On Wednesday, August 8, 2018 at 1:56:59 PM UTC, Will Dockery wrote:
Will’s writing ability has not improved after 17 years, and this example from 2001 shows no facility with language. It’s a good thing he wasn’t being paid for his contributions.
> Mysterious Visions Anthology: an "homage" to Harlan Ellison, round about ways.
About a million miles away.
> Well we don't have a poetry reading lined up yet for Columbus, folks, it's still scattershot poets having impromtu readings and sharings of the words for this month as was last month, things are looking good for a permanent home to poetry readings, but I and the others are taking things kind of cautiously because we want a reading place that'll be conducive to the best interests of both the sponsoring establishment as well as the poets... a mutual symbiosis, or somesuch.
Impromptu is spelled wrong. This is one long run-on sentence! “I and the others”, “kind of”, “both” and “as well as” are used wrong.
> I'm in favor, pretty much, of the idea of keeping the foul language out, as was our former hosts, but not nearly so heavy handed (and money driven) as they were.
How much is “pretty much” and does that have a place in formal writing? “As was our former hosts” should be “as were…”.
> I think any poet worth his or her salt
Big-ass cliché.
> can manage to create poems, express ideas without using the various "F" "S" & "G-D" words and still get the message out, and in fact, I feel that it's the mark of a truly great poet to be able to express and convey ANY thoughts whatsoever, be they sexual, dark, what have you, without these words and actually come out with a better piece of work to show for it anyway.
“and in fact” should not be used here. “to show for it anyway” – how would you know this? Citations?
> If you get my drift.
Cliched writing, really bad. What if they don’t get your drift?
> What is on the table,
Cliché.
> and the first volume already out probably by the time you read these words,
But maybe not?
> is a monthly poetry collection, known as Mysterious Visions Anthology, published by Ian Shires (6733 Erie Ave./Madison Ohio 44057) and edited by me.
This address doesn’t seem to exist now. The guy is manager of “Self Publisher Association”. Edited by you is not a mark of excellence.
> This is in effect,
Another cliché.
> a PRINTED poetry reading each month, with new and established poets of all stripes,
Another cliché. What kinds of stripes do your poets have?
> giving a good view of the whole of poetry, both locally here in Shadowville, as well as
You are misusing “both” and “as well as” yet again. Your GED is jumping up to bite you.
> around the country. I'm holding to the no bad words thing
“no bad words thing”. How about a better description of “the thing”. You are a terrible writer.
> myself here (though there's no hard and fast rules
“There are no hard and fast rules”, but that is also a cliché.
> against them, just if you use words like that, make 'em COUNT) and to get to the point, I'm soliciting your submissions.
Who decides if a shit or damn counts? “and to get to the point” – why are you off the point?
> Make sure your poems are TYPED, "camera ready". There of course will be extra special exceptions to this rule, but, by and large,
Make sure but there are exceptions, so this really means submit anyway. “By and large” is another cliché.
> we're gonna be pretty strict about that.
How strict is “pretty strict”?
> Subject matter is pretty wide range,
You should not use “pretty” again here, and of course it should be “wide ranging”.
> but poetry that centers on metaphysical of symbolic, the "mystical", "spiritual", and "visionary" stuff,
What is “metaphysical of symbolic”? Please define “stuff”, which should not be in your writings.
> will of course catch my eye
Another cliché.
> more than sing-song doggerel. Just send some stuff, don't be afeared!
How about some fecal stuff? “Afeared”? Really?
> About the "homage," (a French word meaning roughly: tribute)
For your more stupid readers.
> Ellison edited the ground breaking and justly famous short story anthology Dangerous Visions,
Never heard of it. It wasn’t taught in college.
> back well nigh thirty years ago,
Are you trying to be Huckleberry Finn?
> so Mysterious Visions (not my title, it's the publisher, Ian's,
Why would anyone care?
> who synchronistically happens to be, like Harlan, an Ohio boy, Ian from Strongsville, Harlan from Painesville.) It's a natural, co-incidental homage, but straight from the heart.
How many people do you think are from or in Ohio? “Straight from the heart” as in Bryan Adams?
> Meanwhile,
Really?
> don't forget that Vickie Carson of Playgrounds is also actively seeking non-depressing poetry.
How could they forget if they didn’t know it in the first place? Define “non-depressing”.
> So don't be a stranger!
You are an awful writer. You need an editor.
> See ya next month, and may the force be with you!
You bring in a Star Wars reference for some reason to end your compilations of cliches?