toys
Wostenberg
Catholicism: he who denies himself the most toys wins
Atheism: there is no toy maker
Polytheism: there are many toy makers
Evolutionism: the toys made themselves
Source: today's Denver Rocky Mountain News
TheCentralSc...@pobox.com
>Capitalism: he who dies with the most toys wins
>Catholicism: he who denies himself the most toys wins
>Atheism: there is no toy maker
>Polytheism: there are many toy makers
>Evolutionism: the toys made themselves
TWO COWS
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them
and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for
by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the
government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as
much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to
take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care
of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them,
but the government takes all the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots
you.
SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for
keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the
milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick
someone to tell you who gets the milk.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if
you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for
speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what
you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to
milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and
pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms
accounting for the missing cows.
FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and
denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of
"ownership" is a symbol of the phallo - centric, war - mongering,
intolerant past) two differently - aged (but no less valuable to
society) bovines of non - specified gender.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.
hrgr...@my-dejanews.com
Wostenberg <pf...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
> Capitalism: he who dies with the most toys wins
> Catholicism: he who denies himself the most toys wins
> Atheism: there is no toy maker
> Polytheism: there are many toy makers
> Evolutionism: the toys made themselves
>
>
Philosophy is like looking in a dark room for a black cat which isn't there.
Theology is like looking in a dark room for a black cat which isn't there and
shouting "Eureka" ..
Source: A.Nonym & T.Radit
:-)
HRG.
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
ttra...@my-dejanews.com
Wostenberg <pf...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
> Capitalism: he who dies with the most toys wins
> Catholicism: he who denies himself the most toys wins
> Atheism: there is no toy maker
> Polytheism: there are many toy makers
> Evolutionism: the toys made themselves
>
> Source: today's Denver Rocky Mountain News
>
>
Add:
Agnosticism: It is impossible to determine the source of the toys.
Nihilism: There are no toys.
Defeatism: I can't win.
Clintonism: It depends on what you mean by "toys".
American Patriot
Death
Wostenberg wrote in message <36C98C89...@ix.netcom.com>...
>Capitalism: he who dies with the most toys wins
>Catholicism: he who denies himself the most toys wins
>Atheism: there is no toy maker
>Polytheism: there are many toy makers
>Evolutionism: the toys made themselves
>
>Source: today's Denver Rocky Mountain News
Catholicism: he who denies himself the most toys think they win.
Capitialist Catholic:he who can square with himself the most toys possible.
Catholic Church: he who has a rather large collection of toys.
Atheism: there is no toy maker, it's not a toy question.
Evolutionism: the toys made themselves, ergo Toys 'R' us.
Shane D. Killian
>
> SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
> harmonica lessons.
>
He drives down the freeway at 100mph and holds the harmonica out the
window. Surrealists claim it is unfair harassment that the highway
patrol constantly pull them over and give them tickets for practicing.
If they lose their current case, they say they will take it to a
sideways court.
Q: By the way, how many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Green.
Q: Why did the surrealist cross the road?
A: Twelve to sing about bathtubs and the other 2.6 to fill the doghouse
with multicolored telephones.
Q: How do surrealists fish?
A: With a dotted line.
Q: Do they catch any fish?
A: Every other one.
--
Shane D. Killian -- sha...@vnet.net -- http://users.vnet.net/shanek
"uuunnn k mmmmmmk hhhhhhhh khbbbbbbbbbbbh
gnhjjjjjjjjjjj rrrrrrrrrddddfc gvb uyyyyyyyhubbbbbbb"
--Sinclair Mitchell Killian, born 1/29/98
pan
>TheCentralSc...@pobox.com wrote:
>>
>> SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
>> harmonica lessons.
>>
>And how does a surrealist practice the harmonica?
>
>He drives down the freeway at 100mph and holds the harmonica out the
>window. Surrealists claim it is unfair harassment that the highway
>patrol constantly pull them over and give them tickets for practicing.
>If they lose their current case, they say they will take it to a
>sideways court.
>
>
>Q: By the way, how many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
>
>A: Green.
REASON: Ice cream has no bones.
>
>
>Q: Why did the surrealist cross the road?
>
>A: Twelve to sing about bathtubs and the other 2.6 to fill the doghouse
>with multicolored telephones.
ANALYSIS: Wireless phonographs = Harry Belafonte + a green chair.
>
>
>Q: How do surrealists fish?
>
>A: With a dotted line.
>
>Q: Do they catch any fish?
>
>A: Every other one.
BECAUSE: The time-honored destruction of kibble is beyond moral experiments.
Thomas P.
>Capitalism: he who dies with the most toys wins
>Catholicism: he who denies himself the most toys wins
>Atheism: there is no toy maker
>Polytheism: there are many toy makers
>Evolutionism: the toys made themselves
>
>Source: today's Denver Rocky Mountain News
>
Why don't we just play with the toys and declare everyone the winner?
Thomas P.
Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum.
Louann Miller
> Q: How do surrealists fish?
>
> A: With a dotted line.
>
> Q: Do they catch any fish?
>
> A: Every other one.
I can't resist mentioning the three statisticians who went duck hunting.
The first one fired his shotgun and hit six feet ahead of the flock. The
second fired his shotgun and hit six feet behind the flock. The third
one jumped up and shouted, "We got them!"
--
"Think for yourself, 'cause I won't be there with you." George Harrison
cz...@ecn.ab.ca
: I can't resist mentioning the three statisticians who went duck hunting.
: The first one fired his shotgun and hit six feet ahead of the flock. The
: second fired his shotgun and hit six feet behind the flock. The third
: one jumped up and shouted, "We got them!"
Just had to say:
LOL!
--
*************************************************************
In science, "fact" can only mean "confirmed to such a
degree that it would be perverse to withold provisional
assent." I suppose that apples might start to rise
tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time
in physics classrooms.
-Stephen Jay Gould
*************************************************************
Shane D. Killian
>
> REASON: Ice cream has no bones.
>
On the other hand, you have five more fingers.
> ANALYSIS: Wireless phonographs = Harry Belafonte + a green chair.
>
Peanut butter.
> BECAUSE: The time-honored destruction of kibble is beyond moral > experiments.
>
Only if the molasses are hot.
Paul Andrew King
Louann Miller <lou...@post.cis.smu.edu> wrote:
>I can't resist mentioning the three statisticians who went duck hunting.
>The first one fired his shotgun and hit six feet ahead of the flock. The
>second fired his shotgun and hit six feet behind the flock. The third
>one jumped up and shouted, "We got them!"
Reminds me of another joke.
A statistician is someone who'll sit with his head in the oven, his feet in
the fridge and say "on average I feel fine".
--
Paul K.
Elroy Willis
>Wostenberg <pf...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>>Capitalism: he who dies with the most toys wins
>>Catholicism: he who denies himself the most toys wins
>>Atheism: there is no toy maker
>>Polytheism: there are many toy makers
>>Evolutionism: the toys made themselves
>>Source: today's Denver Rocky Mountain News
>Why don't we just play with the toys and declare everyone the winner?
That's an idea. Let everyone carry paint-ball guns around all day, and
those who get on each others nerves are shot with paint. Those who
wind up paintless at the end of the day, or week, are the winners.
Who would be the winners in this scenario?
--
Elroy
BAAWA Undercover News Division
http://www.cyberramp.net/~elo/news
Thomas P.
>tonyho...@post6.tele.dk (Thomas P.) wrote:
>
>>Wostenberg <pf...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>
>>>Capitalism: he who dies with the most toys wins
>>>Catholicism: he who denies himself the most toys wins
>>>Atheism: there is no toy maker
>>>Polytheism: there are many toy makers
>>>Evolutionism: the toys made themselves
>
>>>Source: today's Denver Rocky Mountain News
>
>>Why don't we just play with the toys and declare everyone the winner?
>
>That's an idea. Let everyone carry paint-ball guns around all day, and
>those who get on each others nerves are shot with paint. Those who
>wind up paintless at the end of the day, or week, are the winners.
>
>Who would be the winners in this scenario?
Those whom no one cares about. It is a great idea. The losers would
be the winners. That way everybody would be happy.
>
>--
>Elroy
>BAAWA Undercover News Division
>http://www.cyberramp.net/~elo/news
>
Thomas P.
Stix
>Shane D. Killian wrote:
>> Q: How do surrealists fish?
>> A: With a dotted line.
>> Q: Do they catch any fish?
>> A: Every other one.
>I can't resist mentioning the three statisticians who went duck hunting.
>The first one fired his shotgun and hit six feet ahead of the flock. The
>second fired his shotgun and hit six feet behind the flock. The third
>one jumped up and shouted, "We got them!"
. . . or the constipated mathematician who eventually worked it out
with a pencil.
Stix
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Mysticism is a disease of the mind."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
TheCentralSc...@pobox.com
>Louann Miller posted the following to alt.atheism:
>
>>Shane D. Killian wrote:
>
>>> Q: How do surrealists fish?
>
>>> A: With a dotted line.
>
>>> Q: Do they catch any fish?
>
>>> A: Every other one.
>
>>I can't resist mentioning the three statisticians who went duck hunting.
>>The first one fired his shotgun and hit six feet ahead of the flock. The
>>second fired his shotgun and hit six feet behind the flock. The third
>>one jumped up and shouted, "We got them!"
>
>. . . or the constipated mathematician who eventually worked it out
>with a pencil.
>
Factorials were invented to make math look more exciting.
Does the name pavlov ring a bell?
Shane D. Killian
>
> . . . or the constipated mathematician who eventually worked it out
> with a pencil.
>
hot-pots to heat up their dinner. They read the instructions, which said
that it should be used at an elevation of at least 500 ft. above sea
level. They did some triangulation and found out they were only 470 ft.
above sea level, so they found a tree with a branch 30 feet high. One of
them shimmied to the top with the hot put to put it into place, when the
other noticed something fall off of the pot, and bent down to pick it
up. The first mathematician came back down to see his friend examining a
little square label which read, "Do not remove this square under penalty
of law." He asked him, "Whatcha got there?"
And the other mathematician replied, "It's the square of the high pot in
use."
N G
correction
Conservatism: An attempt to rationalize selfishness
Liberalism: An attempt to rationalize self-indulgence
Catholicism: The gift of life is the gift of free will!
Atheism: Egoism
Evolutionism: God is subtle.
NG
DarkAngel
> correction
>
> Conservatism: An attempt to rationalize selfishness
> Liberalism: An attempt to rationalize self-indulgence
You seem to have switched the definitions for Catholicism and Atheism.
> Catholicism: The gift of life is the gift of free will!
> Atheism: Egoism
> Evolutionism: God is subtle.
And so are Leprechauns...
--
a.a atheist #1172 sXe BAAWA
"Up against the rows of grey robots that control our lives
The things we have to offer often seem so frail
As they plan destruction, and gain respectability
We offer our creativity, and are made outcasts"
- Crass, "Yes Sir, I Will"
Jeff/addesign
>On 16 Feb 1999 09:57:29 -0500, Wostenberg <pf...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>>Capitalism: he who dies with the most toys wins
>>Catholicism: he who denies himself the most toys wins
>>Atheism: there is no toy maker
>>Polytheism: there are many toy makers
>>Evolutionism: the toys made themselves
>TWO COWS
>SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
>harmonica lessons.
Something's missing here.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and
puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take
care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as
you need.
MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and
drafts you.
BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps'
brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair
price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them
to your publicly - listed company, using letters of credit
opened by your brother - in - law at the bank, then execute a
debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get
all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows.
The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian
intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the
majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows'
milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that
the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shiu is bad.
ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you
from milking or killing them.
COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man.
You got to have some of this milk.
LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the
constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas
about government. The cow runs for office, and while most
people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except
the other cow votes for her because they think it would be
"throwing their vote away."
Jeff/addesign a.a #1063
****************************************************************
Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum--Lucretius, 1st c. BC
"So vast is the sum of the iniquities that religion has induced."
****************************************************************
Alan
AGNOSTICISM: There may or may not be two cows to
begin with, let alone milk.
ATHEISM: Though I smell it, step in it, and when no one's
looking, even taste it...
What cows?
Alan
Alan
>****************************************************************
>Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum--Lucretius, 1st c. BC
>"So vast is the sum of the iniquities that religion has induced."
>****************************************************************
And of these...atheism...#1.
Alan
raven1
wrote:
Nope, actually, atheism isn't induced by religion, it predates
religion. It is, in fact, the default position. To clarify, atheism is
simply the lack of belief in deities. We are all born atheist; it's
only through indoctrination that most of us become theists, just as no
child is born believing in Santa Claus, it's something learned from
adults.
Alas for the theist, there's no more evidence for "God" than there is
for Santa Claus. Unfortunately, many people would rather cling to a
cherished delusion than wake up and smell the reality.
--
All Hail Fondle the Elephant! (Official mascot of THE KIND)
Our debut CD-Single, "Rubber Girl" is now available! (Also featuring "Undertow" and "The Road"). Look for our long-awaited full-length CD "You're Soaking In It" in March! E-mail us for details and upcoming shows!
raven1
wrote:
Sounds like you're implying that theism is crap, doesn't it?
Try this one:
THEISM: Even though it looks like this barn is empty, gosh darn it, I
have *faith* that there are two cows in here! Evidence? Of course I
have evidence! It says so in the BuyBull !
overk...@my-dejanews.com
the new trolls are. I've also begin to nitice a pecular pattern, when one
major toll disappears, a new one pops up rather quickly, with the same hate
tactics. This new troll, CK, his tactics are much like St. Timmothy Sutters,
who coincedentaly, is no where to be found. Another amazing coincidence, is
that Sutter showed up after that Shepherd fellow left, who was exactally like
Sutter!
I may be wrong, I but the idea has crossed my mind each time the cycle
repeats it's self.
Regards,
Overkill
aker2<at>hotmail<dot>com a.a #1336
Alan
>On 25 Feb 1999 06:57:30 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>wrote:
>
>>
>>AGNOSTICISM: There may or may not be two cows to
>>begin with, let alone milk.
>>
>>ATHEISM: Though I smell it, step in it, and when no one's
>>looking, even taste it...
>>
>>What cows?
>
>Sounds like you're implying that theism is crap, doesn't it?
Employing the creature's logic when you don't even
believe that it exists?
C'mon, give the creature it's due! You can do it!
Audibly recite this to yourself thrice times two...
"I am actually a...S-A-T-A-N-I-S-T."
Now, didn't that feel better?
Well, for the time being, anyway.
>Try this one:
>
>THEISM: Even though it looks like this barn is empty, gosh darn it, I
>have *faith* that there are two cows in here! Evidence? Of course I
>have evidence! It says so in the BuyBull !
Emotionalism...a spark of spirituality in his "deadness"?
Nah...couldn't be...
As a theist, I must be imagining!
Alan
Alan
>On 25 Feb 1999 06:59:58 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>wrote:
>
>>On 25 Feb 1999 02:10:26 -0500, addd...@interaccess.com (Jeff/addesign) emanated:
>>
>>>****************************************************************
>>>Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum--Lucretius, 1st c. BC
>>>"So vast is the sum of the iniquities that religion has induced."
>>>****************************************************************
>>
>> And of these...atheism...#1.
>
>Nope, actually, atheism isn't induced by religion, it predates
>religion. It is, in fact, the default position. To clarify, atheism is
>simply the lack of belief in deities. We are all born atheist; it's
>only through indoctrination that most of us become theists, just as no
>child is born believing in Santa Claus, it's something learned from
>adults.
The Cause for religion...
....atheism(Look Ma! No soul!), Neanderthals(Look Ma! No mind!)...
....and Tupperware...
predates, period.
>Alas for the theist, there's no more evidence for "God" than there is
>for Santa Claus. Unfortunately, many people would rather cling to a
>cherished delusion than wake up and smell the reality.
Ahhh...an atheist's cherished "reality"...dirt, sweat...
....and $#!+.
Been there...$#a+ that.
Alan
Wayne M. Delia
>
> Audibly recite this to yourself thrice times two...
You're being inconsistent with your use of grammatical syntax. If you're
not doing it intentionally, you should avoid it, because you're looking
like a fool. If you are doing it intentionally, then, well, hello, fool.
Try "Audibly recite this to yourself thrice times twice" or "Audibly
recite this to yourself three times two times." If that's too much for
you, start simpler: "Audibly recite this to yourself six times."
> As a theist, I must be imagining!
Yes, you must, otherwise you'd be an atheist. A theist is simply someone
who imagines a God.
--
Wayne Delia, Atheist #61, MSTie #37634
"Bygones!" (Richard Fish, on "Ally McBeal")
Noah Simoneaux
>Alas for the theist, there's no more evidence for "God" than there is
>for Santa Claus. Unfortunately, many people would rather cling to a
>cherished delusion than wake up and smell the reality.
>
Speaking for myself, if I had to choose a god, I'd much rather it be Santa
Claus than one of those petulant, spoiled brat gods like the christians have.
If you're bad Santa just puts coal in your stockings. The christian god sends
you to burn in eternal torment if you're bad. Yep, definitely Santa for me.
raven1
wrote:
>On 26 Feb 1999 00:01:53 -0500, psyched...@erols.com (raven1) croaked:
>
>>On 25 Feb 1999 06:57:30 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>>wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>AGNOSTICISM: There may or may not be two cows to
>>>begin with, let alone milk.
>>>
>>>ATHEISM: Though I smell it, step in it, and when no one's
>>>looking, even taste it...
>>>
>>>What cows?
>>
>>Sounds like you're implying that theism is crap, doesn't it?
>
> Employing the creature's logic when you don't even
>believe that it exists?
>
>C'mon, give the creature it's due! You can do it!
>
>Audibly recite this to yourself thrice times two...
>
>"I am actually a...S-A-T-A-N-I-S-T."
Sure. What do I win? I can also say "I am a theist" repeatedly, or
better, "Alan is a twit". Actually, I think I like that last one best.
>
>Now, didn't that feel better?
>
>Well, for the time being, anyway.
>
>>Try this one:
>>
>>THEISM: Even though it looks like this barn is empty, gosh darn it, I
>>have *faith* that there are two cows in here! Evidence? Of course I
>>have evidence! It says so in the BuyBull !
>
> Emotionalism...a spark of spirituality in his "deadness"?
No, actually, it's just a darn good pun.
>
>Nah...couldn't be...
>
>As a theist, I must be imagining!
Yes, by definition.
Peter Kelly
writer of our times overk...@my-dejanews.com<overkill_x@my-
dejanews.com> did eloquently compose:
> I've been away from the NG's for about a month now; I'm begining to learn who
> the new trolls are. I've also begin to nitice a pecular pattern, when one
> major toll disappears, a new one pops up rather quickly,
You make me think of the Hydra which grew 7 heads if 1 was lopped off.
> with the same hate
> tactics. This new troll, CK, his tactics are much like St. Timmothy Sutters,
> who coincedentaly, is no where to be found. Another amazing coincidence, is
> that Sutter showed up after that Shepherd fellow left, who was exactally like
> Sutter!
CK comes from Malaysia and it is not clear what cult type of theist he
is. Maybe it doesn't matter. A bleater is a bleater.
>
> I may be wrong, I but the idea has crossed my mind each time the cycle
> repeats it's self.
>
Don't know.
--
#1417 rot-13 on email reply
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered.
Religion is answers that may never be questioned."
-unknown
Fingerprint for PGP Keys at key server or go to
http://www.wantree.com.au/~pkelly/key.htm
RSA - 71 BA 7C 45 B5 4A 5F EA 72 DB EC 7F 7F A8 70 99
DSS - 196D 0C35 95C9 BFD2 0677 C238 8FDE 0133 86E9 7B89
raven1
wrote:
>On 25 Feb 1999 23:56:52 -0500, psyched...@erols.com (raven1) emanated:
>
>>On 25 Feb 1999 06:59:58 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>>wrote:
>>
>>>On 25 Feb 1999 02:10:26 -0500, addd...@interaccess.com (Jeff/addesign) emanated:
>>>
>>>>****************************************************************
>>>>Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum--Lucretius, 1st c. BC
>>>>"So vast is the sum of the iniquities that religion has induced."
>>>>****************************************************************
>>>
>>> And of these...atheism...#1.
>>
>>Nope, actually, atheism isn't induced by religion, it predates
>>religion. It is, in fact, the default position. To clarify, atheism is
>>simply the lack of belief in deities. We are all born atheist; it's
>>only through indoctrination that most of us become theists, just as no
>>child is born believing in Santa Claus, it's something learned from
>>adults.
>
> The Cause for religion...
>
>....atheism(Look Ma! No soul!),
Quite correct.
>Neanderthals(Look Ma! No mind!)...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You misspelled "theists".
>
>....and Tupperware...
>
>predates, period.
What on Earth *are* you babbling about?
>
>>Alas for the theist, there's no more evidence for "God" than there is
>>for Santa Claus. Unfortunately, many people would rather cling to a
>>cherished delusion than wake up and smell the reality.
>
> Ahhh...an atheist's cherished "reality"...dirt, sweat...
>
>....and $#!+.
>
>Been there...$#a+ that.
And, apparently, decided to live in a fantasy world instead, which,
curiously, is indistinguishable to the outside observer from the real
one, except that the inhabitants feel the need to bleat about some
undetectable deity that they think they perceive.
Alan
>Alan wrote:
>>
>
>> Audibly recite this to yourself thrice times two...
>
>You're being inconsistent with your use of grammatical syntax. If you're
>not doing it intentionally, you should avoid it, because you're looking
>like a fool. If you are doing it intentionally, then, well, hello, fool.
Tsk, tsk...infantile name-calling...
Infant.
>Try "Audibly recite this to yourself thrice times twice" or
This had first occurred to me, truly, but using "two"
instead of "twice" seemed to flow better to my mind's
ear...
In that I am a theist...
figures, huh?
>"Audibly recite this to yourself three times two times." If that's too much for
>you, start simpler: "Audibly recite this to yourself six times."
O, the last one...
for my simplistic, theistic writings.
>> As a theist, I must be imagining!
>
>Yes, you must, otherwise you'd be an atheist. A theist is simply someone
>who imagines a God.
Anyone or anything that may be imagined...exists...
regardless of debate.
Alan
raven1
wrote:
>
>>> As a theist, I must be imagining!
>>
>>Yes, you must, otherwise you'd be an atheist. A theist is simply someone
>>who imagines a God.
>
> Anyone or anything that may be imagined...exists...
>regardless of debate.
Exists as an idea, yes. Exists objectively? Nonsense.
Noah Simoneaux
(grammar discussion snip)
> Anyone or anything that may be imagined...exists...
>regardless of debate.
>
>Alan
>
Regardless of proof too? Can you prove that something exists just because it
can be imagined? Or are you saying that it exists as a notion? Sometimes the
ambiguity of the language is a problem.
Noah Simoneaux
Chani
Alan wrote in message <36d79d11...@news.mem.bellsouth.net>...
>On 26 Feb 1999 10:11:44 -0500, "Wayne M. Delia" <red...@ibm.net>
emanated:
>
>>Alan wrote:
>>>
>>
>>> Audibly recite this to yourself thrice times two...
>>
>>You're being inconsistent with your use of grammatical syntax. If
you're
>>not doing it intentionally, you should avoid it, because you're
looking
>>like a fool. If you are doing it intentionally, then, well, hello,
fool.
>
> Tsk, tsk...infantile name-calling...
>
>Infant.
Ah, so speaks the idiot who started it by referring to another as a
Satanist. You name call, moron, expect to sow what you reap.
Chani, Atheist #1118; Head of the EAC. (why? Because I said so!)
cov...@worldnet.att.net
ICQ #12345332
http://home.att.net/~coverli/
************************************************************
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother,
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint; I do not feel ashamed.
I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I am nothing in between;
you know you wouldn't want it any other way, so take
me as I am; that may mean you have to be a stronger
man............
**************************************************************
<snip>
>Alan
>
Chani
Alan wrote in message <36d762f5...@news.mem.bellsouth.net>...
>On 25 Feb 1999 23:56:52 -0500, psyched...@erols.com (raven1)
emanated:
>
>>On 25 Feb 1999 06:59:58 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>>wrote:
>>
>>>On 25 Feb 1999 02:10:26 -0500, addd...@interaccess.com
(Jeff/addesign) emanated:
>>>
>>>>****************************************************************
>>>>Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum--Lucretius, 1st c. BC
>>>>"So vast is the sum of the iniquities that religion has induced."
>>>>****************************************************************
>>>
>>> And of these...atheism...#1.
>>
>>Nope, actually, atheism isn't induced by religion, it predates
>>religion. It is, in fact, the default position. To clarify, atheism
is
>>simply the lack of belief in deities. We are all born atheist; it's
>>only through indoctrination that most of us become theists, just as
no
>>child is born believing in Santa Claus, it's something learned from
>>adults.
>
> The Cause for religion...
>
You should close you mouth, your idiocy is showing again. You do
realize that Neaderthals had brains that were larger than current Homo
Sapiens? You do realize that it isn't necessarily the size of the
brain that indicated intelligence, but the number of 'folds' that the
brain has? Do you realize that Neaderthals brain pans have exhibited
(by the way the brain leaves impressions on the bone) brains that were
just as complex as ours are in terms of 'folds'? Do you realize that
no species is less than any other species? Do you realize that there
exists evidence (I know difficult concept for you, the evidence thing)
that Neaderthals had some sort of mystical belief system in place?
>
>....and Tupperware...
>
>predates, period.
And idiocy precedes your intellect. Or does it just plain preclude it?
>
>>Alas for the theist, there's no more evidence for "God" than there
is
>>for Santa Claus. Unfortunately, many people would rather cling to a
>>cherished delusion than wake up and smell the reality.
>
> Ahhh...an atheist's cherished "reality"...dirt, sweat...
Atheist's reality include that which is real, and not some fantasy.
>
>....and $#!+.
Ascii symbols?
>
>Been there...$#a+ that.
You have been ascii symbols? You are delusional.
Chani, Atheist #1118; Head of the EAC. (why? Because I said so!)
cov...@worldnet.att.net
ICQ #12345332
http://home.att.net/~coverli/
************************************************************
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother,
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint; I do not feel ashamed.
I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I am nothing in between;
you know you wouldn't want it any other way, so take
me as I am; that may mean you have to be a stronger
man............
**************************************************************
>
>Alan
>
>
>
>
>
>
dotcom
<snip>
> Anyone or anything that may be imagined...exists...
> regardless of debate.
>
> Alan
So if I imagine that a million dollars exist in my bank account, it's
there? Cool. I'll need your full name and address when I go in to the
bank Monday to withdraw a few hundred thou. I'll have to be able to say,
"Alan sez it's real, ask him."
On the down side, I read a lot of Lovecraft. Some of the things I
imagine are not that cool.
dotcom, off...
I am atheist 1469, I tell you!
maf...@my-dejanews.com
[snip]
>
> You may very well have pronounced your just, personal
>punishment.
>
>And of utterly no delight I take in informing you so.
So which cult do you belong to?
>
>Alan
********************************************************
Unforgettable Thomas Paine:
"Society in every state is a blessing, but
government, even in its best state, is but a
necessary evil, in its worst state
an intolerable one."
"Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind,
tyranny in religion is the Worst"
"All national institutions of churches, whether
Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no
other than human inventions, set up to terrify
and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and
profit."
"He that would make his own liberty secure,
must guard even his enemy from oppression;
for if he violates this duty, he establishes
a precedent that will reach to himself"
"A bad cause will ever be supported by
bad means and bad men."
"Moderation in temper is always a virtue;
but moderation in principle is always a
vice."
"War involves in its progress such a train
of unforeseen and unsupposed circumstances
that no human wisdom can calculate its end.
It has but one thing certain and that is to
increase taxes."
"My country is the world; to do good, my religion"
********************************************************
David Iain Greig
>On 27 Feb 1999 18:23:55 -0500, "Chani" <ath...@thereisnogod.com> emanated:
>
><snip> Oh...do you believe in those?
>
> "Have you broken out of your nursery, young lady, to come to
>irritate the adults?" - Rex Harrison as Caesar in "Cleopatra"
>
> O, how I do LOVE to aggravate the atheists so!
>
>Why?
>
>Why do I so?
I dunno, but keep it out of talk.origins? You're also
annoying the Christians over here.
--D.
--
david iain greig gr...@ediacara.org
moderator, talk.origins sp4 kox
http://www.ediacara.org/~greig arbor plena alouattarum
raven1
wrote:
>On 28 Feb 1999 03:51:08 -0500, psyched...@erols.com (raven1) emanated:
>
>>On 28 Feb 1999 03:40:43 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>>wrote:
>>
>>>On 27 Feb 1999 18:23:55 -0500, "Chani" <ath...@thereisnogod.com> emanated:
>>>
>>><snip> Oh...do you believe in those?
>>>
>>> "Have you broken out of your nursery, young lady, to come to
>>>irritate the adults?" - Rex Harrison as Caesar in "Cleopatra"
>>>
>>> O, how I do LOVE to aggravate the atheists so!
>>>
>>>Why?
>>>
>>>Why do I so?
>>
>>Because you're an immature little twerp who feels the need to irritate
>>other people to get his jollies? Really, Alan, you need to grow up,
>>and if possible, find some psychiatric help. Going out of your way to
>>annoy people is indicative of either extreme immaturity or an
>>anti-social personality.
>
>LOL! I love thee, my "dead" brothers and sisters.
Keep it to yourself then. And really, you should try to grow up a bit.
<plonk>
raven1
wrote:
>On 28 Feb 1999 03:27:25 -0500, psyched...@erols.com (raven1) emanated:
>
>>On 28 Feb 1999 03:15:24 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>>wrote:
>>
>>>On 27 Feb 1999 03:16:47 -0500, psyched...@erols.com (raven1) emanated:
>>>
>>>>On 27 Feb 1999 02:20:49 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>>>>wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>> As a theist, I must be imagining!
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Yes, you must, otherwise you'd be an atheist. A theist is simply someone
>>>>>>who imagines a God.
>>>>>
>>>>> Anyone or anything that may be imagined...exists...
>>>>>regardless of debate.
>>>>
>>>>Exists as an idea, yes. Exists objectively? Nonsense.
>>>
>>> In that you nor I may envision that contained within
>>>a twenty-third dimension...or even a twelfth...
>>
>>
>>What on Earth are you babbling about?
>
>LOL! O, "dead" one!
Posting under the influence of LSD may be fun, Alan, but it makes you
come off sounding like an airhead.
Splifford
mauri...@hotmail.com wrote:
> On 28 Feb 1999 03:51:08 -0500, psyched...@erols.com (raven1) emanated:
>
> >On 28 Feb 1999 03:40:43 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
> >wrote:
> >
> >>On 27 Feb 1999 18:23:55 -0500, "Chani" <ath...@thereisnogod.com> emanated:
> >>
> >><snip> Oh...do you believe in those?
> >>
> >> "Have you broken out of your nursery, young lady, to come to
> >>irritate the adults?" - Rex Harrison as Caesar in "Cleopatra"
> >>
> >> O, how I do LOVE to aggravate the atheists so!
> >>
> >>Why?
> >>
> >>Why do I so?
> >
> >Because you're an immature little twerp who feels the need to irritate
> >other people to get his jollies? Really, Alan, you need to grow up,
> >and if possible, find some psychiatric help. Going out of your way to
> >annoy people is indicative of either extreme immaturity or an
> >anti-social personality.
>
> LOL! I love thee, my "dead" brothers and sisters.
>
> Alan
++-------------------------+
|+--------------------------+
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|| carefully placed in |
|| its very own, specially | +-------+
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|| receive the dignity | /||| | | | | | |||\
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++ Thank you. | ||| | | | | | |||
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888 Y88b 888 d88P" "Y88b 8888b 888 888 d8P 888
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888 888 888 888 888 Y88888 888 Y88b Y8P
888 888 Y88b. .d88P 888 Y8888 888 Y88b "
888 88888888 "Y88888P" 888 Y888 888 Y88b 888
--
Scientific creationism: a religious dogma combining massive
ignorance with incredible arrogance.
Creationist: (1) One who follows creationism. (2) A moron. (3) A
person incapable of doing math. (4) A liar. (5) A very gullible
true believer.
Alan
>On 27 Feb 1999 02:20:49 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>wrote:
>
>
>>
>>>> As a theist, I must be imagining!
>>>
>>>Yes, you must, otherwise you'd be an atheist. A theist is simply someone
>>>who imagines a God.
>>
>> Anyone or anything that may be imagined...exists...
>>regardless of debate.
>
>Exists as an idea, yes. Exists objectively? Nonsense.
In that you nor I may envision that contained within
a twenty-third dimension...or even a twelfth...
Sez you.
Alan
Alan
>Alan wrote in message <36d79d11...@news.mem.bellsouth.net>...
>>
>> Tsk, tsk...infantile name-calling...
>>
>>Infant.
>Ah, so speaks the idiot who started it by referring to another as a
>Satanist. You name call, moron, expect to sow what you reap.
"...sow...reap..."? A spark of spirituality! ...I think...
therefore you possess? In any case...
How in all of God's creation may an atheist be offended
by a description in which he/she(let's be politically correct,
now) does not believe?
Alan
Alan
>Alan wrote:
>>
>> Anyone or anything that may be imagined...exists...
>> regardless of debate.
>So if I imagine that a million dollars exist in my bank account, it's
>there?
Not necessarily in your bank account...
LOL!
>On the down side, I read a lot of Lovecraft.
H. P.?
>Some of the things I
>imagine are not that cool.
Yet they exist, nonetheless...
and I wish that they did not.
Alan
raven1
wrote:
>On 27 Feb 1999 03:16:47 -0500, psyched...@erols.com (raven1) emanated:
>
>>On 27 Feb 1999 02:20:49 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>>wrote:
>>
>>
>>>
>>>>> As a theist, I must be imagining!
>>>>
>>>>Yes, you must, otherwise you'd be an atheist. A theist is simply someone
>>>>who imagines a God.
>>>
>>> Anyone or anything that may be imagined...exists...
>>>regardless of debate.
>>
>>Exists as an idea, yes. Exists objectively? Nonsense.
>
> In that you nor I may envision that contained within
>a twenty-third dimension...or even a twelfth...
What on Earth are you babbling about?
John Patrick
> Anyone or anything that may be imagined...exists...
>regardless of debate.
Right now I am imagining an eight dicked walrus ass-raping you.
How does it feel?
John Patrick, alt.atheist #1458
===========================================
"They say that God makes problems
Just to see what you can stand
Before you do as the Devil pleases
And give up the thing you love
But no one deserves it" - Elliot Smith, "Pitseleh"
Alan
<snip> Oh...do you believe in those?
"Have you broken out of your nursery, young lady, to come to
irritate the adults?" - Rex Harrison as Caesar in "Cleopatra"
O, how I do LOVE to aggravate the atheists so!
Why?
Why do I so?
Alan
raven1
wrote:
>On 27 Feb 1999 21:02:58 -0500, dotcom <wk2...@navix.net> emanated:
>
>>Alan wrote:
>>>
>>> Anyone or anything that may be imagined...exists...
>>> regardless of debate.
>
>>So if I imagine that a million dollars exist in my bank account, it's
>>there?
>
> Not necessarily in your bank account...
>
>LOL!
>
>>On the down side, I read a lot of Lovecraft.
>
> H. P.?
>
>>Some of the things I
>>imagine are not that cool.
>
> Yet they exist, nonetheless...
>
>and I wish that they did not.
You have angered Yog-Sothoth. Your only possible remedy is to flee
immediately and never post here again.
>
>Alan
raven1
wrote:
>On 27 Feb 1999 18:23:55 -0500, "Chani" <ath...@thereisnogod.com> emanated:
Because you're an immature little twerp who feels the need to irritate
other people to get his jollies? Really, Alan, you need to grow up,
and if possible, find some psychiatric help. Going out of your way to
annoy people is indicative of either extreme immaturity or an
anti-social personality.
--
Alan
>On 28 Feb 1999 03:15:24 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>wrote:
>
>>On 27 Feb 1999 03:16:47 -0500, psyched...@erols.com (raven1) emanated:
>>
>>>On 27 Feb 1999 02:20:49 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>>>wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>>> As a theist, I must be imagining!
>>>>>
>>>>>Yes, you must, otherwise you'd be an atheist. A theist is simply someone
>>>>>who imagines a God.
>>>>
>>>> Anyone or anything that may be imagined...exists...
>>>>regardless of debate.
>>>
>>>Exists as an idea, yes. Exists objectively? Nonsense.
>>
>> In that you nor I may envision that contained within
>>a twenty-third dimension...or even a twelfth...
>
>
>What on Earth are you babbling about?
LOL! O, "dead" one!
Alan
Alan
>mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan) wrote:
>
>> Anyone or anything that may be imagined...exists...
>>regardless of debate.
>
>Right now I am imagining an eight dicked walrus ass-raping you.
>
>How does it feel?
You may very well have pronounced your just, personal
punishment.
And of utterly no delight I take in informing you so.
Alan
Alan
>On 28 Feb 1999 03:40:43 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan)
>wrote:
>
>>On 27 Feb 1999 18:23:55 -0500, "Chani" <ath...@thereisnogod.com> emanated:
>>
>><snip> Oh...do you believe in those?
>>
>> "Have you broken out of your nursery, young lady, to come to
>>irritate the adults?" - Rex Harrison as Caesar in "Cleopatra"
>>
>> O, how I do LOVE to aggravate the atheists so!
>>
>>Why?
>>
>>Why do I so?
>
>Because you're an immature little twerp who feels the need to irritate
>other people to get his jollies? Really, Alan, you need to grow up,
>and if possible, find some psychiatric help. Going out of your way to
>annoy people is indicative of either extreme immaturity or an
>anti-social personality.
LOL! I love thee, my "dead" brothers and sisters.
Alan
Colin
On 28 Feb 1999 04:17:31 -0500, mauriti...@hotmail.com (Alan) wrote:
>LOL! I love thee, my "dead" brothers and sisters.
>
>Alan
You probably think the "dead" reference is going over
our heads. It isn't.
Your god said "judge not, lest ye be judged likewise".
(or similar)
Now, I have no fear of your mythical hell, but I'm guessing
you do. Perhaps you should be more careful, or you
might get "fried".
What kind of person wishes eternal torture on his neighbours?
A sociopath. Get some therapy, and ask for forgiveness from
your god.
Sleepy aa #1385
-
To sleep, perchance to dream.....
Alan
>What kind of person wishes eternal torture on his neighbours?
I have wished and wish nothing of the sort, atheist...
for I need not.
Alan