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i wrote this poem
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cheesetray
Feb 12, 2024, 12:00:15 AM2/12/24
to
and was barely following the news , but ever since , all the words have exploded into the national conversation , im just saying , its not fair ,i took them from my own pot, and they were very powerful , but now they have lost all their force due to overuse
im going to sue
im going to sue
cheesetray
Feb 12, 2024, 12:05:13 AM2/12/24
to
because of the war i was barely even watching the news until after this , i had almost no idea what was going on , when i was done that was when i said to myself, what the hell is going on , and took a look at a week in review from pbs
cheesetray
Feb 12, 2024, 12:20:14 AM2/12/24
to
you just have to stop before you read it and say to yourself
these are not normal descriptive words , none of these are , i have to wipe the slate clean , clear my mind , and free myself from the all-too-common exaggerated bipolar usage on pay tv and by hollywood and other entertainment mediums (if you engage in a lot of that)
this is not drama, this language for true human experience is reserved for extreme life conditions such as the impending doom of global warming, states of war, as well as, on a much smaller and more intimate scale, the burdens of excruciating mental illness
without my knowing it , hummus stole my thunder on the mountain
these are not normal descriptive words , none of these are , i have to wipe the slate clean , clear my mind , and free myself from the all-too-common exaggerated bipolar usage on pay tv and by hollywood and other entertainment mediums (if you engage in a lot of that)
this is not drama, this language for true human experience is reserved for extreme life conditions such as the impending doom of global warming, states of war, as well as, on a much smaller and more intimate scale, the burdens of excruciating mental illness
without my knowing it , hummus stole my thunder on the mountain
Will Dockery
Feb 12, 2024, 2:03:29 AM2/12/24
to
:)
cheesetray
Feb 12, 2024, 2:45:10 AM2/12/24
to
im ready 2 show it to u for an early viewing , but not when u are sleepy or heading off 2 bed , like now
unless my mood changes or something
not about u just in general
i dont know if ill ever write another 1 :-(((
its an awful way to live :-(((
unless my mood changes or something
not about u just in general
i dont know if ill ever write another 1 :-(((
its an awful way to live :-(((
cheesetray
Feb 12, 2024, 3:10:11 AM2/12/24
to
i swear to the best of my recollection , starting when i turned it on and started paying attention , after the pbs review , that all these descriptive words , not implying all adjectives , just any word choice , all came from the recesses of consciousness , and then i started reading, and then later , watching , and BOOM , they all started being used , like a verbal cascade of copycats
cheesetray
Feb 12, 2024, 3:40:11 AM2/12/24
to
i can say with 100 % certainty....when i wrote it....the ONLY thing i got from the war , was the idea of rockets as a metaphor ...
i know this b/c i remember when i used the word terrorist , i recall quite clearly i thought to myself , hey , thats kind of like what they say happened in israel .. but ,they are the legit ruling power , or so i thought , however us classifies them as terrorists ., so it COULD BE the same...
all i knew was 250 people were killed, i thought they were gunned down, like mass shootings here in the us, and now they are firing rockets at each other
thats all i knew at that point , and rockets was the only thing i used.
after that it was all on tv and in my reading on computer and family emails
i know this b/c i remember when i used the word terrorist , i recall quite clearly i thought to myself , hey , thats kind of like what they say happened in israel .. but ,they are the legit ruling power , or so i thought , however us classifies them as terrorists ., so it COULD BE the same...
all i knew was 250 people were killed, i thought they were gunned down, like mass shootings here in the us, and now they are firing rockets at each other
thats all i knew at that point , and rockets was the only thing i used.
after that it was all on tv and in my reading on computer and family emails
Will Dockery
Feb 12, 2024, 3:56:16 AM2/12/24
to
4am here in the East, after all.
W.Dockery
Feb 13, 2024, 6:25:10 AM2/13/24
to
cheesetray wrote:
>
> and was barely following the news , but ever since , all the words have exploded into the national conversation , im just saying , its not fair ,i took them from my own pot, and they were very powerful , but now they have lost all their force due to overuse
> im going to sue
I'll have a coffee concoction (you know what the ingredients are) and read this poem when it appears here, and, again, happy birthday week, Rachel.
>
> and was barely following the news , but ever since , all the words have exploded into the national conversation , im just saying , its not fair ,i took them from my own pot, and they were very powerful , but now they have lost all their force due to overuse
> im going to sue
:)
Will Dockery
Feb 13, 2024, 12:29:41 PM2/13/24
to
Terrorists parachuted down, killing unarmed concert auditions members.
Of course, correct me if I'm wrong.
cheesetray
Feb 13, 2024, 1:30:22 PM2/13/24
to
sooo glad you are enjoying your coffee ! :-) makes me very happy to here. your mongoloid beef for chinese new year looked FAB !!!
Will Dockery
Feb 13, 2024, 7:59:50 PM2/13/24
to
On Tuesday, February 13, 2024 at 1:30:22 PM UTC-5, cheesetray wrote:
:)
> Will Dockery wrote:
> > cheesetray wrote:
>
> >> and was barely following the news , but ever since , all the words have exploded into the national conversation , im just saying , its not fair ,i took them from my own pot, and they were very powerful , but now they have lost all their force due to overuse
>
> >> im going to sue
>
>
> > I'll have a coffee concoction (you know what the ingredients are) and read this poem when it appears here, and, again, happy birthday week, Rachel.
>
>
> > cheesetray wrote:
>
> >> and was barely following the news , but ever since , all the words have exploded into the national conversation , im just saying , its not fair ,i took them from my own pot, and they were very powerful , but now they have lost all their force due to overuse
>
> >> im going to sue
>
>
> > I'll have a coffee concoction (you know what the ingredients are) and read this poem when it appears here, and, again, happy birthday week, Rachel.
>
>
> thanks , will !!! its nice to read that
>
> sooo glad you are enjoying your coffee ! :-) makes me very happy to here. your mongoloid beef for chinese new year looked FAB !!!
Yes, it was delicious.
>
> sooo glad you are enjoying your coffee ! :-) makes me very happy to here. your mongoloid beef for chinese new year looked FAB !!!
:)
General-Zod
Feb 14, 2024, 7:55:16 AM2/14/24
to
cheesetray
Feb 14, 2024, 9:30:12 PM2/14/24
to
its a romantic valentine
cheesetray
Feb 15, 2024, 12:45:12 AM2/15/24
to
i'm not in the mood anymore
i think i sat on it too long
just forget it
i think i sat on it too long
just forget it
Faraway Star
Feb 15, 2024, 5:28:50 AM2/15/24
to
On Monday, February 12, 2024 at 12:00:15 AM UTC-5, cheesetray wrote:
>
> and was barely following the news , but ever since , all the words have exploded into the national conversation , im just saying , its not fair ,i took them from my own pot, and they were very powerful , but now they have lost all their force due to overuse
>
> im going to sue
Hi Rachel, I read the poem, outstanding on first read..!
>
> and was barely following the news , but ever since , all the words have exploded into the national conversation , im just saying , its not fair ,i took them from my own pot, and they were very powerful , but now they have lost all their force due to overuse
>
> im going to sue
General-Zod
Feb 15, 2024, 6:20:14 AM2/15/24
to
cheesetray wrote:
>
>
>> Operation Bloodless
>> (response to nancy)
>>
>>
>> phonemes charging
>> collected army
>> of hungry lit sounds
>> burst forth, bearing sharp swords, assault of
>> blades flashing, and slashing
>> thorny-armed terrorists
>> wielding surgical lasers sabres which beam and mock
>> mirror and swipe
>> with calculated precision
>> they slice
>> and cut deep, into rough stale banks of human brain joined at river’s edge
>>
>> rogue militant mission of growling stomach stampede
>> a serial procession divine particle cascade of raging cowman vomit
>> spurs rote streams spinning through desolate indifferent swampland
>> abused soil of sandy desert and abandoned dirt
>> a mounted scalding attack
>> led by sticky torches burning
>> deep below the coordinates
>> of creation’s ground zero
>> scouring petrified bovine dung and buried leaves
>> which are now all choking…
>> on the smoke
>> of viper venom
>>
>> unraveling threads recoiling
>> ravaged in instant shock
>> from this suffocating heat
>> surge of liquid flame loosed on stung conscience by the blind pricking
>> piercing of mercenaries
>> employed en masse for merciless molecular mutilation
>>
>> designer rockets delegating a multi-millennial build-up of manufactured
>> homeland waste from savage cactus fire
>> send toxic flares...
>> their crafted arrows, carrying chemicals from forsaken high voltage
>> electric needles
>> pound across peals of vaulted sky
>> striking embowed short-circuited professional agents of authority
>> meticulously marking mapped out morals for these ground
>> controlled messenger vehicles
>> of rectifying mystery spikes and metaphysics
>> from spines which rattle and hiss
>> they surround and rain down
>> in unison, upon unsuspecting shaking venison victims
>> injections of pacifying poison numb and shrink the dyed agar membranes
>> of lifeless dumb prisoners of names
>> all rounded up and stranded
>> silos of stentorian acid stinging and singeing their neural skins
>> escorting them, in their season to carefully doctored death time
>> notarized, inside the charred detritus compost of collective mind
>>
>> blackened scarred ego
>> cracks and is momently ruptured by young shoots of courage
>> fiery rods sent to grasp and bloom
>> in unknown far-off fertile fields
>> unearthed by vindicated corporation of constructed confusion
>> and the ominous cries of inflexible internalized coincidence
>>
>> rays of pitched sparks fly, offering up
>> new memory, darkly etched under quivering animal moonlight
>> recorded holy chains of ancient blood
>> carved out of the steely milk-white night and seeping...into art strokes
>> of my soul’s last breath
>>
>>
>> רחל
>> 10.15.23
>> for SAM
Again Rachel... Excellent poem on first read..!
*****MOVED from the TROLL thread******
>
>
>> Operation Bloodless
>> (response to nancy)
>>
>>
>> phonemes charging
>> collected army
>> of hungry lit sounds
>> burst forth, bearing sharp swords, assault of
>> blades flashing, and slashing
>> thorny-armed terrorists
>> wielding surgical lasers sabres which beam and mock
>> mirror and swipe
>> with calculated precision
>> they slice
>> and cut deep, into rough stale banks of human brain joined at river’s edge
>>
>> rogue militant mission of growling stomach stampede
>> a serial procession divine particle cascade of raging cowman vomit
>> spurs rote streams spinning through desolate indifferent swampland
>> abused soil of sandy desert and abandoned dirt
>> a mounted scalding attack
>> led by sticky torches burning
>> deep below the coordinates
>> of creation’s ground zero
>> scouring petrified bovine dung and buried leaves
>> which are now all choking…
>> on the smoke
>> of viper venom
>>
>> unraveling threads recoiling
>> ravaged in instant shock
>> from this suffocating heat
>> surge of liquid flame loosed on stung conscience by the blind pricking
>> piercing of mercenaries
>> employed en masse for merciless molecular mutilation
>>
>> designer rockets delegating a multi-millennial build-up of manufactured
>> homeland waste from savage cactus fire
>> send toxic flares...
>> their crafted arrows, carrying chemicals from forsaken high voltage
>> electric needles
>> pound across peals of vaulted sky
>> striking embowed short-circuited professional agents of authority
>> meticulously marking mapped out morals for these ground
>> controlled messenger vehicles
>> of rectifying mystery spikes and metaphysics
>> from spines which rattle and hiss
>> they surround and rain down
>> in unison, upon unsuspecting shaking venison victims
>> injections of pacifying poison numb and shrink the dyed agar membranes
>> of lifeless dumb prisoners of names
>> all rounded up and stranded
>> silos of stentorian acid stinging and singeing their neural skins
>> escorting them, in their season to carefully doctored death time
>> notarized, inside the charred detritus compost of collective mind
>>
>> blackened scarred ego
>> cracks and is momently ruptured by young shoots of courage
>> fiery rods sent to grasp and bloom
>> in unknown far-off fertile fields
>> unearthed by vindicated corporation of constructed confusion
>> and the ominous cries of inflexible internalized coincidence
>>
>> rays of pitched sparks fly, offering up
>> new memory, darkly etched under quivering animal moonlight
>> recorded holy chains of ancient blood
>> carved out of the steely milk-white night and seeping...into art strokes
>> of my soul’s last breath
>>
>>
>> רחל
>> 10.15.23
>> for SAM
Again Rachel... Excellent poem on first read..!
*****MOVED from the TROLL thread******
%
Feb 15, 2024, 6:40:26 AM2/15/24
to
W.Dockery
Feb 15, 2024, 6:55:13 AM2/15/24
to
:)
cheesetray
Feb 15, 2024, 8:30:18 AM2/15/24
to
thats not the poem
i didnt write it like that
he fucked with the layout
i didnt write it like that
he fucked with the layout
Faraway Star
Feb 15, 2024, 3:28:35 PM2/15/24
to
General-Zod
Feb 15, 2024, 4:25:14 PM2/15/24
to
%
Feb 15, 2024, 5:50:04 PM2/15/24
to
General-Zod
Feb 15, 2024, 5:55:16 PM2/15/24
to
cheesetray
Feb 15, 2024, 8:45:18 PM2/15/24
to
i messed around with it before, maybe too long? i futzed with it after "finishing" but the text was essentially finished quickly.
here's an approximation (unless i went through this exact one, too, i no longer recall) of how it looked before, opinions welcomed (see, now i think this is so much better, at first glance, i am not good at layout, although i believe in the version i found for memory of a time)
i thought the other way was better, in that it highlighted some of the rhyme scheme, as well as indicated pauses as i felt it when writing (but who knows, maybe i'm out of shape? uh...)
Operation Bloodless
(response to nancy)
phonemes charging...collected army of
wielding surgical lasers. sabres which
beam and mock, mirror and swipe
with calculated precision. they slice
stampede, a serial procession, divine particle
unraveling threads recoiling, ravaged
in instant shock, from this suffocating heat
surge of liquid flame loosed on stung conscience,
by the blind pricking, piercing
of mercenaries, employed en masse for
embowed short-circuited professional agents
of authority, meticulously marking
here's an approximation (unless i went through this exact one, too, i no longer recall) of how it looked before, opinions welcomed (see, now i think this is so much better, at first glance, i am not good at layout, although i believe in the version i found for memory of a time)
i thought the other way was better, in that it highlighted some of the rhyme scheme, as well as indicated pauses as i felt it when writing (but who knows, maybe i'm out of shape? uh...)
Operation Bloodless
(response to nancy)
hungry lit sounds burst forth, bearing
sharp swords, assault of blades flashing
and slashing, thorny-armed terrorists
sharp swords, assault of blades flashing
wielding surgical lasers. sabres which
beam and mock, mirror and swipe
with calculated precision. they slice
and cut deep, into rough stale banks
of human brain joined at river’s edge
rogue militant mission, of growling stomach
of human brain joined at river’s edge
stampede, a serial procession, divine particle
cascade of raging cowman vomit
spurs rote streams spinning through
desolate indifferent swampland
abused soil of sandy desert and abandoned dirt
a mounted scalding attack led by
sticky torches burning deep below the coordinates
of creation’s ground zero, scouring petrified
spurs rote streams spinning through
desolate indifferent swampland
abused soil of sandy desert and abandoned dirt
a mounted scalding attack led by
sticky torches burning deep below the coordinates
bovine dung and buried leaves which are now
all choking…on the smoke...of viper venom
unraveling threads recoiling, ravaged
in instant shock, from this suffocating heat
surge of liquid flame loosed on stung conscience,
by the blind pricking, piercing
of mercenaries, employed en masse for
merciless molecular mutilation
designer rockets delegating a multi-millennial
build-up of manufactured homeland waste
from savage cactus fire send toxic flares...
their crafted arrows, carrying chemicals
from forsaken high voltage electric needles
pound across peals of vaulted sky, striking
designer rockets delegating a multi-millennial
build-up of manufactured homeland waste
from savage cactus fire send toxic flares...
their crafted arrows, carrying chemicals
from forsaken high voltage electric needles
embowed short-circuited professional agents
of authority, meticulously marking
mapped out morals for these ground
controlled messenger vehicles of rectifying
mystery spikes and metaphysics from spines
which rattle and hiss. they surround and
controlled messenger vehicles of rectifying
mystery spikes and metaphysics from spines
cheesetray
Feb 15, 2024, 8:50:16 PM2/15/24
to
oops there's a typo in there so sorry!!! hang on.....
Operation Bloodless
(response to nancy)
phonemes charging...collected army of
hungry lit sounds burst forth, bearing
sharp swords, assault of blades flashing
and slashing, thorny-armed terrorists
wielding surgical lasers...sabres which
Operation Bloodless
(response to nancy)
phonemes charging...collected army of
hungry lit sounds burst forth, bearing
sharp swords, assault of blades flashing
and slashing, thorny-armed terrorists
%
Feb 16, 2024, 12:43:50 AM2/16/24
to
W.Dockery
Feb 16, 2024, 10:55:12 PM2/16/24
to
General-Zod
Feb 17, 2024, 3:00:17 AM2/17/24
to
W.Dockery
Feb 18, 2024, 6:50:15 AM2/18/24
to
Having a coffee and a read.
:)
General-Zod
Feb 18, 2024, 3:50:17 PM2/18/24
to
Faraway Star
Feb 18, 2024, 4:20:05 PM2/18/24
to
Hush, fool
%
Feb 19, 2024, 2:28:21 AM2/19/24
to
Faraway Star
Feb 19, 2024, 2:49:48 AM2/19/24
to
"With a tear in your eye."
%
Feb 19, 2024, 4:27:45 AM2/19/24
to
Faraway Star
Feb 19, 2024, 8:35:41 AM2/19/24
to
%
Feb 19, 2024, 10:00:32 AM2/19/24
to
to give her a hot urine shower on her head next time
Faraway Star
Feb 19, 2024, 10:26:33 AM2/19/24
to
>
> good riddance,
I ain't going nowhere... you fucked head troll...
Like I said, with a tear in your eye... Ha ha..
%
Feb 19, 2024, 10:47:47 AM2/19/24
to
General-Zod
Feb 19, 2024, 12:15:19 PM2/19/24
to
%
Feb 19, 2024, 12:23:40 PM2/19/24
to
Faraway Star
Feb 19, 2024, 1:03:47 PM2/19/24
to
General-Zod
Feb 20, 2024, 6:25:16 PM2/20/24
to
cheesetray wrote:
>
> you just have to stop before you read it and say to yourself
> these are not normal descriptive words , none of these are , i have to wipe the slate clean , clear my mind , and free myself from the all-too-common exaggerated bipolar usage on pay tv and by hollywood and other entertainment mediums (if you engage in a lot of that)
> this is not drama, this language for true human experience is reserved for extreme life conditions such as the impending doom of global warming, states of war, as well as, on a much smaller and more intimate scale, the burdens of excruciating mental illness
> without my knowing it , hummus stole my thunder on the mountain
Synchronicity...?
>
> you just have to stop before you read it and say to yourself
> these are not normal descriptive words , none of these are , i have to wipe the slate clean , clear my mind , and free myself from the all-too-common exaggerated bipolar usage on pay tv and by hollywood and other entertainment mediums (if you engage in a lot of that)
> this is not drama, this language for true human experience is reserved for extreme life conditions such as the impending doom of global warming, states of war, as well as, on a much smaller and more intimate scale, the burdens of excruciating mental illness
> without my knowing it , hummus stole my thunder on the mountain
Synchronicity...?
Faraway Star
Feb 21, 2024, 10:08:18 AM2/21/24
to
Will Dockery
Feb 21, 2024, 5:06:35 PM2/21/24
to
General-Zod
Feb 22, 2024, 5:20:18 AM2/22/24
to
Will Dockery
Feb 22, 2024, 10:07:57 AM2/22/24
to
On Thursday, February 15, 2024 at 6:20:14 AM UTC-5, General-Zod wrote:
> cheesetray wrote:
> >
> >
> cheesetray wrote:
> >
> >
> >> Operation Bloodless
> >> (response to nancy)
> >>
> >>
> >> phonemes charging
> >> (response to nancy)
> >>
> >>
> >> phonemes charging
> >> collected army
> >> of hungry lit sounds
> >> burst forth, bearing sharp swords, assault of
> >> of hungry lit sounds
> >> burst forth, bearing sharp swords, assault of
> >> blades flashing, and slashing
> >> thorny-armed terrorists
> >> wielding surgical lasers sabres which beam and mock
> >> thorny-armed terrorists
> >> wielding surgical lasers sabres which beam and mock
> >> mirror and swipe
> >> with calculated precision
> >> with calculated precision
> >> they slice
> >> and cut deep, into rough stale banks of human brain joined at river’s edge
> >>
> >> and cut deep, into rough stale banks of human brain joined at river’s edge
> >>
> >> rogue militant mission of growling stomach stampede
> >> a serial procession divine particle cascade of raging cowman vomit
> >> spurs rote streams spinning through desolate indifferent swampland
> >> abused soil of sandy desert and abandoned dirt
> >> a mounted scalding attack
> >> led by sticky torches burning
> >> deep below the coordinates
> >> of creation’s ground zero
> >> abused soil of sandy desert and abandoned dirt
> >> a mounted scalding attack
> >> led by sticky torches burning
> >> deep below the coordinates
> >> of creation’s ground zero
> >> scouring petrified bovine dung and buried leaves
> >> which are now all choking…
> >> which are now all choking…
> >> on the smoke
> >> of viper venom
> >>
> >> unraveling threads recoiling
> >> ravaged in instant shock
> >> from this suffocating heat
> >> of viper venom
> >>
> >> unraveling threads recoiling
> >> ravaged in instant shock
> >> surge of liquid flame loosed on stung conscience by the blind pricking
> >> piercing of mercenaries
> >> piercing of mercenaries
> >> employed en masse for merciless molecular mutilation
> >>
> >> designer rockets delegating a multi-millennial build-up of manufactured
> >> homeland waste from savage cactus fire
> >> send toxic flares...
> >> their crafted arrows, carrying chemicals from forsaken high voltage
> >> electric needles
> >> pound across peals of vaulted sky
> >>
> >> designer rockets delegating a multi-millennial build-up of manufactured
> >> homeland waste from savage cactus fire
> >> send toxic flares...
> >> their crafted arrows, carrying chemicals from forsaken high voltage
> >> electric needles
> >> pound across peals of vaulted sky
> >> striking embowed short-circuited professional agents of authority
> >> meticulously marking mapped out morals for these ground
> >> controlled messenger vehicles
> >> of rectifying mystery spikes and metaphysics
> >> from spines which rattle and hiss
> >> controlled messenger vehicles
> >> of rectifying mystery spikes and metaphysics
> >> from spines which rattle and hiss
> >> they surround and rain down
> >> in unison, upon unsuspecting shaking venison victims
> >> injections of pacifying poison numb and shrink the dyed agar membranes
> >> of lifeless dumb prisoners of names
> >> all rounded up and stranded
> >> silos of stentorian acid stinging and singeing their neural skins
> >> escorting them, in their season to carefully doctored death time
> >> notarized, inside the charred detritus compost of collective mind
> >>
> >> blackened scarred ego
> >> cracks and is momently ruptured by young shoots of courage
> >> fiery rods sent to grasp and bloom
> >> in unknown far-off fertile fields
> >> unearthed by vindicated corporation of constructed confusion
> >> and the ominous cries of inflexible internalized coincidence
> >>
> >> rays of pitched sparks fly, offering up
> >> new memory, darkly etched under quivering animal moonlight
> >> recorded holy chains of ancient blood
> >> carved out of the steely milk-white night and seeping...into art strokes
> >> of my soul’s last breath
> >>
> >>
> >> רחל
> >> 10.15.23
> >> for SAM
>
> >> in unison, upon unsuspecting shaking venison victims
> >> injections of pacifying poison numb and shrink the dyed agar membranes
> >> of lifeless dumb prisoners of names
> >> all rounded up and stranded
> >> silos of stentorian acid stinging and singeing their neural skins
> >> escorting them, in their season to carefully doctored death time
> >> notarized, inside the charred detritus compost of collective mind
> >>
> >> blackened scarred ego
> >> cracks and is momently ruptured by young shoots of courage
> >> fiery rods sent to grasp and bloom
> >> in unknown far-off fertile fields
> >> unearthed by vindicated corporation of constructed confusion
> >> and the ominous cries of inflexible internalized coincidence
> >>
> >> rays of pitched sparks fly, offering up
> >> new memory, darkly etched under quivering animal moonlight
> >> recorded holy chains of ancient blood
> >> carved out of the steely milk-white night and seeping...into art strokes
> >> of my soul’s last breath
> >>
> >>
> >> רחל
> >> 10.15.23
> >> for SAM
>
> Again Rachel... Excellent poem on first read..!
>
>
> *****MOVED from the TROLL thread******
Again, good find.
>
>
> *****MOVED from the TROLL thread******
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