We somebodies /rev
Bearplug Bearplug Bearplug
We somebodies, pieces of His blood
must have hauled a whole
side of beef off the highway quick,
when it became evident to our
naked eyes that a truck had slid
off the side of the great highway,
and the driver must have died.
Out came we rivers of men to try
and haul the whole thing off
to the woods, the woods we know,
but to leave it rotting.
Because we found no ready frame
that day in the neighborhood
to drape that poor man across,
because we found no ready frame.
The cops came when it was relayed
that a child had been slaughtered
in the park, and just hanging
around or something.
When the red lights caught us
reading the baby's entrails there
well we knew, our faith was through.
automattick
wrote:
*just curious, why didn't you capitalize "great highway?"
esp since you did capitalize "His" in opening line.
i love "the whole thing" in the second stanza...
it really makes the reader wonder what this is...
it isolates the information given in the first stanza...
it's almost as if we're talking about something else.
the over all surreal feel to the piece lends itself further
to the possibility that something very difficult to explain
has either taken place, or is about to happen. o, what
a difference a few words make.
"out came rivers of men" reminds me of seamen, or ejaculation
followed by the "woods." also, since "naked" was mentioned
in the first stanza, the reader won't mind going there.
"just hanging around or something..."
really supports "the whole thing" by sprinkling
vagueness into the already muddy surreal feel.
"...or something" adds a dream-like texture
to the narrative.
what about an UNBORN child had been slaughtered
in the park..? (the masturbating flasher caught
red handed...caught just "hanging around," har har har.)
interesting stuff. kind of surreal, macabre and
violent with sexual overtones. also, sounds
almost lyrical when enunciated.
Ring around the rosy,
A pocket full of posies;
ashes, ashes
we all fall down!
when thought of in a different context,
this simple little nursery rhyme turns into
an all out slaughter. your poem doesn't
quite have the same effect, but for some
reason this idea came to mind.
matt
Bearplug Bearplug Bearplug
Date: Wed, Aug 12, 2009, 5:02am From: qop...@gmail.com (automattick)
On Aug 11, 4:19 pm, Id...@webtv.net (Bearplug Bearplug Bearplug)
wrote:
>>We somebodies, pieces of His blood
>>must have hauled a whole
>>side of beef off the highway quick,
>>when it became evident to our
>>naked eyes that a truck had slid
>>off the side of the great highway,
>>and the driver must have died.
>>Out came we rivers of men to try
>>and haul the whole thing off
>>to the woods, the woods we know,
>>but to leave it rotting.
>>Because we found no ready frame
>>that day in the neighborhood
>>to drape that poor man across,
>>because we found no ready frame.
>>The cops came when it was relayed
>>that a child had been slaughtered
>>in the park, and just hanging
>>around or something.
>>When the red lights caught us
>>reading the baby's entrails there
>>well we knew, our faith was through.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
>*just curious, why didn't you capitalize
>"great highway?" esp since you did
>capitalize "His" in opening line.
The great highway is not named. He is.
>"out came rivers of men" reminds
>me of seamen, or ejaculation followed
>by the "woods." also, since "naked"
>was mentioned in the first stanza, the
>reader won't mind going there.
No puns were intended in the torture of this verse.
>Ring around the rosy,
>A pocket full of posies;
>ashes, ashes
>we all fall down!
>when thought of in a different context,
>this simple little nursery rhyme turns
>into an all out slaughter.
True. In fact it's an old Hoagy Carmichael song about the bubonic plague
in Europe.
>matt
automattick
wrote:
> Date: Wed, Aug 12, 2009, 5:02am From: qoph...@gmail.com (automattick)
> On Aug 11, 4:19 pm, Id...@webtv.net (Bearplug Bearplug Bearplug)
>
> >Ring around the rosy,
> >A pocket full of posies;
> >ashes, ashes
> >we all fall down!
> >when thought of in a different context,
> >this simple little nursery rhyme turns
> >into an all out slaughter.
>
> True. In fact it's an old Hoagy Carmichael song about the bubonic plague
> in Europe.
>
>
>
> >matt- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
you're so funny...i can't remember the
last time i laughed so hard. it's a nursery
rhyme, silly. the myth that it covers the
bubonic plague is a sick joke.
har har har
matt