In the Garden / George Dance
George Dance
First rose of spring
blooms in the garden
where my lady strolls.
--
George Dance
BLACKPOOLJIMMY
Watch those blasted bees
gathered in the first bloom..
They'll sting
and as the swelling grows
the scream will be
"Winter, my kingdom
for winter".
Will Dockery
Nice and simple.
"Red Lipped Stranger & other stories" by Will Dockery:
http://www.myspace.com/willdockery
Will Dockery
>
> did Leonard Cohen write it?
Ggasfly, how's your writer's block? We see you're as pathetic as ever,
either way.
--
BLACKPOOLJIMMY
> On 27-Jan-2010, BLACKPOOLJIMMY <Blackpoolji...@aol.com> wrote:
>
> <shitsnip>
>
> > Watch those blasted bees
> > gathered in the first bloom..
> > They'll sting
> > and as the swelling grows
> > the scream will be
> > "Winter, my kingdom
> > for winter".
>
Nothing my friend. Just don't like to knock on their door.
>
> You do realize that if all the bees were suddenly gone, world famine would
> almost immediately result, right?
> And we're not even talking about honey.
Didn't realize that, however, if they fuck with me, I'll fuck with
them.
Now Bee gone.
John
Reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Ralph gets a card from Lisa
"Will you Bee my friend?" : )
Will Dockery
>Will Dockery <will.dock...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > Nice and simple.
>
> Just like you,
Killfile leaking, ggasfly?
"We know." -Dennis M. Hammes, Litt. D.
--
BLACKPOOLJIMMY
John, never kick a dead horse.
BLACKPOOLJIMMY
> On 27-Jan-2010, Will Dockery <will.dock...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > Nice and simple.
>
> Just like you,
ggamble, wwhy tthe ssarcasm?
Will is a friend.
BLACKPOOLJIMMY
> On 27-Jan-2010, Will Dockery <will.dock...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> How's your repugnant illiteracy and morbid narcissism?
>
> Yes, I haven't replied to you in three years.
>
> It wasn't really that hard.
Why now?
Will Dockery
> On Jan 27, 6:48 pm, "ggamble" <gga...@burnout.net> wrote:
> > On 27-Jan-2010, Will Dockery wrote:
>
> > > Nice and simple.
>
> > Just like you,
> > minus the nice part.
>
> ggamble, wwhy tthe ssarcasm?
>
> Will is a friend.
Ggamble's a bit bitter since he hasn't managed to write a poem in a
number of years.
Ignore him and he'll crawl into the woodwork soon enough.
--
BLACKPOOLJIMMY
> On Jan 27, 6:52�pm, BLACKPOOLJIMMY <Blackpoolji...@aol.com> wrote:
>
> > > On 27-Jan-2010, Will Dockery wrote:
>
> > > > Nice and simple.
>
> > > Just like you,
> > > minus the nice part.
>
> > ggamble, wwhy tthe ssarcasm?
>
> > Will is a friend.
>
> Ggamble's a bit bitter since he hasn't managed to write a poem in a
> number of years.
>
> Ignore him and he'll crawl into the woodwork soon enough.
>
> --
> "Red Lipped Stranger & other stories" by Will Dockery:http://www.myspace.com/willdockery
Got it.
Will Dockery
>
> I've never had writer's block.
So, you'll be posting a poem this decade, ypu pathetic burnout?
"Pete the Dog"... gotta love it.
--
Hogbottom 5, May 1st:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=268065818530&ref=mf
Will Dockery
> > > > On 27-Jan-2010, Will Dockery wrote:
>
> > > > > Nice and simple.
>
> > > > Just like you,
> > > > minus the nice part.
>
> > > ggamble, wwhy tthe ssarcasm?
>
> > > Will is a friend.
>
> > Ggamble's a bit bitter since he hasn't managed to write a poem in a
> > number of years.
>
New or reposts of old material?
George Dance
> Hey, georgetroll:
>
> Is this one in the book already, or did Leonard Cohen write it?
>
> If you wrote it, I really must ask:
>
> What's it feel like to have absolutely nothing to say?
Thanks for commenting, ggarbage. Like all your "critiques," this one
needs to be archived.
BLACKPOOLJIMMY
>
> No wonder you're friends with dockery, you both wallow luxuriously in your
> ignorant bath.
>
> Do you like to play *tough guy*, in real life too?
If challenged, yes. Here? Just words on a screen.
Do you think arguing about the Bee and all it's done for the planet,
is worthwhile? I don't. I guess that makes me a "tough guy"
Grow up, silly guy.
Ma1T3aM
> On 27-Jan-2010, Will Dockery <will.dock...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > "Pete the Dog"... gotta love it.
>
>
> I'm surprised you'd bring it up.
>
> Just like I'm surprised that you would pretend that Dennis was ever your
> ally even once on any given discussion
> not even once.
> never once
> not once.
> As in, never.
>
> I could go look for it if I wanted to, but you look bad enough as it is.
>
> Get your boyfriend george (or one of his many socks) to look it up for you.
>
> I think the search phrase would be something like: you just don't have the
> teeth for it.
That should be a new "one."
Have you arrived at Gary's Killfile?
If not, good luck to you.
(This is, actually, a test. I hope and pray I pass.)
Ma1T3aM
> On 27-Jan-2010, BLACKPOOLJIMMY <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote:
>
> > Do you think arguing about the Bee and all it's done for the planet,
> > is worthwhile? I don't.
>
>
> > I guess that makes me a "tough guy"
>
> guarantees that (unless you have a frightful change of worldview) you'll
> never, ever write anything that doesn't suck.
>
> Fuck me, where did all the illiterate morons come from?
Will...how did you get here? (Gary's killfile.)
And, what did you do to get off of it?
(These are actually important usenet inquiries.)
G&tSP
> On 27-Jan-2010, Will Dockery <will.dock...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > "Pete the Dog"... gotta love it.
>
>
Karla also praised 'chit,' didn't she? In fact, she praises every
"poem" you write, doesn't she?
Then again, Karla has to both praise your poems, and keep trying to
Will's face off, so that Gary & the Shit People will leave her poetry
alone here, doesn't she?
Ma1T3aM
The question is, actually...if I may, George...seriously:
How does one get on Gary's killfile and stay on?
I think many people would love to know the secret.
I might have found it. I bet I could sell it for cash money.
I might make a pretty penny in the process.
G&tSP
> On Jan 27, 6:42 pm, "G&tSP" <gand...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
>
> > On Jan 27, 8:30 pm, "ggamble" <g...@youbet.net> wrote:
>
> > > On 27-Jan-2010, Will Dockery <will.dock...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > "Pete the Dog"... gotta love it.
>
> > > Karla has already ripped your face off for you on this subject a while ago.
>
> > Karla also praised 'chit,' didn't she? In fact, she praises every
> > "poem" you write, doesn't she?
>
> > Will's face off, so that Gary & the Shit People will leave her poetry
> > alone here, doesn't she?
>
> The question is, actually...if I may, George...seriously:
>
> How does one get on Gary's killfile and stay on?
>
Seriously: I don't believe there is a Gary's killfile. Gary Gamble is
a Shit Person, and if a Shit Person doesn't like you, he's not going
to killfile you: he'll write about you sucking cocks, or eating shit,
or fucking children; things like that. That's because Shit People like
Gary Gamble enjoy writing about things like sucking cocks, eating
shit, or raping children; why spoil the opportunity with a killfile?
> I think many people would love to know the secret.
>
> I might have found it. I bet I could sell it for cash money.
> I might make a pretty penny in the process.
The only way ever found effective in stopping Gary Gamble and the
other SP from reading and commenting on your work on AAPC is to leave
AAPC -- and that costs nothing at all. Which is probably a big part of
why, in the years I've been reading and posting on AAPC, I've seen so
many poets and wannabes go that route.
Ma1T3aM
>
> Now, that I've got you under my command, could you please go fuck yourself?
>
> Thanks in advance.
Ma1T3aM
Dang it, George...I was being serious.
Now, you've gone and splashed cold water on it.
Can't I have my fantasy? Please?
How to get on Gary Gambles Killfile and stay there:
1) praise him constantly...even while he's cyber-dry-humping you.
2) mimic his games to show that he hasn't been killfiled by you.
3) praise his cyber-friends constantly...it puts him in an awkward
place.
4) when you critique his poetry, kiss his ass...(he'll still cyber-
dry-hump you,
but please follow these directions to the tee.
5) if you feel that you've been killfiled by him, test it...don't
ignore Gary...ever.
6) whatever you do, don't allow Gary to get under your skin...he
loves
it when he has you pissed off at the world which means he
probalby
won't killfile you...like a fish, he thinks he's "got one."
7) try to be on good terms or even cyber-friends with the posters he
hates...
you'll need this step later when testing whether you've been
killfiled,
or not.
8) if worst comes to worst, lash out at Gary...who knows, he might
become
afraid of you and leave you alone....it doesn't hurt to try.
Do you have any to add, George?
G&tSP
> On 27-Jan-2010, "G&tSP" <gand...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
>
> > On Jan 27, 8:30 pm, "ggamble" <g...@youbet.net> wrote:
> > > On 27-Jan-2010, Will Dockery <will.dock...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > "Pete the Dog"... gotta love it.
>
> > > Karla has already ripped your face off for you on this subject a while
> > > ago.
>
> > Karla also praised 'chit,' didn't she? In fact, she praises every
> > "poem" you write, doesn't she?
>
She not only praises them, but flames the people who criticizes them.
> She doesn't like some.
Oh, bullshit. She licks your asshole every time. I've been reading.
> She offers intelligent commentary on some.
When she can come up with some. When she can't do that, for swill like
~chit~ or ~Pete the Dog is Gone From the Street~, she'll just try to
pick a fight with anyone who criticizes them.
> That's the way a fucken poetry workshop works.
You seem to be confusing poetry workshops with poetry cliques.
> You would know that if you had ever actually participated in one
I've participated in both workshops and cliques. I know how they
work.
> , troll.
Heh! Should I compile, from memory, a list of all the poets that Gary
Gamble has called a troll?
> > Then again, Karla has to both praise your poems, and keep trying to
> > Will's face off, so that Gary & the Shit People will leave her poetry
> > alone here, doesn't she?
>
> That's very good george.
>
> Except you got all excited and your fingers got tangled up.
Yes, you're right, workshop coach. I must revise:
Karla also praised ~chit,~ didn't she? In fact, she praises every
"poem" you write, doesn't she?
Then again, Karla has to both praise your "poems," and keep trying to
rip Will's face off and piss down his throat, so that Gary & the Shit
People will leave her poetry alone here, doesn't she?
That better?
>
> I commanded you to go fire up your sockpuppets, and you obliged so promptly!
>
Silly boy, you know the Gary & the Shit People sock is the one I use
for you (though you haven't a clue why).
> Good boy!
>
> Now, that I've got you under my command, could you please
... tell you that you forgot to answer my questions, and repeat them?
Yes, Master.
You forgot to answer my questions. Let me repeat them:
Karla also praised ~chit,~ didn't she? In fact, she praises every
"poem" you write, doesn't she?
Then again, Karla has to both praise your "poems," and keep trying to
rip Will's face off and piss down his throat, so that Gary & the Shit
rain_shadow
> In the Garden
>
> First rose of spring
> blooms in the garden
> where my lady strolls.
>
> --
> George Dance
George,
This poem needs an exclamation point -- a punch line, if you will.
Maybe a word that shows how she feels about spring or the roses or
even the walkway where she strolls.
IMHO.
/z.
Ma1T3aM
> On Jan 27, 8:55 pm, "ggamble" <g...@youbet.net> wrote:
>
> > On 27-Jan-2010, -hi- <hieronymous...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > embarrassing stares
>
> > Write what you know, dude.
>
> Okay, let's see ... how to begin this ... Once upon a time, long,
> long
> ago, in a far off, distant ... Wait, no. Let's stop right there,
> before this thing goes off track right at the outset. I don't want
> you to get the idea that this is some fantasy, some science fiction,
> some pretty fairy tale, because it's not. This is real science, or
> at
> least a real humble, real amateurish representation of it. And I do
> mean real, like in real real, like in as real as it gets.
>
> Anyway, back to what I was saying ... one time I had this thought ...
> "E=mc2" ... Okay, fine. Not my thought. I borrowed it. I assumed
> it was okay. Whoever thought it (and I think we all know who that
> was), it seemed like a good place to start if I wanted to lose a
> little weight, which I did. Energy equals mass times velocity
> squared. That's elegant. That's eloquent. That's simple. I'm no
> brainiac, but I can do simple math, and I figure that simple formula
> was my key to getting rid of a few unwanted pounds. I have a
> treadmill, a Sole F80. It was my 'big present' to myself last year;
> cost me almost two grand. It's got a brain, or at least a
> calculator. It tells me how long I've been on it; how far I've gone;
> my approximate calorie burn; and my heart rate. I've got an old
> fashioned doctor's office scale that measures my height, and weight.
>
> Excuse me a minute. Duty calls. Let me know if you're interested,
> and I'll continue my little ... reality series.
>
> -hi-http://hieronymous707.blogspot.com/
hi hi
i'm glad you opened up your new blog.
it's a cool thing to do.
i've added it to my list of fun things to do.
matt
George Dance
So was I; though I might be wrong about the motive. Maybe Gary and the
other SP simply want to drive everyone else who writes poetry away, so
they can play big fish in a small, shallow pond. Who knows?
> Now, you've gone and splashed cold water on it.
> Can't I have my fantasy? Please?
Well, if the result was that you stopped being serious, then that was
all to the good. I think you're at your best when you write
satirically. Here, for instance:
>
> How to get on Gary Gambles Killfile and stay there:
>
> 1) praise him constantly...even while he's cyber-dry-humping you.
>
> 2) mimic his games to show that he hasn't been killfiled by you.
>
> 3) praise his cyber-friends constantly...it puts him in an awkward
> place.
>
> 4) when you critique his poetry, kiss his ass...(he'll still cyber-
> dry-hump you,
> but please follow these directions to the tee.
>
> 5) if you feel that you've been killfiled by him, test it...don't
> ignore Gary...ever.
>
> 6) whatever you do, don't allow Gary to get under your skin...he
> loves
> it when he has you pissed off at the world which means he
> probalby
> won't killfile you...like a fish, he thinks he's "got one."
>
> 7) try to be on good terms or even cyber-friends with the posters he
> hates...
> you'll need this step later when testing whether you've been
> killfiled,
> or not.
>
> 8) if worst comes to worst, lash out at Gary...who knows, he might
> become
> afraid of you and leave you alone....it doesn't hurt to try.
>
> Do you have any to add, George?
10) Reply to all his flames, snip all his comments, and promote your
new video in every reply.
(I think that's how Will Dockery managed to do it, at least until
recently.)
George Dance
> On 27-Jan-2010, "G&tSP" <gand...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
>
>
> george, why are you so afraid to use your real name
All of a sudden, the troll who has never made a post to AAPC using his
real name is concerned about "sockpuppets."
I wonder what the fuck is wrong with him.
Ma1T3aM
ah...drive people way from the group.
i believe that subject matter has come up
before. how interesting things get when
we mimic the SP's. all of the sudden,
they start leaving the group. yet, a mirror
is just that...a mirror. and, that might
be something people like gary have
a hard time gazing into...just maybe.
oh, that's perfect...thank you...you made my evening.
darn...i have no youtube, myspace, twitter, or facebook
to offer. it might be worth it to become vainglorious
to get on gary's killfile. however, if that can't be done,
there are plenty of other things to do.
on with the "work."
Ma1T3aM
i'm pretty sure he would be a dr. phil
show in itself.
=z=
i read your page...no more than a bunch of rambling garbage...i bet
you think of you when you're playing with yourself....
Ma1T3aM
just changing the header back to its original title.
=z=
hieronymous 6909-your're no more than a slap...shut up shutting the
fuck up....jackass-707
Ma1T3aM
"can't you see
oh, can't you see
what that women, lord
has been doing to me?"
=z=
>
> - Show quoted text -
had an aparment in the city
me and loretta like living there
it's been years since the kids have grown
lives of their own, left us alone
you know old trees they just grow stronger
old rivers grow wider every day
but old people, they just grow lonesome
waiting for someone to say
hello in there, hello...
john prine
http://s0.ilike.com/play#John+Prine:Hello+In+There:198010:s40135721.10760220.2409417.0.2.128%2Cstd_e2c46b2a79554ac19685c276502e4a08
i don’t know if that link works…but prine is easy enough to look up…
G&tSP
> george, try not to wear your supreme disappointment on your sleeve so much.
> It's unbecoming in a person your age.
Karla told me something like that not long ago: "You're just jealous
because nobody licks your asshole" (or WTTE). Funny how you two speak
with one voice so much, right?
> You really should devote more energy into your own writing rather than
> freaking out over the commentary I get on mine.
I only point out your mutual asshole-licking with "Karla and
others" (as Dale used to describe the SP clique) when you come
trotting up to piss on someone's poetry, you know. So if you're
sincere in that belief, you could always try trolling less.
> Ya know?
As Karla would say, "Yep, You betcha.
> you write superficial, one-dimensional, slop straightjacketed into
> some form you demonstrably do not understand.
And yet, according to you, I don't write any poetry but steal it all.
You're contradicting yourself.
> If you could get your big, bruised ego out of the fucken way, perhaps you
> would improve.
LOL! As if you had anything to teach me, or to teach anyone, FTM. .
> It really bothers you what Karla said about my poems.
> Ask yourself why.
Karla used to try to write poetry; what you and the other SP have
turned her
into saddens me.
> Now, fuck off.
Oooh, the big bad twoll's fwaming me. Wun away, wun away ...
Will Dockery
>
> You really should devote more energy into your own writing rather than
> freaking out over the commentary I get on mine.
We've enjoyed the commentary you got on your last poem, "Regrets of
the Nam":
http://groups.google.sm/group/us.arts.poetry/msg/9ecc4606dc21a780
Let's hope that your writer's block will end someday soon so he can
write more poetry, Ggary!
--
"Red Lipped Stranger & other stories" by Will Dockery:
http://www.myspace.com/willdockery
Will Dockery
11) Never let Ggamble forget that he's the bitter burnout with
writer's block, and that his greatest moments were "Pete The Dog" &
"Regrets of the Nam".
Will Dockery
"ggasfly" Gamble, also:
or
http://tinyurl.com/Regrets-of-the-Nam-ggamble
Will Dockery
>
> No wonder you're friends with dockery <slap>
Still obsessed with me, Ggamble?
Will Dockery
>Will Dockery wrote:
>>Cythera <cyth...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>
> > > I've read two from '09
>
> > New or reposts of old material?
>
> Why does that matter to you?
Because: "...Ggamble's a bit bitter since he hasn't managed to write a
poem in a number of years."
Will Dockery
Ah, good... let's get back to the poetry.
Ma1T3aM
amen!
Will Dockery
>
> You've learned well from dockery
You're still obsessed with "Will Dockery", I see... no wonder you had to
stop pretending to ignore me, Ggamble.
Karla
>On Jan 27, 8:53�pm, "ggamble" <g...@youbet.net> wrote:
>> On 27-Jan-2010, "G&tSP" <gand...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
>>
>> > On Jan 27, 8:30�pm, "ggamble" <g...@youbet.net> wrote:
>> > > On 27-Jan-2010, Will Dockery <will.dock...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> > > > "Pete the Dog"... gotta love it.
>>
>> > > Karla has already ripped your face off for you on this subject a while
>> > > ago.
>>
>> > Karla also praised 'chit,' didn't she? In fact, she praises every
>> > "poem" you write, doesn't she?
>>
>> She praises some.
>
>She not only praises them, but flames the people who criticizes them.
>
>> She doesn't like some.
>
>Oh, bullshit. She licks your asshole every time. I've been reading.
>
>> She offers intelligent commentary on some.
>
>When she can come up with some. When she can't do that, for swill like
>~chit~ or ~Pete the Dog is Gone From the Street~, she'll just try to
>pick a fight with anyone who criticizes them.
I found my critique of "chit" - what's wrong with it? Serious question. Why
isn't it "serious commentary"?
Begin Post
=======================
On Thu, 26 Feb 2009 05:15:42 GMT, "ggamble" <g...@youbet.net> wrote:
>A muffled plonk-
>a mere chit
>of bloodsmudged down
>waving on the doublepane
>half a handful
>still warm
>glazed eye
>so light with his little
>brittle hollow bones.
The sounds in the last two lines are my favorite part of the poem. Your
five shows up best there where light bleeds into little, which bleeds into
britt le, brittle into hollow, hollow into bones. Dawdling over those
words, it doesn't bother me that I read the poem numerous times searching
for a verb. The last two lines echo the fate of the chit. We hear the sound
change beginning with the bright "i" of light, ending with the gonging
sounds of "hollow bones".
Though I agree with Peter about "glazed eye", I appreciate it's reach
upwards and downwards; there's a temptation to break after "glazed",
reading "eye / so light" - a minute of froth.
I'm least fond of the repeated word order in the first two lines.
Your line breaks work.
Thanks,
Karla
=======================
End Post
Message-ID: <q40fq4hunkmh6ms0v...@4ax.com>
>> That's the way a fucken poetry workshop works.
>
>You seem to be confusing poetry workshops with poetry cliques.
>
>> You would know that if you had ever actually participated in one
>
>I've participated in both workshops and cliques. I know how they
>work.
>
>> , troll.
>
>Heh! Should I compile, from memory, a list of all the poets that Gary
>Gamble has called a troll?
>
>
>> > Then again, Karla has to both praise your poems, and keep trying to
>> > Will's face off, so that Gary & the Shit People will leave her poetry
>> > alone here, doesn't she?
>>
>> That's very good george.
>>
>> Except you got all excited and your fingers got tangled up.
>
>Yes, you're right, workshop coach. I must revise:
>
>Karla also praised ~chit,~ didn't she? In fact, she praises every
>"poem" you write, doesn't she?
>
>Then again, Karla has to both praise your "poems," and keep trying to
>rip Will's face off and piss down his throat, so that Gary & the Shit
>People will leave her poetry alone here, doesn't she?
>
>That better?
>
>>
>> I commanded you to go fire up your sockpuppets, and you obliged so promptly!
>>
>
>Silly boy, you know the Gary & the Shit People sock is the one I use
>for you (though you haven't a clue why).
>
>
>> Good boy!
>>
>> Now, that I've got you under my command, could you please
>
>... tell you that you forgot to answer my questions, and repeat them?
>Yes, Master.
>
>You forgot to answer my questions. Let me repeat them:
>
>Karla also praised ~chit,~ didn't she? In fact, she praises every
>"poem" you write, doesn't she?
>
>Then again, Karla has to both praise your "poems," and keep trying to
>rip Will's face off and piss down his throat, so that Gary & the Shit
G&tSP
> On Jan 27, 2:22 pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
>
> > In the Garden
>
> > First rose of spring
> > blooms in the garden
> > where my lady strolls.
>
> > --
> > George Dance
>
> George,
>
> This poem needs an exclamation point -- a punch line, if you will.
> Maybe a word that shows how she feels about spring or the roses or
> even the walkway where she strolls.
> IMHO.
>
> /z.
Thanks for reading and commenting on the poem, Zita. I reread it and
see exactly what you mean (and, both Will's "nice and simple" comment
and what ggamble meant as well about "nothing to say.") The poem
doesn't tell us anything about the lady or the rose or her thoughts or
the speaker's thoughts or anything at all: all it does is show the two
images of the rose and the lady, and let the reader fill them with his
or her own thoughts and associations (or not). It's a shallow if empty
vessel: All that a reader would get out of it is what a reader brings
to it.
In that sense, though, it succeeds as what I was trying to write: a
classic haiku. I've written 3 line poems before, but none of them were
ever actual haiku because I've never tried to write one; I've just
used the form (like I use all forms) to write the type of poem I want.
This one was different, though.
Let me tell you the genesis. On another group I've been
"mentoring" (his word, not mine!) a new would-be poet who's started
posting there. I've commented favorably on his attempted haiku before,
but I've criticized them, too. One thing I told him was that haiku
doesn't use metaphors. He responded to that by sending me a batch of
new, which were quite effective pictures, but of only one image each;
and added proudly that he'd left out all the metaphors. So I realized
I hadn't told him the right thing, and went on to tell him how haiku
is used to juxtapose images no less than Occidental poetry.
Specifically, I wanted to show him what a haiku would do instead of
using metaphor. Unfortunately or not, the only example of metaphor I
could come up with was Robert Burns', "My love is like a red, red,
rose". This was meant to be how Burns would have written that had he
been Japanese and writing haiku.
I think it's succeeded in that, judging how it's worked as a Rorschach
print. I've had some readers tell me about the metaphor that's not
there, and personification that's not there (the rose comes out to see
the lady's beauty), and some who found little or nothing there. As
that's how haiku hits me, I think it works as what it is -- as you
correctly point out, it could be so much more; but I can't add any of
that without spoiling what it is, betraying its integrity in effect.
(I should add, in case I've got you interested in that other poet,
that he'll do just fine, as he's found and is reading a real mentor:
Issa. I've asked him to write more, and I'm sure there'll be a new
bunch in my inbox this weekend.)
George Dance
> On Jan 27, 2:22 pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
>
> > In the Garden
>
> > First rose of spring
> > blooms in the garden
> > where my lady strolls.
>
> > --
> > George Dance
>
> George,
>
> This poem needs an exclamation point -- a punch line, if you will.
> Maybe a word that shows how she feels about spring or the roses or
> even the walkway where she strolls.
> IMHO.
>
> /z.
Sorry for the duplicate reply. I just woke up, and didn't realize I
still had my sock on; and it occurred to me you might not be reading
posts from that 'from:'. (I'd really urge you not to!). So here's a
copy from George Dance.
Barbara's Cat
> Goober Duck Dance quacked:
>
> > Squeaky Squitter squeaked:
> >
> > > Goober Duck Dockery quacked:
> > >
> > > > Goober Duck Dance quacked:
> > > >
> > > > > Squeaky Squitter squeaked:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Goober Duck Dockery quacked:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Goober Duck Dance quacked:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Squeaky Squitter squeaked:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Goober Duck Dockery quacked:
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Q U A C K ! ggamble! Q U A C K !
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > s q u e a k ! ggamble! s q u e a k !
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Q U A C K ! ggamble! Q U A C K !
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Q U A C K ! ggamble! Q U A C K !
> > > > > >
> > > > > > s q u e a k ! ggamble! s q u e a k !
> > > > >
> > > > > Q U A C K ! ggamble! Q U A C K !
> > > >
> > > > Q U A C K ! ggamble! Q U A C K !
> > >
> > > s q u e a k ! ggamble! s q u e a k !
> >
> > Q U A C K ! ggamble! Q U A C K !
>
> Q U A C K ! ggamble! Q U A C K !
Heh. It certainly doesn't take a lot to
set you farm critters off into a frenzy.
How does it feel to be so very enslaved
to your "cause"?
Not that I really care, just curious.
--
Cm~
"True freedom is where an individual's thoughts and actions are
in alignment with that which is true, correct, and of honor --
no matter the personal price."
- Bryant H McGill
Barbara's Cat
> Since you haven't actually been on a farm in recent memory
Are you absolutely certain about that?
--
Cm~
"True wisdom is less presuming than folly.
The wise man doubteth often, and changeth his mind;
the fool is obstinate, and doubteth not;
he knoweth all things but his own ignorance."
- Akhenaton
Will Dockery
> On Jan 27, 9:53 pm, rain_shadow <zphysi...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > On Jan 27, 2:22 pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
>
> > > In the Garden
>
> > > First rose of spring
> > > blooms in the garden
> > > where my lady strolls.
>
> > > --
> > > George Dance
>
> > George,
>
> > This poem needs an exclamation point -- a punch line, if you will.
> > Maybe a word that shows how she feels about spring or the roses or
> > even the walkway where she strolls.
> > IMHO.
>
> > /z.
>
> Thanks for reading and commenting on the poem, Zita. I reread it and
> see exactly what you mean (and, both Will's "nice and simple" comment
Well, I did mean the comment in a good way, "nice & simple" is
attractive in poetry & song to me sometimes & in others often if not
always.
I agree with Zita that one more line/image would cap it nicely,
though.
The piece reminds me strongly of the obscure poet-songwriter David
Blue, just for a sidnote thought, here, not for much else but just an
early morning not-even-awake-yet thought:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiHM0hotkPo
I'll read and respond to the rest of this after coffee, literally just
awoke!
Barbara's Cat
> Barbara's Cat wrote:
>
> > -hi- said:
> >
> > > Since you haven't actually been on a farm in recent memory
> >
> >
> > Are you absolutely certain about that?
>
>
> Of course not. Don't be silly.
I didn't make the ignorant, presumptuous comment,
you did.
> I no more know your habits than I do doc's. You just sound like
> a farm is unfamiliar territory for you, that's all.
Then you should have your hearing checked because
it appears you're hearing noises that don't exist.
> No offense intended, dude.
"Of course not."
--
Cm~
"Acting is all about honesty.
If you can fake that, you've got it made."
- George Burns
=z=
> On Jan 28, 11:02 am, Barbara's Cat <c...@XSPAMscientist.com> wrote:
>
> > -hi- said:
>
> > > Since you haven't actually been on a farm in recent memory
>
> > Are you absolutely certain about that?
>
> doc's. You just sound like a farm is unfamiliar territory for you,
> all I know.
>
> -hi-
cat, what is it with all this critter crap?...can't you come up with
something better?...oink, meow, moo, roar, squawk, moan, and dance
between the sheets...wtf, over?
Barbara's Cat
> cat, what is it with all this critter crap?
More than 100 posts of barnyard-like noises
made yesterday should be explanation enough.
> oink, meow, moo, roar, squawk, moan
I see you have also waded through the posts.
--
Cm~
"Human identity is the most fragile thing that we have,
and it's often only found in moments of truth."
- Alan Rudolph
Will Dockery
> On Jan 28, 11:02 am, Barbara's Cat <c...@XSPAMscientist.com> wrote:
>
> > > Since you haven't actually been on a farm in recent memory
>
> > Are you absolutely certain about that?
>
> doc's. You just sound like a farm is unfamiliar territory for you,
> that's all. No offense intended, dude. You could be Farmer Bob, for
> all I know.
>
> -hi-
Cat's notions on farms and farm animals do seem kind of cartoonish and
unrealistic.
--
"Truck Stop Woman" by Will Dockery (the video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvtQEf7bnfs
Will Dockery
>
> repeat the lie enough and you can wink and pretend it's the truth.
I've seen this tactic tried here countless times, ggamble,
interestingly it is often /your/ tactic of smearing someone, such as
your attempts on George Dance, yesterday.
My solution is to always try to follow-up with the truth, and set the
record straight... just as I did here, today.
Barbara's Cat
> Tha[snipped]
It seems you took my commenting on your ignorance
as a request for you to continue bleating at me.
I assure you, it wasn't.
--
Cm~
"There's no point breaking a lot of crockery unnecessarily."
- J Carter Brown
Will Dockery
>
> Seriously: I don't believe there is a Gary's killfile. Gary Gamble is
> a Shit Person, and if a Shit Person doesn't like you, he's not going
> to killfile you: he'll write about you sucking cocks, or eating shit,
> or fucking children; things like that. That's because Shit People like
> Gary Gamble enjoy writing about things like sucking cocks, eating
> shit, or raping children; why spoil the opportunity with a killfile?
As Gary Gamble describes his and his fellow thugs' method: "repeat the
lie enough and you can wink and pretend it's the truth."
> The only way ever found effective in stopping Gary Gamble and the
> other SP from reading and commenting on your work on AAPC is to leave
> AAPC -- and that costs nothing at all. Which is probably a big part of
> why, in the years I've been reading and posting on AAPC, I've seen so
> many poets and wannabes go that route.
That's the obvious agenda, and most of them don't even bother to deny
it.
=z=
disconcerting & ignorance...two very congenial wordings...have at it
twisters...
=z=
Will Dockery
>
> "repeat the lie enough and you can wink and pretend it's the truth." -Gary Gamble
"We know." -Dennis M. Hammes, Litt. D.
=z=
> On Jan 28, 11:50 am, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > cat, what is it with all this critter crap?...can't you come up with
> > something better?...oink, meow, moo, roar, squawk, moan, and dance
> > between the sheets...wtf, over?
>
>
> -hi-
quit making me laugh so much...
Will Dockery
>
> "repeat the lie enough and you can wink and pretend it's the truth." -Gary Gamble
Go ahead and lie, Ggamble... I'll be here to set the record straight,
as always.
Will Dockery
http://tinyurl.com/Regrets-of-the-Nam-ggamble
No wonder you seem so angry, Gary... and no wonder you gave up writing
poetry.
Will Dockery
>"ggamble" <gga...@burnout.net> wrote:
>
>> "repeat the lie enough and you can wink and pretend it's the truth." -Gary Gamble
>
That's no surprise, MP.
> "We know." -Dennis M. Hammes, Litt. D.
>
> ...heh
Yeah... we do.
=z=
> George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> >sucking cocks, eating shit,
> >fucking children
>
> "We know." -Dennis M. Hammes, Litt. D.
aw, man that's bad news...sick stuff there associate...i'm ashamed of
you...knock that off...really...knock that shit off...don't mention
children in your posts...you hear me...fuck that noise...and i am not
kidding...
=z=