The Truck Driver
Tom Bishop
sits at the counter, and orders
a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
and a glass of milk, from the buxom
young counter-girl.
As she was preparing his order,
in rode 6 members of a motorcycle gang,
drinking and making trouble.
They parked out front and came in.
three sat on one side of the truck driver,
three sat on the other.
The buxom counter-girl brought
the order, but the motorcycle gang
members took his sandwich, tore
it in half, and passed the halves down
each side to be eaten. They similarly
drank his milk, and proceeded to stare at him
menacingly.
He paid his bill quickly, walked out,
and drove away.
One of the gang members looked at the
buxom counter-girl and said,
"Wasn't much of a man was he?"
"No," said the counter-girl,
"Wasn't much of a truck driver either,
he just backed over 6 motorcycles."
(Is this poetry? I doubt it, but thought I'd check, :-)
since people tell me contradictory things about it.
or ... Perhaps someone could render it as poetry?
so I could /see/ the difference.)
--
Tom Bishop -- http://Poetry.Here.Nu
Poetry is what gets lost in translation.
-- Robert Frost
Nancy
eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
There is no way to appease the beasts on this board, even virgin
sacrafice has failed [so I've heard]
Nancy
Tom Bishop
"Nancy" <n_h...@webtv.net> wrote in message news:157-3F08...@storefull-2156.public.lawson.webtv.net...
> I think there is a Teamsters rule strictly forbidding truck drivers from
> eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
True. It interferes with the Benzedrine.
This joke was told to me originally 30 years ago while
I was hitchhiking across country.
I got a ride from a trucker with a full load, who was stoked
on Bennies.
It was raining, and somewhat hazardous.
But he looked at me with a crazy eye,
and said:
"Don't worry, don't worry at all.
We've got 40,000 pounds of traction.
Just keep me awake."
> There is no way to appease the beasts on this board, even virgin
> sacrafice has failed [so I've heard]
Nah. With the right English, you can get them
to read just about anything. They say they vomit,
but all that you ever get are squiggles.
> Nancy
OB
> I got a ride from a trucker with a full load, who was stoked
> on Bennies.
"Falkland Islanders" to you, son.
Art
> > I think there is a Teamsters rule strictly forbidding truck drivers from
> > eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
>
> True. It interferes with the Benzedrine.
Yes, and so does Paxil with Whiskey chasers. Makes the centerline
dashes look like MG42 tracers after a while.
This would explain the pieces of a Harley XLS 1000 Roadster embedded
in the front bumper.
> This joke was told to me originally 30 years ago while
> I was hitchhiking across country.
>
> I got a ride from a trucker with a full load, who was stoked
> on Bennies.
>
> It was raining, and somewhat hazardous.
Was that the time you were busted-flat in Baton Rouge? Seems I've
heard this story before somewhere.
>
> But he looked at me with a crazy eye,
> and said:
> "Don't worry, don't worry at all.
> We've got 40,000 pounds of traction.
> Just keep me awake."
This would have made me feel near' as faded as my jeans. I've found
the best was to keep Cranked Truck Drivers awake is by singin' every
song they know.
>
> > There is no way to appease the beasts on this board, even virgin
> > sacrafice has failed [so I've heard]
>
> Nah. With the right English, you can get them
> to read just about anything. They say they vomit,
> but all that you ever get are squiggles.
Although, with left-english, you could kiss the six and sink the nine
in the corner.
---
Art
Tom Bishop
"Art" <arty_...@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:f2998b70.03070...@posting.google.com...
"A game of sticks and balls, not to mention the holes," Tom snookered.
>
> ---
> Art
Art McNutt
Tom Bishop wrote:
"But how should I charge them;" asked the enterprising boy with the lawn mower, "By the hour or by the number of
yards I mow?"
"Bill the yards." stated Tom as he played at the pool.
---
Art
Tom Bishop
"Art McNutt" <webm...@ci-pac.org> wrote in message news:3F0D4068...@ci-pac.org...
"Niner, Niner in the side," Tom neenered.
Tom Bishop
"Tom Bishop" <ZZZ-...@here-not-really.nu> wrote in message news:bejqmd$5sdpa$1...@ID-138561.news.dfncis.de...
"I have to put a leg up," as Tom felted.
Tom Bishop
"Tom Bishop" <ZZZ-...@here-not-really.nu> wrote in message news:bejqpo$5vci1$1...@ID-138561.news.dfncis.de...
>
> "Tom Bishop" <ZZZ-...@here-not-really.nu> wrote in message news:bejqol$5rnnq$1...@ID-138561.news.dfncis.de...
> >
> > "Tom Bishop" <ZZZ-...@here-not-really.nu> wrote in message news:bejqnu$5v1dk$1...@ID-138561.news.dfncis.de...
> > >
> > > "Tom Bishop" <ZZZ-...@here-not-really.nu> wrote in message news:bejqn8$60m5p$1...@ID-138561.news.dfncis.de...
> >
> > "3 cushions into the side," Tom railed.
>
> "Masse and the 8 to the corner," Tom spun.
"Pool is a gimp game," Tom broke.
Tom Bishop
"Tom Bishop" <ZZZ-...@here-not-really.nu> wrote in message news:bejqn8$60m5p$1...@ID-138561.news.dfncis.de...
"Rack 'um," Tom chalked.
Tom Bishop
"Tom Bishop" <ZZZ-...@here-not-really.nu> wrote in message news:bejqnu$5v1dk$1...@ID-138561.news.dfncis.de...
"3 cushions into the side," Tom railed.
Tom Bishop
"Tom Bishop" <ZZZ-...@here-not-really.nu> wrote in message news:bejqol$5rnnq$1...@ID-138561.news.dfncis.de...
"Masse and the 8 to the corner," Tom spun.
Art
"7 in the cue!" exclaimed Art, pointing to the Usenet queue in his
Reader.
"We could start with a clean slate," Tom offered as he stood, hands in
pockets.
"I felt that!" Art protested. "And get your hands off the table."
"Am I breaking?" Tom asked as he stood up.
"Not by a long shot," encouraged Art.
"You can bank on /that/!" exclaimed Tom, looking over the long shot.
"Yes, I /could/ bank on that," Art railed, "but the direct shot is
better."
"Well, then, just kiss off!" said Tom, curtly.
"I've been racking my brains..." Art began.
"That explains the pointy head," Tom muttered under his breath.
"But I can't remember, do I have the little balls or the big ones?"
queried Art, innocently.
"Well," Tom said seriously, "on who broke the balls."
"I think there is a gulf of misunderstanding here," announced Art.
"Okay, I agree, this is a stupid game, anyway. How 'bout I call the
course and check on tee times?" asked Tom, putting his cue away.
"Well, okay, but I'm part Irish: I'll take Scotch in mine," Art
replied confusedly.
"Scotch for an Irishman? Who the hell do you think you are, Earl Grey
or something?" Tom said picking up his clubs.
"Now you've Tea-ed me off!" exclaimed Art.
"That's the idea," Tom said putting the clubs in his trunk.
---
Art
Tom Bishop
"Art" <arty_...@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:f2998b70.03071...@posting.google.com...
"Four," Tom drove.
leisha
Leisha
Little Tommy Bishop
a truck butter and truck sandwich
and a glass of truck, from the truckly
young dom counter-girl Tommy fantasises about
who nevertheless notices that Tommy uses the word
"truck" too much.
As she was preparing his order,
in rode 6 members of a poetry gang,
drinking and making rondeaux and pointing out
that Tommy had never written
a half-decent computer program ever.
They parked out front and came in.
(That was after they'd previously
*ridden* in, as I told you
illogically in the preceding
strophe.)
Three sat on one side of little Tommy,
three sat on the other. 3 + 3 = 6, and
I'll post this amazing knowledge
to my fake resumé website.
Intermittently,
they prodded him
until he cried.
You can hear him crying from here.
The truckly counter-girl brought
the order, but the poetry gang
members took his sandwich, tore
it in half, and passed the halves down
each side to be eaten. They similarly
drank his milk (because all True Poets agree
that milk can be torn in half)
and proceeded to stare at him
menacingly
and with useless
adverbs.
(Ya see, they knew he was a wannable copyright
abuser, and wanted him to know how it
felt to have something of his stolen.)
He paid his bill quickly, walked out,
and drove away. Meanwhile, the whole
world knew what the feeble
punchline was going to be.
One of the gang members looked at the
truckly counter-girl and said,
"Wasn't much of a man was he?"
"No," said the counter-girl,
"Wasn't much of a programmer either:
he just wrote a 10 Mb text-editor
that was less useful than
Windows Notepad."
Ba da boom.
Copyright 2003 Tommy Bishop. All rights reserved, unlike /your/ rights
if Tommy feels like using your poems on his silly little website.
Robert St. James (el corazon del demonio)
"Little Tommy Bishop"
> This truck driver stops at a truck stop,
> sits at the truck counter, and orders
> a truck butter and truck sandwich
> and a glass of truck, from the truckly
> young dom counter-girl Tommy fantasises about
> who nevertheless notices that Tommy uses the word
> "truck" too much.
Hmmm. Maybe this "bishop" character ain't such a bad poet
after all. Truck Sandwich. That's good. I might just have to
steal that one.
RstJ
Michael Cook
"Little Tommy Bishop" <to...@programmer.not> wrote in message
news:vhdsgv82g4f1u8m1n...@4ax.com...
Art McNutt
Tom Bishop wrote:
"For?" exclaimed Art, "I really couldn't say /what/ it's for--it's just a game. Yes, it's a lot like Bill's Yards: a great green
playing surface with sticks and balls and holes. Bigger, I suppose, and, of course, more walking, too."
"Approximately the same amount of drinking, though," commented Tom as he a popped a cool one.
"Fore!" Art shouted.
"No, that leaves 5 in the cooler," Tom counted.
---
Art
T=om B=ishop
Keep that thought.
--
Tom Bishop -- http://Poetry.Here.Nu
"Lust is to the other passions what the nervous fluid is to life."
- Marquis de Sade
"Little Tommy Bishop" <to...@programmer.not> wrote in message news:vhdsgv82g4f1u8m1n...@4ax.com...
Will-Dockery
> Tom Bishop wrote:
> This truck driver stops at a truck stop,
> young counter-girl.
>
> drinking and making trouble.
>
>
> the order, but the motorcycle gang
> it in half, and passed the halves down
> each side to be eaten. They similarly
> menacingly.
> He paid his bill quickly, walked out,
> and drove away.
>
>
> "No," said the counter-girl,
> he just backed over 6 motorcycles."
>
>
>
> (Is this poetry? I doubt it, but thought I'd check, :-)
> since people tell me contradictory things about it.
> or ... Perhaps someone could render it as poetry?
> so I could /see/ the difference.)
>
> -- Robert Frost
This is a response to the post seen at:
http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=657761971#657761971
