Re: Triangles & Rectangles
Dan Barkye
See my "--", below, pls.
Dan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Asc Sco" <umamahe...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1110369908.1...@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> Hi!! All
>
> I am a beginner of astrology and trying to understand the
> implication/importance/influence of Triangles & Rectangles
-- I confess that Rectangles are new to me, but they may be construed
as four Talenses - an oposition eased by a sextile and a trine to each
of the two bodies involved, by a third body.
Your ex shows it aptly.
For ex. - Ari op Lib, ahs a sext from Saag to Lib and a trine from Sag
to Ari, and so on, to form four Talenses.
Triangles are what is known as "Grand Trines", three bodies
connected/aspecting each other in an angle of arc of 120 degrees +- the
orb of aspect between the relevant bodies.
This is considered as a very beneficial configuration in the chart, but
it can also be a "lazying" inclination for the native, like too much is
given to him w/o demanding a personal conscientious effort on his part,
leading to a "sloth", LOL.
You'd be wise to add to those configs the Grand Square, four bodies
aspecting each other by a 90 degree of arc.
It's considered as very trying and demnading, but it can prompt the
native to find proactively and release a high ammount of energy toward
achieving his goals.
This, vs one having the Grand Trine, and so sitting on his --- and doing
nothing, waiting for a peeled banana to fall into his half-open mouth.
But this banana may well fall there, for the Grand Trine is quite lucky.
It depends, now, what you choose as being better, a Grand Trine or a
Grand Square.
I'd prefer a Rectangle, as you call it.
Plenty of energy potential and luck lumped together, each supplying the
proding w the incentive to act, w the good odds of fulfilling the goal.
Note that I'm not preaching for chasing obstacles b/c of the maxim
"obstacles make for growth". This is true, but I'd rather go w/o
obstacles.
But since such is not possible, I choose the right blend, IMO, of good
and bad luck, and the Rectangle looks to me as a good alternative.
>in my chart.
> I read that these are more significant if formed by fast moving
> planets
> etc.
-- Significant in having a more personal accent to it, the faster bodies
having a more personal impact on the native.
Here, the faster bodies are the seven traditional bodies, vs the
"outers", i.e., Ura, Nep and Plu.
>Any planet aspecting with one of these is >also aspected by others
> in the formation and energy is bounded by such figures. Would
> appreciate help in trying to understand these, Please indicate if some
> of the below listed aspects are minor and if they can be ignored etc.
-- None are minor. All are major - sextiles, trines, squares and
opositions.
> Rectangle:
> Neptune @ 4deg Sag (not sure if we can take conjunction with Asc @
> 26deg Sco)
-- Definitely.
The luminaries, i.e., the Sun and the Moon, and the angles, i.e., the
Asc, the MC, the Desc and the IC, have a wider orb of aspect than the
other bodies.
Also, the angles move faster than the bodies, one degree of arc in 4
minutes of time, vs ~one degree a day for the Sun, for ex., and so on w
the other bodies, faster than Sun or slower, but not significantly so
compared to the angles.
So in the case of Nep w Asc, both are moving up the sign, but the Asc is
moving much faster than Nep, so it meets him in a relatively short time.
This is why bodies in first house, or in the 12th, immediately above the
Asc, are called "rising" bodies - they "rise" above the horizon, for the
Asc *is* the horizon.
Such bodies are considered more powerful in the chart.
See a basic bk for orb of aspects.
> Mars @ 1deg Ari (not sure if we can take conjunction with Chi @ 9deg
> Ari)
> Saturn @ 0deg Gem (conjunct with Moon @ 28deg Tau)
> Pluto @ 2deg Lib
>
>
> Triangle-1:
> Venus @ 7deg Aqu (conjuct with True Node @ 5deg Aqu)
> Saturn @ 0deg Gem (conjunct with Moon @ 28deg Tau)
> Pluto @ 2deg Lib
>
>
> Triangle-2:
> Sun @ 6deg Cap
> Mars @ 1deg Ari (not sure if we can take conjunction with Chi @ 9deg
> Ari)
> Pluto @ 2deg Lib
>
>
> Triangle-3:
> Neptune @ 4deg Sag (not sure if we can take conjunction with Asc @
> 26deg Sco)
> Venus @ 7deg Aqu (conjuct with True Node @ 5deg Aqu)
> Mars @ 1deg Ari (not sure if we can take conjunction with Chi @ 9deg
> Ari)
>
>
> My Astro details:
> Umamahesh Meka
> Dec 29th 1971
> 03:36 am, Indian Standard Time
> Ramachandrapuram, India
> 82E01, 16N51 (Astro.com)
HIH,
Dan
> Thanks & Regards
> Umamahesh Meka
>
Dan Barkye
> "Dan Barkye" <db...@nospamearthlink.net> wrote in message
> news:<E9GXd.7941$603....@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net>...
> Meka is my last name, you could refer to me as Mahesh.
-- Hi, Mahesh!
Mind if we call each other by first name? I don't.
>
> For the discussion let us ignore Triangle-2,3 how do we interpret the
> Rectangle & Grand Trine in my chart
>
> Grand Trine formed between planets in three water signs:
-- Air, here, not water.
> Venus @ 7deg Aqu in 3rd (conjuct with True Node @ 5deg Aqu in 3rd)
> Saturn @ 0deg Gem in 7th (conjunct with Moon @ 28deg Tau in 7th)
> Pluto @ 2deg Lib in 11th
>
> Say a transiting planet comes in aspect with one these planets -- it
> actually makes an aspect with all the above mentioned planets (5).
-- Yes, it does.
> How do we calculate the sum of all influences and then interpret?
-- You mean calculate as "calculating"? Really assigning qunatitative
measures to the planets?
There is such a thing which was invented by The Church of Light (an
astrology school) and which is called "cosmodines" and "astrodines".
Their bks are excellent.
For ex., take a look at this: http://www.astrowin.org/cosmodyn.htm
Beside that, there is a whole "mini-science" of "dignities" (read about
this term in basic bks) and accidental strengths which the planets have
due to their position in the chart.
For ex. (one of several factors), a planet in an angular (1st, 4th, 7th
and 10th) house will be stronger than in successive (2nd, 5th, 8th and
11th) and even stronger than in cadent (3rd, 6th, 9th and 12th) and it
will be stronger in 1st and 10th then in 4th and 7th, 4th being the
weakest of angular houses.
Other than that the only thing one can do is to synthesize the factors
involved w all his ability as astrologer. It takes experience and
intuition, that is, analyze, analyze, analyze chart after chart after
chart. Not so difficult, really.
OR
> Do we have to take the most significant and go by that (in which case
> how do we narrow down the significant one).
-- Dignity, afflicted or not (bad aspected), being a ruler of a
significant pt in chart, etc.
Also, relative to issue at hand, of course.
You analyze all of them and you see which is which and one of them,
usually, is stalking its head above the others.
> Same case with the Rectangle. Actually I was so far only seeing it as
> 4-squares but after your detail notes -- I see the Sextiles & Trines
> -- Guess the Rectangle has got it all -- Sextiles, Squares & Trines.
-- No, no. In a rectangle there are not sq's, only sextiles, trines and
opositions.
Best,
Dr.Tulip
Triangle = Super luck, be certain that it's a triangle associated with major
planets.
Example: Napoleon has a triangle of (Mars - Uranus - Pluto). The tip of the
triangle also makes an important trait of the person, his Uranus pointed to
house #9.
Good luck.
"Asc Sco" <umamahe...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1110369908.1...@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
: Hi!! All
:
: I am a beginner of astrology and trying to understand the
: implication/importance/influence of Triangles & Rectangles in my chart.
:
: I read that these are more significant if formed by fast moving planets
: etc. Any planet aspecting with one of these is also aspected by others
: in the formation and energy is bounded by such figures. Would
: appreciate help in trying to understand these, Please indicate if some
: of the below listed aspects are minor and if they can be ignored etc.
:
:
: Rectangle:
: Neptune @ 4deg Sag (not sure if we can take conjunction with Asc @
: 26deg Sco)
: Mars @ 1deg Ari (not sure if we can take conjunction with Chi @ 9deg
: Ari)
: Saturn @ 0deg Gem (conjunct with Moon @ 28deg Tau)
: Pluto @ 2deg Lib
:
:
: Triangle-1:
: Venus @ 7deg Aqu (conjuct with True Node @ 5deg Aqu)
: Saturn @ 0deg Gem (conjunct with Moon @ 28deg Tau)
: Pluto @ 2deg Lib
:
:
: Triangle-2:
: Sun @ 6deg Cap
: Mars @ 1deg Ari (not sure if we can take conjunction with Chi @ 9deg
: Ari)
: Pluto @ 2deg Lib
:
:
: Triangle-3:
: Neptune @ 4deg Sag (not sure if we can take conjunction with Asc @
: 26deg Sco)
: Venus @ 7deg Aqu (conjuct with True Node @ 5deg Aqu)
: Mars @ 1deg Ari (not sure if we can take conjunction with Chi @ 9deg
: Ari)
:
:
: My Astro details:
: Umamahesh Meka
: Dec 29th 1971
: 03:36 am, Indian Standard Time
: Ramachandrapuram, India
: 82E01, 16N51 (Astro.com)
:
:
: Thanks & Regards
: Umamahesh Meka
:
Christine
"Dan Barkye" <db...@nospamearthlink.net> schreef in bericht
news:D8aYd.893$qf2...@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
> > Rectangle & Grand Trine in my chart
> >
> > Grand Trine formed between planets in three water signs:
>
> -- Air, here, not water.
>
> > Venus @ 7deg Aqu in 3rd (conjuct with True Node @ 5deg Aqu in 3rd)
> > Saturn @ 0deg Gem in 7th (conjunct with Moon @ 28deg Tau in 7th)
> > Pluto @ 2deg Lib in 11th
> >
> > Say a transiting planet comes in aspect with one these planets -- it
> > actually makes an aspect with all the above mentioned planets (5).
>
> -- Yes, it does.
>
> > How do we calculate the sum of all influences and then interpret?
>
> -- You mean calculate as "calculating"? Really assigning qunatitative
> measures to the planets?
I believe the gentleman was asking for your insights regarding an
interpretation of the meaning of his personal grand trine influence(s) when
transited by a planet, rather than any mathematical calculation.
> There is such a thing which was invented by The Church of Light (an
> astrology school) and which is called "cosmodines" and "astrodines".
> Their bks are excellent.
> For ex., take a look at this: http://www.astrowin.org/cosmodyn.htm
>
> Beside that, there is a whole "mini-science" of "dignities" (read about
> this term in basic bks) and accidental strengths which the planets have
> due to their position in the chart.
> For ex. (one of several factors), a planet in an angular (1st, 4th, 7th
> and 10th) house will be stronger than in successive (2nd, 5th, 8th and
> 11th) and even stronger than in cadent (3rd, 6th, 9th and 12th) and it
> will be stronger in 1st and 10th then in 4th and 7th, 4th being the
> weakest of angular houses.
> Other than that the only thing one can do is to synthesize the factors
> involved w all his ability as astrologer. It takes experience and
> intuition, that is, analyze, analyze, analyze chart after chart after
> chart. Not so difficult, really.
>
> OR
> > Do we have to take the most significant and go by that (in which case
> > how do we narrow down the significant one).
>
> -- Dignity, afflicted or not (bad aspected), being a ruler of a
> significant pt in chart, etc.
> Also, relative to issue at hand, of course.
> You analyze all of them and you see which is which and one of them,
> usually, is stalking its head above the others.
>
It's all very well to refer to advanced astrological jargon, but it is
evading his question and not answering what he is asking.
So after 'synthesizing the factors involved' and making use of what your
'intuition' imparts; as he requested of you, what is your 'analysis' of
transits to the trine(s) to which he referred, from which he as the beginner
he stated to be and we here, can learn from you and subsequently understand
how to synthesize astro. factors himself/ourselves?
> > Same case with the Rectangle. Actually I was so far only seeing it as
> > 4-squares but after your detail notes -- I see the Sextiles & Trines
> > -- Guess the Rectangle has got it all -- Sextiles, Squares & Trines.
>
> -- No, no. In a rectangle there are not sq's, only sextiles, trines and
> opositions.
>
> Best,
>
> Dan
> >
> > Thanks & Regards
> > Umamahesh Meka
> >
>
Christine.
Dan Barkye
Dan
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Christine" <a.h...@planet.nl> wrote in message
news:d16au5$t3t$1...@reader13.wxs.nl...
SeaGt...@aol.com
> Hi!! All
>
> I am a beginner of astrology and trying to understand the
> implication/importance/influence of Triangles & Rectangles in my
> chart.
That's a good idea, because configurations (i.e., patterns formed
between three or more planets, either by aspects or midpoint contacts)
are generally much more significant in a chart than are the individual
planetary placements or the isolated aspects (i.e., two planets in an
aspect that doesn't have any significant links to other aspects).
> I read that these are more significant if formed by fast moving
> planets etc.
That's a debatable statement. Configurations between slower moving
planets last longer, and have an impact on a larger number of people,
because there are more people born while the configuration is in orb,
given that it lasts longer; so in that sense we could say that the
configurations of the slower planets are more significant in terms of
society and world events. But faster planets have a more personalized
influence, so configurations that involve a faster planet tend to be
more significant to you as an individual, because the configuration is
present for only a few days, so fewer people have that configuration in
their charts. And a configuration involving the Moon lasts for less
than a day, so its influence is even more personally significant than a
configuration involving one of the fast planets. So it depends on your
point of view-- more significant for the world at large, versus more
significant for an individual person, if you see what I mean. In a
natal chart, the configurations or aspects or sign positions of the
slower planets tend to indicate traits that are common to a group of
people born at that time, or that reflect the "social environment" or
"peer group influences" that they were born into, whereas those of the
faster planets tend to indicate more personal traits that help to
distinguish one individual from the other people who were born around
the same time. And even the slower planets can have personal or more
individualized meanings, as indicated by their house positions.
> Any planet aspecting with one of these is also aspected by others
> in the formation and energy is bounded by such figures. Would
> appreciate help in trying to understand these, Please indicate if
> some of the below listed aspects are minor and if they can be ignored
> etc.
[snip of listed positions]
You have a "Mystic Rectangle" between Mars, Saturn, Neptune, and Pluto.
Mars opposes Pluto, which might be very stressful or intense in your
interpersonal relationships-- a potential for angry responses or, at
the least, very intense passions. Saturn opposes Neptune, which could
add an element of confusion to interpersonal relationships-- possible
misunderstandings or deceptions, perhaps the dodging or evading of
responsibilities, or fears and worries that are based more on imagining
what other people's motives might be rather than focusing on what is
definitely known, making it harder to trust other people. These are
softened or given a potential for more constructive expression by the
harmonious aspects in the "Mystic Rectangle": Mars trine Neptune,
Saturn trine Pluto, Mars sextile Saturn, and Neptune sextile Pluto.
The "Mystic Rectangle" isn't a particularly "mystical" configuration,
so I'm not too thrilled about its name, but as far as general meanings
(i.e., irrespective of the specific planets involved), it can give a
tendency to experience problems in relationships (because of the two
oppositions), followed by an ability to learn how to successfully deal
with relationship issues (because of the two trines and the two
sextiles), which can lead to a better understanding of relationships as
a whole. For example, I once participated in a dicussion about the
"Mystic Rectangle" on an astrology email list several years ago, and
one of the posters mentioned that she knew many counsellors who have
"Mystic Rectangles" in their charts. This made sense to me, because
oppositions tend to express themselves through personal interactions,
and counsellors need to interact with their clients; also, many of the
counsellors were, if I remember correctly, "experts" in the area of
relationship issues. So you could say that a "Mystic Rectangle" can
potentially contribute toward an ability for you to help guide or
advise other people (either in a professional or strictly personal
capacity), because you've been there yourself, lived through that,
found a way to deal with it, and this helps you to gain insight into
the problems that other people are having, and to give them advice on
how to deal with their issues. The planets involved in the oppositions
would suggest the kinds of problems we're talking about-- Mars and
Pluto suggesting sexual difficulties (perhaps including sexual assault,
or maybe just physical violence unrelated to sex), or Saturn and
Neptune suggesting issues related to responsibilities (or a lack of
same), unfounded or unrealistic fears (perhaps related to abandonment
issues), and possibly even problems related to alcohol or drug abuse.
So if you've experienced any problems in those areas with respect to
your interpersonal relationships, and have subsequently overcome those
problems or learned how to deal with people who had those tendencies,
then you may find that you are now able to give guidance or counsel to
other people who are caught up in similar sorts of situations, or who
are hurting because they've gone through those kinds of situations.
You also have a "Grand Trine" between Venus, Saturn, and Pluto, which
is connected with one of the trines in the "Mystic Rectangle." This
further helps to give the "Mystic Rectangle" a positive outlet, and
also helps to energize the "Grand Trine" so it doesn't degenerate or
stagnate into a complacent or lazy attitude (which is something that is
said to be a potential problem with "Grand Trines," because trines are
said to be the "easiest" aspects, and a "Grand Trine" can potentially
indicate too much ease, or too nuch of a "happy go lucky" attitude, or
too much love of ease-- all of which can depend on the planets and
signs involved in the "Grand Trine"). The additional planet is Venus,
the planet of love and appreciation, so this further suggests that your
"Mystic Rectangle" may express itself in the area of interpersonal
relationships-- especially between men (Mars) and women (Venus).
You have a "T-Square" between the Sun, Mars, and Pluto, which is
connected to one of the oppositions in the "Mystic Rectangle." The
fact that the Sun is involved suggests that the opposition will have a
significant effect in your life, because the Sun represents you as an
individual, as well as your self-image (or "ego") and self-expression.
On the one hand, you may have a very intense and passionate type of
personality, which can lead to conflicts with other people because they
feel intimidated by you, or because they would like to intimidate you
but you stand up to them instead of cowing to them. This "T-Square"
may make the "Mystic Rectangle" more difficult to deal with, because it
generally tends to aggravate or accentuate any problems that may arise
from the opposition between Mars and Pluto. As far as your Sun sign,
Capricorn tends to be a very ambitious and serious sign, and you may
find that other people sometimes want to interfere with your attempts
to get ahead in life, perhaps because they resent your ambitious
nature, or perhaps because they feel that they must compete with you,
or that you are competing with them and therefore represent a threat to
their own ambitions. Pluto can represent "power plays," or attempts to
control or dominate, so this "T-Square" may also contribute toward a
tendency to get into arguments or competitions with other people over
issues related to power struggles, or the expression of personal
control (e.g., your resistance to other people's attempts to control
you or to prevent you from being in control of yourself, or their
resistance to any attempts you might make to control them). By the
way, Mars and Pluto can be associated with crime, as well as with law
enforcement, so you might possibly find yourself attracted to a career
involving law enforcement or the investigation of crimes.
The last configuration that you've listed is a "Minor Talent Trine," or
"Lesser Trine," or "Double Sextile," between Venus, Mars, Chiron, and
Neptune. This is like a "Grand Trine," except the "apex planet" (or
the one at the midpoint of the trine) is sextile to the two ends of the
trine, rather than being trine to the two ends of the trine. Again,
this is connected with the "Mystic Rectangle," because it involves one
of the trines in the "Mystic Rectangle." This suggests two distinct
possibilities to me: interpersonal relationships between men and women,
and/or a talent for artistic or musical creative expression. Venus is
associated with art and a love of harmony, and Neptune is sometimes
associated with music and imagery, or imagination in general. Neptune
can give talent in photography and cinematography. Venus and Mars in
harmonious or "good" aspects together can indicate "sex appeal," and
Neptune can give a talent for assuming roles or "playing pretend," as
well as creating an image that captures people's imaginations, or an
image that embodies their expectations, so this configuration might
conceivably contribute toward a possible ability to be a model, or to
"strike a pose" or "play a role" that arouses interest in other people,
or that captures their attention or mesmerizes them.
> My Astro details:
> Umamahesh Meka
> Dec 29th 1971
> 03:36 am, Indian Standard Time
> Ramachandrapuram, India
> 82E01, 16N51 (Astro.com)
I wrote the preceding comments without looking at your chart. Now that
I've looked at your chart, I want to add the following brief comments.
First, Neptune in your 1st House could contribute to any interest or
ability for modeling or perhaps film acting, or otherwise "playing
pretend" or "striking a pose." It also suggests a possible interest or
talent in psychic phenomena, or the "spiritual mysteries" of life.
Neptune is in Sagittarius, which is associated with philosophy, as well
as law and the courts, so this could suggest a philosophical interest
in metaphysics, or possibly an ability for undercover detective work
(if you are inclined toward a career in law enforcement). Scorpio is
on the Ascendant, which can suggest an investigative attitude, or a
desire to dig below the surface of things and uncover secrets.
Mars in the 5th House could contribute toward creative expression,
including play-acting, or it could simply give a very passionate desire
for love and affection. Its opposition to Pluto in the 11th House
suggests that conflicts or power struggles with friends, professional
associates, or other members of any groups that you belong to, might be
possible, especially if your friends or professional associates try to
manipulate or control you, or if you try to manipulate or control them.
On a more positive note, you may find that your involvement with a
group, or with certain powerful friends, may help you to achieve
personal transformation of some kind.
The Sun in the 2nd House suggests that money is important to you, and
that you will be ambitious to attain financial or material security.
Or, if you are not particularly interested in money and possessions per
se, you may have a very strong sense of personal values, or the things
that you feel "enrich" your life. With the Sun being in Capricorn, you
may have an appreciation and respect for traditional values.
The Moon conjunct Saturn in the 7th House suggests that close personal
relationships or partnerships are important to you. You may have a
strong desire for marriage. Or, if you aren't especially interested in
marriage, you may be interested in some sort of business partnership.
The Moon in Taurus suggests a desire for financial security, so you
might be interested in marrying someone who will increase your chances
of attaining material security, or in forming a business partnership in
a money-making venture. Saturn in the 7th House can suggest marrying
later in life than is considered "normal," or marrying someone who is
older or more "mature" (meaning in their attitudes, if not in age), or
in marrying for reasons of status, or foregoing marriage in favor of
professional partnerships. Saturn opposing Neptune suggests that you
should be careful in choosing a partner, because there may be a danger
of some sort of deception, or of problems with responsibilities. This
may be lessened by the "Grand Trine" between Venus, Saturn, and Pluto--
which is actually a "Kite" when we add Neptune to it. One of my own
"takes" on the "Kite" is that the opposition gives it direction, with
one end of the opposition being the "top" or "head" of the "Kite," and
the other end of the opposition being the "tail" of the "Kite." It
isn't always a good idea to interpret configurations based on their
names or shapes, but astrology deals with symbolism, so using your
imagination to interpret the symbolic imagery can help sometimes, if
you don't get too carried away with it. In this case, Saturn is the
"tail" planet, and Neptune is the "head" of the "Kite," which suggests
the possibility that an older, or more "mature," or more responsible,
or more realistic partner (Saturn in the 7th House) may help to give
your life more stability, sort of acting as a "rudder" or "anchor" as
it were, allowing you to explore the more imaginative or fantastic
aspects of your personality (Neptune in the 1st House). That is, if
you can find a suitable spouse or business partner, they may help to
keep you on an even keel while you soar the heights or reach for the
heavens with your active imagination (the "head" of the "Kite" being
the planet which reaches upward while the "tail" keeps the "Kite"
balanced or stabilized, if you get my point).
> Say a transiting planet comes in aspect with one these planets -- it
> actually makes an aspect with all the above mentioned planets (5).
> How do we calculate the sum of all influences and then interpret? OR
> Do we have to take the most significant and go by that (in which case
> how do we narrow down the significant one).
Transiting planets will aspect the different natal planets in a certain
order, and unless the natal aspects have very tight orbs, you will
usually get only one or two of the natal planets being aspected at a
time. On the other hand, you can also use midpoints to see when a
transiting planet will activate two natal planets at the same time even
though they aren't in a tight orb. For example, a transiting planet
will aspect the Moon first, then Saturn, then Mars, then Pluto, then
Neptune, then the Sun, then Venus, then Chiron, and so on. Thus, you
would focus on the planet receiving the closest aspect at any given
time, although you can look at the sequence of transiting aspects as a
progression where one thing leads to another. Also, if you use the
midpoints (which can also be "harmonic midpoints," by which I mean the
average of two degrees irrespective of the signs involved-- such as
Pluto at 2 degrees being halfway between Saturn at 0 degrees and
Neptune at 4 degrees), then you can see when a transiting planet is
triggering two natal planets even though it isn't aspecting either one
exactly. For example, a transiting planet that's conjoining natal
Pluto at 2 Libra will be aspecting the midpoint of Saturn and Neptune,
so the transiting conjunction to Pluto will incorporate the trine to
Saturn and the sextile to Neptune to a certain extent, even though
those two transiting aspects might not be in very tight orbs when
viewed separately. Or, a transit to Mars at 1 Aries will incorporate
the transits to Saturn at 0 Gemini and to Pluto at 2 Libra. The order
of contact will suggest a flow of events, as one transiting aspect
transitions into the next aspect, and then the next, and then the next.
> I was searching for more info on Rectangles etc. and found this book:
> http://www.khaldea.com/proddesc/hha.shtml -- Part III -- Chapter 4.
> Planetary Formations.
>
> I learnt from this book that I not only have a Grand Trine and a
> Rectangle but also a T-Square (Triangle-2 mentioned above). He talks
> about these figures saying the release of this energy is from certain
> points etc. (couldn't comprehend this completely).
I haven't looked at the reference you mentioned, so I'm not sure if
this is what it meant, but aspect configurations or harmonic patterns
frequently tend to create certain points around the chart that can act
as "triggers" or "activating points." This will usually be a point
that is empty or unoccupied in the chart, but which would turn the
configuration into something else if it were occupied. A good example
of this is with a "T-Square," where three planets are spaced at about
90-degree intervals from each other (as with your Pluto, Sun, and Mars,
in that order). The planet in the middle (in your case, the Sun) is
called the "apex" planet, and the empty point which is opposite the
"apex" planet will act as a "trigger" when a transiting planet is
there, because it will turn the natal "T-Square" into a "transiting
Grand Cross." If the natal planets don't form exact aspects, then you
can take the three points that aspect each of the natal planets, and
you can also average them together, either in pairs (i.e., to get the
individual midpoints), or as a group. Using your "T-Square" as an
example, 1:22 Cancer is exactly square Mars, 2:02 Cancer is exactly
square Pluto, and 6:32 Cancer is exactly opposite the Sun, so the
entire area between 1:22 Cancer and 6:32 Cancer could act as a kind of
"trigger" for the "T-Square," but there will be peaks of activity at
the specific points mentioned (when the exact aspects are formed), as
well as at 1:42 Cancer (the Mars/Pluto midpoint), 3:57 Cancer (which
aspects the Sun/Mars midpoint), 4:17 Cancer (which aspects the
Sun/Pluto midpoint), and 3:19 Cancer (which is the average of all three
triggering points, or 1:22 plus 2:02 plus 6:32, divided by 3).
In the case of your combined "Mystic Rectangle," "Grand Trine," and
"Minor Talent Trine," the total configuration is just one planet shy of
a "Grand Sextile" or "Hexagon." That is, if there were a planet in the
vicinity of 27:52 Cancer to 9:23 Leo-- especially about halfway between
those two extremes, or around 3:33 Leo-- then it would turn that whole
configuration of planets into a "Grand Sextile." Consequently, that
area of your chart should also act as a kind of "trigger zone."
These sorts of "trigger points" or "trigger zones" can be significant
in two different ways.
First, if a transiting, progressed, or directed planet reaches that
point or enters that zone, it will tend to activate the entire aspect
configuration associated with that particular "trigger," so that you'll
tend to experience events or situations that characterize the planetary
aspects in the configuration, or that tend to evoke those kinds of
responses from you.
And second, if you interact with someone who has a natal planet or
other sensitive personal point (such as one of the chart angles) at
that position, then you may find that your relationship with that
person is strongly characterized by the meaning of the configuration
that they're activating in your chart. For example, if you interact
with someone whose Sun, or Moon, etc., is in the vicinity of 4 Cancer,
then that person will be activating your Sun-Mars-Pluto "T-Square," in
which case you may experience conflicts or issues that embody the
meanings of that "T-Square." Such a person might tend to "rub you the
wrong way," or incite you (either deliberately or unintentionally) to
display the characteristics associated with Sun square Mars, Sun square
Pluto, and Mars opposite Pluto. Or, if you interact with someone whose
Sun, or Moon, etc., is in the vicinity of 3:30 Leo, then that person
may help or incite you to display the characteristics associated with
the sextiles and trines between the Moon, Venus, Mars, Saturn, Chiron,
and Pluto. Of course, that person would also have their Sun, or Moon,
etc., in opposition to your Venus, so that opposition would also come
into play in the interaction.
A word of caution is in order here: When you are looking at planetary
configurations, it is generally best to stick to close orbs as much as
possible, otherwise you might find yourself including almost every
planet in the chart. For example, the Moon is conjunct Saturn and
opposite Neptune, whereas Chiron is trine Neptune and trine Mercury,
but the Moon is not sextile Chiron or opposite Mercury, therefore it's
questionable whether you should include the Moon, Chiron, and Mercury
in the configuration, especially since this could further lead to
including Uranus and Jupiter (because they both aspect Mercury). You
can certainly do this, and you can gain some useful information by
doing it-- especially if you're using midpoint contacts-- but you can
easily get overwhelmed by everything if you do this, particularly if
you're just getting started in your astrological studies. On the other
hand, if you focus on the configurations with the tightest orbs, and
break the more complex configurations down into smaller patterns, or
even into their individual aspects or sign/house positions, then you
can tackle the different parts of the configurations one at a time, and
worry about trying to blend them together only after you're comfortable
with interpreting the separate parts. For example, merely trying to
interpret the relatively simple "T-Square" between the Sun, Mars, and
Pluto may seem daunting to you at first, but you can start by studying
the individual aspects (Sun square Mars, Sun square Pluto, and Mars
opposite Pluto) by themselves, along with the sign positions and house
positions, and then try your hand at blending it all together.
You might want to get a good book on midpoint interpretations (the
classic reference book on the subject is "The Combination of Stellar
Influences," by Reinhold Ebertin), because the midpoint interpretations
for "Sun=Mars/Pluto," "Mars=Sun/Pluto," and "Pluto=Sun/Mars" will help
you figure out how to blend the meanings of the Sun, Mars, and Pluto.
But another word of caution is in order, because many of the meanings
you'll find in "The Combination of Stellar Influences" (or "COSI," as
it's called) tend to be rather depressing or negative-sounding. For
example, most of the midpoints that involve Venus and Saturn tend to be
interpreted as meaning "separation in love," or "disappointment in
love," or "delays in love," and so forth, which makes it sound like any
midpoint pattern involving Venus and Saturn is "bad." But if you
analyze the midpoint interpretations to see how the different keywords
for the planets are being combined to create the interpretations (i.e.,
Venus is "love," and Saturn is "separation," "disappointment," or
"delays"), then you can come up with alternative interpretations on
your own by combining some of the other keywords for those planets.
For example, Venus and Saturn might also mean "responsibility in love,"
"maturity in love," "structured artistic expression," and so forth.
Furthermore, "COSI" gives interpretations for the conjunctions, "good"
aspects, and "bad" aspects between each pair of planets or points, on
the left page that faces the more terse interpretations of the various
midpoint contacts. Thus, you can modify the meanings of the midpoint
contacts by considering the aspects involved (i.e., "positive" or
"negative"). For example, "Sun=Mars/Pluto," where Mars and Pluto are
in a "negative" aspect (e.g., a "T-Square"), must surely be different
than if Mars and Pluto are in a "positive" aspect (e.g., a "Grand
Trine" or "Minor Talent Trine"). So you can start with the given
meanings of "Sun=Mars/Pluto," and then modify those meanings depending
on whether Mars-Pluto form a "positive" or "negative" aspect.
As far as midpoints are concerned, there is another thing to consider.
The closest midpoint contact is not necessarily the one that's the most
obvious to the eye. For example, in your Sun-Mars-Pluto pattern, it's
pretty obvious that "Sun=Mars/Pluto" (meaning the Sun is at the
midpoint of Mars and Pluto, because the Sun is between the opposition
of Mars and Pluto). But in terms of the actual degrees, the closest
midpoint contact in that particular configuration is "Pluto=Sun/Mars,"
because Pluto at 2 degrees is closer to the midpoint of Mars at 1
degrees and the Sun at 6 degrees. In this case, Pluto is sesquisquare
the Sun/Mars midpoint, even though the orb is still kind of large
(midpoint contacts are usually restricted to orbs of 1 or 2 degrees, so
Pluto is about 1.5 degrees from a perfect sesquisquare to Sun/Mars).
Also, the orbs usually decrease according to the aspects-- that is, a
conjunction or opposition to a midpoint might be allowed a 2-degree
orb, but a square to the midpoint might be allowed a 1-degree orb, and
a semisquare or sesquisquare to the midpoint might be allowed only a
half-degree orb (all of this being subject to the preferences of the
astrologer, as well as the perceived significance of the particular
configuration-- that is, since in this case we're talking about a
midpoint contact between planets that form a "T-Square," which is a
pretty significant configuration, we might stretch the orbs of the
midpoint contacts accordingly). So the meaning of "Pluto=Sun/Mars" may
be more applicable to you than the meaning of "Sun=Mars/Pluto." Note
that in midpoint contacts, the "equals" sign usually means any "hard"
aspect, so "Pluto=Sun/Mars" indicates that Pluto makes a "hard" aspect
to the Sun/Mars midpoint, not necessarily just a conjunction.
And finally, even though "midpoint astrologers" generally limit the
midpoint contacts to "hard" aspects, some astrologers (of which I am
one) consider "soft" or "easy" aspects to be valid as well, at least or
especially if the aspect to the midpoint is harmonically related to the
relationship between the two "midpointed" planets. For example, if two
planets are opposite each other, and a third planet forms a trine to
one end of the opposition, and a sextile to the other end, then it
creates an "Easy Opposition" configuration. In that case, you can try
using the midpoint interpretations to help you read the configuration,
even though there is no "hard" midpoint contact involved. To give an
example from your chart, you have an "Easy Opposition" between Saturn,
Neptune, and Pluto. Within that configuration, Saturn is quincunx the
Neptune/Pluto midpoint, Neptune is trine the Saturn/Pluto midpoint, and
Pluto is semisextile or quincunx the Saturn/Neptune midpoint (Pluto is
quincunx the "near midpoint," or the point halfway along the shorter
arc between Saturn and Neptune, but semisextile the "far midpoint," or
the point halfway along the longer arc between Saturn and Neptune).
None of those constitutes a "hard" midpoint contact according to the
methods of most "midpoint astrologers." However, because these three
planets form a significant aspect pattern, we might consider each of
these midpoint contacts to be valid; and of the three, the one with the
closest orb is "Pluto=Saturn/Neptune" (because Pluto at 2 degrees is
halfway between Saturn at 0 degrees and Neptune at 4 degrees). Thus,
if you read the "COSI" interpretation of "Pluto=Saturn/Neptune," and
factor in the "positive" meanings of Saturn-Pluto and Neptune-Pluto, as
well as both the general and "negative" meanings of Saturn-Neptune (due
to the natures of the various aspects between these three planets), it
may help you to gain insight into the meaning of that particular "Easy
Opposition" in your chart.
Michael Rideout
Christine
> Why won't you do it, Christine? Maybe we'll learn from you -)
>
> Dan
>
Michael has provided an analysis that outdoes us both and from which we can
all learn :-)
What did suggest itself to me, and considering the culture into which Mahesh
was born, is that the VE-SA-PL trine could be indicative of a continuing
desire
to break away and be liberated from the traditions of 'forced relationships'
on
an intimate level. Venus in Aquarius conjunct NN is furthest in the trine
line-up, is the fastest moving planet within it, and suggests that the
independent need or desire to express one's pleasures and enjoyments freely
and as one would like, without inhibition, is well under way.
Commitment to one particular person is an enforcement (PL. in Libra) that is
automatically
regarded and undertaken through a sense of duty and obligation (MO conjunct
SA, + effect of a Sun in Capricorn). The planets concerned in the trine are
not only in air signs but
in air houses as well, which would suggest that a societal-mental rather
than physical
intimacy within a variety of relationships is more desireable. Each time the
configuration is aspected by a transit (or sec. progression, as now, with MC
conjunct Pluto), the desire to continue in this pattern will be induced.
Pluto would appear to be of great personal importance because it rules the
Ascending sign, suggestive of a great personal charisma that has power of
control over any given situation. Pluto is supposed to
destroy old patterns to regenerate new ones. In this way, could it be said
that Pluto first has to (continue to) destroy the qualities within Libra's
need regarding (intimacy within) close personal relationships, in order to
generate the
liberation and freedom one could then feel towards and within one's social
obligations.
On an everyday level and, as Michael also mentioned, justice and law and
working for the underdog came to my mind too. Mahesh possesses a strong
sense regarding the inequalities that govern life and may have strong
deep-seated feelings regarding that which is seen as 'socially
unacceptable' in some way (Black Moon Lilith in Libra) and need to undergo
social reform (conjunct Uranus). I'd think there to be a strong and almost
ruthless determination to (financially) succeed in the T-square from Pluto
to Sun-Mars. Sun rules MC. Mars, as co ruler Ascendant, is also in its own
ruling sign, Aries, in the 5th house of personal creativity and expression,
as well as the child/parent role. A very potent combination that will make
the child the man.
Imho,
Christine.
Christine
1 lb. smoked sausage
4 lemons
whole garlic
2 lb. new potatoes
4 ears corn
1 box salt
crab boil
Bring 3 gallons of water to a boil.
Add sausage, salt, crab boil, lemons and garlic.
Drop potatoes in, boil for 4 minutes.
Corn is added next, boil an additional 11 minutes.
Put the live babies into the boiling water and cover.
Boil till meat comes off easily with a fork.
Oven-Baked Baby-Back Ribs
Beef ribs or pork ribs can be used in this recipe,
and that is exactly what your dinner guests will assume!
An excellent way to expose the uninitiated to this highly misunderstood
yet succulent source of protein.
2 human baby rib racks
3 cups barbecue sauce or honey glaze (see index)
Salt
black pepper
white pepper
paprika
Remove the silverskin by loosening from the edges,
then stripping off.
Season generously, rubbing the mixture into the baby?s flesh.
Place 1 quart water in a baking pan, the meat on a wire rack.
Bake uncovered in 250° oven for 1½ hours.
When browned, remove and glaze,
return to oven and bake 20 minutes more to form a glaze.
Cut ribs into individual pieces and serve with extra sauce.
Fresh Sausage
If it becomes necessary to hide the fact that you are eating
human babies, this is the perfect solution.
But if you are still paranoid, you can substitute pork butt.
5 lb. lean chuck roast
3 lb. prime baby butt
2 tablespoons each:
salt
black, white and cayenne peppers
celery salt
garlic powder
parsley flakes
Dan Barkye
Serve on spaghetti.
Accompany with green salad, garlic bread and red wine.
Newborn Parmesan
This classic Sicilian cuisine can easily be turned into Eggplant Parmesan
If you are planning a vegetarian meal. Or you could just as well use veal -
after all, you have to be careful - Sicilians are touchy about their young
family members...
6 newborn or veal cutlets
Tomato gravy (see index)
4 cups mozzarella, 1cup parmesan, 1cup romano
Seasoned bread crumbs mixed with
parmesan
romano
salt
pepper
oregano
garlic powder
chopped parsley
Flour
eggwash (eggs and milk)
Peanut oil for frying.
Pound the cutlets.
Dredge in flour, eggs, then the bread crumb mixture.
Fry till golden brown in 350° peanut oil.
In a baking pan, place a layer of gravy,
then one of meat, gravy, and cheese.
Another layer each of meat, gravy, and cheese.
Then bake at 350° for 45 minutes.
Serve on hot pasta with romano cheese.
Southern Fried Small-fry
Tastes like fried chicken, which works just as well.
In fact you may want to practice cutting up whole chickens
for frying before you go for the real thing.
Whole chicken is much more efficient
Christine
he?s good to go)!
SIDS victim, cleaned
½ cup cooking oil
Carrots
onions
broccoli
whole cabbage
fresh green beans
potato
turnip
celery
tomato
½ stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)
Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil.
Add a little water, season, then add the carcass.
Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick.
Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock,
so that it remains boiling the whole time.
Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender
(2 hours approximately).
Continue seasoning to taste.
Before serving, add butter and pasta,
serve piping with hot bread and butter.
Offspring Rolls
Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat
(of course this can consist of chicken, beef, pork, or shrimp).
Who can resist this classic appetizer; or light lunch served with
a fresh salad? Versatility is probably this recipe?s greatest virtue,
as one can use the best part of a prime, rare, yearling, or the
morticians occasional horror: a small miracle stopped short by a
drunk driver, or the innocent victim of a drive-by shooting...
2 cups finely chopped very young human flesh
1 cup shredded cabbage
1 cup bean sprouts
5 sprigs green onion, finely chopped
5 cloves minced garlic
4-6 ounces bamboo shoots
Sherry
chicken broth
oil for deep frying (1 gallon)
Salt
pepper
soy & teriyaki
minced ginger, etc.
1 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in a little cold water
Dr.Tulip
reduce oven to 325.
Fill the pie with stew, place top crust and with a fork, seal the crusts together
then poke holes in top.
Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.
Sudden Infant Death Soup
SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup.
Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to
procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and
Asc Sco
Finally, put in the root vegetables and simmer for 15 minutes.
Allow to cool slightly.
Place the pie pan in 375 degree oven for a few minutes so bottom crust is not soggy,
Asc Sco
[...else...]
Ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters ye shall eat.
Leviticus 26:29
Roast Child with Cornbread Stuffing
Turkey may be substituted for this classic holiday feast.
Although time consuming, this dish seems to take longer than it actually does;
as the entire house is filled with such a heavenly aroma,
the waiting becomes almost unbearable.
1 whole child, cleaned and de-headed
1 batch cornbread stuffing (see index)
½ cup melted butter
Remove the giblets from the infant and set aside.
Stuff the cavity where the child?s genitals and anus were located
using ½ cup per pound of meat.
Tie the arms flat to the body, then pull the skin flaps up to close the cavity.
Now tie the thighs up tight to hold it all together.
Place breast side up in a large metal roasting pan.
Bake in 325° oven covered for 2 hours.
Remove cover, stick a cooking thermometer deep into one of the
baby?s buttocks and cook uncovered till thermometer reads 190°,
about another hour.
Pro-Choice Po-Boy
Soft-shelled crabs serve just as well in this classic southern delicacy.
The sandwich originated in New Orleans, where an ab
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Add garlic, onions and seasoning then mix well.
Add just enough water for a smooth consistency, then mix again.
Form the sausage mixture into patties or stuff into natural casings.
Stillborn Stew
By definition, this meat cannot be had altogether fresh,
but have the lifeless unfortunate available immediately after delivery,
or use high quality beef or pork roasts (it is cheaper and better to
cut up a whole roast than to buy stew meat).
1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed
¼ cup vegetable oil
2 large onions
bell pepper
celery
garlic
½ cup red wine
3 Irish potatoes
2 large carrots
This is a simple classic stew that makes natural gravy,
thus it does not have to be thickened.
Brown the meat quickly in very hot oil, remove and set aside.
Brown the onions, celery, pepper and garlic.
De-glaze with wine, return meat to the pan and season well.
Stew on low fire adding small amounts of water and
seasoning as necessary.
After at least half an hour, add the carrots and potatoes,
and simmer till root vegetables break with a fork.
Cook a fresh pot of long grained white rice.
Pre-mie Pot Pie
When working with prematurely delivered newborns (or chicken) use sherry;
red wine with beef (buy steak or roast, do not pre-boil).
Pie crust (see index)
Whole fresh pre-mie; eviscerated, head, hands and feet removed
Onions, bell pepper, celery
½ cup wine
Root vegetables of choice (turnips, carrots, potatoes, etc) cubed
Make a crust from scratch - or go shamefully to the frozen food section
of your favorite grocery and select 2 high quality pie crus
Dan Barkye
service stations.
Roast Leg of Amputee
By all means, substitute lamb or a good beef roast if the haunch
it is in any way diseased. But sometimes surgeons make mistakes,
and if a healthy young limb is at hand, then don?t hesitate to cook
it to perfection!
1 high quality limb, rack, or roast
Potatoes, carrot
Oil
celery
onions
green onions
parsley
garlic
salt, pepper, etc
2 cups beef stock
Marinate meat (optional, not necessary with better cuts).
Season liberally and lace with garlic cloves by making incisions,
and placing whole cloves deep into the meat.
Grease a baking pan, and fill with a thick bed of onions,
celery, green onions, and parsley.
Place roast on top with fat side up.
Place uncovered in 500° oven for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 325°.
Bake till medium rare (150°) and let roast rest.
Pour stock over onions and drippings, carve the meat and
place the slices in the au jus.
Bisque à l?Enfant
Honor the memory of Grandma with this dish by utilizing her good
silver soup tureen and her great grandchildren (crawfish, crab or
lobster will work just as well, however this dish is classically
made with crawfish).
Stuffed infant heads, stuffed crawfish heads, stuffed crab or lobster shells;
make patties if shell or head is not available
(such as with packaged crawfish, crab, or headless baby).
Flour
oil
onions
bell peppers
garlic salt, pepper, etc.
3 cups chicken stock
2 sticks butter
3 tablespoons oil
First stuff the heads, or make the
Dan Barkye
(there should be one lying around for reference).
Bake at 400°for about 25 minutes -
or you could fry them in olive oil.
Place the meatballs in the tomato gravy, and simmer for several hours.
Newborn Parmesan
Southern Fried Small-fry
Whole chicken is much more efficient and inexpensive than buying pieces.
1 tiny human, cut into pieces
2 cups flour
Onion, garlic
Salt
pepper
garlic powder
cayenne pepper
hot sauce, etc.
Oil for frying
Mix milk, eggs, hot sauce in a bowl, add cho
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baby?s buttocks and cook uncovered till thermometer reads 190°,
about another hour.
Pro-Choice Po-Boy
Soft-shelled crabs serve just as well in this classic southern delicacy.
The sandwich originated in New Orleans, where an abundance of abortion clinics
thrive and hot French bread is always available.
2 cleaned fetuses, head on
2 eggs
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
1 cup seasoned flour
oil enough for deep frying
1 loaf French bread
Lettuce
tomatoes
mayonnaise, etc.
Marinate the fetuses in the egg-mustard mixture.
Dredge thoroughly in flour.
Fry at 375° until crispy golden brown.
Remove and place on paper towels.
Holiday Youngster
One can easily adapt this recipe to ham, though as presented,
it violates no religious taboos against swine.
1 large toddler or small child, cleaned and de-headed
Kentucky Bourbon Sauce (see index)
1 large can pineapple slices
Whole cloves
Place him (or ham) or her in a large glass baking dish, buttocks up.
Tie with butcher string around and across so that he looks like
he?s crawling.
Glaze, then arrange pineapples and secure with cloves.
Bake uncovered in 350° oven till thermometer reaches 160°.
Cajun Babies
Just like crabs or crawfish, babies are boiled alive!
You don?t need silverware, the hot spicy meat comes off in your hands.
6 live babies
Dan Barkye
Cajun Babies
Just like crabs or crawfish, babies are boiled alive!
You don?t need silverware, the hot spicy meat comes off in your hands.
6 live babies
1 lb. smoked sausage
4 lemons
whole garlic
2 lb. new potatoes
4 ears corn
1 box salt
crab boil
Bring 3 gallons of water to a boil.
Oven-Baked Baby-Back Ribs
Fresh Sausage
brown sugar
1 teaspoon sage
2 onions
6 cloves garlic
bunch green onions, chopped
Cut the children?s butts and the beef roast into pieces
that will fit in the grinder.
Run the meat through u
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salt pepper, etc
Olive oil
breadcrumbs
Tomato Gravy (see index)
Boil the cabbage leaves for 2 minutes to soften.
In skillet, brown the meat in a little olive oil,
then add onions, peppers, and celery (all chopped finely)
and season well.
Place in a large bowl and cool.
Add seasoned breadcrumbs and a little of the tomato gravy,
enough to make the mixture pliable.
Divide the stuffing among the cabbage leaves then roll.
Place seam down in a baking pan.
Ladle tomato gravy on top,
and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.
Umbilical Cordon Bleu
Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child,
so why not consume it?
Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.
4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts)
4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese
Flour
eggwash (milk and eggs)
seasoned bread crumbs
1 onion
minced
salt
pepper
butter
olive oil
Pound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical
cords so they won?t be tough).
Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion
then fold in half, trimming neatly.
Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs;
allow to sit for a few minutes.
Sauté in butter and olive oil until golden brown,
about 6 minutes on each side.
Shish Kababes
As old as the hills, this technique has employed seafood, beef, pork, lamb,
poultry, and vegetables; just about anything can be grilled, and young humans
are no exception!
High quality marinade (Teriyaki and garlic perhaps)
1 inch cubes of tender meat, preferably from the nursery
Onions
bell peppers
Wooden or metal skewers
Marinate the meat overnight.
Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and
fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewers.
Do
Dan Barkye
Onions, bell pepper, celery
½ cup wine
Root vegetables of choice (turnips, carrots, potatoes, etc) cubed
Make a crust from scratch - or go shamefully to the frozen food section
of your favorite grocery and select 2 high quality pie crusts (you
will need one for the top also).
Boil the prepared delicacy until the meat starts to come off the bones.
Remove, de-bone and cube; continue to reduce the broth.
Brown the onions, peppers and celery.
Add the meat then season, continue browning.
De-glaze with sherry, add the reduced broth.
Asc Sco
morticians occasional horror: a small miracle stopped short by a
drunk driver, or the innocent victim of a drive-by shooting...
2 cups finely chopped very young human flesh
1 cup shredded cabbage
1 cup bean sprouts
5 sprigs green onion, finely chopped
5 cloves minced garlic
4-6 ounces bamboo shoots
Sherry
chicken broth
oil for deep frying (1 gallon)
Salt
pepper
soy & teriyaki
minced ginger, etc.
1 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in a little cold water
1 egg beaten
Make the stuffing:
Marinate the flesh in a mixture of soy and teriyaki sauces
then stir fry in hot oil for till brown - about 1 minute, remove.
Stir-fry the vegetables.
Put the meat back into the wok and adjust the seasoning.
De-glaze with sherry, cooking off the alcohol.
Add broth (optional) cook a few more minutes.
Add the cornstarch, cook a few minutes till thick,
then place the stuffing into a colander and cool;
2 hours
Wrap the rolls:
Place 3
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Bran muffins, dinner rolls, soft breadsticks, rice pilaf, croissants
Apple cake with rum sauce, frosted banana nut bread sherbet, home made brownies
Iced tea, water, beer, bloody marys, lemonade, coffee
The guests select food, beverages, silverware... everything from the buffet table.
They move to wherever they are comfortable, and sit with whoever they choose.
Provide trays so your guests will not spill everything all over your house from
carrying too much, nor will they have to make 10 trips back and fourth from the
Dr.Tulip
Asc Sco
2 hours
Wrap the rolls:
corner nearest you first, fold 2 side corners in,
wrap till remaining corner is left.
Brush with egg, seal, and allow to sit on the seal for
a few minutes.
Fry the rolls:
325° if using egg roll wraps, 350° for spring roll wraps.
Deep fry in peanut oil till crispy golden brown, drain on paper towels.
Lemon Neonate
Turkey serves just as well, and in fact even looks a bit like a
well-dressed baby. By the time you turn the child?s breast into
cutlets, it will be indistinguishable. The taste of young human,
although similar to turkey (and chicken) often can be wildly
different depending upon what he or she has consumed during its
10 to 14 months of life...
4 well chosen cutlets (from the breasts of 2 healthy neonates)
2 large lemons (fresh lemons always, if possible)
Olive oil
Green onions
Salt
pepper
cornstarch
neonate stock (chicken, or turkey stock is fine)
garlic
parsley
fresh cracked black pepper
Season and sauté the cutlets in olive oil till golden brown, remove.
Add the garlic and onions and cook down a bit.
Add some lemon juice and some zest, then de-glaze with stock.
Add a little cornstarch (dissolved in cold water) to the sauce.
You are just about there, Pour the sauce over the cutlets,
top with parsley, lemon slices and cracked pepper.
Serve with spinach salad, macaroni and cheese (homemade) and iced tea...
Spaghetti with Real Italian Meatballs
If you don?t have an expendable bambino on hand,
you can use a pound of ground pork instead.
The secret to great meatballs, is to use very lean meat.
1 lb. ground flesh; human or p
Christine
lobster will work just as well, however this dish is classically
made with crawfish).
Stuffed infant heads, stuffed crawfish heads, stuffed crab or lobster shells;
make patties if shell or head is not available
(such as with packaged crawfish, crab, or headless baby).
Flour
oil
onions
bell peppers
garlic salt, pepper, etc.
3 cups chicken stock
2 sticks butter
3 tablespoons oil
First stuff the heads, or make the patties (see index)
then fry or bake.
Set aside to drain on paper towels.
Make a roux with butter, oil and flour,
brown vegetables in the roux, then add chicken stock and
allow to simmer for 20 minutes.
Add the patties or stuffed heads, and some loose crawfish,
lobster, long piglet, or what have you.
Cook on low for 15 minutes, then allow it to set for at least
15 minutes more.
Serve over steamed rice; this dish is very impressive!
Stuffed Cabbage Rolls
Babies really can be found under a cabbage leaf -
or one can arrange for ground beef to be found there instead.
8 large cabbage leaves
1 lb. lean ground newborn human filets, or ground chuck
Onions
peppers
celery
garlic
soy sauce
salt pepper, etc
Olive oil
breadcrumbs
Tomato Gravy (see index)
Boil the cabbage leaves for 2 minutes to soften.
In skillet, brown the meat in a little olive oil,
Dan Barkye
SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup.
Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to
procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and
he?s good to go)!
SIDS victim, cleaned
½ cup cooking oil
Carrots
onions
broccoli
whole cabbage
fresh green beans
potato
turnip
celery
tomato
½ stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)
Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil.
Add a little water, season, then add the carcass.
Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick.
Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock,
so that it remains boiling the whole time.
Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender
(2 hours approximately).
Continue seasoning to taste.
Before serving, add butter and pasta,
serve piping with hot bread and butter.
Offspring Rolls
Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat
(of course this can consist of chicken, beef, pork, or shrimp).
Who can resist this classic appetizer; or light lunch served with
a fresh salad? Versatility is probably this recipe?s greatest virtue,
as one can use the best part of a prime, rare, yearling, or the
Christine
Now tie the thighs up tight to hold it all together.
Place breast side up in a large metal roasting pan.
Bake in 325° oven covered for 2 hours.
Pro-Choice Po-Boy
Holiday Youngster
Christine
garlic
soy sauce
salt pepper, etc
Olive oil
breadcrumbs
Tomato Gravy (see index)
Boil the cabbage leaves for 2 minutes to soften.
In skillet, brown the meat in a little olive oil,
then add onions, peppers, and celery (all chopped finely)
and season well.
Place in a large bowl and cool.
Add seasoned breadcrumbs and a little of the tomato gravy,
enough to make the mixture pliable.
Divide the stuffing among the cabbage leaves then roll.
Place seam down in a baking pan.
Ladle tomato gravy on top,
and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.
Umbilical Cordon Bleu
Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child,
Dan Barkye
lobster, long piglet, or what have you.
Cook on low for 15 minutes, then allow it to set for at least
15 minutes more.
Serve over steamed rice; this dish is very impressive!
Stuffed Cabbage Rolls
Babies really can be found under a cabbage leaf -
or one can arrange for ground beef to be found there instead.
8 large cabbage leaves
1 lb. lean ground newborn human filets, or ground chuck
Onions
peppers
Christine
Make the stuffing:
Marinate the flesh in a mixture of soy and teriyaki sauces
then stir fry in hot oil for till brown - about 1 minute, remove.
Stir-fry the vegetables.
Put the meat back into the wok and adjust the seasoning.
De-glaze with sherry, cooking off the alcohol.
Add broth (optional) cook a few more minutes.
Add the cornstarch, cook a few minutes till thick,
Asc Sco
Dr.Tulip
Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion
then fold in half, trimming neatly.
Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs;
allow to sit for a few minutes.
about 6 minutes on each side.
Shish Kababes
As old as the hills, this technique has employed seafood, beef, pork, lamb,
poultry, and vegetables; just about anything can be grilled, and young humans
are no exception!
High quality marinade (Teriyaki and garlic perhaps)
1 inch cubes of tender meat, preferably from the nursery
Onions
bell peppers
Wooden or metal skewers
Marinate the meat overnight.
Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and
fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewers.
Don?t be afraid to use a variety of meats.
Grill to medium rare,
serve with garlic cous-cous and sautéed asparagus.
Coffee and sherbet for desert then walnuts, cheese, and port.
Cigars for the gentlemen (and ladies if they so desire)!
Crock-Pot Crack Baby
When the quivering, hopelessly addicted crack baby succumbs to death,
get him immediately butchered and into the crock-pot, so that any
remaining toxins will not be fatal. But don?t cook it too long,
because like Blowfish, there is a perfect medium between the poisonous
and the stimulating. Though it may not have the same effect on your
guests, a whole chicken cooked in this fashion is also mighty tasty.
1 newborn - cocaine addicted, freshly expired, cleaned and butchered
Carrots
onions
leeks
celery
bell pepper
potatoes
Salt
pepper
garlic, etc
4 cups water
Cut the meat into natural pieces and brown very well in olive oil,
remove, then brown half of
Asc Sco
as one can use the best part of a prime, rare, yearling, or the
morticians occasional horror: a small miracle stopped short by a
drunk driver, or the innocent victim of a drive-by shooting...
2 cups finely chopped very young human flesh
1 cup shredded cabbage
1 cup bean sprouts
5 sprigs green onion, finely chopped
5 cloves minced garlic
4-6 ounces bamboo shoots
Sherry
chicken broth
oil for deep frying (1 gallon)
Salt
pepper
soy & teriyaki
minced ginger, etc.
1 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in a little cold water
1 egg beaten
Lemon Neonate
well-dressed baby. By the time you turn the child?s breast into
cutle
Dan Barkye
Roast Leg of Amputee
Bisque à l?Enfant
silver soup tureen and her great grandchildren (crawfish, crab or
Asc Sco
De-glaze with sherry, cooking off the alcohol.
Add broth (optional) cook a few more minutes.
Add the cornstarch, cook a few minutes till thick,
then place the stuffing into a colander and cool;
2 hours
Wrap the rolls:
Place 3 tablespoons of stuffing in the wrap, roll tightly -
corner nearest you first, fold 2 side corners in,
wrap till remaining corner is left.
Brush with egg, seal, and allow to sit on the seal for
a few minutes.
Fry the rolls:
325° if using egg roll wraps, 350° for spring roll wraps.
Deep fry in peanut oil till crispy golden brown, drain on paper towels.
Lemon Neonate
Turkey serves just as well, and in fact even looks a bit like a
well-dressed baby. By the time you turn the child?s breast into
Dan Barkye
Bébé Buffet 1
Show off with whole roasted children replete with apples in mouths -
and babies? heads stuffed with wild rice. Or keep it simple with a
hearty main course such as stew, lasagna, or meat loaf.
Some suggestions
Pre-mie pot pies, beef stew, leg of lamb, stuffed chicken, roast pork spiral ham,
Cranberry pineapple salad, sweet potatoes in butter, vegetable platter, tossed salad with tomato and avocado, parsley new potatoes, spinich cucumber salad, fruit salad
Bran muffins, dinner rolls, soft breadsticks, rice pilaf, croissants
Apple cake with rum sauce, frosted banana nut bread sherbet, home made brownies
Iced tea, water, beer, bloody marys, lemonade, coffee
The guests select food, beverages, silverware... everything from the buffet table.
They move to wherever they are comfortable, and sit with whoever they choose.
Asc Sco
5 cloves minced garlic
4-6 ounces bamboo shoots
Sherry
chicken broth
oil for deep frying (1 gallon)
Salt
pepper
soy & teriyaki
minced ginger, etc.
1 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in a little cold water
1 egg beaten
Make the stuffing:
Marinate the flesh in a mixture of soy and teriyaki sauces
then stir fry in hot oil for till brown - about 1 minute, remove.
Stir-fry the vegetables.
Put the meat back into the wok and adjust the seasoning.
Asc Sco
then fry or bake.
Set aside to drain on paper towels.
brown vegetables in the roux, then add chicken stock and
allow to simmer for 20 minutes.
Dan Barkye
Sudden Infant Death Soup
Offspring Rolls
a fresh salad? Versatility is probably this recipe?s greatest virtue,
Asc Sco
Fresh Sausage
Run the meat through using a 3/16 grinding plate.
Add garlic, onions and seasoning then mix well.
Add just enough water for a smooth consistency, then mix again.
Form the sausage mixture into patties or stuff into natural casings.
Stillborn Stew
By definition, this meat cannot be had altogether fresh,
but have the lifeless unfortunate available immediately after delivery,
or use high quality beef or pork roasts (it is cheaper and better to
cut up a whole roast than to buy stew meat).
Dan Barkye
Bell pepper
onions
garlic
ginger
salt pepper, etc.
Olive oil
butter
Brown the meat and some chopped onions, peppers, and garilic in olive oil,
place in baking dish, layer with vegetables seasoning and butter.
Bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.
Serve with hot dinner rolls, fruit salad and sparkling water.
Asc Sco
but have the lifeless unfortunate available immediately after delivery,
or use high quality beef or pork roasts (it is cheaper and better to
cut up a whole roast than to buy stew meat).
1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed
¼ cup vegetable oil
2 large onions
bell pepper
celery
garlic
½ cup red wine
3 Irish potatoes
2 large carrots
This is a simple classic stew that makes natural gravy,
thus it does not have to be thickened.
Brown the meat quickly in very hot oil, remove and set aside.
Brown the onions, celery, pepper and garlic.
De-glaze with wine, return meat to the pan and season well.
Stew on low fire adding small amounts of water and
seasoning as necessary.
After at least half an hour, add the carrots and potatoes,
and simmer till root vegetables break with a fork.
Cook a fresh pot of long grained white rice.
Pre-mie Pot Pie
When working with prematurely delivered newborns (or chicken) use sherry;
red wine with beef (buy steak or roast, do not pre-boil).
Pie crust (see index)
Whole fresh pre-mie; eviscerated, head, hands and feet removed
Asc Sco
2 cups finely chopped very young human flesh
1 cup shredded cabbage
1 cup bean sprouts
Dr.Tulip
Add the cornstarch, cook a few minutes till thick,
then place the stuffing into a colander and cool;
2 hours
Wrap the rolls:
Place 3 tablespoons of stuffing in the wrap, roll tightly -
corner nearest you first, fold 2 side corners in,
wrap till remaining corner is left.
Brush with egg, seal, and allow to sit on the seal for
a few minutes.
Fry the rolls:
325° if using egg roll wraps, 350° for spring roll wraps.
Deep fry in peanut oil till crispy golden brown, drain on paper towels.
Lemon Neonate
Turkey serves just as well, and in fact even looks a bit like a
well-dressed baby. By the time you turn the child?s breast into
cutlets, it will be indistinguishable. The taste of young human,
although similar to turkey (and chicken) often can be wildly
different depending upon what he or she has consumed during its
10 to 14 months of life...
4 well chosen cutlets (from the breasts of 2 healthy neonates)
2 large lemons (fresh lemons always, if possible)
Olive oil
Green onions
Salt
pepper
cornstarch
neonate stock (chicken, or turkey stock is fine)
garlic
parsley
fresh cracked black pepper
Season and sauté the cutlets in olive oil till golden brown, remove.
Add the garlic and onions and cook down a bit.
Add some lemon juice and some zest, then de-glaze with stock.
Add a little cornstarch (dissolved in cold water) to the sauce.
You are just about there, Pour the sauce over the cutlets,
top with parsley, lemon slices and cracked pepper.
Serve with spinach salad, macaroni and cheese (homemade) and iced tea...
Spaghetti with Real Italian Meatballs
If you don?t have an expendable bambino on hand,
you can use a pound of ground pork instead.
The secret to great meatballs, is to use very lean meat.
1 lb. ground flesh; human or po
Christine
and that is exactly what your dinner guests will assume!
An excellent way to expose the uninitiated to this highly misunderstood
yet succulent source of protein.
Dan Barkye
Christine
Southern Fried Small-fry
In fact you may want to practice cutting up whole chickens
for frying before you go for the real thing.
Whole chicken is much more efficient and inexpensive than buying pieces.
1 tiny human, cut into pieces
2 cups flour
Onion, garlic
Salt
pepper
garlic powder
cayenne pepper
hot sauce, etc.
Oil for frying
Mix milk, eggs, hot sauce in a bowl, add chopped onion and garlic.
Season the meat liberally, and marinate for several hours.
Place seasoned flour in a paper or plastic shopping bag,
drop pieces in a few a time, shake to coat thoroughly,
then deep fry in hot oil (350°) for about 15 minutes.
Drain and place on paper towels.
Miscarriage with Mustard Greens
Why waste it? Otherwise, and in general, use ham or salt pork to season greens.
The technique of smothering greens can be used with many vegetables;
green beans work especially well. Meat is not necessary every d
Christine
Pre-mie Pot Pie
Fill the pie with stew, place top crust and with a fork, seal the crusts together
then poke holes in top.
Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.
Christine
Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender
(2 hours approximately).
Continue seasoning to taste.
Before serving, add butter and pasta,
serve piping with hot bread and butter.
Offspring Rolls
Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat
(of course this can consist of chicken, beef, pork, or shrimp).
Who can resist this classic appetizer; or light lunch served with
a fresh salad? Versatility is probably this recipe?s greatest virtue,
as one can use the best part of a prime, rare, yearling, or the
morticians occasional horror: a small miracle stopped short by a
drunk driver, or the innocent victim of a drive-by shooting...
2 cups finely chopped very young human flesh
1 cup shredded cabbage
1 cup bean sprouts
5 sprigs green onion, finely chopped
5 cloves minced garlic
4-6 ounces bamboo shoots
Sherry
chicken broth
oil for deep frying (1 gallon)
Salt
pepper
soy & teriyaki
minced ginger, etc.
1 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in a little cold water
1 egg beaten
Make the stuffing:
Marinate the flesh in a mixture of soy and teriyaki sauces
then stir fry in hot oil for till brown - about 1 minute, remove.
Stir-fry the vegetables.
Put the meat back into the wok and adjust the seasoning.
De-glaze with sherry, cooking off the alcohol.
Add broth (optional) cook a few more minutes.
Add t
Dr.Tulip
Crock-Pot Crack Baby
remove, then brown half of the onions, the bell pepper, and celery.
When brown, mix everything into the crock-pot, and in 6 to 8 hours you
have turned a hopeless tragedy into a heartwarming meal!
George?s Bloody Mary
Don?t shy away from this one, it is simply a cocktail variation of
good old Blood Stew. When a pig is killed, its throat is slit and
those present quaff a cup of hot blood to soften the wintry air.
From the dawn of man to this day, humans have always drunk blood!
American deer hunters are a prime example.
1 pint blood
Stolichnaya vodka
ice
tomato juice
lemon
lime
hot sauce
Worcesters
Asc Sco
Stuffed Cabbage Rolls
Babies really can be found under a cabbage leaf -
or one can arrange for ground beef to be found there instead.
8 large cabbage leaves
1 lb. lean ground newborn human filets, or ground chuck
Onions
peppers
celery
garlic
soy sauce
salt pepper, etc
Olive oil
breadcrumbs
Tomato Gravy (see index)
Boil the cabbage leaves for 2 minutes to soften.
In skillet, brown the meat in a little olive oil,
then add onions, peppers, and celery (all chopped finely)
and season well.
Place in a large bowl and cool.
Add seasoned breadcrumbs and a little of the tomato gravy,
enough to make the mixture pliable.
Divide the stuffing among the cabbage leaves then roll.
Place seam down in a baking pan.
Ladle tomato gravy on top,
and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.
Umbilical Cordon Bleu
Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child,
so why not consume it?
Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.
4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts)
4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese
Flour
eggwash (milk and eggs)
seasoned bread crumbs
1 onion
minced
salt
pepper
butter
olive oil
Pound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical
Asc Sco
De-glaze with sherry, cooking off the alcohol.
Add broth (optional) cook a few more minutes.
Asc Sco
human babies, this is the perfect solution.
But if you are still paranoid, you can substitute pork butt.
5 lb. lean chuck roast
3 lb. prime baby butt
2 tablespoons each:
salt
black, white and cayenne peppers
celery salt
garlic powder
parsley flakes
brown sugar
1 teaspoon sage
2 onions
6 cloves garlic
bunch green onions, chopped
Cut the children?s butts and the beef roast into pieces
that will fit in the grinder.
Run the meat through using a 3/16 grinding plate.
Add garlic, onions and seasoning then mix well.
Add just enough water for a smooth consistency, then mix again.
Form the sausage mixture into patties or stuff into natural casings.
Stillborn Stew
By definition, this meat cannot be had altogether fresh,
but have the lifeless unfortunate available immediately after delivery,
or use high quality beef or pork roasts (it is cheaper and better to
cut up a whole roast than to buy stew meat).
1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed
¼ cup vegetable oil
2 large onions
bell pepper
celery
garlic
½ cup red wine
3 Irish potatoes
2 large carrots
This is a simple classic stew that makes natural gravy,
Asc Sco
(carrots, potatoes, turnips, cauliflower, cabbage...)
Bébé Buffet 1
Some suggestions
Roast Leg of Amputee
Dan Barkye
1 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in a little cold water
1 egg beaten
Make the stuffing:
Marinate the flesh in a mixture of soy and teriyaki sauces
then stir fry in hot oil for till brown - about 1 minute, remove.
Stir-fry the vegetables.
Put the meat back into the wok and adjust the seasoning.
Dan Barkye
Smother slowly for at least 2 hours, adding small amounts of water
when it starts to stick.
Stir frequently.
When ready - serve with rice, grilled smoked sausage, green salad, and iced tea.
Coffee and apple pie then brandy.
Maternity Ward Pot Luck Dinner
If you can?t get anything fresh from the hospital, nursery, or morgue;
you can at least get rid of all the leftovers in your refrigerator.
1 - 2 lbs. cubed meat (human flesh, chicken, turkey, beef...)
1 -2 lbs. coarsely chopped vegetables
Asc Sco
Pound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical
cords so they won?t be tough).
Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion
then fold in half, trimming neatly.
Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs;
allow to sit for a few minutes.
Sauté in butter and olive oil until golden brown,
about 6 minutes on each side.
Shish Kababes
As old as the hills, this technique has employed seafood, beef, pork, lamb,
poultry, and vegetables; just about anything can be grilled, and young humans
are no exception!
High quality marinade (Teriyaki and garlic perhaps)
1 inch cubes of tender meat, preferably from the nursery
Onions
bell peppers
Wooden or metal skewers
Marinate the meat overnight.
Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and
Asc Sco
Place seam down in a baking pan.
Ladle tomato gravy on top,
and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.
Umbilical Cordon Bleu
Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child,
so why not consume it?
Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.
4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts)
4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese
Flour
eggwash (milk and eggs)
seasoned bread crumbs
1 onion
minced
salt
pepper
butter
olive oil
Asc Sco
thrive and hot French bread is always available.
2 cleaned fetuses, head on
2 eggs
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
1 cup seasoned flour
oil enough for deep frying
1 loaf French bread
Lettuce
tomatoes
mayonnaise, etc.
Marinate the fetuses in the egg-mustard mixture.
Dredge thoroughly in flour.
Fry at 375° until crispy golden brown.
Remove and place on paper towels.
Holiday Youngster
One can easily adapt this recipe to ham, though as presented,
it violates no religious taboos against swine.
1 large toddler or small child, cleaned and de-headed
Kentucky Bourbon Sauce (see index)
1 large can pineapple slices
Whole cloves
Place him (or ham) or her in a large glass baking dish, buttocks up.
Tie with butcher string around and across so that he looks like
he?s crawling.
Glaze, then arrange pineapples and secure with cloves.
Bake uncovered in 350° oven till thermometer reaches 160°.
Cajun Babies
Just like crabs or crawfish, babies are boiled alive!
You don?t need silverware, the hot spicy meat comes off in your hands.
6 live babies
1 lb. smoked sausage
4 lemons
whole garlic
2 lb. new potatoes
4 ears corn
1 box salt
crab boil
Bring 3 gallons of water to a boil.
Add sausage, salt, crab boil, lemons and garlic.
Drop potatoes in, boil for 4 minutes.
Corn is added next, boil an additional 11 minutes.
Put the live babies into the boiling water and cover.
Boil till meat comes off easily with a fork.
Oven-Baked Baby-Back Ribs
Beef ribs or pork ribs can be used in this recipe,
Dan Barkye
place the slices in the au jus.
Bisque à l?Enfant
Honor the memory of Grandma with this dish by utilizing her good
silver soup tureen and her great grandchildren (crawfish, crab or
lobster will work just as well, however this dish is classically
made with crawfish).
Stuffed infant heads, stuffed crawfish heads, stuffed crab or lobster shells;
make patties if shell or head is not available
(such as with packaged crawfish, crab, or headless baby).
Flour
oil
onions
bell peppers
garlic salt, pepper, etc.
3 cups chicken stock
2 sticks butter
3 tablespoons oil
Dr.Tulip
well-dressed baby. By the time you turn the child?s breast into
although similar to turkey (and chicken) often can be wildly
different depending upon what he or she has consumed during its
10 to 14 months of life...
4 well chosen cutlets (from the breasts of 2 healthy neonates)
2 large lemons (fresh lemons always, if possible)
Olive oil
Green onions
Salt
pepper
cornstarch
neonate stock (chicken, or turkey stock is fine)
garlic
parsley
Asc Sco
as one can use the best part of a prime, rare, yearling, or the
morticians occasional horror: a small miracle stopped short by a
drunk driver, or the innocent victim of a drive-by shooting...
2 cups finely chopped very young human flesh
1 cup shredded cabbage
1 cup bean sprouts
5 sprigs green onion, finely chopped
5 cloves minced garlic
4-6 ounces bamboo shoots
Sherry
chicken broth
oil for deep frying (1 gallon)
Salt
pepper
soy & teriyaki
minced ginger, etc.
Dan Barkye
Stillborn Stew
Christine
Shish Kababes
Coffee and sherbet for desert then walnuts, cheese, and port.
Cigars for the gentlemen (and ladies if they so desire)!
Crock-Pot Crack Baby
When the quivering, hopelessly addicted crack baby succumbs to death,
Christine
1 tiny human, cut into pieces
2 cups flour
Onion, garlic
Salt
pepper
garlic powder
cayenne pepper
hot sauce, etc.
Oil for frying
Mix milk, eggs, hot sauce in a bowl, add chopped onion and garlic.
Season the meat liberally, and marinate for several hours.
Place seasoned flour in a paper or plastic shopping bag,
drop pieces in a few a time, shake to coat thoroughly,
then deep fry in hot oil (350°) for about 15 minutes.
Drain and place on paper towels.
Miscarriage with Mustard Greens
Why waste it? Otherwise, and in general, use ham or salt pork to season greens.
The technique of smothering greens can be used with many vegetables;
green beans work especially well. Meat is not necessary every day, don?t
be afraid to alter any dish to vegetarian tastes.
1 premature baby, born dead
Large bunch of mustard greens
2 white onions, 1 cup chopped celery
Vegetable oil (or hog fat)
Salt, pepper, garlic, etc.
Lightly brown onions, celery, garlic and meat in large heavy pot.
Add a little water and the greens (which should be thoroughly cleaned and washed).
Christine
½ cup melted butter
Remove the giblets from the infant and set aside.
Stuff the cavity where the child?s genitals and anus were located
using ½ cup per pound of meat.
Tie the arms flat to the body, then pull the skin flaps up to close the cavity.
Now tie the thighs up tight to hold it all together.
Place breast side up in a large metal roasting pan.
Bake in 325° oven covered for 2 hours.
Remove cover, stick a cooking thermometer deep into one of the
baby?s buttocks and cook uncovered till thermometer reads 190°,
about another hour.
Pro-Choice Po-Boy
Soft-shelled crabs serve just as well in this classic southern delicacy.
Asc Sco
Place uncovered in 500° oven for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 325°.
Bake till medium rare (150°) and let roast rest.
Pour stock over onions and drippings, carve the meat and
Bisque à l?Enfant
15 minutes more.
Serve over steamed rice; this dish is very impressive!
Christine
Roast Leg of Amputee
Season liberally and lace with garlic cloves by making incisions,
and placing whole cloves deep into the meat.
Grease a baking pan, and fill with a thick bed of onions,
celery, green onions, and parsley.
Dr.Tulip
drop pieces in a few a time, shake to coat thoroughly,
then deep fry in hot oil (350°) for about 15 minutes.
Drain and place on paper towels.
Miscarriage with Mustard Greens
Why waste it? Otherwise, and in general, use ham or salt pork to season greens.
The technique of smothering greens can be used with many vegetables;
green beans work especially well. Meat is not necessary every day, don?t
be afraid to alter any dish to vegetarian tastes.
1 premature baby, born dead
Large bunch of mustard greens
2 white onions, 1 cup chopped celery
Vegetable oil (or hog fat)
Salt, pepper, garlic, etc.
Lightly brown onions, celery, garlic and meat in large heavy pot.
Add a little water and the greens (which should be thoroughly cleaned and washed).
Smother slowly for at least 2 hours, adding small amounts of water
when it starts to stick.
Stir frequently.
When ready - serve with rice, grilled smoked sausage, green salad, and iced tea.
Coffee and apple pie then brandy.
Maternity Ward Pot Luck Dinner
Dan Barkye
seasoned bread crumbs
Shish Kababes
Crock-Pot Crack Baby
Asc Sco
Serve with spinach salad, macaroni and cheese (homemade) and iced tea...
Spaghetti with Real Italian Meatballs
If you don?t have an expendable bambino on hand,
you can use a pound of ground pork instead.
The secret to great meatballs, is to use very lean meat.
1 lb. ground flesh; human or pork
3 lb. ground beef
1 cup finely chopped onions
7 - 12 cloves garlic
1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
½ cup milk, 2 eggs
Oregano
basil
salt
pepper
Italian seasoning, etc.
Tomato gravy (see index)
Fresh or at least freshly cooked spaghetti or other pasta
Mix the ground meats together in a large bowl,
then mix each of the other ingredients.
Make balls about the size of a baby?s fist
(there should be one lying around for reference).
Bake at 400°for about 25 minutes -
or you could fry them in olive oil.
Place the meatballs in the tomato gravy, and simmer for several hours.
Serve on spaghetti.
Accompany with green salad, garlic bread and red wine.
Newborn Parmesan
This classic Sicilian cuisine can easily be turned into Eggplant Parmesan
If you are planning a vegetarian meal. Or you could just as well use veal -
after all, you have to be careful - Sicilians are touchy about their young
family members...
6 newborn or veal cutlets
Tomato gravy (see index)
4 cups mozzarella, 1cup parmesan, 1cup romano
Se
Asc Sco
1 - 2 lbs. cubed meat (human flesh, chicken, turkey, beef...)
1 -2 lbs. coarsely chopped vegetables
(carrots, potatoes, turnips, cauliflower, cabbage...)
Bell pepper
onions
garlic
ginger
salt pepper, etc.
Olive oil
butter
Brown the meat and some chopped onions, peppers, and garilic in olive oil,
place in baking dish, layer with vegetables seasoning and butter.
Bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.
Serve with hot dinner rolls, fruit salad and sparkling water.
Bébé Buffet 1
Show off with whole roasted children replete with apples in mouths -
and babies? heads stuffed with wild rice. Or keep it simple with a
hearty main course such as stew, lasagna, or meat loaf.
Some suggestions
Pre-mie pot pies, beef stew, leg of lamb, stuffed chicken, roast pork spiral ham,
Dan Barkye
Some suggestions
Pre-mie pot pies, beef stew, leg of lamb, stuffed chicken, roast pork spiral ham,
Cranberry pineapple salad, sweet potatoes in butter, vegetable platter, tossed salad with tomato and avocado, parsley new potatoes, spinich cucumber salad, fruit salad
Bran muffins, dinner rolls, soft breadsticks, rice pilaf, croissants
Apple cake with rum sauce, frosted banana nut bread sherbet, home made brownies
Iced tea, water, beer, bloody marys, lemonade, coffee
The guests select food, beverages, silverware... everything from the buffet table.
They move to wherever they are comfortable, and sit with whoever they choose.
Provide trays so your guests will not spill everything all over your house from
carrying too much, nor will they have to make 10 trips back and fourth from the
service stations.
Roast Leg of Amputee
By all means, substitute lamb or a good beef roast if the haunch
Dan Barkye
Shish Kababes
Crock-Pot Crack Baby
remove, then brown half of the onions, the bell pepper, and celery.
When brown, mix everything into the crock-pot, and in 6 to 8 hours you
have turned a hopeless tragedy into a heartwarming meal!
George?s Bloody Mary
Don?t
Asc Sco
(2 hours approximately).
Continue seasoning to taste.
Before serving, add butter and pasta,
serve piping with hot bread and butter.
Offspring Rolls
Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat
(of course this can consist of chicken, beef, pork, or shrimp).
Who can resist this classic appetizer; or light lunch served with
a fresh salad? Versatility is probably this recipe?s greatest virtue,
Asc Sco
Place seasoned flour in a paper or plastic shopping bag,
then deep fry in hot oil (350°) for about 15 minutes.
Drain and place on paper towels.
Miscarriage with Mustard Greens
Why waste it? Otherwise, and in general, use ham or salt pork to season greens.
The technique of smothering greens can be used with many vegetables;
green beans work especially well. Meat is not necessary every day, don?t
be afraid to alter any dish to vegetarian tastes.
1 premature baby, born dead
Large bunch of mustard greens
2 white onions, 1 cup chopped celery
Vegetable oil (or hog fat)
Salt, pepper, garlic, etc.
Lightly brown onions, celery, garlic and meat in large heavy pot.
Add a little water and the greens (which should be thoroughly cleaned and washed).
Smother slowly for at least 2 hours, adding small amounts of water
when it starts to stick.
Stir frequently.
When ready - serve with rice, grilled smoked sausage, green salad, and iced tea.
Coffee and apple pie then brandy.
Maternity Ward Pot Luck Dinner
If you can?t get anything fresh from the hospital, nursery, or morgue;
you can at least get rid of all the leftovers in your refrigerator.
Dan Barkye
1 tiny human, cut into pieces
2 cups flour
Onion, garlic
Salt
pepper
garlic powder
cayenne pepper
hot sauce, etc.
Oil for frying
Mix milk, eggs, hot sauce in a bowl, add chopped onion and garlic.
Season the meat liberally, and marinate for several hours.
Asc Sco
Green onions
Salt
pepper
cornstarch
neonate stock (chicken, or turkey stock is fine)
garlic
parsley
fresh cracked black pepper
Season and sauté the cutlets in olive oil till golden brown, remove.
Add the garlic and onions and cook down a bit.
Add some lemon juice and some zest, then de-glaze with stock.
Add a little cornstarch (dissolved in cold water) to the sauce.
You are just about there, Pour the sauce over the cutlets,
Dan Barkye
Pro-Choice Po-Boy
Holiday Youngster
Place him (or ham) or her in a large glass baking dish, buttocks up.
Asc Sco
Oil
celery
onions
green onions
parsley
garlic
salt, pepper, etc
2 cups beef stock
Marinate meat (optional, not necessary with better cuts).
Season liberally and lace with garlic cloves by making incisions,
and placing whole cloves deep into the meat.
Grease a baking pan, and fill with a thick bed of onions,
celery, green onions, and parsley.
Place roast on top with fat side up.
Place uncovered in 500° oven for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 325°.
Bake till medium rare (150°) and let roast rest.
Pour stock over onions and drippings, carve the meat and
place the slices in the au jus.
Bisque à l?Enfant
Dr.Tulip
Place seasoned flour in a paper or plastic shopping bag,
drop pieces in a few a time, shake to coat thoroughly,
then deep fry in hot oil (350°) for about 15 minutes.
Drain and place on paper towels.
Miscarriage with Mustard Greens
Why waste it? Otherwise, and in general, use ham or salt pork to season greens.
The technique of smothering greens can be used with many vegetables;
green beans work especially well. Meat is not necessary every day, don?t
be afraid to alter any dish to vegetarian tastes.
1 premature baby, born dead
Large bunch of mustard greens
2 white onions, 1 cup chopped celery
Vegetable oil (or hog fat)
Salt, pepper, garlic, etc.
Lightly brown onions, celery, garlic and meat in large heavy pot.
Add a little water and the greens (which should be thoroughly cleaned and washed).
Smother slowly for at least 2 hours, adding small amounts of water
when it starts to stick.
Stir frequently.
When ready - serve with rice, grilled smoked sausage, green salad, and iced tea.
Coffee and apple pie then brandy.
Maternity Ward Pot Luck Dinner
If you can?t get anything fresh from the hospital, nursery, or morgue;
you can at least get rid of all the leftovers in your refrigerator.
1 - 2 lbs. cubed meat (human flesh, chicken, turkey, beef...)
1 -2 lbs. coarsely chopped vegetables
Asc Sco
family members...
6 newborn or veal cutlets
Tomato gravy (see index)
4 cups mozzarella, 1cup parmesan, 1cup romano
Seasoned bread crumbs mixed with
parmesan
romano
salt
pepper
oregano
garlic powder
chopped parsley
Flour
eggwash (eggs and milk)
Peanut oil for frying.
Pound the cutlets.
Dredge in flour, eggs, then the bread crumb mixture.
Fry till golden brown in 350° peanut oil.
In a baking pan, place a layer of gravy,
then one of meat, gravy, and cheese.
Another layer each of meat, gravy, and cheese.
Then bake at 350° for 45 minutes.
Serve on hot pasta with romano cheese.
Southern Fried Small-fry
Tastes like fried chicken, which works just as well.
In fact you may want to practice cutting up whole chickens
for frying before you go for the real thing.
Whole chicken is much more efficient and inexpensive than buying pieces.
Christine
Fill the pie with stew, place top crust and with a fork, seal the crusts together
then poke holes in top.
Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.
Sudden Infant Death Soup
SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup.
Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to
procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and
he?s good to go)!
SIDS victim, cleaned
½ cup cooking oil
Carrots
onions
broccoli
whole cabbage
fresh green beans
potato
turnip
celery
tomato
½ stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)
Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil.
Add a little water, season, then add the carcass.
Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick.
Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock,
so that it remains boiling the whole time.
Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender
Dan Barkye
Lemon Neonate
Turkey serves just as well, and in fact even looks a bit like a
well-dressed baby. By the time you turn the child?s breast into
cutlets, it will be indistinguishable. The taste of young human,
although similar to turkey (and chicken) often can be wildly
different depending upon what he or she has consumed during its
10 to 14 months of life...
4 well chosen cutlets (from the breasts of 2 healthy neonates)
2 large lemons (fresh lemons always, if possible)
Olive oil
Christine
Asc Sco
Miscarriage with Mustard Greens
Brown the meat and some chopped onions, peppers, and garilic in olive oil,
Christine
family members...
Southern Fried Small-fry
Mix milk, eggs, hot sauce in a bowl, add chopped onion and garlic.
Season