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i wrote this poem

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cheesetray

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Feb 12, 2024, 12:00:15 AM2/12/24
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and was barely following the news , but ever since , all the words have exploded into the national conversation , im just saying , its not fair ,i took them from my own pot, and they were very powerful , but now they have lost all their force due to overuse

im going to sue

cheesetray

unread,
Feb 12, 2024, 12:05:13 AM2/12/24
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because of the war i was barely even watching the news until after this , i had almost no idea what was going on , when i was done that was when i said to myself, what the hell is going on , and took a look at a week in review from pbs

cheesetray

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Feb 12, 2024, 12:20:14 AM2/12/24
to
you just have to stop before you read it and say to yourself

these are not normal descriptive words , none of these are , i have to wipe the slate clean , clear my mind , and free myself from the all-too-common exaggerated bipolar usage on pay tv and by hollywood and other entertainment mediums (if you engage in a lot of that)

this is not drama, this language for true human experience is reserved for extreme life conditions such as the impending doom of global warming, states of war, as well as, on a much smaller and more intimate scale, the burdens of excruciating mental illness

without my knowing it , hummus stole my thunder on the mountain

Will Dockery

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Feb 12, 2024, 2:03:29 AM2/12/24
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Hello there Rachel, looking forward to reading the poem.

:)

cheesetray

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Feb 12, 2024, 2:45:10 AM2/12/24
to
im ready 2 show it to u for an early viewing , but not when u are sleepy or heading off 2 bed , like now

unless my mood changes or something

not about u just in general

i dont know if ill ever write another 1 :-(((

its an awful way to live :-(((

cheesetray

unread,
Feb 12, 2024, 3:10:11 AM2/12/24
to
i swear to the best of my recollection , starting when i turned it on and started paying attention , after the pbs review , that all these descriptive words , not implying all adjectives , just any word choice , all came from the recesses of consciousness , and then i started reading, and then later , watching , and BOOM , they all started being used , like a verbal cascade of copycats

cheesetray

unread,
Feb 12, 2024, 3:40:11 AM2/12/24
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i can say with 100 % certainty....when i wrote it....the ONLY thing i got from the war , was the idea of rockets as a metaphor ...

i know this b/c i remember when i used the word terrorist , i recall quite clearly i thought to myself , hey , thats kind of like what they say happened in israel .. but ,they are the legit ruling power , or so i thought , however us classifies them as terrorists ., so it COULD BE the same...

all i knew was 250 people were killed, i thought they were gunned down, like mass shootings here in the us, and now they are firing rockets at each other

thats all i knew at that point , and rockets was the only thing i used.

after that it was all on tv and in my reading on computer and family emails

Will Dockery

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Feb 12, 2024, 3:56:16 AM2/12/24
to
I'm definitely too sleepy to read it right now.

4am here in the East, after all.

W.Dockery

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Feb 13, 2024, 6:25:10 AM2/13/24
to
cheesetray wrote:
>
> and was barely following the news , but ever since , all the words have exploded into the national conversation , im just saying , its not fair ,i took them from my own pot, and they were very powerful , but now they have lost all their force due to overuse

> im going to sue


I'll have a coffee concoction (you know what the ingredients are) and read this poem when it appears here, and, again, happy birthday week, Rachel.

:)

Will Dockery

unread,
Feb 13, 2024, 12:29:41 PM2/13/24
to
The first attack, if my memory serves me well, was on innocent Israeli citizens at a music festival.

Terrorists parachuted down, killing unarmed concert auditions members.

Of course, correct me if I'm wrong.

cheesetray

unread,
Feb 13, 2024, 1:30:22 PM2/13/24
to
thanks , will !!! its nice to read that

sooo glad you are enjoying your coffee ! :-) makes me very happy to here. your mongoloid beef for chinese new year looked FAB !!!

Will Dockery

unread,
Feb 13, 2024, 7:59:50 PM2/13/24
to
On Tuesday, February 13, 2024 at 1:30:22 PM UTC-5, cheesetray wrote:
> Will Dockery wrote:
> > cheesetray wrote:
>
> >> and was barely following the news , but ever since , all the words have exploded into the national conversation , im just saying , its not fair ,i took them from my own pot, and they were very powerful , but now they have lost all their force due to overuse
>
> >> im going to sue
>
>
> > I'll have a coffee concoction (you know what the ingredients are) and read this poem when it appears here, and, again, happy birthday week, Rachel.
>
>
> thanks , will !!! its nice to read that
>
> sooo glad you are enjoying your coffee ! :-) makes me very happy to here. your mongoloid beef for chinese new year looked FAB !!!

Yes, it was delicious.

:)

General-Zod

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Feb 14, 2024, 7:55:16 AM2/14/24
to
When will you post poem..?

cheesetray

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Feb 14, 2024, 9:30:12 PM2/14/24
to
its a romantic valentine

cheesetray

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Feb 15, 2024, 12:45:12 AM2/15/24
to
i'm not in the mood anymore

i think i sat on it too long

just forget it

Faraway Star

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Feb 15, 2024, 5:28:50 AM2/15/24
to
On Monday, February 12, 2024 at 12:00:15 AM UTC-5, cheesetray wrote:
>
> and was barely following the news , but ever since , all the words have exploded into the national conversation , im just saying , its not fair ,i took them from my own pot, and they were very powerful , but now they have lost all their force due to overuse
>
> im going to sue

Hi Rachel, I read the poem, outstanding on first read..!

General-Zod

unread,
Feb 15, 2024, 6:20:14 AM2/15/24
to
cheesetray wrote:
>
>
>> Operation Bloodless
>> (response to nancy)
>>
>>
>> phonemes charging
>> collected army
>> of hungry lit sounds
>> burst forth, bearing sharp swords, assault of
>> blades flashing, and slashing
>> thorny-armed terrorists
>> wielding surgical lasers sabres which beam and mock
>> mirror and swipe
>> with calculated precision
>> they slice
>> and cut deep, into rough stale banks of human brain joined at river’s edge
>>
>> rogue militant mission of growling stomach stampede
>> a serial procession divine particle cascade of raging cowman vomit
>> spurs rote streams spinning through desolate indifferent swampland
>> abused soil of sandy desert and abandoned dirt
>> a mounted scalding attack
>> led by sticky torches burning
>> deep below the coordinates
>> of creation’s ground zero
>> scouring petrified bovine dung and buried leaves
>> which are now all choking…
>> on the smoke
>> of viper venom
>>
>> unraveling threads recoiling
>> ravaged in instant shock
>> from this suffocating heat
>> surge of liquid flame loosed on stung conscience by the blind pricking
>> piercing of mercenaries
>> employed en masse for merciless molecular mutilation
>>
>> designer rockets delegating a multi-millennial build-up of manufactured
>> homeland waste from savage cactus fire
>> send toxic flares...
>> their crafted arrows, carrying chemicals from forsaken high voltage
>> electric needles
>> pound across peals of vaulted sky
>> striking embowed short-circuited professional agents of authority
>> meticulously marking mapped out morals for these ground
>> controlled messenger vehicles
>> of rectifying mystery spikes and metaphysics
>> from spines which rattle and hiss
>> they surround and rain down
>> in unison, upon unsuspecting shaking venison victims
>> injections of pacifying poison numb and shrink the dyed agar membranes
>> of lifeless dumb prisoners of names
>> all rounded up and stranded
>> silos of stentorian acid stinging and singeing their neural skins
>> escorting them, in their season to carefully doctored death time
>> notarized, inside the charred detritus compost of collective mind
>>
>> blackened scarred ego
>> cracks and is momently ruptured by young shoots of courage
>> fiery rods sent to grasp and bloom
>> in unknown far-off fertile fields
>> unearthed by vindicated corporation of constructed confusion
>> and the ominous cries of inflexible internalized coincidence
>>
>> rays of pitched sparks fly, offering up
>> new memory, darkly etched under quivering animal moonlight
>> recorded holy chains of ancient blood
>> carved out of the steely milk-white night and seeping...into art strokes
>> of my soul’s last breath
>>
>>
>> רחל
>> 10.15.23
>> for SAM

Again Rachel... Excellent poem on first read..!


*****MOVED from the TROLL thread******

%

unread,
Feb 15, 2024, 6:40:26 AM2/15/24
to
awww hot cute, the pissbum is slurping the ditzy twat

W.Dockery

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Feb 15, 2024, 6:55:13 AM2/15/24
to
Great, I'll make some coffee and check it out.

:)

cheesetray

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Feb 15, 2024, 8:30:18 AM2/15/24
to
thats not the poem

i didnt write it like that

he fucked with the layout

Faraway Star

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Feb 15, 2024, 3:28:35 PM2/15/24
to
I shall ignore this one then

General-Zod

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Feb 15, 2024, 4:25:14 PM2/15/24
to
Do not read....... it is not approved by Rachel...!

%

unread,
Feb 15, 2024, 5:50:04 PM2/15/24
to
it was written by 'cheesetray' whis is rachel's sock, dimmy

General-Zod

unread,
Feb 15, 2024, 5:55:16 PM2/15/24
to
Rachel has stated she does not approve of it...

cheesetray

unread,
Feb 15, 2024, 8:45:18 PM2/15/24
to
i messed around with it before, maybe too long? i futzed with it after "finishing" but the text was essentially finished quickly.


here's an approximation (unless i went through this exact one, too, i no longer recall) of how it looked before, opinions welcomed (see, now i think this is so much better, at first glance, i am not good at layout, although i believe in the version i found for memory of a time)

i thought the other way was better, in that it highlighted some of the rhyme scheme, as well as indicated pauses as i felt it when writing (but who knows, maybe i'm out of shape? uh...)


Operation Bloodless
(response to nancy)



phonemes charging...collected army of
hungry lit sounds burst forth, bearing
sharp swords, assault of blades flashing
and slashing, thorny-armed terrorists
wielding surgical lasers. sabres which
beam and mock, mirror and swipe
with calculated precision. they slice
and cut deep, into rough stale banks
of human brain joined at river’s edge

rogue militant mission, of growling stomach
stampede, a serial procession, divine particle
cascade of raging cowman vomit
spurs rote streams spinning through
desolate indifferent swampland
abused soil of sandy desert and abandoned dirt
a mounted scalding attack led by
sticky torches burning deep below the coordinates
of creation’s ground zero, scouring petrified
bovine dung and buried leaves which are now
all choking…on the smoke...of viper venom

unraveling threads recoiling, ravaged
in instant shock, from this suffocating heat
surge of liquid flame loosed on stung conscience,
by the blind pricking, piercing
of mercenaries, employed en masse for
merciless molecular mutilation

designer rockets delegating a multi-millennial
build-up of manufactured homeland waste
from savage cactus fire send toxic flares...
their crafted arrows, carrying chemicals
from forsaken high voltage electric needles
pound across peals of vaulted sky, striking
embowed short-circuited professional agents
of authority, meticulously marking
mapped out morals for these ground
controlled messenger vehicles of rectifying
mystery spikes and metaphysics from spines
which rattle and hiss. they surround and

cheesetray

unread,
Feb 15, 2024, 8:50:16 PM2/15/24
to
oops there's a typo in there so sorry!!! hang on.....

Operation Bloodless
(response to nancy)



phonemes charging...collected army of
hungry lit sounds burst forth, bearing
sharp swords, assault of blades flashing
and slashing, thorny-armed terrorists
wielding surgical lasers...sabres which

%

unread,
Feb 16, 2024, 12:43:50 AM2/16/24
to
She's a mental case

W.Dockery

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Feb 16, 2024, 10:55:12 PM2/16/24
to
The copy I have on email is free of typos?

General-Zod

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Feb 17, 2024, 3:00:17 AM2/17/24
to
Hopefully so....

W.Dockery

unread,
Feb 18, 2024, 6:50:15 AM2/18/24
to
Thanks Rachel.

Having a coffee and a read.

:)

General-Zod

unread,
Feb 18, 2024, 3:50:17 PM2/18/24
to
Hi there, how'd do..?

Faraway Star

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Feb 18, 2024, 4:20:05 PM2/18/24
to
> it was written by 'cheesetray' whis is Rachel

Hush, fool

%

unread,
Feb 19, 2024, 2:28:21 AM2/19/24
to
>> it was written by 'cheesetray' which is Rachel
>
> Hush, fool
>
http://tinyurl.com/peescent

Faraway Star

unread,
Feb 19, 2024, 2:49:48 AM2/19/24
to
Oh that's so clever... Ha ha.


"With a tear in your eye."

%

unread,
Feb 19, 2024, 4:27:45 AM2/19/24
to
https://countingdownto.com/?c=5322740

good riddance, pissbum

Faraway Star

unread,
Feb 19, 2024, 8:35:41 AM2/19/24
to
Another read, outstanding......

%

unread,
Feb 19, 2024, 10:00:32 AM2/19/24
to
play your cards right and maybe rachel aka cheesetray will allow you
to give her a hot urine shower on her head next time

Faraway Star

unread,
Feb 19, 2024, 10:26:33 AM2/19/24
to
> https://countingdownto.com/?c322740
>
> good riddance,

I ain't going nowhere... you fucked head troll...

Like I said, with a tear in your eye... Ha ha..

%

unread,
Feb 19, 2024, 10:47:47 AM2/19/24
to

General-Zod

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Feb 19, 2024, 12:15:19 PM2/19/24
to
> https://countindownto.com/?c322740

You are a clueless person, fool...

That is all.

%

unread,
Feb 19, 2024, 12:23:40 PM2/19/24
to
stfu, pissbum

Faraway Star

unread,
Feb 19, 2024, 1:03:47 PM2/19/24
to
Yes first, crybaby.... Ha ha.

General-Zod

unread,
Feb 20, 2024, 6:25:16 PM2/20/24
to
cheesetray wrote:
>
> you just have to stop before you read it and say to yourself

> these are not normal descriptive words , none of these are , i have to wipe the slate clean , clear my mind , and free myself from the all-too-common exaggerated bipolar usage on pay tv and by hollywood and other entertainment mediums (if you engage in a lot of that)

> this is not drama, this language for true human experience is reserved for extreme life conditions such as the impending doom of global warming, states of war, as well as, on a much smaller and more intimate scale, the burdens of excruciating mental illness

> without my knowing it , hummus stole my thunder on the mountain


Synchronicity...?

Faraway Star

unread,
Feb 21, 2024, 10:08:18 AM2/21/24
to
Interesting

Will Dockery

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Feb 21, 2024, 5:06:35 PM2/21/24
to
Agreed.

General-Zod

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Feb 22, 2024, 5:20:18 AM2/22/24
to
Good day, how'd do?

Will Dockery

unread,
Feb 22, 2024, 10:07:57 AM2/22/24
to
On Thursday, February 15, 2024 at 6:20:14 AM UTC-5, General-Zod wrote:
> cheesetray wrote:
> >
> >
> >> Operation Bloodless
> >> (response to nancy)
> >>
> >>
> >> phonemes charging
> >> collected army
> >> of hungry lit sounds
> >> burst forth, bearing sharp swords, assault of
> >> blades flashing, and slashing
> >> thorny-armed terrorists
> >> wielding surgical lasers sabres which beam and mock
> >> mirror and swipe
> >> with calculated precision
> >> they slice
> >> and cut deep, into rough stale banks of human brain joined at river’s edge
> >>
> >> rogue militant mission of growling stomach stampede
> >> a serial procession divine particle cascade of raging cowman vomit
> >> spurs rote streams spinning through desolate indifferent swampland
> >> abused soil of sandy desert and abandoned dirt
> >> a mounted scalding attack
> >> led by sticky torches burning
> >> deep below the coordinates
> >> of creation’s ground zero
> >> scouring petrified bovine dung and buried leaves
> >> which are now all choking…
> >> on the smoke
> >> of viper venom
> >>
> >> unraveling threads recoiling
> >> ravaged in instant shock
> >> from this suffocating heat
> >> surge of liquid flame loosed on stung conscience by the blind pricking
> >> piercing of mercenaries
> >> employed en masse for merciless molecular mutilation
> >>
> >> designer rockets delegating a multi-millennial build-up of manufactured
> >> homeland waste from savage cactus fire
> >> send toxic flares...
> >> their crafted arrows, carrying chemicals from forsaken high voltage
> >> electric needles
> >> pound across peals of vaulted sky
> >> striking embowed short-circuited professional agents of authority
> >> meticulously marking mapped out morals for these ground
> >> controlled messenger vehicles
> >> of rectifying mystery spikes and metaphysics
> >> from spines which rattle and hiss
> >> they surround and rain down
> >> in unison, upon unsuspecting shaking venison victims
> >> injections of pacifying poison numb and shrink the dyed agar membranes
> >> of lifeless dumb prisoners of names
> >> all rounded up and stranded
> >> silos of stentorian acid stinging and singeing their neural skins
> >> escorting them, in their season to carefully doctored death time
> >> notarized, inside the charred detritus compost of collective mind
> >>
> >> blackened scarred ego
> >> cracks and is momently ruptured by young shoots of courage
> >> fiery rods sent to grasp and bloom
> >> in unknown far-off fertile fields
> >> unearthed by vindicated corporation of constructed confusion
> >> and the ominous cries of inflexible internalized coincidence
> >>
> >> rays of pitched sparks fly, offering up
> >> new memory, darkly etched under quivering animal moonlight
> >> recorded holy chains of ancient blood
> >> carved out of the steely milk-white night and seeping...into art strokes
> >> of my soul’s last breath
> >>
> >>
> >> רחל
> >> 10.15.23
> >> for SAM
>
> Again Rachel... Excellent poem on first read..!
>
>
> *****MOVED from the TROLL thread******

Again, good find.
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