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Would you trust a Christian lion?

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His Majesty Comandante Banana, King Of The Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

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Nov 13, 2009, 9:31:45 PM11/13/09
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You know the Christian saying: "And the lion will lay next to the
lamb"...

WOULD YOU TRUST HIM?

Here's the incredible story of Christian the lion...

http://animal.discovery.com/videos/a-lion-called-christian-the-story-of-christian-the-lion.html

***

Well, in real life most lions, 99.9% of them, remain predators, and
you should not trust them at all. According to this Animal Planet show
shot in Kruger National Park where there are many man-eating lions,
you shouldn't run either as they feel encouraged to eat you,
particularly when they are hungry. Simply walk toward them showing no
fear, but not getting too close, since they will defend their
territory. The host of the program walked around with a stick, but I'd
walk around with a banana. A banana-eating lion would indeed earn his
Christian name.

Just something to bear in mind when dealing with Christian lions...


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"A good safari hunter looks at the lion in the eye, and make him
blink"

http://webspawner.com/users/bananarevolution

His Majesty Comandante Banana, King Of The Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

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Nov 13, 2009, 10:14:37 PM11/13/09
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You know the Christian saying: "And the lion will lie next to the
lamb"...

And while that may be a lie in itself, WOULD YOU TRUST HIM?

His Majesty Comandante Banana, King of the Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

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Nov 14, 2009, 12:22:17 AM11/14/09
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On Nov 13, 10:38 pm, "Mike Painter" <md.pain...@sbcglobal.net> wrote:

> > Just something to bear in mind when dealing with Christian lions...
>

> So if they find you, it was christian lion and if they find the banana it
> was not christian?-

A true Christian lion is vegetarian, so he must respect tamer and
accept the banana as a sign of peace.

This is the man I'm talking about. He was indeed attacked by a lion
(which confirms that you should NEVER TO TRUST THE BEAST), but he
seems to have found the weak spot in the lion, a treat... probably a
banana.

MAN VS. BEAST

http://www.videosurf.com/video/dave-salmoni-lion-attack-62702210

His Majesty Comandante Banana, King of the Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

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Nov 14, 2009, 12:31:07 AM11/14/09
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On Nov 14, 12:19 am, "Lee" <moon...@127.0.0.1.com> wrote:

>
> Christians were never going to rate highly in Biology, it is like mixing
> oil and water.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

I don't think they rated high in any science.

The minute they hear science is like they hear about communism.


I remember a real incident where the Christian went to preach to the
lion in the cage... and was killed.

Anyway their faith never saved them from the lions at the Roman
Circus, at most it gave them a ticket to Heaven, right?

This is the incident...

A lion attacked a man who jumped into the animal's enclosure and
shouted "Jesus will save you!"

http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Disturbing%20Truths/lion.htm

His Majesty Comandante Banana, King of the Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

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Nov 14, 2009, 12:33:09 AM11/14/09
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On Nov 14, 12:19 am, "Lee" <moon...@127.0.0.1.com> wrote:

>
> Christians were never going to rate highly in Biology, it is like mixing
> oil and water.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

I don't think they rated high in any science.

The minute they hear science is like they hear about communism.


I remember a real incident where the Christian went to preach to the
lion in the cage...

Anyway their faith never saved them from the lions at the Roman

His Majesty Comandante Banana, King of the Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

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Nov 14, 2009, 1:44:12 AM11/14/09
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Don't let the problems of the jungle affect you. Ignore the lion's
roar. Put a banana in your ear!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INsD5Yc7oCY

His Majesty Comandante Banana, King of the Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

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Nov 14, 2009, 9:08:44 AM11/14/09
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On Nov 14, 6:13 am, Mike Jones <N...@Arizona.Bay> wrote:
> Responding to Lee:
>
> [...]

>
> > Christians were never going to rate highly in Biology, it is like mixing
> > oil and water.
>
> Brilliant! :)
>
> --
> *=(http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/
> *=( For all your UK news needs.

I don't think the Christians are bound by logic.

They just beleive in things, but few dare to carry their believes into
the cage of the lion.

His Majesty Comandante Banana, King of the Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

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Nov 14, 2009, 11:29:07 AM11/14/09
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(Taming the lion is a central metaphor to the Christians, so debunking
this myth, may also mean TAMING RELIGION)

On Nov 14, 9:40 am, thea <thea.n...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Doesn't anyone remember the story of Daniel in the Lions Den?
> God closed the Lions mouths, so they could not eat Daniel to prove that the
> God of Daniel is the God of the Universe.
> My, my - and that was one of those stories that everyone thinks is not true?

But somehow God forgot to close the mouths of those lions eating
Christians at the Roman Circus. ;)

His Majesty Comandante Banana, King of the Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

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Nov 14, 2009, 3:36:50 PM11/14/09
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On Nov 14, 12:18 pm, "R Brown" <bro...@hotmail.com> wrote:

> > Just something to bear in mind when dealing with Christian lions...
>

> A Chrisitan lion simply put his paws together and says, "For what we are
> about to receive..." and then eats you anyway.

"Thank you, Lord, for providing me with this monkey," said the
Christian lion.

Teresita

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Dec 13, 2009, 10:06:52 PM12/13/09
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On Sat, 14 Nov 2009 12:36:50 -0800, His Majesty Comandante Banana, King of
the Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises wrote:

> "Thank you, Lord, for providing me with this monkey," said the
> Christian lion.

Halftime at the Cirvus Maximvs and it's Lions 325, Christians 0

--
Teresita
http://hackylinux.blogspot.com/

Earle Jones

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Dec 14, 2009, 5:45:50 PM12/14/09
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In article <pan.2009.12.14....@newsguy.com>,
Teresita <rub...@newsguy.com> wrote:

> On Sat, 14 Nov 2009 12:36:50 -0800, His Majesty Comandante Banana, King of
> the Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises wrote:
>
> > "Thank you, Lord, for providing me with this monkey," said the
> > Christian lion.
>
> Halftime at the Cirvus Maximvs and it's Lions 325, Christians 0

*
"Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian."

--Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)

earle
*

panam...@hotmail.com

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Dec 14, 2009, 10:22:32 PM12/14/09
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On Dec 14, 5:45 pm, Earle Jones <earle.jo...@comcast.net> wrote:
> In article <pan.2009.12.14.03.06.50.669...@newsguy.com>,

>
>  Teresita <ruby...@newsguy.com> wrote:
> > On Sat, 14 Nov 2009 12:36:50 -0800, His Majesty Comandante Banana, King of
> > the Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises wrote:
>
> > > "Thank you, Lord, for providing me with this monkey," said the
> > > Christian lion.
>
> > Halftime at the Cirvus Maximvs and it's Lions 325, Christians 0
>
> *
>    "Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian."
>
>          --Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)
>
> earle
> *

Joke Time!

Once upon a time, there was a good Christian American. He worked hard,
bought a house in the suburbs, stayed married "for the sake of the
children", and denied himself any of life's pleasures...except one.
During his childhood, he'd read the stories of the Great White Big
Game Hunters in Africa, and he had always wanted to be one of them.
So, he scrimped and he saved for forty years, and when he retired, he
took his savings and booked a game-hunting trip.

Walking across the savannah, he couldn't believe it! All those years
of dreaming, and now he was finally here! But then, there was a sound.
He whipped around quickly, and came face-to-face with a ferocious
lion! He reached for his rifle, but realized that he'd never been
quite able to load it. He sank to his knees, closed his eyes, bowed
his head, and began to pray. "O Lord,", he said, "Please let this
animal be a *Christian* lion."

When he raised his head and opened his eyes, he couldn't believe the
miracle before him! The lion was motionless in front of him, head
bowed, and praying! But just then, the would-be hunter recognized the
words the lion was saying..

"O Lord, for this meal we are about to recieve, we are truly
thankful..."

-Panama Floyd, Atlanta.
aa#2015, Member Knights of BAAWA!
"..the prayer cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next."
-Mark Twain

Religious societies are *less* moral than secular ones:
http://moses.creighton.edu/JRS/2005/2005-11.html

His Highness Comandante Banana, King of the Apes I & Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

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Dec 17, 2009, 5:33:48 PM12/17/09
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> Religious societies are *less* moral than secular ones:http://moses.creighton.edu/JRS/2005/2005-11.html- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

Oh that was awesome! Even among the Christians, the big fish eats the
little fish!

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