KIDDIES, YOU'D BETTER NOT READ THIS

[Intrepid]

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< LATE BULLETIN
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HARRISBURG, Pa. (Rueters) -- Penn-
sylvania lawmakers will return to the Capitol
today to vote on emergency legislation
to cancel Trick-or-Treat Night next week.
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Originally scheduled for Tuesday, the eve
of Halloween, authorities now say it would
be a very dangerous time for kiddies to be
roaming the streets ringing doorbells since
a vicious storm is expected.
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Trick-or-Treat, also known as Mischief
Night, is that delightful time of the year
when innocent kiddies are miraculously
transformed into rotten little monsters
who intimidate people to give them both
money and candy.
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< PREVIOUS STORY
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HARRISBURG, Pa. (Rueters) -- Mischief
Night, also known as Trick-or-Treat and
an integral part of Halloween, will be moved
up two weeks if Pennsylvania legislators
show some balls.
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The prime reason is that the evening
of Oct. 30, Mischief Night -- or the day
before Halloween -- has been extremely
cold and windy in recent years and the
kids don't enjoy themselves as much as
if the weather were a lot warmer.
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After all, if you were a kid and you
were wearing a spooky, scary costume --
or dressed as Cinderella -- how would you
like to be walking the streets, ringing
doorbells, while you're colder than a
Popsicle just out of the Fridge?
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Ed Conrad (I-Mahanoy), who has
proposed the legislation, told his
colleagues on the House floor: "Ask
NOT what the kids can do for us.
Ask what WE can do for the kids."
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http://sp.life123.com/bm.pix/halloween_picking_costume1.s600x600.jpg
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mischief_Night
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< PREVIOUS TO THE PREVIOUS
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HARRISBURG, Pa. (Rueters) -- Ed
Conrad apparently is quickly being
transformed into a true American hero.
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Reaction from around the country
has been incredible to his proposal in
the Pennsylvania Senate to move
Mischief Night -- Trick-or-Treat -- two
weeks before Halloween.
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This would be done so kids in their
colorful flimsy costumes won't freeze
their tails off the evening of Oct.30,
the night before the major holiday
which is almost always cold and windy.
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Conrad, who discovered petrified human
remains between coal veins to completely
destroy Darwin's ridiculous theory of man's
origin, was well pleased at the reaction.
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"I'm amazed my suggestion has caught
on like wildfire and I'm really thinking
of suggesting we go one step farther, moving
Mischief Night to the last week of August
so the kids can stay up much later since
they'll have no school the next day."
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http://www.flixya.com/files-photo/f/i/r/firstworld-2439588.jpg
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< ORIGINAL STORY
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HARRISBURG, Pa. (Rueters) -- Mischief
Night, also known as Trick-or-Treat and
an integral part of Halloween, will be moved
up two weeks if Pennsylvania legislators
show some balls.
<
The prime reason is that the evening
of Oct. 30, Mischief Night -- or the day
before Halloween -- has been extremely
cold and windy in recent years and the
kids would enjoy themselves much
more if the weather was a lot warmer.
<
After all, if you were a kid and you
were wearing a spooky, scary costume --
or dressed as Cinderella -- how would
you like to be walking the streets, ringing
doorbells, while you're colder than a
Popsicle just out of the Fridge?
<
Ed Conrad (I-Mahanoy), who has
proposed the legislation, told his
colleagues on the House floor: "Ask
NOT what the kids can do for us.
Ask what WE can do for the kids."
<
http://sp.life123.com/bm.pix/halloween_picking_costume1.s600x600.jpg
<
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mischief_Night
<
Critics say that you can't mess with
Halloween -- or other sacred holidays --
but Conrad responded with a strong
one-word response: "BULLCRAP!"
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Passage of the law will see Mischief
Night celebrated on Oct. 15 next year,
although Halloween would still fall on
the 31th.
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Conrad, who is intimately known
by his constituents as Legally Insane,
is widely despised in Pennsylvania
and throughout the Free World.
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He is especially hated by brain-
dead evolutionists, anthropologists,
paleontologists and atheists; cancer
researchers; the Smithsonian; George
Bush & Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh;
BillO Reilly; Sean "Ins" Hannity; NASA;
Ann "Douche Bag" Coulter; family of
the late Neil Armstrong, cat-lovers
and many, many others.
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Incidentally, this is how Ed Conrad usually dresses
on Mischief Night.
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http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Dartboard.jpg
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Sometimes. however, he does clever tricks
while wearing his Birthday Suit.
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http://www.edconrad.com/pics/TightFit.jpg
<
Here are a few of the major conspiracies
that Ed has destroyed and why he is so
widely despised.
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0H, NO! NOT 911 AGAIN
https://groups.google.com/forum/?fromgroups#!topic/911-conspiracy/D81ZnPzzb8A
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NOW WE KNOW WHO KILLED JFK
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5770984395481454022&q=jfk+as#
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MAN AS OLD AS COAL
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.ed-conrad/msg/522305f02e955b66
http://www.edconrad.com
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MOONED OVER MIAMI
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.ed-conrad/browse_thread/thread/f26c0c6de5c908bd
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WAS JESUS MARRIED WITH KIDS?
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.ed-conrad/browse_thread/thread/f11131bfebc6e6ed
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DEATH DOES NOT EXIST
http://www.edconrad.org
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TIME TO END THE CANCER CURE CONSPIRACY
https://groups.google.com/forum/?fromgroups=#!topic/alt.fan.ed-conrad/3rVk6-Kaejc
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YES, VIRGINIA, SOME DOGS "CAN" TALK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw
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WORLD'S TOP-RANKED UNIVERSITIES
<
Study Real Hard So You Can Become
Almost As Smart As Ed Conrad
<
Rank Name of University Country
1 Harvard University USA
2 University of Oxford UK
3 University of Cambridge UK
4 Stanford University USA
5 Mass. Institute of Technology USA
6 University of California, Berkeley USA
7 California Institute of Technology USA
8 Princeton University USA
9 Yale University USA
10 University of Chicago USA
11 Columbia University USA
12 University of California, San Diego USA
13 Cornell University USA
14 University of California, Los Angeles USA
15 University Pennsylvania USA
16 University of Wisconsin, Madison USA
17 University of Washington, Seattle USA
18 Tokyo University Japan
19 Univ. of California, San Francisco USA
20 University of Michigan, Ann Arbor USA
21 Kyoto University Japan
22 Imperial College London UK
23 Johns Hopkins University USA
24 University of Toronto Canada
25 University College London UK
26 University of Illinois, Urbana USA
27 Swiss Federal Institute of Technology, Zurich Switzerland
28 Washington University, St. Louis USA
29 New York University USA
30 Duke University USA
31 University of Minnesota, Twin Cities USA
32 Northwestern University USA
33 Rockefeller University USA
34 University of Colorado, Boulder USA
35 Univ.of California, Santa Barbara USA
36 University of British Columbia Canada
37 University of Maryland, College Park USA
38 Utrecht University Netherlands
39 University of Texas, Austin USA
40 University of Texas SW Med Center USA
41 Penn State University, University Park
42 University of California, Davis USA
43 Vanderbilt University USA
44 University of California, Irvine USA
45 University of Paris 06 France
46 University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh USA
47 University of Southern California USA
48 Rutgers University, New Brunswick USA
49 University of Manchester UK
50 Karolinska Institute, Stockholm Sweden
51 University of Munich Germany
52 Technical University of Munich Germany
53 University of Florida USA
54 University of Edinburgh UK
55 Australian National University Australia
56 Carnegie Mellon University USA
57 University of Copenhagen Denmark
58 Univer La Sapienza Italy

[Ubiquitous]

TROLL-O-METER

5* 6* *7
4* *8
3* *9
2* *10
1* | *stuporous
0* -*- *catatonic
* |\ *comatose
* \ *clinical death
* \ *biological death
* _\/ *demonic apparition
* * *damned for all eternity