Another Poem by Ogden Nash--The Common Cold
whereiswisdom
Another Poem by Ogden Nash
The Common Cold
...............................
Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!
You shall no longer sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
In never paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.
By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever's hot and scaly grip;
By these two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April Skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
By handkerchief after handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever caught.
Give ear, you scientific fossil!
Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;
The Cold of which researchers dream,
The Perfect Cold, The Cold Supreme.
The honored system humbly holds
The Supercold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading to end Democracy
The Fuhrer of the Streptococcracy.
Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympian laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.
A common cold, forsooth, gadzooks!
Then Venus showed promise of good looks;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent;
The Arctic winter is rather coolish
And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
Oh what derision history holds
For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!
--
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JAS Carter
<wherei...@prodigy.net> wrote:
>Another Poem by Ogden Nash
Unless you're the ghost of Ogden Nash, stop crossposting this stuff.
If you *are* the ghost of ON, tell me a good rhyme for hippopotamus
(it's a trick question).
--
Julie Carter
http://jsgoddess.ourfamily.com
If you're not part of the solution,
you're part of the precipitate.--Henry J. Tillman
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.--John Lehman
sophie
>On Wed, 19 Jan 2000 13:07:06 -0500, "whereiswisdom"
><wherei...@prodigy.net> wrote:
>
>
>>Another Poem by Ogden Nash
>
>Unless you're the ghost of Ogden Nash, stop crossposting this stuff.
>
>If you *are* the ghost of ON, tell me a good rhyme for hippopotamus
>(it's a trick question).
I love the hippopotamus
a beastie with a lot of guts
because of this, it's very fat
I bet you never realised that.
god, I'm sorry.
--
sophie
JAS Carter
wrote:
>>>Another Poem by Ogden Nash
>>
>>Unless you're the ghost of Ogden Nash, stop crossposting this stuff.
>>
>>If you *are* the ghost of ON, tell me a good rhyme for hippopotamus
>>(it's a trick question).
>
>I love the hippopotamus
>a beastie with a lot of guts
>because of this, it's very fat
>I bet you never realised that.
>
>
>god, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I'm highly feverish and mildly hallucinatory, so I'm greatly amused.
--
Julie Carter
JAS Carter
<button...@thepentagon.com> wrote:
>Ogden's rhymes were infamous
>but your challenge is quite venomous
>for ryhming hippopotamus
>is beyond the scope of most of us.
But not beyond the wits of Dave
who came along, my day to save
and forced me into an inversion
with his witty Odgen version.
>>If you *are* the ghost of ON, tell me a good rhyme for hippopotamus
>>(it's a trick question).
Morfydd
You sounded so contrite there Sophie
I could almost see you looking at the screen
in disbelief you wrote that :0)
Mop
--
Meet the regulars and read the FAQ
http://www.minus2.co.uk/gopoems/aapc/
The Cauldron
http://www.minus2.co.uk/gopoems/
ICQ: 44518485
sophie <sop...@nospam.co.uk> wrote in message
news:UeAnvQAu...@skuff.demon.co.uk...
> JAS Carter <jsgo...@geocities.com> said...
> >On Wed, 19 Jan 2000 13:07:06 -0500, "whereiswisdom"
> ><wherei...@prodigy.net> wrote:
> >
> >
> >>Another Poem by Ogden Nash
> >
> >Unless you're the ghost of Ogden Nash, stop crossposting this stuff.
> >
> >If you *are* the ghost of ON, tell me a good rhyme for hippopotamus
> >(it's a trick question).
>
> I love the hippopotamus
> a beastie with a lot of guts
> because of this, it's very fat
> I bet you never realised that.
>
>
> god, I'm sorry.
> --
> sophie
Button Presser
--
Dave
http://www.durel.freeserve.co.uk/
Morfydd wrote in message <868ath$3q2$1...@news8.svr.pol.co.uk>...
>Smartass
>
>--
>Meet the regulars and read the FAQ
>http://www.minus2.co.uk/gopoems/aapc/
>
>
>The Cauldron
>http://www.minus2.co.uk/gopoems/
>
>ICQ: 44518485
>Button Presser <button...@thepentagon.com> wrote in message
>news:868aqq$b4n$1...@lure.pipex.net...
>> Ogden's rhymes were infamous
>> but your challenge is quite venomous
>> for ryhming hippopotamus
>> is beyond the scope of most of us.
>>
>> Dave
>> http://www.durel.freeserve.co.uk/
>>
>> JAS Carter wrote in message <388a5277...@news.supernews.com>...
>>
>> >If you *are* the ghost of ON, tell me a good rhyme for hippopotamus
>> >(it's a trick question).
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >--
>> >Julie Carter
>> >
>> >http://jsgoddess.ourfamily.com
>> >
Button Presser
Morfydd
--
Meet the regulars and read the FAQ
http://www.minus2.co.uk/gopoems/aapc/
The Cauldron
http://www.minus2.co.uk/gopoems/
ICQ: 44518485
Button Presser <button...@thepentagon.com> wrote in message
news:868aqq$b4n$1...@lure.pipex.net...
Morfydd
erm, yours I mean, not Julie's
--
Meet the regulars and read the FAQ
http://www.minus2.co.uk/gopoems/aapc/
The Cauldron
http://www.minus2.co.uk/gopoems/
ICQ: 44518485
Button Presser <button...@thepentagon.com> wrote in message
news:868b5t$bfe$1...@lure.pipex.net...
> Well I would curtsey, but Julie wants her skirt back.
>
> --
> Dave
> http://www.durel.freeserve.co.uk/
> Morfydd wrote in message <868ath$3q2$1...@news8.svr.pol.co.uk>...
Button Presser
tempt you, would I to inversions?
but a juicy word like haberdashery
will tempt me into Ogden Nashery
Dave
http://www.durel.freeserve.co.uk/
JAS Carter wrote in message <3895bb94...@news.supernews.com>...
>On Fri, 21 Jan 2000 01:03:56 -0000, "Button Presser"
><button...@thepentagon.com> wrote:
>
>>Ogden's rhymes were infamous
>>but your challenge is quite venomous
>>for ryhming hippopotamus
>>is beyond the scope of most of us.
>
>But not beyond the wits of Dave
>who came along, my day to save
>and forced me into an inversion
>with his witty Odgen version.
>
>>>If you *are* the ghost of ON, tell me a good rhyme for hippopotamus
>>>(it's a trick question).
>
>
>--
>Julie Carter
>
>
JAS Carter
<button...@thepentagon.com> wrote:
>How dare you cast such wild aspersions
>tempt you, would I to inversions?
>but a juicy word like haberdashery
>will tempt me into Ogden Nashery
I tell you, Dave, I'd be a dummy
to tempt you with that strange thingummy,
and I'm not that, though Tony says so
(and that my heart's dark as espresso).
Button Presser
has a name that rhymes with Zabaglioni
I really wouldn't let him faze yer
he's a damn good argument for euthanasia
Dave
http://www.durel.freeserve.co.uk/
JAS Carter wrote in message <3889e576....@news.ohiohills.com>...
JAS Carter
<button...@thepentagon.com> wrote:
>Tony, Baloney, that old phoney
>has a name that rhymes with Zabaglioni
>I really wouldn't let him faze yer
>he's a damn good argument for euthanasia
Here, Dave, have a cappuccino
smoother than a Paso Fino
and brought to you by Juan Valdez
(at least, that's what the label says).
JAS Carter
<button...@thepentagon.com> wrote:
>Hee
>
>I give in.
*pout*
I want more.
>JAS Carter wrote in message <3899eed0....@news.ohiohills.com>...
Button Presser
with swim in it.
G'night
Dave
http://www.durel.freeserve.co.uk/
JAS Carter wrote in message <389df3f4....@news.ohiohills.com>...
Button Presser
I give in.
Dave
http://www.durel.freeserve.co.uk/
JAS Carter wrote in message <3899eed0....@news.ohiohills.com>...
Joy Yourcenar
Carter) wrote:
>(and that my heart's dark as espresso).
brings a tear, it does. That's a sonnet line waiting for you to write
the rest.
Joy
Joy Yourcenar, Halifax, Nova Scotia
Mythologies http://ebb.ns.ca/myth
icon/graphy http://ebb.ns.ca/icon
"We began with myths and later included actual events."
-- Michael Ondaatje
JAS Carter
wrote:
>On Fri, 21 Jan 2000 18:04:20 -0500, jsgo...@geocities.com (JAS
>Carter) wrote:
>
>>(and that my heart's dark as espresso).
>
>
>brings a tear, it does. That's a sonnet line waiting for you to write
>the rest.
Perhaps, but I can't bear to use the says so rhyme in a sonnet.
jo.tabb
whereiswisdom wrote in message
<864u65$5a8u$1...@newssvr04-int.news.prodigy.com>...
>
>Another Poem by Ogden Nash
>
Donna Lewis (LadyStar)
DLewis
"jo.tabb" <jo....@bcuinternet.com> wrote in message
news:389b2...@news2.vip.uk.com...