New evidence in support of the ark story...
Andres64
CREATION SCIENCE BREAKING NEWS
For years, Creation Scientists have disputed how Noah was able to
quickly collect millions of indigenous animals from remote,
inaccessible regions of the world for a 40-day ride in his ark. New
evidence from an archeological find in China supports the long held
Christian belief that Noah's sons rode giant flying dinosaurs to
transport duck billed platypuses from Australia, and penguins and polar
bears from the Antarctic, to name a few. "Those must have been some
mighty big flying dinosaurs," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "Imagine the
look on Noah's face when his sons flew in for a landing with a pair of
Hippos strapped to the back of one of them things! Glory to God!"
"The Lord is just amazing," says Creation Scientist, Dr. Jonathan
Edwards. "Whenever Atheist scientists make a new find, they think it
will hack away at our Christian beliefs. They must get pretty peeved at
how sneaky our Lord is, because whenever they unearth something, it
only provides more support for the historical accuracy of the Holy
Bible And these flying dinosaurs they keep finding are no exception!"
Dr. Edwards explains that it would have been impossible for Noah's sons
to travel to the four corners of the earth to areas that were
previously inaccessible on foot. "Noah and his sons had to collect two
of every single creature on the face of the planet," he says. "We're
talking about a big haul here. At first we just attributed it to what
Creation Scientists call, the Holy Finger Snapping Theory. That's where
God snaps his fingers and just makes it so." Edwards points out that
Creation Scientists are still unanimous in attributing the fact that
Noah was able to load 100 million plus animals onto a 450 foot ark "in
the selfsame day" (Genesis 7:13-14) to the Finger Snapping Theory. In
the case of how the animals were collected from remote regions of the
world in the first place however, recent archeological finds indicate
that Noah's sons were able to tame giant flying dinosaurs and in turn,
load them up with food supplies and hitch rides for long trips around
the world to China, South America, Australia, Greenland, and the North
Pole.
Creation Scientists estimate that since the Earth is only ten-thousand
years old, human beings were living among dinosaurs and had plenty of
time to tame them. "I would have loved to have been around to see Cain
and Abel rolling around in the grass outside the Garden of Eden playing
with the pet raptors their father, Adam, gave them for their
birthdays," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "What a glorious time that must
have been!"
Through tithing donations from Landover Baptist Church members, the
Center for Creation Research was able to secure several fossilized
remains of flying dinosaurs valued at over $14 million. The remains
will be studied exhaustively for evidence of the leather harnessing
used to secure Noah's sons for their long transcontinental journeys.
Greywolf
"Andres64" <andr...@excite.com> wrote in message
news:1119726894.4...@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Wow!! Thanks for the report!! Now only if the damn Turks would turn over the
remains of the Ark they have stashed away in Ankara! (There are reports they
have Noah's underwear in a bullet-proof display case.)
Greywolf
Michelle Malkin
"Andres64" <andr...@excite.com> wrote in message
news:1119726894.4...@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
creationists wouldn't have the imagination to create flying
dinosaurs (trained dragons?) from the feathered fossils found
in China. Landover Baptist strikes again!
--
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Michelle Malkin (Mickey) aa list#1
alt.atheism atheist/agnostic list name collector
BAAWA Knight & EAC Bible thumper thumper
http://questioner.www2.50megs.com
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Larry Heath
"Andres64" <andr...@excite.com> wrote in message
news:1119726894.4...@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
> CREATION SCIENCE BREAKING NEWS
Note oxymoron (CREATION SCIENCE)
Snip further moronic BS.
Someone must be reading too much Ann McCaffrey. Another fairytale, but at
least Ann will tell you so up front.
Later Larry
Vic Sagerquist
You do realize the posted article was pasted from Landover Baptist,
right? It's a parody.
--
Vic Sagerquist
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
Plonked by Jason Gastrich for all eternity...
Lovingly plonked by Roger Pearse
______________
"I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't
think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and
parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face
white and praying to a rock."
[Howard Stern]
johac
"Andres64" <andr...@excite.com> wrote:
That is one of their better ones.
--
John Hachmann aa #1782
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"
-Voltaire
Razor 616
wrote:
>New Evidence Suggests Noah's Sons Rode Flying Dinosaurs
>CREATION SCIENCE BREAKING NEWS
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!
--
#1295
Razor 616
<lgh...@comcast.net> wrote:
>Snip further moronic BS.
>
>Someone must be reading too much Ann McCaffrey. Another fairytale, but at
>least Ann will tell you so up front.
Landoverbaptist.org is a satire site, like theonion :-)
--
#1295
Dubh Ghall
...And she tells it better.
--
Puck Greenman
The spelling, Like any opinion stated here,
is purely my own
#162 BAAWA Knight.
Plonked by Rob Duncan
Na bister 500,000
Grogs
216.196.97.136:
> On 25 Jun 2005, Larry Heath dropped trou, farted, whirled, then shouted:
>
>>
>> "Andres64" <andr...@excite.com> wrote in message
>> news:1119726894.4...@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
>>> New Evidence Suggests Noah's Sons Rode Flying Dinosaurs
>>> CREATION SCIENCE BREAKING NEWS
>>
>> Note oxymoron (CREATION SCIENCE)
>>
>> Snip further moronic BS.
>>
>> Someone must be reading too much Ann McCaffrey. Another fairytale, but
>> at least Ann will tell you so up front.
>>
>> Later Larry
>>
>>
>
> You do realize the posted article was pasted from Landover Baptist,
> right? It's a parody.
>
LOL, I can't blame the guy too much. It took me a few minutes to figure
that out too (especially with a name like Landover Baptist Church.) I've
seen a lot crazier stuff posted in complete seriousness. Check out the
'time cube' guy, for example. The ads did give it away though.
Larry Heath
"Vic Sagerquist" <add...@withheld.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9680D9F6...@216.196.97.136...
Nope, I didn't get past the first line or two, and snipped the rest without
looking, who was responsible.
Later Larry
aa # 2216
Vic Sagerquist
I've done that too many times myself...