
computer about 2 octotrigintillion years to crack your password".

Next I took a random sentence from "Chimps in zoo go mad after eating an
apple", my story and input it into Google. The sentence fragment:-

"forbidden fruit and took out a bite to the shock of the other chimps."

Only 1 result was found, 5 hours ago. It was found in Google Groups and
it is my post of my story.

Google is your friend. So next time before accusing someone of
plagiarising do please be sure of your facts make use of simple tools
available to you. If you have access to more complex plagiarist software
design to shift out plagiarists in academia you could also use that.

JWS

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Aug 2, 2018, 9:41:41 AM8/2/18

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It does remind one of some other silly-ass story. Can't seem
to place it, however.

hleopold

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Aug 2, 2018, 1:30:11 PM8/2/18

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On Aug 2, 2018, Peter Pan wrote
(in article<bea6mdlbg7mckenf8...@4ax.com>):

> Meteorite Debris <W...@whoknows.com> wrote:
>
> > In article<5k85mdpqa2eu7vkrm...@4ax.com>, p...@172.16.1.1

> Ok, ok. You're forgiven. Go and sin no more.
>
> It was a pretty good piece. Otherwise i wouldn't have
> thought it was copied.
>
> Who is EAP?

That is “Evil, Atheist Press."

--
Harry F. Leopold
aa #2076
AA/Vet #4
The Prints of Darkness (remove gene to email)

Of course I am a Marxist, I love Groucho, Chico and Harpo! Zeppo is ok, I
guess.

Meteorite Debris

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Aug 2, 2018, 6:19:06 PM8/2/18

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In article <bea6mdlbg7mckenf8...@4ax.com>, p...@172.16.1.1

> Ok, ok. You're forgiven. Go and sin no more.
>
> It was a pretty good piece. Otherwise i wouldn't have
> thought it was copied.
>
> Who is EAP?

Thank you.

Meteorite Debris

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Aug 2, 2018, 6:24:59 PM8/2/18

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In article <4fb5e089-349e-4c51...@googlegroups.com>,
jld...@skybeam.com says...

You may be think of Elroy's story of the fire starting chimp. Fire
Starting Chimp to be Destroyed at San Diego Zoo
by Elroy Willis.

http://www.eaparchives.com/chimpfire.php

aaa

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Aug 3, 2018, 9:41:40 AM8/3/18

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You are over-reacting. He meant you "plagiarized" it from the Bible with
your Darwinian twist.

>
>

--
God's spiritual evidence:

Truth, love, wisdom, compassion, knowledge, consciousness, intelligence,
happiness, faith, courage, justice, peace, freedom, and life itself.

BDK

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Aug 3, 2018, 11:24:50 AM8/3/18

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In article <MPG.35cd01f17...@freenews.iinet.net.au>,
W...@whoknows.com says...

I've been to a lot of zoos over my lifetime, and the local one many many
times, and I've never seen a chimp that DIDN'T eat apples. So , this
story is just another BS load to suck in the weak minded.

--
BDK: Head Government Shill, Psychotronic World Dominator. Master of
Remote Viewing. Level 7 expert in kOOkStudies.
Former FEMA camp activities director. Head Strategic Writer. Former
Black Helicopter color consultant.

aaa

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Aug 3, 2018, 8:53:05 PM8/3/18

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On 08/03/2018 06:42 PM, Peter Pan wrote:

> You are ridiculous.
>
> If you knew anything about the bible, you'd know that.
>

Actually, what's really ridiculous is his plagiary.

aaa

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Aug 4, 2018, 12:12:39 PM8/4/18

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> He didn't plagiarize anything, bonehead. He wrote it
> himself.
>

That's funny. You were the one who first accused him plagiary. What
happened?

aaa

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Aug 4, 2018, 9:46:03 PM8/4/18

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> Yep, and i was wrong. Didn't you read this thread?
>

I did. That's why I know you weren't wrong. This is only his stupid
imitation of the Bible story.

Yap Honghor

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Aug 4, 2018, 10:08:00 PM8/4/18

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You mean Adam and Eve were meant to be chimps???

%

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Aug 4, 2018, 10:10:50 PM8/4/18

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