Rumor Mill

ME

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Mar 23, 2021, 7:03:13 PM3/23/21

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Rumor Mill

So I hear you died,
perhaps I can tear out that
page of memory now
that you're finally gone;

There isn't any feeling at all, but thought
there might be some kind of emotion,
perhaps elation, but no.

I guess evil can die after all, I wasn't sure
until I read the obituary and your name..

I've out-lived your abuse, did you have any regrets,
did you apologize when the darkness closed in?

I was stronger than you, despite the bruises,
despite your horrid snore, so I say goodbye,
for now I've been told you died.

(In memory of my ex)

Will Dockery

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Mar 23, 2021, 7:31:30 PM3/23/21

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Excellent poem, ME, and written in what I would say is in one of my favorite styles, "confessional poetry".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confessional_poetry

ME

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Mar 23, 2021, 8:00:27 PM3/23/21

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Of course it’s excellent. It’s my work.
And I don’t have any certain style. I just write.

Will Dockery

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Mar 23, 2021, 8:07:16 PM3/23/21

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On Tuesday, March 23, 2021 at 8:00:27 PM UTC-4, ME wrote:
>
> And I don’t have any certain style. I just write.

Sure, I'm just giving my opinion on the poem and the style you used.

ashwu...@gmail.com

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Mar 23, 2021, 8:17:00 PM3/23/21

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On Tuesday, March 23, 2021 at 7:03:13 PM UTC-4, ME wrote:
> Rumor Mill

This is something my Muse can appreciate. Hopefully, NG or Pendragon will review it for any errors-- this deserves to be in its best form.

Some suggestions, I'm just trying to be helpful. Others hopefully will correct me if I'm wrong...

> So I hear you died,

So I hear you have died,

> perhaps I can tear out that
> page of memory now
> that you're finally gone;
>
> There isn't any feeling at all, but thought

There isn't any feeling at all, but **I** thought

(or 'a thought')

> there might be some kind of emotion,
> perhaps elation, but no.
>
> I guess evil can die after all, I wasn't sure
> until I read the obituary and your name..

until I read the obituary and **saw** your name...

> I've out-lived your abuse, did you have any regrets,
> did you apologize when the darkness closed in?

did you apologize when **that** darkness closed in?

(just a little flair suggestion)

ME

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Mar 23, 2021, 8:33:52 PM3/23/21

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Thanks for the suggestions, Ash.

I’ll take them under consideration if I do a rewrite.
It’s just something I wrote when I got the news.

ashwu...@gmail.com

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Mar 23, 2021, 9:03:31 PM3/23/21

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Understood. Knowing the circumstances makes me appreciate the piece even more.

Zod

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Mar 23, 2021, 10:22:08 PM3/23/21

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On Tuesday, March 23, 2021 at 7:31:30 PM UTC-4, Will Dockery wrote:
>
> Excellent poem, ME, and written in what I would say is in one of my favorite styles, "confessional poetry".
>
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confessional_poetry

Seconded, this is the best poem ME has written yet....

Michael Pendragon

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Mar 24, 2021, 9:07:40 AM3/24/21

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On Tuesday, March 23, 2021 at 8:17:00 PM UTC-4, ashwu...@gmail.com wrote:
> On Tuesday, March 23, 2021 at 7:03:13 PM UTC-4, ME wrote:
> > Rumor Mill
> This is something my Muse can appreciate. Hopefully, NG or Pendragon will review it for any errors-- this deserves to be in its best form.

This is one of those times when writing a poem in perfect textbook English would actually lessen its power.

ME's poem succeeds because of its message -- not because of its skill with manipulating words.

In short, her poem affects us because it feels "real."

Imagine if one were to recast this poem in sonnet form. The artifice of the form would remove the text from reality, whereby the raw power of truth one experiences when reading it would be lost.

The same holds true for setting it in "proper" English. The result would read like a classroom assignment, and not like an accurate depiction of the feelings experience on hearing the news of an ex-lover's/spouse's death.

This begs the question, should realism in poetry entirely eschew grammar rules and poetic form?

The answer is, to a certain degree.

For me, the "litmus test" is whether an awareness of the grammatical errors intrudes upon my initial reading. In this case, they do not.

I would, therefore, leave the poem as it is.

ME

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Mar 24, 2021, 9:43:58 AM3/24/21

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Thank you Michael!
I do understand Ash’s suggestions, as it was written rather quickly. But knowing that my sentiments and thoughts were perceived by those reading it, let’s ME know that I’ve succeeded in my attempt at poetry

Karen Tellefsen

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Mar 24, 2021, 10:28:57 AM3/24/21

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On Tuesday, March 23, 2021 at 7:03:13 PM UTC-4, ME wrote:

I live with a snore like a buzz saw from hell, but otherwise I can't complain.

Will Dockery

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Mar 24, 2021, 11:21:47 AM3/24/21

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I agree, the poem is powerful as is.

Ash Wurthing

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Mar 24, 2021, 7:30:02 PM3/24/21

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Pendragon sold me, yes it is best left as originally written. I need to setup the collection app as a poetry journal so you have a place for it and your other writings instead of just text files and group posts. I may have to let you see mine so you can see how cool one can be. My Muse resides in mine-- literally, a custom graphic of a horned goddess wielding lightning to split the sky.

ME

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Mar 24, 2021, 8:47:56 PM3/24/21

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On Wednesday, 24 March 2021 at 19:30:02 UTC-4, Ash Wurthing wrote:
> Pendragon sold me, yes it is best left as originally written. I need to setup the collection app as a poetry journal so you have a place for it and your other writings instead of just text files and group posts. I may have to let you see mine so you can see how cool one can be. My Muse resides in mine-- literally, a custom graphic of a horned goddess wielding lightning to split the sky.

I allow my muse to do as she pleases.
She serves ME well.

Ash Wurthing

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Mar 24, 2021, 9:20:29 PM3/24/21

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On Wednesday, March 24, 2021 at 8:47:56 PM UTC-4, ME wrote:
> I allow my muse to do as she pleases.
> She serves ME well.

Best that way, Muses are not to be trifled with.

Zod

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Mar 25, 2021, 10:00:37 PM3/25/21

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Reminds me quite a bit of the poetry of Lisa Scarboro....

ME

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Apr 18, 2021, 5:48:44 AM4/18/21

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Ash Wurthing

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Apr 18, 2021, 3:18:40 PM4/18/21

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I'm undecided about a Readers' Choice, still looking over all your work for your best. (For the successor of the Readers' Choice)

But was going to add this to a good commentary threads collection.

Will Dockery

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Apr 18, 2021, 3:29:53 PM4/18/21

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On Sunday, April 18, 2021 at 3:18:40 PM UTC-4, Ash Wurthing wrote:
>
> I'm undecided about a Readers' Choice, still looking over all your work for your best. (For the successor of the Readers' Choice)
>
> But was going to add this to a good commentary threads collection.

Of ME's poems this is my favorite, so it gets an AAPC Reader's choice vote From me.

ME

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Apr 18, 2021, 3:55:56 PM4/18/21

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On Sunday, 18 April 2021 at 15:18:40 UTC-4, Ash Wurthing wrote:
> I'm undecided about a Readers' Choice, still looking over all your work for your best. (For the successor of the Readers' Choice)
>
> But was going to add this to a good commentary threads collection.

This isn’t available for the reader’s choice bullshit.
But you’re free to place it in any of the forums your think appropriate, Ash.
And I realize this isn’t my best, but it was from the soul.

Ash Wurthing

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Apr 20, 2021, 6:35:02 PM4/20/21

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good example of poem commentary ^& discussion