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Firesign Theatre: Introduction and Table of Contents

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Niles D. Ritter

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Dec 13, 1993, 1:14:06 PM12/13/93

Archive-name: firesign-theatre/intro
Last-modified: 1993/12/13
Version: 1.8

About This Archive
------------------

This archive is posted monthly to alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre,
alt.fan.firesign-theatre, alt.answers, and news.answers. It is
also available via anonymous ftp to rtfm.mit.edu in the
directory /pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*, or by
sending e-mail to mail-...@rtfm.mit.edu with the message
"send usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*". Include the line
"help" in the message for more information on the server.

Changes:

1. New CD's out

The Firesign Theatre: Introduction & Table of Contents
======================================================

This series of files is intended to provide a general information base
for discussion, and answer some frequently-asked questions posted on
alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre and its mirror-clone alt.fan.firesign-theatre.
For the rest of this document "alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre" will be used
to refer to both groups.

Additions and corrections to this file should be directed to the FAQ
editor (###-a fancy title for n...@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov (Niles Ritter).

Some portions of this document are copyrighted by the members of the
Firesign Theatre; you may want to get permission before using parts
of this document in *for-profit* publication -- we are their
fans, after all!

PC Disclaimer: Any terms below considered derogatory to ethnic groups
are used only in a *satirical* manner. A Bozo would never offend
anyone! Honk! Honk!

###-Editor's remarks are denoted by three #'s

Table Of Contents
=================

(Each "Side" is a separate file.)

Side 1) Firesign Theatre: Introduction

1.1) Who Am Us, Anyway?
1.1.1) The Four or Five Crazy Guys
1.1.2) A Forward Into the Past History
1.1.3) The newsgroups and fan clubs

1.2) Published Works
1.2.1) Radio/TV/Stage production
1.2.2) Vinyl
1.2.3) Video
1.2.4) Books
1.2.5) CD's

1.3) References
1.3.1) Interviews/articles on FT
1.3.2) Literary References/Background

Side 2) Firesign Theatre: Frequently Asked questions

2.1) How Can I Get Copies of this FAQ?
2.2) How can I contact the NewsGroup with E-mail?
2.3) Any Reunions going on ?
2.4) Where are they now ?
2.5) Common FT Phrases
2.6) Who is Doctor Memory?
2.7) Is it "Back T0 the Shadows" or "..FROM the Shadows" ?
2.8) FT Questions posed to the Usenet Oracle

Side 3) Firesign Theatre: Lyrics to Songs

Side 4) Firesign Theatre: Lexicon

--------------------------------------------------------------

Side 1) Introduction to Firesign Theatricum

Creating an FAQ for the Firesign Theatre is something analogous to
"The complete works of Shakespeare, FAQ", so be aware that the
world of FT is as vast and deep as the ocean and the azure sky.

1.1) Who Am Us, Anyway?

Here is a description of the Firesign Theatre:

A group of four gifted improvisational comedians and satirists, perhaps
best known for several record albums they produced in the 1970s. These
were famous for their depth of interaction among the characters, their
range of literary allusion and references to popular culture, history
and science, and the incomparable surreal quality of their pacing.
Different listeners would each find different significance in the work
and make different connections between themes within them. Much of
their work anticipated developments in video, interactive media,
computer technology and virtual reality by some 20 years.

Their initial work began on radio in Los Angeles in the mid 60's, but
their James-Joycean style of dramatic satire quickly expanded to
include phonograph recordings, live stage productions, movies,
books, and one of the first interactive video productions produced.

More than one fan has noted the complexity of their recordings, which
derived from their use of dense layering of sound tracks, as well as
their ingenious use of puns, metaphor, and other literary allusions.
The FT wove intricate stories which flowed, not so much like a river,
but like a rapidly evolving organism, projecting pseudopods out this
way, and then that. And yet the stories always seemed to maintain its
own internal logic.

None of this begins to do them any justice: we encourage you to buy one
of their CDs (or old phonos) and hear for yourself. This is in fact,
about the only way to really understand what the Firesign Theatre was
and IS about! We're not insane!

1.1.1) The Four or Five Crazy Guys:

Name -- Aliases, roles
-----------------------------------
Philip Austin -- Nick Danger, Hemlock Stones, etc,
Philip Proctor -- Clem, Ralph Spoilsport, the Poop, etc
David Ossman -- Porgie, Catherwood, etc
Peter Bergman -- Babe, Mudhead, Nancy...

We should also acknowledge the oft-ignored but ubiquitous female
members:

Annalee Austin -- Operator in "Don't crush that Dwarf"
Tiny Ossman -- Announcerettes in "Bozos"

For updates on where they are now, see the "Frequently Asked
Questions" file.

A series of quotes from the {BBOP} book:

Philip Austin:
-------------

"I always wanted to be a part of something. Annalee and I used to
secretly, separately, dream of rock and roll bands. I hadn't even
*thought* yet that rock and roll could save me.

"So I was in Hollywood in 1966, starving on all levels. I got a job in
a radio station because I could always do that with my voice -- could
make you believe that I was committed to the words coming out of my
mouth. I mistakenly believed, therefore that I was an Actor. I'm not.
I'm a musician. Interesting that it was the *sounds* of the words that
got to me the most. The Firesign Theatre was the vehicle that allowed
me to make that discovery.

"The Firesign Theatre is a *Technique*.

"These were the people who faced me across the microphones on the radio
and this is what I think of them:

"David Ossman is the first I met. The two of us are not what you'd
think of right off as comedians. I was producing all these plays by
dead authors -- acting, directing; got David to act, looked at the
amazing books of poetry that he'd produced -- as if he had hand-printed
every page. We had wonderful conversations about the Indians. Hopi.

"Peter Bergman was the Voice that Wouldn't Die. What a talker! The
Champ. I engineered _Radio Free Oz_ and appeared in a variety of stoned
disguises. (This was fun. Not like acting, which is not real to me,
therefore not fun.) Unlike most performers, Peter becomes *more* candid
when he performs. Set him in front of a microphone and you have an
angel. With most people, it's the opposite.

"Philip Proctor *is* an actor. He is also not exactly a comedian. He is
not so much trying to make you laugh as he is trying to explain
something to you. I have always been his friend because I admire that
so much. He can go places I can't. He was a friend of Peter's who was
"funny". God, ain't dat de trufe!

"So there we were, *four friends*. You see, we had no ambitions. It was
a pure jam and the instrument we each played was verbal glibness or
*radio*. We still continue that first conversation. This book, those
recordings, are records of that conversation, a minute-book of the
meeting.

"Quickly, Ambition walked in the door. I thought we were good. I'd
heard some pretty fast, funny cats in my time, but these three were as
good as Spike Milligan. We started hanging out with each other, gave up
our jobs, found more and more ways to earn livings using each other. I
got my Globe Theatre, Phil P. got a Movie Company, David got a Great
Work of Literature and Peter got the Forever Radio Show.

"RECORDS ARE RECORDS (recordings of something). THEY ARE MEANT TO
INCLUDE YOU IN OUR CONVERSATION.

"Yes, we take it seriously. Read [in the Big Book of Plays] Hideo
Gump Sr.'s intro to each script. Laughter and Dancing, Singing and
Love. We love the Firesign Theatre. How do you get along with people?
What do you have to show for it? Our work is, to me, my answer to those
questions.

"What does it mean?

"1. The Firesign Theatre writes communally. Every word goes through
four heads for approval. We therefore write very slowly. Our energy
level is intense. Grown men leave the room when we fight with each
other. Nothing is sacred.

"2. Therefore, there are considerable areas of chance (*chance*) in
our work since no overall motive is possible. All communal endeavors
learn one thing, I think. *Only real things can be agreed upon*. The
future is not real, therefore *motives* cannot be agreed upon. *Chance
becomes the motive*.

"What do we mean? We mean whatever's happening. ?Que paso, hombre?

*Our records are records of what happened to us during the period
we made them.

*Our records are a continuous story that will last as long as our
friendship.

*May we be friends forever.

--Phil Austin (Signature)

Philip Proctor:

" I was born in a trunk in the Princess Theatre, Pocatello, Idaho. No,
I was born in Goshen, Indiana. I really have spent some time analyzing
it. I grew up in an essentially schizophrenic existence. I was schooled
on the East Coast, because I moved there when I was five. I went to
Riverdale Country School and Yale University, but during my formative
years of growth -- the pubic years -- I grew up in Goshen, Indiana,
with my grand parents and my neighborhood friends. Radio and comic
books had a lot to do with my youth. The comic books supplied the
visual element. I finally became a professional actor after college.
Acting led me to The Firesign Theatre because I found New York theatre
to be dumb and limited. Silly. I wanted to create my own theatre.

--Philip Proctor (Signature)

David Ossman:

"I'm a writer, a poet, which is to say I always did that. My life was
totally in my head, and I wrote about it. I developed a historical
sense of things and then I went into radio. Because that's what I
always wanted to do.It was one of those childhood fantasies like
growing up to be a fireman. I wanted to be a radio announcer, and in
1959 I became a radio announcer. I did that for quite a while. I worked
in New York at WBAI for two years and then went back to the West Coast
and worked for KPFK for four years. They laid everybody off, including
me, so I got a job in television, which I hated, so I dropped out of
that. The Firesign Theatre appeared at the same time.

--David Ossman (Signature)

Peter Bergman:

"I owe everything I do tho my normal childhood. I had a very
unrepressed childhood and I lived in the Midwest, and there were very
few things to amuse myself, except softball, so I would do routines to
myself, like "Why Isn't Everybody Happy?" was one of my routines, so
they kept me indoors a lot. A kid named Bruce Berger and I opened up a
parking lot one night in an empty lot across from an Emporium show. We
made $50 wearing Cleveland Indians baseball caps, yelling, "*Park and
Lock it! Not Responsible!*"

"My honest idea of The Firesign Theatre is four artists getting
together and grouping to create some new art form, some multi-art that
comes our of all four of their minds. It's an interesting choice, and
that's one of the things that fascinates me. It's not a loss of
identity, really. It's more a gaining of a double identity. I'm Peter
Bergman and I'm one-quarter of The Firesign Theatre. And when I have
those two things together, in harmony, one feeds off the other.

--Peter Bergman (A very Floral Signature)

1.1.2) A Forward Into the Past History

Another excerpt from the "Big Book of Plays":

Mark Time's True Chronology of The Firesign Theatre
---------------------------------------------------

1966:

July 24 -- The first broadcast of Radio Free Oz over KPFK-FM (*)
(Peter and various collaborators are on the air five nights a week
until March).

November 17 -- The Firesign Theatre's first performance, "The Oz
Film Festival," a three-hour improvisation on Radio Free Oz.

December -- Peter, David, and Phil and Annalee Austin attend the
Soyal Ceremony in Hopiland. (Phil P. is On Tour in Florida).

1967:

March -- The first broadcast of a four-hour radio documentary on the
American Indian, written and produced by Peter, David, and Phil A.,
followed by a weekend Colloquium, followed by the first Love-In,
organized by Radio Free Oz, which moved to KRLA (AM) the same
day (March 26).

April-May -- After Phil Proctor's return from the East, The Firesign
Theatre writes and records Waiting For The Electrician or Someone
Like Him.

April 29 -- The Firesign Theatre performs their Bulgarian play called
"Waiting for the Electrician" at a UCLA Experimental Arts Festival.

June-July -- David and Phil P. conduct Oz during Peter's return trip
to Turkey.

September 14 -- Peter and David begin broadcasting Oz for three hours
every Sunday night from a Studio city club called The Magic Mushroom.

October 29 -- Bridey Murphy Eve on Oz begins a series of weekly radio
plays written and performed live by the FT at the Mushroom. Among the
scripts are "Exorcism in Your Daily Life," "The Last Tunnel To Fresno,"
"20 Years Behind The Whale," "The Giant Rat of Sumatra," "The Sword and
the Stoned," "Sesame Mucho," "The Armenian's Paw," and "Tile it Like
It Is."

December 9 -- The Firesign Theatre performs its first stage piece,
"Freak For A Week," for a KPFK benefit at the Santa Monica Civic
Auditorium.

1968:

*(All locations in Los Angeles, unless otherwise mentioned)

###-More to Follow (really ! I promise!).

Lynn Gustafson writes:
In the mid-sixties the Renaissance Pleasure Faire in So.Cal. was a
fund raiser for KPFK. They did live broadcasts from the fairesite.
The Flying Karamazov Brothers were also working at the faire at that
time.
When the Living History Centre was first incorporated, their motto was
"Forward Into the Past." LHC and RPF are still around, in our 31st year
Some of the guys still show up occasionally.

1.1.3) The newsgroups and fan clubs

There are two newsgroups: alt.fan.firesign-theatre, and
alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre. The first group causes some news servers
problems due to its name having >14 chars. Most people seem to be
gravitating towards the "comedy" group these days.

For the rest of this document, "alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre" will assume to
refer to both of these groups.

As near as anyone can figure, alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre is
composed of a bunch of the old guard, sitting around and exchanging
FT lines with each other ("What about my pickle?" "You're lucky you
still have your brown paper bag, small-change!"), together with
neophytes who might have just run across the newsgroup, discussions
about where the FT members are now, reunion announcements, the deep
philosophical and metaphysical implications of Bozos, and other such
musings.

Four-Alarm FIRESIGNal
---------------------
Elayne Wechsler-Chaput <72672...@CompuServe.COM> produces a
tri-annual newsletter called "Four-Alarm FIRESIGNal"
(or FAlaFal for short). The newsletter is free; the publisher does
however welcome SASEs and monetary donations. She is also said to
have an extensive personal collection of FT information, tapes, etc.
Her address is:

Four-Alarm FIRESIGnal
c/o Elayne Wechsler-Chaput
1747 65th Street
Brooklyn NY 11204

E-mail updates may be in the offing, as well

Hot Flashes
-----------
Michael Packer <pac...@GVSU.EDU> at West Michigan Public
Broadcasting, runs a e-mail mailing-list called "Hot Flashes" of
latest events, etc. He also maintains a large and growing archive
of FT and related audio, video, etc. works, Including Harry Shearer,
Ken Nordine, Stan Freberg, Goon Show, etc. His address is:

Michael Packer
PO Box 3540
Grand Rapids, MI 49501
Phone:(616) 363-8231 or (616) 771-6714.
Fax: (616) 771-6625

The Firesign Theatre used to have a fan newsletter called, "It's just
this little Chromium Switch, Here!", but is now defunct.

1.2) Published Works

1.2.1) Radio/TV/Stage production

The following are the entries from the complete movie/TV credit
databases (portions of which are on refuge.colorado.edu) for the FT
members:

All 4 wrote the 1971 movie Zachariah (along with Joe Massot).

Details from David Miller:

The "original" FST movie is 1971's (?) _Zachariah_. That is, they wrote
the first version and have small parts in it, but it was rewritten by
its producers, and shows only occasional FST touches. They now refer to
it in very unkind terms, and boy does it look dated--wild west rock 'n
roll starring an unbelievably young Don Johnson. It's still available
from Playhouse Video, 39000 Seven Mile Road, Livonia, MI 48152.
It turns up sometimes *real* late at night...

Acting credits for Peter Bergman:

Fantasies (1980) (TV)
Money, Power, Murder (1989) (TV) [Brant]
Woman on the Ledge (1993) (TV) [Bob]
"All My Children" (????)

Acting credits for Phil Proctor:

Lobster Man from Mars (1990)
Bad Attitudes (1991) (TV)
Tunnel Vision (70's?)
A Safe Place (1971)
Diana Rigg Show -- played fashion designer "Mr. Vincent" who
was Diana Rigg's boss.
...often appears on TV

Other:

Americathon (writing credits for Proctor & Bergman)

Thomas M. Niccum writes of yet another (dare we call it?) credit:

In about 1976 I was present at a lunch with a few friends and Phil
Proctor was there - my friend was a reporter for the U of Minnesota
Daily, and had volunteered to do a piece on Proctor and Bergman who were
in town to open for (get ready) Sha Na Na (ook). Anyway, he told us
that he had met up with the Starland Vocal Band (who had a hit entitled
"Afternoon Delight" if I'm not mistaken). The band had been offered a
summer replacement show, and Proctor and Bergman had volunteered to
write.

Thus forewarned, I looked for it the next year, and managed to catch
one episode. It was pretty normal "variety" show type TV. I'm pretty
sure they did the "Shoplifters" supermarket commercial, which shows up
in their Eat or be Eaten CD and Video.

1.2.2) Vinyl
---------------

Firesign Theatre:
-----------------
1968 - Waiting for the Electrician or Someone like him Columbia CS 9518
1969 - How Can you be in two places at once, when you're not
anywhere at all? Columbia CS 9884
1970 - Don't Crush that Dwarf, hand me the pliers: Columbia C 30102
1971 - I think we're all Bozos on this bus: Columbia C 30737
1972 - Dear Friends: Columbia PG 31099
1972 - Not Insane or Anything You Want To: Columbia KC 31585
1974 - The Tale of the Giant Rat of Sumatra: Columbia C 32730
1974 - Everything you know is Wrong!: Columbia KC 33141
1975 - In the next world you're on your own: Columbia PC-33475
1976 - Forward into the Past: Columbia PG-34391
1977 - Just Folks ... A Firesign Chat: Butterfly FLY 001
1979 - Roller Maidens from outer Space: Epic (Phil Austin)
1979 - Fighting Clowns: Rhino
1980 - Carter/Reagan: Rhino
???? - Eat or be eaten.

Proctor & Bergman :
-------------------
???? - TV OR NOT TV: Columbia KC-32199
1975 - What this Country Needs: Columbia PC-33687
1978 - The Comedy of Proctor and Bergman / Give Us A Break:
Mercury SRM-3719

Solo/Subgroup Albums:
---------------------
How Time Flys: Columbia C 32411 -- David Ossman
Lawyer's Hospital
Shakespeare's Lost Comedie (Rhino Records)
Nick Danger and the Case of the Missing Shoe

Reunion Album:
--------------
The Three Faces of Al

Syndicated Radio Pressings and other stuff:

Howard Landman writes:

In the booklet of the Mobile Fidelity CD of DEAR FRIENDS, it says
that there was a 12 hour syndicated version released to radio stations
(on 12 vinyl records, of which only 100 copies were pressed.

John Leving writes:

FYI, when Proctor and Bergman were at Yale, they did a lot of goofing
around on WYBC-FM, the student radio station. There may still be old
airchecks of theirs lying around on tape cartridges.

1.2.3) Video
----------------

1985 - Eat or be Eaten (0:30)
1983 - Nick Danger: Missing Yolks (1:00)
Originally an Interactive Video (SelectaVision).

1979 - J-Men Forever (1:20)
1985 - Hot Shorts (FT voice-over) (1:30)
???? - Everything you know is wrong
???? - Martian Space Party
???? - Love is hard to find (###-get?) -- Peter B.

1.2.4) Books
---------------

1.2.4.1 Big book of plays:

Type of Material: Book
LC Call Number: PN6120.R2 F47
Author: Firesign Theatre (Performing group)
Title: The Firesign Theatre's big book of plays.

Publication Info: [San Francisco] Straight Arrow Books [1972]
Phys. Description: 143 p. illus. 26 cm.
Subjects: Radio plays, American.
Other Names: Big book of plays.
LC Card Number: 72079024 //r82
ISBN: 0-87932-028-1 0-87932-027-3 (pbk)

There are at least two different versions of
"The Firesign Theatre's Big Book of Plays". The first printing (so
marked) has a red cover, with white and gold outlining the shape of
an old-time radio; the knobs are a little kid and a man in a sad-face
mask, and has two scantily clad women in silhouette, with a cover
price of $4.00.

The other version has a yellow border, an old-time radio at the top
of the page segues into a window at the bottom, through which a road
runs. A guy is waving through the window at four guys on the other
side, who are playing leap frog. The cover price is $5.95.

The first printing makes reference to a hardbound edition.
The SBN for the case bound in my book says 0/87932/028/1,
whereas the paperbound is 0/87932/027/3.

1.2.4.2 Big mystery joke book:

Type of Material: Book
LC Call Number: PN6120.R2 F48 1974
Author: Firesign Theatre (Performing group)
Generic Title: Big mystery joke book
Title: The Firesign Theatre's Big mystery joke book.
Publication Info: San Francisco : Straight Arrow Books;[New York]:
distributed by Simon and Schuster, [1974]
Phys. Description: 150 p. : ill. ; 26 cm.

Notes:
Money song.--An invocation from the Book of Punter.--The
mysterious history of the Firesign Theatre.--The tale of
the giant rat of Sumatra.--The further adventures of Nick
Danger, third eye.--Temporarily Humboldt County.--The
adventures of Mark Time.--Hundred Dollar Ben.--Young Guy,
motor detective.--The year of the rat.--Gramps'
world.--Rubbergon dumn Toyko.--Le trente-huit
cunegonde.--The dream play.

Subjects: Radio plays, American.
Other Names: Big mystery joke book.
LC Card Number: 74076601 //r832
ISBN: 0-87932-078-8 : $5.95

1.2.4.3 The Bozobook
------------

Source: Yale Catalog:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Firesign Theatre (Performing group)
Title: Bozobook : or, clam calendar & book of ours : excerpts from
the notebooks of the Firesign Theatre, volume '71.
Published: Isla Vista, Calif. : Turkey Press, 1981.
Description: [48] p. : ill. ; 23 cm.
Notes: Paper wrappers.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
LOCATION: CALL NUMBER: STATUS:
SML, Stacks, LC PS3556 I73 B6

Joe LoCicero writes further:

So how many people have ever heard of the Bozobook? I have it sitting
right here in front of me... and it says:

400 copies were letterpressed in the Spring of 1981 from a
variety of hand-set types and found art. Twenty-six copies
have been hardbound, lettered A-Z, and signed by The Fire-
sign Theatre. Design, printing, and binding by Harry and
Sandra Reese at TURKEY PRESS, 6746 SUENO ROAD, ISLA VISTA,
CA 93317. This project was supported, in part, by a grant
from the National Endowment for the Arts, our federal
agency, in Washington, D.C.

It also says:

Material in this book is from THE NOTEBOOKS OF THE FIRESIGN
THEATRE, August 1970-August 1971, the original scripts and
research for the album, I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus.

It is presented as part of The Firesign Theatre's 15th Birth-
day Celebration, and on the 10th anniversary of the release
of the "Bozos" album.

Edited for The Firesign Theatre by David Ossman, in asso-
ciation with Harry Reese and Turkey Press, March 1981.

Your 'OUR 12 CENTERFOLD' could be a page from the produc-
tion script of "Bozos," xeroxed for this edition, or an origi-
nal mimeographed page from one of several version of the
script to the ABC Films production of Zachariah by Joe Mas-
sot and The Firesign Theatre.

1.2.4.4 The apoca[l]ypse papers

Andrey Yeatts found this at the Univ. of Arizona:

CALL # PZ2001.F523 A6
LOCATIONS Special Coll

AUTHOR Firesign Theatre (Performing Group)
TITLE The apoca[l]ypse papers : a fiction.
SERIES Famous science fiction chapbook series ; v. 1.
PUBLISHER Topeka, Kan. : Apocalypse Press, 1976.
SUBJECTS Science fiction.
NOTE "This is book no. 267 in a series of 500 unsigned copies."
Includes bibliographical references.
DESCRIPTION [32] p. : ill. ; 22 cm. --

1.2.4.5 Other Works by David Ossman

Source: Univ. Calif. Berkeley (GLADYS) Library:

Title List
----------
1. The day-book of the city / David Ossman. <1982>
2. Hopi set : 12 poems for chance reading / David Ossman. <1985>
3. The Moon-sign book : Los Angeles/San Juan / David Ossman. <1984>
4. The Rainbow Cafe, Hollywood, 1967 / David Ossman. <1982>
5. The sullen art; interviews by David Ossman with modern American
poets. <1963>
6. The sullen art; interviews by David Ossman with modern American
poets. <1963>
7. Third mesa. <198->

1. Ossman, David.
The day-book of the city / David Ossman.
[Isla Vista, CA] : Turkey Press, 1982.
Bancroft pPS3565.S7.D3
Non-circulating; may be used only in The Bancroft Library.

2. Ossman, David.
Hopi set : 12 poems for chance reading / David Ossman.
[Isla Vista, Calif. : Turkey Press] c1985.
Bancroft pPS3565.S77.H67 1985
Non-circulating; may be used only in The Bancroft Library.

3. Ossman, David.
The Moon-sign book : Los Angeles/San Juan / David Ossman.
Isla Vista, CA : Turkey Press, 1984.
Bancroft pPS3565.S77.M66 1984
Non-circulating; may be used only in The Bancroft Library.
Note: Blue paper wrappers.

4. Ossman, David.
The Rainbow Cafe, Hollywood, 1967 / David Ossman.
[s.l.] : Turkey Press, 1982.
Bancroft pPS3565.S77.R39
Non-circulating; may be used only in The Bancroft Library.

5. Ossman, David.
The sullen art; interviews by David Ossman with modern American
poets.
New York, Corinth Books, 1963.
Moffitt PS324.O8
Main Stack 905 O84 sul

6. Ossman, David.
The sullen art; interviews by David Ossman with modern American
poets.
New York, Corinth Books, 1963.
Bancroft A6.O75S9 1963
Non-circulating; may be used only in The Bancroft Library.
Note: Black cloth; dust jacket.
Note: Tram Combs collection
STORAGE #: W 74 821

7. Ossman, David.
Third mesa.
[Isla Vista, CA : Turkey Press, 198-?]
Bancroft pffPS3565.S77.T55 1980z
Non-circulating; may be used only in The Bancroft Library.
Note: Signed copy.

1.2.5) CD's

The following FT albums are currently available on CD:

Bozos (MFCD 785)
Don't Crush That Dwarf (MFCD 880)
Waiting for the Electrician (MFCD ???)
How Can you be in two places at once... (MFCD 834)
Dear Friends (MFCD 758);
Fighting Clowns (MFCD 748);
Shoes for Industry! (double CD Collection)

Available through Mercury (Columbia):

Eat or Be Eaten (Mercury 826 452-2 M-1; released 1986).

Regarding this CD, Dave Lucas informs us that more than just sound
is found on this CD:

I read in a technical book (sorry, can't remember which) that
'Eat Or Be Eaten' was the first CD+G disc published in the US.
[actually, this was some time ago, and the book said that it
was the *only* CD+G disc published in the US]

So I popped it in a CDTV box, and sure enough...

The screen gets refreshed every 2-3 seconds, and it does
add a dimension to the fun.

Other CD collections are or were rumored to be available through
Rhino Records, though this has not be substantiated.

Upcoming:
---------

A new CD based on the upcoming "Illusion of Unity Tour" may
be in the works.

1.3) References
----------------

1.3.1) Interviews, by interviewer

David Reitman, Rock Magazine
Tony Vellela, Go Magazine
Michael Ross, Creme
Ernest Leogrand, N.Y. Daily News
John Carpenter L.A. Free Press
-- San Diego Door
Richard Hill, Rolling Stone
Terry Gross "Fresh Air" Radio Show Interview, 17 Nov, 1993
(inquire at FRES...@HSLC.ORG)

New York Times, May 3 1993: a review of the '93 Seattle reunion show
LA Times, Nov 20. 1993: Calendar Section: Interview w/ FT.

1.3.2) Literary References/Background

[### This is just a start. Other ref's appreciated!]

Books:

Discography:

THE ROLLING STONE RECORD GUIDE, ed. D.Marsh and J.Swenson
Random House/Rolling Stone Press, 1979, ISBN 0-394-73535-8
and THE NEW ROLLING STONE RECORD GUIDE, ed. D.Marsh and J.Swenson
Random House/Rolling Stone Press, 1983, ISBN 0-394-72107-1

Samuel Becket:
Waiting for Godot -- "Waiting for the Electrician"
Krapp's Last Tape -- "Dont Crush that Dwarf"

James Joyce:
Ulysses -- Molly Bloom's Soliloquy in {TWO PLACES}

Isaac Asimov:
I, Robot -- Robot's Rules of Order in {BOZOS}

William Shakespeare:
Twelfth Night
As You Like it

William S. Boroughs:
The Naked Lunch -- "Returned for Regrooving"

The Bible, Book of Revelations -- "Roller Maidens from Outer Space"

Book of the Hopi, (Published 1963)
Hopi/Moqui Indian Folklore & Mythology -- "Temporarily Humboldt County"

TOPS-10 SAILON LISP Programmer's Manual -- "Dr. Memory"

"If At All Possible, Involve A Cow": A history of University of
Southern California, David Ossman's alma mater. Documents their mascot
in the 40's, a dog by the name of George Leroy {TIREBITER}!

Movies:

"The World of Tomorrow"
An excellent documentary on the 1939 World's Fair, one of the
motivations for the "Future Fair" on {BOZOS}. With Jason Robarts
as the Narrator.

-------------------------- End Side 1 of 4------------------------

Niles D. Ritter

unread,

Dec 13, 1993, 1:14:16 PM12/13/93

Archive-name: firesign-theatre/faq
Last-modified: 1993/12/13
Version: 1.9

About This Archive
------------------

Changes:

1. '93 Fall Tour Reviews

Side 2) Firesign Theatre: Frequently Asked questions

=====================================================

2.1) How Can I Get Copies of this FAQ?

There are many paths:

Via FTP:
As mentioned in the top of this file, you may access the files
via anonymous ftp to rtfm.mit.edu, in the directory
/pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre, there are four files
called intro, faq, lyrics and lexicon.

Via E-MAIL:
The host rtfm.mit.edu runs a mail-server for those without
ftp. Send e-mail to mail-...@rtfm.mit.edu, with the message:

send usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*

For more information on this server also add the line "help".

Via WWW (World-Wide Web): Use the following URL's:

file://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/intro
file://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/faq
file://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/lyrics
file://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/lexicon

In the near future an HTML-format Hypertext version of these files
may also become available.

2.2) How can I contact the NewsGroup with E-mail?

There is a general service for posting notes to the UseNet newsgroups. To
post to alt.comedy.firesgn-theatre, for example, send your message to

alt-comedy-f...@cs.utexas.edu

Note that the dots in the newsgroup name have been changed to hyphens!

The "Internet Services List" contains dozens of other nifty things you
can do with just e-mail access, and may be obtained by sending e-mail to
mail-...@rtfm.mit.edu, with the message:

send usenet/news.answers/internet-services/*

Unfortunately, this only goes one way; you cannot read other peoples
posts without a newsreader service. However, if you specify in your posting
that you can only receive reponses by e-mail, most readers will kindly
oblige.

2.3) Any Reunions going on ?

2.3.1) Upcoming Events

A Reunion Tour came through the US this Fall. The Firesign theatre
indicated that they will be doing more things in the future.

2.3.2) Reviews of Previous Tours

2.3.2.1 The 25th Anniversary Tour - Seattle,'93

Mark Armantrout writes:

About a year ago, something called "Still Waiting for the Electrician"
was broadcast out West somewhere, I think Seattle. It contained all of
"Waiting for the Electrician ..." and loads of interviews with the
Firesign guys, interviewed by David Ossman, I think. The whole
broadcast was almost two hours long. Anyway, this tape was broadcast
for the second time ever here in B'ton last Sunday night (April 25,
1993) on WFHB, 6-8pm. And I taped it.:)

They talk all about how they met, how they wrote, what they were 'into'
at the time of Electrician, and about the Summer of Love and hippie
stuff in general. And there are a couple skits/announcements that I
haven't heard anywhere else. It's really fun to listen to, because the
interviews fit in real well with the album, and they integrate the two
well.

Event two: That same weekend, Richard Fish was out in Seattle attending
the Firesign Theatre's 25th anniversary reunion performance. 25th
anniversary meaning 25 years since they first met and started working
together, or 25 years since they released Electrician. Richard left a
tape-recorded phone call with our station, which was played right after
the broadcast of "Still Waiting..." Richard had only great things to
say about the performance, that it was a lot of old material from all
the albums updated a little with references to current events/people,
some new material. The audience, he said, joined in on about half the
words. Everyone loved it. Richard said that Tom Clancy and Harry
Anderson were both there, and are both big FT fans.

Michael Cummings writes:
I was fortunate enough to be at their 25th reunion show at the
Paramount Theatre in Seattle. After the show, Phil Austin said
something to the effect, "It's been 8 years since we were all on
stage together and this is it." ...

They did all old material, with some nice recent news references.
For example, during the Nick Danger bit:

Lt. Bradshaw (wielding a stick): I'll KING you with this, Rodney!

Nick Danger: You're a riot.

For a review of the reunion show, see New York Times, May 3 1993.

2.3.2.2 The 25th Anniversary Tour - Fall '93

72672...@CompuServe.COM (Elayne & Steve Chaput) Writes:

Just got back from a party with The Firesign Theatre, and boy are my
brains tired! David and Phil P., especially, couldn't have been nicer
(they're the ones with whom I've been closest through the years), and both
seemed to indicate this is Only The Beginning of the Firesign renaissance.
Great news ahead for fans!

The show at the Beacon Theatre was, as near as I could tell, COMPLETELY
sold out. For the first (and last?) time on the tour, a Special Guest
came on stage - the venerable John Goodman, long-time Firesign fan and
improv comedy veteran himself (used to hang w/ the Citizen Kafka bunch on
WBAI-FM here in NYC). I didn't have the nerve to go up to Mr. Goodman,
either before the show, at intermission, or at the party afterwards (which
also drew such notables as Larry Josephson, Phoebe Snow and Vaughn Meader),
as I'm afraid I'm just Not Good At Things Like That. But Goodman's cameo
in Nick Danger (as the guy who calls for the pizza to go and no anchovies)
was a lot of fun to watch!

They were ON, folks. They were so ON it was scary - it was like they'd
never left! It was so joyful to see them, to be there with them and
singing (and talking) along from time to time, and listening intently to
the new stuff they wove into the old material, I have no words to describe
how wonderful it was.

Especially thrilling for me was meeting so many of you, and I thank you
for coming over and introducing yourselves to me! We have so many new
folks for the mailing list, I don't even want to think about it. Yes,
folks, I am the Head of the Fireheads. I am the FireHead Head...

FIRESIGN IS BACK!

****

The editor (n...@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov) writes:

As I was driving down through the Big Tujunga Canyon, heading towards the
final tour stop at the Wiltern in Los Angeles, it began to rain. While
listening to the monotonous stacatto of rain on my hood I realized that
I had an opportunity to actually whip onto Mulholland drive, just like
Nick Danger's old route to the Same Old Place... However, I didn't really
want to go to Santa Barbara, so I continued on to the Wiltern. I turned
on the radio and realized I was listening to KPFK, where the FT got their
start...looks like I've already gone Forward Into the Past!

I had spent the morning putting together a set of 4 nicely formatted
copies of our newsgroup's Lexicon for the FT, and while standing around
the outside of the theatre waiting for the doors to open, an Entertainment
Tonight camera crew came by and gave me a chance to read off a few passages
of the document. Just then Phil Proctor came by and so I gave him my four
copies of the Lex and asked that he give them to the rest of the guys.
They loved it.

They let us in around 7:30, and we all milled about the Lobby, trading old
stories, buying squeeky pickles, etc. Elayne, you will be pleased to hear
that your FireSignal Newsletter sign-in sheets attracted a lot of attention.

The show didn't get started until around 8:30; people were still outside
buying tickets, and at 8:00 there were still a lot of spaces on the ground
floor. By 8:30 the place looked pretty much packed, and everyone seemed
really excited.

When the lights started dimming the crash of noise of people cheering
was deafening! The Firesign Theatre was home! Back from the Shadows again!
You could tell that they were having a good time up there, and were
going back and forth with the enthusiastically noisy (but not obnoxious)
crowd. At one point when Nick Danger was fed a particularly potent lead-in
line from Rocky Roccoco, Nick looked out at the crowd and yelled "Let me
handle this one!"

The shows were rather compressed (to allow for more audience participation,
DO pointed out at one point), which may have confused some new-comers, but
from the way people were joining in it didn't sound like there was nothing
but long-time fans, all the way up into the balcony "cheap seats" (not
so cheap, Phil A pointed out during the show, getting some cheers out of
the raucous balcony people). The only weakness I spotted in the show was
an occasionally muted sound system; however, people were quick to yell out
"LOUDER", to which the FT guys would immediately respond.

I particularly liked the updated versions of the {TWO PLACES} episodes, with
the living highway signs and the bumper-stickers, e.g:

"My kid passed the Metal Detectors in <X> High School"

"My other car is up my nose"

and my favorite:

"Are you Co-dependent? I can rescue you!"

They made many local references ("As the fires lit up over the San Fernandino
Valley...", "They won't come up into the hills without an armed escort--
my, Los Angeles has changed a lot!"), and it was clear that in many ways,
they felt they had finally "come home" to where it all began.

During the intermission, just prior to the start of the second half,
they all came out dressed up as the all-vegetable cast and bounced
around the audience for a while before running up on stage to start
the opening Whisperin' Squash sequence to Bozos.

The updated "Dwarf" and "Bozos" were great, and the final scenes with
George/Porgie chasing after the ice cream truck was a very poignant
finale to the show.

Following two standing ovation curtain calls they came back to give a few
talks at the end of their tour; DO pointed out that he started doing Porgie
at the age of 35, and now that he is almost the age of the old George
Tirebiter, he feels that he has just about "grown into" the role. He
mentioned that when they recorded "Dwarf" his kids can be heard playing
in several spots, and that now, at this show, he was proud to say that
his grand-children are in the audience! They finished up with an encore
rendition of "Back from the Shadows, again", with full-throated emotional
support from the audience.

I spent the next hour in line to get my copy of the Lexicon and the
"Big Book of Plays" signed, and to make sure that Proctor gave the other
guys the Lexicons. Imagine my thrill when Peter Bergman saw my copy of
the Lexicon and said "So *You're* the one that produced these!". They
thought they were great, and both Proctor and Bergman asked if I could
help them out in getting online! (I'll be glad to! :-)

****

2.4) Where are they now ?

The FT is currently together again, and busy working on their "Illusion
of Unity" Reunion Tour (see Reunion Tour, below).

Phil Proctor can currently be heard doing character voices on Nickelodeon
TV's *Rugrats*. He currently lives in Santa Monica, CA.

Peter Bergman has been known to do call-in shows at various times; together
with a woman side-kick they go by the aliases "Baldy and Scout" (KPFK
Pacifica Radio in Los Angeles). He has also been producing movie trailers for
radio. He is also living in Los Angeles.

Philip Austin has been living and acting in LA.

David Ossman lives on Whidbey Island, Washington state, and does a radio show
(Ossman's Audiola) at KSER in Everett, Washington, a public radio station. He
and his wife produce radio plays, among other projects. He produced the
(excellent) 50th anniversary production of the War of the Worlds for NPR in
'88 and works with the Midwest Radio Theatre Workshop in Columbia Missouri
most every spring.

See also the "Any Reunions?" question, and the "History" entry in the
Introduction.

2.5) Common FT Phrases

Here's a few common ones. See also the Lexicon!

Oh, hey, he's no fun, he fell right over!
Eat flaming death, fascist media pigs !
Back to the Shadows, Again!
Dear Friends!
Papoon for President! He's Not insane!
Dr. Memory!
Not Responsible! Park and Lock it!
Forward into the Past!
It's just this little chromium switch here!
Wow, that's faster than anyone's ever been gone before!
Bear Whiz Beer: It's in the water! That's why it's yellow!
So c'mon, kids -- get on it, and do it every day!
It's okay, they're speaking Chinese...
Ah, French Canadian!
I think we're all bozos on this bus!
No anchovies? You've got the wrong man.
I spell my name...Danger!
This is no movie, this is real!
Not to be torturing me!
Decision-Making Factor, Absent from Brain!
Loostners Castor Oil Flakes: The All-Weather Breakfast!
Mick! Me man't malk mere! (from "Nick Danger")
Hey! Corn! Now we can make whiskey!
Everything you know is wrong!
Shoes for Industry!
Raw! Raw! Raw!
More Sugar!

2.6) Who is Doctor Memory?

From "I think we're all bozos on this bus"; a computer doctor
running the Future Faire, who said things like:

"SYSTAT UPTIME 9:01 unhappy READ MAKNAM"
and "hmmm..."

Dr. Memory is based on an early "Eliza" type psychiatrist program
that ran on a PDP-10. The consensus of the alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre
newsgroup experts is that this program was written in (((((Lisp))))),
and compiled using the SAILON LISP compiler for the DECSystem10,
running TOPS-10 operating system. Tim Rentsch noted that one of these
systems was installed at Caltech, and that a former classmate of his
demonstrated the program for the FT .

There is much evidence that David Ossman attended Claremont McKenna College
(then "Claremont Men's College") in his younger days, at which there was one
of the first implementations of the Doctor.

Tim Brengle writes of the implementation:

"CMC is one of the Claremont Colleges, along with Harvey Mudd College,
Scripps College for Women, Pomona College, and Pitzer College. Five schools
taking up a total of about one square mile. The hot new shared computing
resource was a PDP-10 model KA-10 (with 256K bytes of *CORE* memory, and a
swapping drum) running Tops-10. This was the same type of machine upon which
Weisenbaum created the original DOCTOR program, one of whose scripts was
called "Eliza". The program, at least the version I hacked on, was written
in Stanford LISP 1.6--which did have a pretty awesome compiler..."

The evidence for these detailed descriptions of Dr. Memory are based
on the contents of Dr. Memory's commands and error statements:

For example, "SYSTAT" was a TOPS-10 command that gave the system
status, and "UPTIME" showed how long the system had been running.

In addition, the hero (P.) of the story identifies himself as "worker"
whenever he wanted to access the internals of the computerized fair; ("This
is Worker Speaking, Hello"). It is highly likely that David Ossman saw DOCTOR
on the Claremont PDP-10. The way that one started the program was to
activate the LISP environment and then execute the form:

(worker hello)

Up until executing that function, you had to enclose everything in () just as
one would expect from LISP. But the WORKER function changed the syntax
tables for the parser so that a double carriage-return delimited your
statements and told the DOCTOR that it was time to reply. But, there was a
bug in DOCTOR, forgetting to take into account that dots have special meaning
in LISP. Putting one in the wrong place confused the LISP function MAKNAM
("make name") which was trying to assemble characters into tokens. It
returned its error message to the top-level reading function (READ). It's
error message was, of course, "READ: UNHAPPY MAKNAM".

DOCTOR programs still abound---for example, the Emacs editor,
which is written in LISP, has a doctor function built into the
distribution. Here's a sample session (which sounds just about as
strange as Firesign Theatre's Dr. Memory:

I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems.
Each time you are finished talking, type RET twice.
> Hello, Dr. Memory.
How do you do? What brings you to see me?
> My name is Ken.
Why do you say your name is ken?
> Well, because it is.
Can you elaborate on that?
> My parents named me Ken.
Tell me something about your family.
> My father was a jelly doughnut.
You seem to dwell on your family.
> Hey, you asked.
Is it because of your plans that you say hey I asked?
....

Obviously, not a very bright program.

So, how about THAT?!...Mr. Smarty-pants college professor? (razzz!).

2.7) Is it "Back T0 the Shadows" or "..FROM the Shadows" ?

Dr. Memory says: Both (in this case); see the "Lyrics" section.

Arguments regarding Firesign trivia(eg. is it "Mousers" or "Mausers"?)
are often moot, as the shifting meanings and colorations of
Firesign Theatricum blend and expand like the colors of the rainbow.
To those who ask, "Did they actually say "X" or "Y", the
appropriate answer is, "YES !", or, perhaps, "Mu."

2.8) FT Questions posed to the Usenet Oracle

The Usenet Oracle has at varying times been confronted by questions
that we all know and love over here in alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre. It
it interesting to see how the all-ZOTing-one handles the questions.
For more info on how to experience the Oracle, look in the newsgroup
rec.humor.oracle (archives of Q&A available in /pub/oracle at
cs.indiana.edu)!

2.8.1) Put down that Pickle!
--- 562-10 ----------------------------------------------------------

Selected-By: David Sewell <ds...@troi.cc.rochester.edu>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Put down that Pickle!

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Sounds like you need some psychoanalysis. Since the oracle knows all
} your problems anyway, let's do a little one-sided free association.
}
} Finals? Boredom? That last little niggling irritation that finally
} put you over the edge? A life-long antipathy to brine and garlic? A
} slow-festering wound caused by a spiny American cucumber?
Pathological
} fear of cured vegetables? Dread regarding phallic substitutes of a
} threatening and, well, to be honest, humbling size? Passionate
dislike
} of green? Well-grounded fear of botulism or other spoilage? An ill-
} remembered childhood memory of a green plush-toy monkey that went
} berserk one night under your bed, that your parents *never* quite
} believed, even as they soothed you back to sleep? A bad experience
} with a green banana (or was it a plantain?), three tequila sunrises,
} and a cheap hotel room in Tijuana? (or was it Nogales?). The
} aftershocks of total sensory deprivation and/or hallucinogenic
} experimentation some 25 years ago? A sudden sour taste in your mouth
} as a result of guilt over some horrible deed you just committed? A
} frightened reaction to storks that sound like Groucho Marx -- or is
it
} the strange resemblance of that last infant you saw to a crunchy
vlasic
} dill? The successful repression of heterosexual desire symbolized by
} the Vlasic Stork (i.e. procreation) and its sublimation into sexual
} hostility and fantasy and then the frightened reaction to these
} returned fantasies?
}
} You owe the oracle a copy of Freud's "Jokes and their Relation to the
} Unconscious" and a jar of half-sours, preferably spicy ones.

------------------------------

2.8.2) Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers!

--- 529-09 ----------------------------------------------------------
Selected-By: ew...@shell.portal.com (Leo 'Bols Ewhac' Schwab)

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Don't crush that dwarf! Hand me the pliers!

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Goodman Feeblebrook, the 7th level Mage, removes the +5 Holy Pliers
} of St. Christopher from the protective box with awe and reverence.
} Wordlessly, he hands the artifact to Artemis Strongarm, the 9th level
} Ranger.
} "Hurry up!" shouts the Dwarf, Gimli Oakenleg, the party's 6th level
} Fighter/Thief. His voice is muffled, due to the fact that his head is
} currently being crushed between two rocks that are part of a
} pressure-plate trap the Dwarf had been attempting to disarm.
} "Okay," snaps Artemis. "I've never done this before, you know..."
} "Just clamp those things over the release nut and turn it counter-
} clockwise," the Dwarf returns. "And do it QUICKLY!"
} "Right." Artemis clamps the pliers down on the nut and pushes on
} the artifact with all of his 18(56) strength. Somewhere in the
} distance, the sound of a plastic dodecahedron can be heard. With a
} loud grunt, the Ranger successfully turns the screw through
} one-and-a-half rotations.
} "YOU DID IT!" exclaims Feeblebrook. "Boy Gimli, I'll bet you have
} a headache the size of-- uh oh." Feeblebrook's premature celebration
} is cut short by the sight that greets him when he turns to greet his
} Dwarven companion. "Oh, YUCK! I guess we should have remembered that
} clocks run the other way in the Dwarven Lands..."
} Artemis grimly examines the remains of the Fighter/Thief, then
} calmly turns to address the audience. "Is there a Cleric in the
} house?"
}
} You owe the Oracle 500 gold pieces and a Ring of Water Breathing.

2.8.3) How do I make my voice do this?

From Group #118
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> How do I make my voice do this?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Hmm... lets see... this is a tough one.
}
} Place your left hand against your throat, with your thumb
} against your right jugular vein and your fingers up around
} your left ear. Hold your nose between your right thumb and
} middle finger. Put your index finger against your forehead
} and your pinky finger between your front teeth. Purse your
} lips. Bend over and place your head between your knees, or as
} far down as you can reach (if you can reach, you are not doing
} it right). Curl your upper lip as if you smelled something
} bad. Anything you say in this position will come out like
} this.
}
} You owe the oracle a self-portrait, in this position.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

2.8.4) Why does the porridge bird lay his eggs in the air?

No answers to this one have (yet) made it to the Oracularities. Many
are called but few are chosen...

2.8.5) How can you be in two places at once (when you're not
anywhere
at all)?

No answers to this one have (yet) made it to the Oracle archives;
although we have the following related Q & A:

--- 544-05 -----------------------------------------------------------
> Yeah, Mr. Oracle? This is Thom Dewey, from Dewey Stickem & Howe?
> Yeah, yeah, that's us. Well, look, that dame? Her lawyer called
> back,and he said that the blood test matched and they're going to make
> a motion for a DNA sample. Yeah, I know, they can do that now. It's
> pretty accurate, Mr. Oracle. I can fight the motion, but I don't know
> if we'll win...are you SURE you were giving a speech in Missoula at the
> time? The prosecution is going to try and pull that
> omnipotent-beings-can-be-in-two-places-at-once stuff again, you know?
> This is almost as bad as that little Southern number last year. I
> know, I KNOW, I shouldn't have mentioned it. I'm sorry, Mr. Oracle.
> Look, all she wants in child support; if we pay her off, it won't go to
> court and Lisa will never know. Do you think we should cut a deal?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Thom, don't worry about it. I've looked into the matter, and, being an
} omnipotent being, have rectified the situation. The DNA from me won't
} match up. As a matter of fact, the only person whose DNA _will_ match
} up is her lawyer. Funny how that works. Bring that up at the next
} meeting.
}
} You owe the Oracle a judicial precedent for suing God, plus a way of
} collecting damages.

--- 544-09 ------------------------------------------------------------
> Yeah, Mr. Oracle? This is Thom Dewey, from Dewey Stickem & Howe?
> Yeah, yeah, that's us. Well, look, that dame? Her lawyer called back,
> and he said that the blood test matched and they're going to make a
> motion for a DNA sample. Yeah, I know, they can do that now. It's
> pretty accurate, Mr. Oracle. I can fight the motion, but I don't
know
> if we'll win...are you SURE you were giving a speech in Missoula at
the
> time? The prosecution is going to try and pull that
> omnipotent-beings-can-be-in-two-places-at-once stuff again, you know?
> This is almost as bad as that little Southern number last year. I
> know, I KNOW, I shouldn't have mentioned it. I'm sorry, Mr. Oracle.
> Look, all she wants in child support; if we pay her off, it won't go
to
> court and Lisa will never know. Do you think we should cut a deal?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The Oracle is a loving being, and it should be known to those who would
} criticize my actions that, even though I am omnipotent, I have needs.
}
} The Oracle is a responsible being, for I know the wisdom of the
} ancients says that responsibility for your actions is a part of being
} great.
}
} The Oracle is also a generous being, and is, in fact, wealthy enough
} to support numerous children without even noticing a difference in
} his bank books.
}
} The Oracle, is, however, not to be challenged by any mere mortal. Have
} my snipers drop her, and bring me the kid.
}
} You never got this letter, understand?
}
} The Oracle demands payment of one weeks' retainer fees. Now, go, and
} carry forth my orders.

Niles D. Ritter

unread,

Dec 13, 1993, 1:14:26 PM12/13/93

Archive-name: firesign-theatre/lyrics
Last-modified: 1993/09/21
Version: 1.5

About This Archive
------------------

Changes:

1. "About this Archive" notice updated.

Side 3) Firesign Theatre: Lyrics to Songs

@ALBUM: I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus

@SONG: Back from the Shadows, again
-------------------------------------------------
(Sung to the tune of "Back in the Saddle, again")

The Whisperin' Squash[singing]:

Back from the Shadows again !
Out where an In-jun's your friend!
Where the veg'tables are green,
And you can pee into the stream!
Yes, we're back from the Shadows again!

Reprise (Whisperin' with others):
We're goin' back to the Shadows again !
Out where an Indian's your friend!
Where the vegetables are green,
And you can pee right into the stream!
(And that's important!)
We're back from the Shadows again!

@ALBUM: TV or Not TV

@SONG: Rat in a box
------------------------------------------------------
(Also heard on the Nick Danger "Yolks" video)

Intro:

When you can't stand the pace
In the Big Rodent Race
'Come on in where it's safe
Where the menu is tref... ###- "tref" means "non-kosher"

There's a smell in the air
that reminds you of hair
You've got something to get
and it looks like your pet!

(aren't you hungry ?)

First we take some rat parts
and fry them up real nice..

Then we skin the kitties,
and barbeque the mice!

Bridge:

Guts in a Cup! (Yum!)
Mouse on a Stick! (Wow!)
French-fried Fleas
and Beer-battered Ticks!

Chorus:

Ra-aaat in a box...
(We fry what you won't--)
Ra-aaat in a box...
(We fry what you won't--)
Ra-aaat in a box...
(We fry what you won't...TOUCH!)

@ALBUM: Not Insane!

@SONG: Papoon for President!
----------------------
Papoon, Papoon for President!
There is no one to Blame!
Papoon for our chief President!
You Know He's not Insane!

@ALBUM: Hemlock Stones: The Giant Rat of Sumatra

@SONG: Frigate Matilda
-------------------------
Frigate Matilda! Frigate Matilda!
Won't you come frig in the riggin' with me?
Oh we swung from the bunk and bunged
another cabin boy!
Won't you frig old Matilda with me!

@ALBUM: How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At
all?
@SONG: I can tell by the pie on your tie
---------------------------------
I can tell by the pie on your tie
you're an American, well so am I!
Hi bub, How are ya? How do ya' do?
And while we're on the subject...
And while we're on the subject...
(And while we're on the subject)
How's your old Wazoo ?!

@SONG: I was born.....an American!
---------------------------
I was born.....an American!
I was raised...an American!
And I'll die...an American!
In America,with Armenians!

@SONG: A little song I learned upstream in prison one day
--------------------------------------------------
This land is made of mountains,
This land is made of mud,
This land has lots of everything
For me and Elmer Fudd.
This land has lots of trouser,
This land has lots of mausers,
And pussy cats to eat them
when the sun goes down!

@SONG: What makes America Great?
-------------------------------------------------
It's candied apples and ponies with dapples
you can ride all day!
It's girls with pimples
And cripples with dimples
that just wont go away !
Its spics and wops and niggers and kikes
with noses as long as your arm!
Its micks and chinks and gooks and geeks
and honkies
(Honk! Honk!)
who never left the farm !

@SONG: Yankee Doodle Came To Terms
---------------------------------------

Yankee Doodle came to terms,
Writing Martin Buber.
Stuck a Fuehrer in our back,
And called it Shicklegruber!
[trumpet plays "retreat"]

@SONG: Pick A Bale O' Dacron
--------------------------------

You gotta jump down, spin around! (Huhn!)
And pick a bale o' Dacron
You gotta jump down, spin around!
And pick some Nylon, too!
[whipcrack] Agggh...!

@SONG: Loostners Castor-Oil Flakes
--------------------------------------
Oh, it ain't no use
If you ain't got the boost
The boost you get from
Loostners
(Loo-ooo-oosnters)

@ALBUM: Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers
@SONG: The Rough-As-A-Cob March
-------------------------------------------

(source: From "Big Book of Plays", page 62-63)

Choir: We're marching, marching to Shibboleth,
With the Eagle and the Sword!
We're praising Zion 'til her death,
Until we meet our last reward!
Men: Our Lord's reward!
Women: Zion! Oh happy Zion!
O'er wrapp'd, but not detained!
Men: Lion, f'rocious Lion!
His beard our mighty mane!
Women: At First and Main!
Men: Oh, we;ll go marching, marching to Omaha,
With the Buckram and the Cord!
Women: You'll hear us "boom" our State!
Men: Ha, ha! As we cross the final ford!
Women: The flaming Ford!
Choir: Zion! Oh mighty Zion!
Your bison now are dust!
As your cornflakes rise
"Gainst the rust-red skies,
Then our blood requires us must
Go ...
Men: Marching, marching to Shibboleth,
With the Eagle and the ...
Women: The Buckram and the Cord!
Men: Sword! Praising Zion 'til her death!
Women: Ha, ha!
Men: Until we eat our last reward!
Women: The flaming Ford!
Choir: Zion! Oh righteous Zion!
There is no one to blame!
For the homespun pies
'Neath the cracking skies
Shall release the fulsome rain!
Tenor: Shall release!
Men: Shall release!
Soprano: Shall release!
Women: Shall release!
Choir: Shall release the vinyl rein!

@SONG: Peorgie's Song
---------------
(Android Sisters:)
Porgy Tirebiter!
He's a spy and a girl delighter,
Orgie Firefighter!
He's just a student like you.

If you're looking for a Captain of the Ringball Team,
You can bet he won't be there.
You'll find him pa-popping off at Pop's Sodium Shoppe,
Tr-trailing a red,<tweet,tweet!> with red hair.
Doobie doo-wah...
Porgy Tirebiter!
Just a student like you!
(PORGY:) "Like me?!"
Just a student like you!
(Father:) "Stop singing and finish your homework !"
Just a student like you! ooooooooooo..."

@SONG: We're bringing the war back home
----------------------------------
We're bringing the war back home
Where it ought to have been before!
We'll kill all the bees
And spiders and flies
And we wont play in iceboxes lying on their sides
We'll wash our hands after wee-wee.
And if we're a girl, before!
And we'll march,march,march, et cetera!
'Til we never do march no more!
(All together, now, boys!)
We're bringing the war back home
Where it ought to have been before!
The pretty donut girl on the corner
Will be smilin' with a wringer in her hair!
We'll wash our hands after wee-wee,
And if we're a girl before!
And we'll march, march, march, et cetera!
'Till we don't have to march no more
(Hum along now...)
We won't have to March!
We won't have to March!
We won't have to March no more!

-------------------------- End Side 3 ------------------------

Niles D. Ritter

unread,

Dec 13, 1993, 1:14:50 PM12/13/93

Archive-name: firesign-theatre/lexicon
Last-modified: 1993/11/20
Version: 1.8

About This Archive
------------------

Send new entries/updates, etc. to n...@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov.

Changes:
1. Corrections to entries:
{TIREBITER}: Ossman never went to USC.

Side 4) The Firesign Theatre: Lexicon and Concordance File
==========================================================

[A]
---

ALVARADO: {PICO}'s sidekick, as in "It's Pico and Alvarado". From the
streets Pico and Alvarado in Los Angeles. PICO and ALVARADO are both
{BEANERS}. They are featured in the plays {BOZOS},{DWARF}, as well as
others. {NICK DANGER} had to swim down Alvarado to his convertable
during a severe rain storm. Pico and Alvarado sometimes like to
yell, "{PARK} it and Lock it! Not Responsible!"

AMES: Harry Ames, Jr. A fictional actor who portrays Lieutenant
{BRADSHAW} on the {NICK DANGER} series. There is also a Gun
Salesman names Ed Ames, who runs the "Ames Guns" store in {DWARF}.

ANCHOVIES: Small fish with beady little eyes. We first encounter
anchovies in {DWARF}, when George Tirebiter calls a {PIZZA} parlor
(note the name of the pizza joint he calls):

GEORGE [mumbling]: Let's see...Ocelots. Paupers. Pipe-nipples,
Polombras, Pizzas! Armenian Gardens...Hank's Juggernaut...
New Leviathan...Nick's Swell...
SOUND: HE PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS. THE NEWSCAST GOES ON.
< Broadcast deleted>
GEORGE [phoning]: Uh, this is George Tirebiter, Camden N 200 R.
[pause] Uh, I want to order a pizza to go, and no anchovies.
[pause] What ? [clicks phone] Oh, man! Nobody will come
up here at all!

Apparently, Tirebiter mistakenly called {NICK DANGER}, in the
episode, "Cut 'Em Off at the Past". On that album, we hear the
same conversation, but from the other side of the phone:

ANNOUNCER: He walks in! He's ready for mystery...he's ready for
excitement! He's ready for anything...he's...
SOUND: TELEPHONE PICKED UP
NICK: Nick Danger, Third Eye!
GEORGE: (ON FILTER) Uh-I wanna order a pizza to go, and no
anchovies.
NICK: No anchovies? You've got the wrong man. I spell
my name...Danger! [click]
GEORGE: (FILTER) What?
MUSIC: "NICK DANGER" THEME IN AND UNDER.

Note: This is a direct quote from the "Big Mystery" Joke book, and
so the attribution of "GEORGE" to the guy on the other side of the
phone is the FT's, not an inference (some people thought it was
the voice of the teenage Porgie that called Nick).

In another episode of Nick Danger, "The case of the Missing Yolks"
(Video), and the "Three faces of Al" (album), Rocky {ROCOCO} calls
up Nick at the start of the play, and turns everything around:

ROCKY: I want to order an anchovy to go, and hold the pizza.
NICK: Anchovies?
ROCKY: Yeah, those little black things, with eyes!
NICK: You've got the wrong man. I spell my name
(LOOKS BACK AT THE DOOR) ...REGNAD.

ARTIE CHOKE: A {HOLOGRAM} in the FT's {BOZO} play. Artie, the Lonesome
Beet and the Whisperin' Squash were all once intended to be characters
in an FT western radio show, featuring an all-vegetable cast.

AUSTIN: Philip Austin, one of the FT members.

[B]
---

BABE: The name of {EVERYMAN} in the FT's play {TWO PLACES}. In the
liner notes for the "Two Places" CD, Phil Austin writes:

It has often been correctly note that the progress of Babe is linked
with that of Odysseus, the hero of Homer's Epic poem, "The Odyssey".
Although HCYB does not literally follow the form of "The Odyssey",
there are several key meetings between the two stories and certainly,
like Joyce's "Ulysses", HCYB derives much inspiration from the age-old
story of a man trying to return home. Odysseus (Ulysses) finds himself
imprisoned, bound by the spell of the witch Calypso, when his outrages
against the gods are forgiven and he is allowed to return home. All
we will see of this on HCYB is Babe running across a street, nearly to
be killed, and entering the emporium of one {RALPH SPOILSPORT}, who
may or may not be the god Hermes, sent to sell Babe the instrument of
his homecoming. (Some see HCYB as the musings of Ralph, that Ralph is
the storyteller and Babe portrays him as a young man. Well...)

BARNEY: Barney is a {BOZO}. The new "Bozo" CD gives a definition:

"Barny or Barney: In the English circus, a fight. The closest
American equivalent is {CLEM}."

BBOP: Not Bee-bop, but the FT's "Big Book of Plays".

BEAR WHIZ BEER: A popular beverage in FT plays, heard in both
{EYKIW} and in {YOLKS}. "It's in the water! that's why it's yellow!"
Currently a company in Colorado has appropriated the Logo for tee-shirts
and posters [###and the editor spotted a *Neon* sign of BWB in Manitou
Springs during a recent vacation!].

BEDDOES: Dr. Beddoes, head of Dr. Beddoes Pneumatic Institute,
which in real life was a 19th century operation dedicated to
experimenting with nitrous oxide (laughing gas).

BERGMAN: Peter Bergman, one of the FT members.

BOB BUNNY: A fifteen year-old kid, who is the side-kick of {MARK TIME}
of the Circum-Solar Federation. He is also a fan of {YOUNG GUY}, Motor
Detective, and asks him the {PORRIDGE BIRD} question, which he found
carved on the Great Wall of Mars.

BOTTLES: {MUDHEAD}'s crazy hopped-up girlfriend, in Porgie {TIREBITER}
movies. She is played by Barbara Bobo. Her name is likely a
play on the word "Jugs".

BOZO: See {BOZOS}.

BOZOS: A Bozo likes to {CLONE} and be with other Bozos. One of the
{FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT. Honk! Honk! See also
{BEANERS}, {BOOGIES}, {ZIPS} and {BERZERKERS}. Featured in the FT
play,"I Think Were All Bozos's on this Bus". The FT gives the following
definition:

"BOZO: A man, fellow, guy; esp. a large, rough man or one with more
brawn than brains. 1934: "Drive the heap, bozo" -- Chandler,
_Finger Man_. From Sp. dial. "boso" (from "vosotros") - you (pl.)
which resembles a direct address."

--Dictionary of American Slang by Wentworth and Flexner, 1960.

B.O.Z.O is also referred to as an acronym for the "Brotherhood Of {ZIPS}
and Others".

BEANERS: A non-offensive term derived from the ethnically offensive
one, referring to the lifestyle rather than the race. One of the
{FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT.

BEATLES: A 60's Rock-and-Roll group (I can't believe I actually would
have to explain this, but I do). A few Beatles references:

In {NICK DANGER}:

Rocky Rococo: A play on "Rocky Raccoon"

Catherwood: says "Goo-goo-goo-joob" (ref: "I am the Walrus"),
and then says "I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink"
(cf "I'm So Tired", from the "White Album"). His references
to {CELLOPHANE}, although a clear {SFX} device, could also
be the line "Cellophane flowers of yellow and green"
(cf "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" -- Sgt. Pepper).

Nick: says his story has more holes in it than the Albert Hall
(cf "A Day in the Life" -- Sgt. Pepper).

"It was Pig nite at the Om mani padme Sigma House."
is a reference to the mantra: "Om mani padme hum" (note
the awful math pun: Sigma-->Sum-->Hum). This also possibly
a reference to "Piggies" on the White Album, although
some Fraternities actually used to have a Pig Nite, where
they would bring ugly women.

Nancy: "<long list of names>, but everyone knew her as Nancy"
is from "Rocky Raccoon" (White Album, again!):

Her name was Magil and she called herself Lil
But everyone knew her as Nancy...

Also, her boyfriend's name is "Dan" in the Song
(Dan Catherwood):

Now she and her man who called himself Dan
Were in the next room at the hoe down

In {HEMLOCK STONES}, they sing "Get Back" at the end.

In {HCYB}, one of the {RALPH SPOILSPORT} motors commercials begins,
"Don't we do it in the road here at Ralph's Spoilsport Motors..."
(cf "Why Dont We Do it In the Road" from the "White Album").

One of the kids in "Le Trent Huit Cunegonde" (Returned for Regrooving)
was named "Malcom X.John Lennon"

In the "Dear Friends" album, one of the skits ends with a politician
singing, "Those Moscow girls really knock me out" (a mis-quote from
"Back in the USSR" -- the girls were Ukrainian).

BERZERKER: See {BERZERKERS}.

BERZERKERS: One of the {FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT.

BMJB: The FT's "Big Mystery Joke Book", containing the transcripts
of {HEMLOCK STONES} Sumatran Rat play, {NICK DANGER}'s "Cut 'Em Off
at the Past" play, "Temporarily Humboldt County", "{MARK TIME}" from
the "Dear Friends" album, "{YOUNG GUY}", motor detective, and others.

BOOGIES:A non-offensive term derived from the ethnically offensive one,
referring to the lifestyle rather than the race. One of the
{FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT.

BRADSHAW: Lieutenant Alvin Bradshaw, in the FT police forces. Loosely
based on the Officer Bradshaw from the old Highway Patrol episodes,
Bradshaw is constantly pestering the private investigators
{NICK DANGER} and his Javanese counterpart {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective.
{YOUNG GUY} once discovered that "BRAD" stands for "Bernard",
indicating that Bradshaw is actually "George Bernard Shaw, famous
author and riterary smart-guy". Bradshaw is played by the fictional
character Harry Ames, Jr.

BUS: What I think We're all {BOZO}'s on. The "Bozo" CD liner notes
quote the following definition:

"BUS: A circuit in a mixing board which carries signals from one
or more inputs to any output or set of outputs."

The {PRESIDENT} is referred to as the "Terminal Bus -- the output".

[C]
---

CELLOPHANE: An {SFX} tool, used to simulate fire on radio. In
{NICK DANGER}, Catherwood asks if he Nick wants to pull his "cues" out
of the cellophane before they scorch. See also {CORNSTARCH}.

CHEESE: Many types of CHEESE appear in FT skits: {GORGONZOLA} the
Cheese-monster, Cheese-Logs, Cheese-Log-Throws, not to mention {RAT}S.
On the album cover of {ITNWYOYO}, on the wall (below the billboards for
'Dead Cat Soap" and "Billy Jack Dogfood") there are signs for 'Bowel
{OIL}' and'{SWELL} Cheese'. See also {PIZZA}.

CLEM: The {EVERYMAN} of the FT play {BOZOS}. Also known as "UhClem" to
the main computer in the {FUTURE FAIR}. The liner notes for "Bozos"
quotes the following definition from "The Language of American Popular
Entertainment":

"Clem: Its most common meaning is that of a general fight or riot
between town hoodlums who attack shows and the circus or carnival
employees. As an interjection, clem has replaces 'hey rube' as a
battle cry for a forthcoming fight.

In this case, Clem attacks the Future Fair main computer by inserting
a gypsy program to confuse {DOCTOR MEMORY}, bringing the whole operation
down. The FT in later skits apparently developed Clems motivation
and story as follows (David Ossman writes):

"Clem, a shoeless computer programmer for the Fair, was fired after
he re-programmed the {RALPH SPOILSPORT} Speedway ride to 'Smoke Dope'
ie, slow down, free-associate, play. He has now re-entered the Fair
and broken into the maintenance circuits of {DOCTOR MEMORY} in order
to re-program it to 'forget the past'. As on the album, he succeeds
in confusing the good Dr. into contradictory on/off instructions
which sabotage the machine and destroy the fantastic illusions we
had taken for Reality.

CLONE: To either replicate yourself into a {HOLOGRAM}, or to act like
all the other {BOZO}S.

CONFIDENCE IN THE SYSTEM: A timely drug. Here's an advertisement
for it by the FT on Ben Bland's All Day Matinee on the "Just Folks"
album.:

You know, this is the midst of the disillusionment and heartbreak season
and,with the recent outbreak of that suicidal strain of despair up in
Boston,well, you'd better keep a close watch on your emotions. So
remember the seven danger signals of depression; that's a general and
lasting feeling of hope-lessness, inability to concentrate, loss of
self-esteem, fear of rejection, feelings of guilt, misdirected anger,
and extreme dependency on others. At the first sign of these symptoms,
friends, follow these simple rules: keep working, drink as much as
possible, and... take your television's advice. And y'know more TV's
recommend an amazing new psychic breakthrough than any other, and
that's... Confidence in the System. Fast, safe, and guaranteed through
constant Federal control, Confidence in the System will keep THEM in
power longer, longer, longer, and tend to calm and obscure the miseries
of disillusionment and despair. In easy-to-swallow Propaganda form or
new fast-acting Thought Control, that's Confidence in the System. So
have some... today.

CORNSTARCH: Used to simulate snow in {NICK DANGER}. Catherwood asks
Nick to come in out of the Cornstarch and dry his mucklucks by the
fire.

CUNEGONDE: As in "Le Trent Huit Cunegonde" (The 38th Cunegonde).
This is referred to in {DWARF}, and is the title of another FT piece.
Cunegonde has generated quite a discussion amongst the FT irregulars...

A number of fans noted that Cunegonde is the daughter of the Baron
Thunder-ten-tronckh, a central character in Voltaire's "Candide".

Jeff Bulf notes the use of this name elsewhere in the arts:

Cunegonde and its variants in other languages seems to be a standard
name for what we would now call "bimbo" characters in European film.
And presumably in stage before that. I cannot remember the title of a
black-and-white scandinavian movie with tease/tart named Kunigunda.
I saw it when I was in high school anyway, which puts it before the
first Firesign performances. (Was it a Bergman? Doesn't sound like
his sort of character.)

The name seems to be used as if it were a month; several fans have tried
to link it with the French Revolution and its renaming of the calendar
months; E.g., July became "Thermidor" -- best recalled by the
"Thermidorean reaction" that followed some brutality as the revolution
took its course.

As for the origin of the name Cunegonde, Evan M Corcoran was kind enough
to track this down with the help of his brother in France:

...Here's what he came up with, from the five volume Grand Larousse
dictionary, translated free for your personal libation:

Cunegonde - (saint), Germanic imperatrice (v. 978 - abbey of
Kaufungen, Hesse, 1033 or 1040 [I'm not exactly sure what this means,
I'll ask my brother]) Spouse of Henri II the Saint, canonised in 1200.

later he has continued:

One more historical note: I checked out Sainte Cunegonde, and as far
as I could determine, she is not the patroness of anything. There is
ANOTHER Sainte Cunegonde who is patroness of Poland and Lithuania,
but she's not the one parodied in Candide. Or is she... Both
Cunegondes are also spelled Kunigonda in some places. And St. Vitus
is the patron of comedians.

So, Cunegonde might be saint of something (perhaps, Cows?)

[D]
---

DCTDHMTP: Don't Crush That {DWARF}, Hand Me the Pliers!.

DOCTOR MEMORY: The big computer that runs everything in the
{FUTURE FAIR}, described in the FT's {BOZO} play. The Doctor was also
mentioned in a poem on the "Dear Friends" album. He is based on an old
SAILON LISP program written for the PDP-10 running the TOPS-10 operating
system.

DWARF: "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers": An FT play about
the life of the {EVERYMAN} George {TIREBITER}. The title appears to be
a marijuana reference. "Dwarf" is slang for a marijuana cigarette
which has been almost completely consumed (ie, "roach") and the
"pliers" are pliers or any other device which can be used to hold the
dwarf by the very end in order to consume the rest of the cigarette
("roach clip"). Hence, "don't crush that nearly-consumed marijuana
cigarette, hand me a pair of pliers (so that I can smoke the rest)."
This could also be tied in to Hal Roach, the famous producer of old
silent comedies, who only recently died at the age of 100+. He is given
a brief mention at the end of "Dwarf", when {TIREBITER}'S secretary
indicates that Mr. Roach had left a message, along with Laurel & Hardy,
Harpo Marx ("Honk! Honk!- he would leave his name..") The FT sometimes
refer to a "Hot Roach Studios", which they presumably ran.

The liner notes for the "Dwarf" CD mentions that the original title
for Dwarf was "We'll be Heironymus Bosch in Jest a Minute, but Faust..."
indicating connections between the play and the man who "sold out" to
the devil, as well as the nature of interruptions as a part of life.

{ROCKY ROCOCO}, the nemesis of {NICK DANGER}, is a dwarf:

CATHER: "Nancy, who's that ugly dwarf with his hand in your mouth?"
ROCKY: "Rocky Rococo, at your cervix!"

There were also dwarf maples at the {SAME OLD PLACE}

[E]
---

EAT FLAMING DEATH: From the Jargon Lexicon of the Hacker's
Dictionary:

eat flaming death: imp. A construction popularized among hackers by
the infamous CPU Wars comic; supposed to derive from a famously
turgid line in a WWII-era anti-Nazi propaganda comic that ran
"Eat flaming death, non-Aryan mongrels!" or something of the sort
(however, it is also reported that the Firesign Theater's
1975 album "In The Next World, You're On Your Own" included the
phrase "Eat flaming death, fascist media pigs"; this may have been
an influence). Used in humorously overblown expressions of
hostility. "Eat flaming death, EBCDIC users!"

ELECTRICIAN: "Waiting for the Electrician, or Someone like
Him".Another FT play, featured on the album of the same name. The
first of the cycle of plays following the life of {EVERYMAN},named
P, in this case.

The Electrician was also a mysterious character that appeared in the
{HEMLOCK STONES} play "The Giant Rat of Sumatra", and pursued the great
{ZEPELLIN TUBE} that was stolen by Jonas ACME. Little did Jonas
realize that the Electrician was in fact, his own ward and heir,
young Frank Acne, Jr.!

EVERYMAN: A useful term to describe the often nameless heroes of the
FT plays. The FT's {BBOP} book describes how the hero transmutes from
one play into the next(summarized here):

"Waiting for the {ELECTRICIAN} or Someone like Him": The{EVERYMAN} is
named "P" (after Phil, and in homage to Kafka's K).The play ends with
"P" escaping from the country Enroute...

...and winding up on Ventura Blvd, in the process of buying a new car.
{EVERYMAN}'s name is now Babe, and his story is told in "How Can You Be
in {TWO PLACES} At Once, when you're not Anywhere At All". Babe drifts
through many adventures, and with the help of {RALPH SPOILSPORT}, falls
asleep to a hemp-laced version of James Joyce's Molly Bloom soliloquy
from Ulysses...

( as a side trip, Babe and {NICK DANGER} are literally flip-sides of
each other: "Wait a minute; didn't I say that on the other side of
this record?" THAT's how you can be in two places at once!)

...and wakes up at 4AM, now named George Leroy {TIREBITER}! His story
is now told by the {DWARF} play, as the {EVERYMAN} sees his life played
out on various channels of the television, where he is, by turns, an
old movie director, a political candidate,a child star, a high-school
kid, an adult actor, an Army Officer,and a quiz-show MC. Eventually, he
"sells out", wakes up from the TV world, regains his youth, and runs
out to get an ice-cream bar from the truck...

...Hunger satisfied, and with nothing else to do on a beautiful Fall
morning, George-now transmogrified into a young man named {CLEM} -- is
amused and intrigued by the arrival of the {FUTURE FAIR} Tour Bus, as
described in the {BOZO}S play (note that when Barney,the {BOZO},
reminds Clem to inflate his {SHOES},Clem replies that he no longer wears
shoes -- as Porgie {TIREBITER} in {DWARF} did).As he wanders through
the Fair, he asks both the {PRESIDENT}and{DOCTOR MEMORY} a question
about the {PORRIDGE BIRD},which brings down the whole show. The fair and
all its creations vanish, leaving only the fireworks of the departure.
And now, the story changes,and the Future is Past, (coming full circle
?) ...

EYKIW: Everything You Know Is Wrong! An FT play satirizing {SEEKER}S.

[F]
---

FALL OVER: A common phrase occurring throughout FT plays is "(s)He's
no fun, (s)he fell right over". This is tied indirectly to {FUDD'S LAW}:
If you push something hard enough it will fall over. {NANCY} is a
real push-over. See also {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT} and {BOZO}.

Lots of people fall over in FT plays, presumably in obedience to
{FUDD'S LAW}. Among them, {BABE} in the {TWO PLACES} play,{NANCY} fell
over in
an episode of {NICK DANGER}, Third-eye,and Edmund's Nuncle fell over in
the play "Waiting for the Count of Monte Cristo (or someone like Him,"
in the {NOT INSANE} album ("What,what,Dead drunk ... NAY DEAD!").

The Nick Danger reference is particularly dizzying, as the following
transcript shows:

NANCY: [DIZZY] The whole world is spinning!
NICK: That's lucky for us! If it were flat, all the Chinese would
fall off!

[SOUND OF NANCY FALLING]

NICK: She's no fun, she fell right over. Wait a minute...didn't I
say that on the other side of the record. Where am I? I better
check...

[PORTION OF OTHER SIDE OF RECORD PLAYED BACKWARDS]

NICK: Oh, it's OK, they're speaking Chinese..

-- Note: the "Chinese" are on the other side of a *flat* vinyl record,
which is spinning!

This phrase was quoted recently by the character Dr. Venckman on the
cartoon version of "The Real Ghostbusters", in the episode titled,
'My Uncle Harold'.

In {BOZO} we hear, "Animals without backbones hid from each other,
or fell down."

FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN: {BOZO}S, {BOOGIES}, {BEANERS}, {ZIPS} and
{BERZERKERS}. The FT's {BBOP} book describes them all as follows:

<pre>

The five lifestyles of man in the future are, starting from top to
bottom, though it's circular:

First the {BERZERKER}. Clue to a Berserker: Anybody who's got a
gun.Anybody in a lime-green car with eight-foot tires, called Demon or
Barracuda. Any Army officer, anybody in uniform. A Bobby is not a
Berserker. But maybe he is because he carries his job, his badge. Most
people who have jobs. There's a Berserker aspect to all of us. You can
play softball with a Berserker. A Berserker doesn't always have to
kill, but in the back of his mind, it's not a bad idea.

Under the Berserkers are the {ZIPS}. The archetypal Zip is the 1930's
guy with the thin moustache. Zips have always been concerned with hair.
We're exhibiting Zip tendencies in having rather fancily cut
moustaches. We're all prone to these various aspects. There's a Zip in
everyone's kip, is the World War One English expression. Zips love new
products. Zips are often found inside new headphones. They've got zip,
pep. Zzzzzip! Zip me up! Most actors are Zips. There's a category
called Hip Zip, which David invented yesterday.

B.O.Z.O. is the Brotherhood of Zips and Others. Bozos are people who
band together for fun and profit. They have no jobs. Anybody who goes
on a tour is a Bozo. Why does a Bozo cross the street? Because there's a
Bozo on the other side. It comes from the phrase *vosotros*, meaning
others. They're the huge, fat, middle waist. The archetype is an Irish
drunk clown with red hair and nose, and pale skin. Fields, William
Bendix. Everybody tends to drift towards Bozoness. It has Oz in it.
They mean well. They're straight-looking except they've got inflatable
shoes. They like their comforts. The Bozos have learned to enjoy their
free time, which is all the time.

(###"*vos otros*" is a multilevel pun on the spanish noun, *bosotros*,
meaning clowns, "the 'b' and the 'v' being the same" -- ed.)

Now, the {BOOGIES}. You see a bunch of Boogies around you. That's our
lifestyle. There are more spades in this class than any other. But the
world is changing. There are now getting to be a lot of spade Zips. And
spade Bozos. Boogies don't differentiate between grass and alcohol.
People who work in post offices are generally Boogies. They take it
easy. They don't Zip. They're not Bozos because they don't clone. They
boogie around rather than hanging around one another. They Boogie.

The other class is the {BEANERS}. The Beaners live outside the Law of
Gravity. They have more color television sets than anybody in the
world. They're always appearing either on or with you color TV. They
watch themselves on color TV. Beaners are very concerned with their own
refuse, which they leave piled up around their house, but always in
use. They're always going to use it. Hundreds of old pickup trucks. All
Indians are Beaners. They don't care. Why should they? Beaners can't
tell lies. They fear no one. "Don't point your finger at me Daddy-o, I
cut it off!" Pico and Alvarado are Beaners. We love the Beaners.

Most youth is Bozo-like now [early 70's]. That's why people get so
upset when Berzerkers come into a Bozo gathering. 'Cause Bozos never do
anything to anybody. Bozos keep having rock festivals. They create
marijuana free-areas. Grass has moved into Bozodom.

The Berserkers and Zips run things now. Why does a Zip pay taxes?
Because he likes to fill out the forms. Berserkers run things by
telling you the Beaners are going to get you. Those desperate Beaners
may strike at any time! All politicians are Berserkers.

</pre>

Update for the 90's:

During the late 70's the youth began drifting into {ZIP}ness, with the
disco-era, and the general populace, in definite {BERZERKER} mode,began
the Reagan years....

The use by former {PRESIDENT} George Bush, referring to some other
politicians as "Bozos" may not have been influenced by the FT, but it
might as well have been. Bush himself, like most politicians,was a
{BERZERKER}.

Clinton has been showing definite {BOZO} tendencies in the way that he
{CLONES}, {BOOGIE}ness with his non-inhaling experiments,{ZIP}ness with
Cristophe, but to date only a few {BERZERKER} tendencies...

But remember: it's all cyclical!

FLOTSAM JETSAM: The sidekick of {HEMLOCK STONES}.

FOUR OR FIVE CRAZY GUYS: The Firesign Theatre.

FUDD'S LAW: "If You Push Something Hard Enough, It Will {FALL OVER}".
A Law Enunciated by the FT in the {WALL OF SCIENCE} segment of
{ITWABOTB}. The full name is "Fudd's First Law of Opposition", and
was enunciated by Sir Sidney Fudd.

Here are some other FT Rules, with references:

1. If you give the people a light, they'll follow it anywhere. {POOP}

2. If you push something hard enough, it'll fall over. {ITWABOTB}

3. If you dig a deep enough hole, everybody'll want to jump into it.
{EYKIW}.

See also {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT}, and {FALL OVER}.

FT: The Firesign Theatre.

FUTURE FAIRE: See {FUTURE FAIR}.

FUTURE FAIR: From {BOZOS} -- The FUTURE FAIR was an amusement park
which looked fondly back to the future. (The movie title "Back to the
Future" may have been influence by this). "A fair for all and no fare
for anybody!" The motivations for this fair are numerous: the 1933
Chicago Worlds Fair, with its "Hall of Science" (see {WALL OF SCIENCE}),
and the 1939 World of Tomorrow Worlds Fair in New York, with its
"Futurama" display.

FTAEBGB: (Faster,Further) Than Anyone's Ever Been Gone Before!
Lots of people are always breaking the limits in FT plays.

In {HEMLOCK STONES} Sumatran {RAT} episode, after installing the
{ZEPPELIN TUBE} into their yacht, Violet Dudley, says, "Whoo! that's

faster than anyone's ever been gone before!

For example, in {NICK DANGER}, "Cut 'Em Off At the Past" episode, we
hear:

CATHERWOOD: "I'll be gone for thousand years!"
NANCY: "Gee, that's longer than anyone's ever been gone before."
CATHERWOOD: "But to you it will seem only a moment. Very well,
my dear: Forward Into The Past!" <fading>
NANCY: "I hope he gets back before all this dry ice melts."

[G]
---

GEORGE TIREBITER: See {TIREBITER}.

GOLDEN HINDE: A series hosted by Bob {HINDE}. "Welcome to the
wonderful world of Snails and adventure as we board the Golden Hinde".
This has been quoted several times in {MST3K}

The `Golden Hind' was the ship in which, in 1577-1580, Francis Drake
sailed around the world. Originally, the ship was named the `Pelican',
but while he was travelling, Drake changed the name in honor of
his patron, Sir Christopher Hatton. Hatton's crest was a golden
hind. (A "hind" is a sort of female deer, more specifically
a female three years or older; especially a female red deer.)

GORGONZOLA: A fearsome cheese-monster! Mentioned by {BRADSHAW} on a
{YOUNG GUY} Motor-Detective radio show, and elsewhere. See also
{CHEESE}.

[H]
---

HCYB: How Can You Be in {TWO PLACES} at Once, When You're Not Anywhere
at All?

HEMLOCK STONES: Yet another FT detective, loosely based on Sherlock
Holmes. Known as "Hemlock Stones, the Great Defective". His sidekick is
{FLOTSAM JETSAM}.

HIDEO GUMP: A Japanese business man, whose son Hideo Gump, Jr.played
the role of {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective!

HINDE: Refers either to the {GOLDEN HINDE} or Bob Hinde, the host of
the show. Briefly appeared in {DWARF}, and in {EYKIW}, where we first
meet the aliens. They have appeared in several {MST3K} episodes as well.

HOLOGRAM: A 3D cybernetic {CLONE} of someone, made popular in the play
{ITWABOTB}.

[I]
---

I CHING: A Chinese fortune telling device, involving the tossing
of coins and observing the binary patterns which come up, and then
looking up the corresponding pattern in an I-Ching dictionary of
patterns. The Firesign Theatre, in writing their {EVERYMAN} plays,
had a tradition of throwing the I-Ching before and after each of their
plays. For example, in {BOZO}'s, the first words we hear are
"Biting Through...", which is an I-Ching.

In "Return for Regrooving" on the {ELECTRICIAN} album, the Hippie
Republic of China reported, "We threw I Ching... out the window!
We are now unanimous!"

{POOH STICKS} are often used to throw the I-Ching.

There was also a Sally I-Ching who just turned 12 today on {DWARF}.

The last line of {NICK DANGER} in {TWO PLACES} is from the I Ching
and is also found in the Unix version documentation for ching(6),
under "DIAGNOSTICS". Here's an excerpt of the "man" page:

CHING(6) GAMES AND DEMOS CHING(6)

The impatient modern may prefer to settle for Chinese cook-
ies; try fortune(6).

SEE ALSO
It furthers one to see the great man.

DIAGNOSTICS
The great prince issues commands,
Founds states, vests families with fiefs.
Inferior people should not be employed.

BUGS
Waiting in the mud
Brings about the arrival of the enemy.

If one is not extremely careful,
Somebody may come up from behind and strike him.
Misfortune.

Sun Release 4.1 Last change: 16 February 1988 2

ITNWYOYO: In the Next World You're On Your Own. An FT album.

ITWABOTB: I Think We're All {BOZO}S On This Bus. One of the
cornerstones of FT philosophy and viewpoints, and the fourth in the
FT's {EVERYMAN} cycle of plays.

INSANE: See {NOT INSANE}.

[J]
---

[K]
---

[L]
---

LEPRECHAUNS: Posed the {PORRIDGE BIRD} question to {EVERYMAN}. And
just
look at the havok THAT recked!

LOOSTNERS: Caster-oil flakes. One of {NICK DANGER}'s sponsors. "With
real glycerin vibra-fome!"

[M]
---

MARK TIME: A space-adventurer from the Circum-Solar Federation,
serialized by the FT in their "Dear Friends" album, and also a
ride in the {FUTURE FAIR}. His side-kick is {BOB BUNNY}.

MEMORY: See {DOCTOR MEMORY}!

MUDHEAD: {PORGIE} {TIREBITER}'s friend in the movies. Motivated
by Jughead and Archie, and by Henry Aldrich, the old radio show.
Speculation: Starting with the second film, Henry's pal was a certain
"Dizzy" Stevens. The connection between Dizzy and Jughead is via
baseball: "Dizzy" Dean was a renowned pitcher, and "Mudhead" was
one of the nicknames of an early black baseball great.

MALMBORG: See {QUID MALMBORG IN PLANO}

MST3K: Mystery Science Theatre 3000. A TV series on the Comedy Channel
which often makes references to obscure Firesign Theatre phrases,
including loose shoes, {SHOES} for industry, hi i'm joe beets, dear
friends, sit in a tree and learn to play the flute, as well as the
{GOLDEN HINDE}.

[N]
---

NANCY: Also known as Melanie Haber, Audrey Farber, Susan
Underhill,and... Betty Jo Bialowsky! {NICK DANGER}'s old college beau,
in "Cut 'em off at the Past!". Her name is a {BEATLES} reference.
Tom Teslacle names his "Automated Pushover" after Nancy, based on
{TESLACLE'S DEVIANT}, a corollary to {FUDD'S LAW}, in {BOZO}.

NICK DANGER: A private-eye, made popular in the FT play,"Nick Danger,
Third Eye", on the {TWO PLACES} album, and in the video episode, "The
Case 0f the Missing {YOLKS}". His Japanese counterpart is {YOUNG GUY},
Motor Detective! He is tied to George {TIREBITER} via {ANCHOVIES},
which George doesn't like on his {PIZZA}s. He is also tied to {BOZO}s
when the Whisperin' Squash suggests to {CLEM} that he could "Cut Em'
Off at the Past".

NOT INSANE: The reason you should have voted for {PAPOON}, rather than
those other {BERZERKERS} and {BOZO}S. He's not insane! Refers also to
the FT's album of the same name. Crazy {ROCKY} also said, "I'm not
insane!" in the {YOLKS} video.

[O]
---

OIL: A famous prayer in {TWO PLACES} goes:

"...annointed with oil on troubled waters? oh Heavenly Grid,
help us bear up thy *Standard, our *Chevron flashing
bright across the *Gulf of Compromise, standing
*Humble on the *Rich Field of *Mobile *American Thinking?
Here in this *Shell, we call Life..."

which has 8(*) oil-company references in it.

OSSMAN: David Ossman, one of the FT members.

OXNARD: A real place on the California coast, home of the {YOLK}s.
{ROCKY ROCOCO} is thought to be responsible for everything bad that
happens there. (In the FT video, "The case of the missing {YOLK}s").

OZ: The land of {BOZOS}. Refers to Radio Free Oz, on Pacifica-sponsored
KPFK radio in Los Angeles, where the FT used to broadcast their show.
David Ossman is also referred to sometimes as Oz.

[P]
---

PAPOON: An FT character who ran for {PRESIDENT}. He's {NOT INSANE}!

PARK: "Park and Lock it! Not Responsible" A common yell in FT plays.
{PICO} and {ALVARADO} yell it a lot. According to the {BBOP} book,
when Peter Bergman was young, he and a kid named Bruce Berger

opened up a parking lot one night in an empty lot across from an

Emporium show in the Midwest. As Peter put it, "We made $50 wearing
Cleveland Indians baseball caps, yelling, "*Park and Lock It! Not
Responsible!"

PICO: {ALVARADO}'s friend, as in "It's Pico and Alvarado". Another
street in Los Angeles.They are also historical references: Pico and
Alvarado were the last two Mexican governors of Alta California.

PICKLES: Lots of pickles in FT. {ROCKY ROCOCO} is always carrying
some around in a brown paper bag, and often wears Pickle on a Rope
perfume. "Pickles down the rat-hole!", says {HEMLOCK STONES}. On
the old "Dear Friends" shows they used to have a squeeky pickle that
you could hear every so often.

PIZZA: Nick's Swell Pizza has a phone number very similar to
{NICK DANGER}'s, when George {TIREBITER} tried to order one. On
{TWO PLACES} we also hear:

SCHNIFTER: Das ist immer alles Aulung und ist rauch mit and potzen
Volkswagen und niemann stint und "Swell Pizza!!"

Nick also fools {ROCOCO} in {YOLKS} by pretending to be a pizza
delivery boy.

PLAYER: Another {EVERYMAN}, in the record "Eat or Be Eaten", who, like
{BABE}, has his adventures in a car.

POOH: Winnie the Pooh has influence a number of FT lines. For example,
Tom Teslacle says "It goes in and out like anything," which is a
misquote of Eeyore (see {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT}) In addition, the FT
would sometimes read directly from the Books of Pooh for each
other's birthdays.

POOH STICKS: Used to throw the {I CHING}.

POOP: A character in many FT plays, who gives speeches with numerous
spoonerisms and Freudian slips, eg. "In the words of the Foundry, er..
Founder, Ukaipa Heep,". Appears as Principal Poop in {DWARF}.

PORRIDGE BIRD: A (mythical?) bird which lays its eggs in the air. Why?
See {WDTPBLHEITA}.

PORGIE: Porgie {TIREBITER}. One of George Leroy {TIREBITER}'s many
personas. Apparently motivated by Archie & Jughead, and by the old
"Henry Aldrich" radio shows.

PRESIDENT: A popular ride in the {FUTURE FAIR}. You get to ask a
question of the computer-operated President, and get a free simulfax
copy of your question, together with his answer. {CLEM} broke the
President by asking him about {PORRIDGE BIRD}s.

...{PAPOON} also ran for President!

PROCTOR: Philip Proctor, one of the FT members. Plays the {POOP},
among many.

[Q]
---
QUID MALMBORG IN PLANO: A mysterious phrase which recurs in {BOZOS}.
It was first exclaimed by the discoverer of {FUDD'S LAW}. No
one (yet) seems to know its true origin, although it is said to have
been written on a cigarette lighter that Phil Proctor used to have,
and belonged to a person named Malmborg, who lived in Plano, Texas.
Another listener is convinced that he saw this pseudo-latin phrase
inscribed in a drawing by Albrecht Duerer.

The phrase seems to be a mixture of latin and middle-english: "Quid"
may be translated from the latin root meaning "this/something/that",
and "plano" simply means "flat/horizontal/smooth".

The nearest translation of "malmborg" we are willing to conjecture is
based on the Middle-English word "malm" which the OED tells us is a
type of man-made chalky clay, which is often worked into "malm-bricks",
so perhaps this phrase refers to the conversion of this(quid) clay
into flat (plano) bricks, as consternation turns to lucidation.

The mixture of ME and latin, together with the brick reference, may
indicate a Freemason influence, but this is wild conjecture on the
part of the editor.

[R]
---

RALPH SPOILSPORT: A used-car salesman, based on Ralph William's ads
in
Los Angeles. Also refers to a kind of mantra, which when recited sounds
like a used-car ad: "Hiya friend, Ralph Spoilsport, Ralph Spoilsport
motors, the largest new-used and used-new dealership...". He appears
in {TWO PLACES}. See {BABE} for a comparison between Ralph and Hermes,
messenger of the gods.

RANCHO MALARIO: A set of Clowndominiums build at a former indian
reservation. Includes the famous "Trail of Tears" golf course. Mentioned
in {TWO PLACES}, and also {EYKIW}, when Bob Hind was interviewing Buz
and Bunny Krumhunger about their visit with the aliens.

RAT: Rats are featured prominently in FT plays, notably, in {HEMLOCK
STONES} "Tale of the Giant Rat of Sumatra", in the song "Rat in a Box"
(in the {NICK DANGER} video, {YOLKS}), and in their play "The Year of
the Rat".

"The Giant Rat of Sumatra" is "a tale for which the world is not yet
ready", which is a line attributed the the "real" Dr. Watson in "The
Adventure of the Sussex Vampire" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

REGNAD KCIN: See {NICK DANGER}, the other way around. See also
{ANCHOVIES}.

RESPONSIBLE: See {PARK}.

ROACH: See {DWARF}.

ROCOCO: See {ROCKY ROCOCO}.

ROCKY ROCOCO: {NICK DANGER}'s nemesis. Rococo is an extended
impression
of Peter Lorre playing Joel Cairo in the film "The Maltese Falcon. His
name is an apparent play on the Beatle's "Rocky Racoon".

Rocky Rococo is known to be a {DWARF}, wear terrible perfumes, like
"pyramid patchuli", and "pickle on a rope". He is also thought to be
responsible for everything bad that happens in {OXNARD}. His main
offensive tactic appears to be to put people on installment plans, and
then pressure them when they can't keep up the payments.

His Japanese counterpart may be Rocky Rocomoto, whose TV series,
"Million-Dollar Monster Crasic" (on the {NOT INSANE} album), featured
the Shake-a-speare play "Anythinge you want to", in addition to
{YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective.

In Minneapolis and maybe nationwide, there is a pizzeria chain called
"Rocky Rococco", with a Middle-Eastern looking guy in a white suit on
the logo.
[S]
---

SAME OLD PLACE: The Old Same Place, in Santa Barbara, where {NANCY}
and
Catherwood, her butler/husband lived.
See also {NICK DANGER}.

SEPULVEEDA: A mis-pronounced street in Los Angeles in {NICK DANGER}.
The actual street is Sepulveda. See also {PICO}, {ALVARADO},
{TAJUNGA}.

SEEKER: There's a seeker born every minute!

SFX: A standard radio term for "Sound Effects" man. {ROCKY ROCOCO}
had to split his "half-a-key" with the SFX man. The tools used in
SFX are often mixed up in FT plays with the real things they're
supposed to imitate: see, eg, {CELLOPHANE}, {CORNSTARCH}.

There are often SFX-reference jokes in FT, For example:

NICK: [MUFFLED VOICE] Rocky Rococo, that sleazy weazle, how did
he get in here? And... How do I make my voice do this?

or:

NANCY: [SLAPPING NOISE] Oh Nicky, Nick, Nick, Nick! Are you all
right?
NICK: [Coming To] Uhhh..Yes.
NANCY: Then stop slapping me!

SHOES: Shoes are ubiquitous in FT plays. "Shoes for industry!" "Don't
take off your shoes!" (Porgie {TIREBITER} did), or if you're a {BOZO}
you can inflate them. In the liner notes for the Bozo CD, Philip
Austin says,

"By now, any serious Firesign Theatre listener knows that 'taking
off your shoes' serves us as an an anology for childhood itself and
its attendant dreams of freedom."

From the back page of the Variety Section of the Minneapolis Tribune,
Oct. 28, 1993. An article written by Mike Harden, Scripps Howard News
Service.
Headline:

FOR DECADES, SHE'S HELPED SUPPLY SHOES FOR DEAD

It's about Alyce Maddox who's worked over forty years for Practical
Burial Footwear, a company that makes special shoes for mortuaries
to bury people in. Bottom of third column:

"Shoes for the dead? Why bother?"

Holy mudhead, mackerel! Life immitates art.

SUGAR: A popular phrase in FT is "More Sugar!". We hear a voice yelling
"More Sugar!" during Pastor Flashes' Hour of Reckoning, in the {DWARF}
play, and mention is made of the "More Sugar Foundation" in the
"Not Insane" album.

SWELL: Swell {CHEESE}, which is put on Nick's Swell {PIZZA}.

[T]
---

TAJUNGA: Yet another mis-pronounced LA street name in {NICK DANGER}.
Tujunga canyon is a bit north of Pasadena, and the FT used to perform
there.

TESLACLE'S DEVIANT: "Who goes in, must come out". This is a corollary
to {FUDD'S LAW}, and is referred to in the {BOZO} play,and also in
{HEMLOCK STONES}, Giant {RAT} of Sumatra play, where Stones chases the
{ELECTRICIAN} into the bathroom, and continues to search, claiming,
"what goes in must come out! Fudd's Law!" First enunciated by
Tom Teslacle ( a reference to Nikolai Tesla) to Dick {BEDDOES}. See
also {NANCY}.

TIREBITER: The last name of George Leroy Tirebiter, anonther
incarnation of P, the {EVERYMAN} in the FT's play {DWARF}. Also the
name of the {YOLK}'S neighbors in the {NICK DANGER} video. The original
George Tirebiter was a dog. In the liner notes for the Dwarf CD,
Phil Austin writes:

The dog, the immortal George Tirebiter, was the doughty unofficial
mascot of USC (Univ. South. Calif.) athletic teams in earlier
times, renowned for his devotion to attacking the spinning wheels
of large American automobiles....

The five ages of George Leroy Tirebiter are these:

-Tirebiter the Child, called Porge or Porgie.
[###Porgie and Mudhead is verbal play on "Archie and Jughead"].

-Tirebiter the College Student, called
George Tirebiter Camden N200-R. [###that's his last name]

-Tirebiter the Soldier, called Lt. Tirebiter.

-Tirebiter the Actor, Called Dave Casman. [###play on {OSSMAN}]

-Tirebiter the Old Man, called George Leroy Tirebiter.

It should also be mentioned that a sixth incarnation of Tirebiter,
named George Matetsky, actually encounters his alter-ego {NICK DANGER},
an Early Bird Theatre presentation of a movie whose title starts with
"Luck".

TORTURING: "Not to be Torturing Me!" Said by HIDEO {GUMP}, Jr., who
played {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective. He was being tortured because
"decision-making factor absent from brain", following a terrible brain-
washing session in radio prison, at the hands of {BRADSHAW} !

TWO PLACES: "How Can You Be in Two Places At Once, when you're not
Anywhere At All?" The record album containg the {EVERYMAN} story of
{BABE}, and also the {NICK DANGER} episode, "Cut Em Off at the Past!"

[U]
---

UNDERHILL: Susan Underhill -- Another of {NANCY}'s last names.

[V]
---

VIOLET DUDLEY: An American ingenue in {HEMLOCK STONES}.

[W]
---

WALL OF SCIENCE: Another ride in the {FUTURE FAIR}, describing the
evolution of the universe. "Man, woman, child, ALL are up against the
WALL OF SCIENCE".

Joes Hanes writes:

..an incisive parody of the 60's high school science films. The
recounting of the history of life makes many allusions to real
paleontology, e.g,

"... sand dollar, which shrank to almost nothing at the bottom of the
pool" refers to the fossil ancestors of all present day sand dollars,
which apparently escaped a mass extinction by virtue of their extremely
small size.

" ... in the late Devouring period, fish became obnoxious" In the real
late Devonian, fish became ubiquitous.

WDTPBLHEITA: Why Does The Porridge Bird Lay His Eggs In The Air? This
question was asked by the character P in {ITWABOTB}, first directly to
the {PRESIDENT}, who broke, and then to {DOCTOR MEMORY},who became
confused, and shut down the whole {FUTURE FAIR}. Dr. Memory kept
getting the question wrong, for example:

"White dust 'n' perished birds leaves its hex in the air?" Nooo.
"Wise doves 'n' parish bards lazy leg in the Eire?" Nooo.
"Wise-ass the poor-rich Barney laser's edge in the fair?"

This question was posed to {EVERYMAN} by the Leprechauns, although
{BOB BUNNY} reported that he found it written on the Great Wall of Mars.
{BOB BUNNY} asked this question of {HIDEO GUMP}, Jr, during a segment
of {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective. Young Guy promised to answer the
question tomorrow!

Reports also indicate that in the record "Eat or Be Eaten", Laura asks
{PLAYER} the question at the end of the record, to which Player
replies, "Aw, that's the old Leprechaun scam... that's EASY!"

An FT fan writes:

This is definitely a classical reference, which I've been racking my
brains for, but can't remember. It seems to me that some Greek or
Roman historian (Herodotus?) describes a bird which does indeed lay its
eggs in the air, with the obvious unfortunate result...

[X]
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[Y]
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YOLK: The poorest people in the country, depicted in {NICK DANGER} and
the "Case of the Missing Yolks" video. They lived in {OXNARD}, and
"Didn't have half of what the have-nots had!".

YOUNG GUY: Another FT private detective. "Young Guy, Motor Detective",
played by {HIDEO GUMP}, Jr.

[Z]
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ZEPELLIN TUBE: A source of immense power, possessed by the Sumatran
{RAT}s in an adventure of {HEMLOCK STONES}.

ZENO'S PARADOX: A paradox devised by the Greek philosopher Zeno,
which seems to prove that motion as such is impossible; Reason:
Consider an arrow flying towards a target. Before it gets to the
target it must first get halfway there, but before it gets to that
point it must first get 1/4 the way there, but before that (etc..)
Since an infinite number of things must be done first, the arrow
could never get *anywhere*; ergo, motion is impossible.

This paradox is referred to indirectly in the {TWO PLACES} album,
where {BABE} falls asleep in his car, while the talking freeway
signs read off:

"Antelope Freeway, one mile"
"Antelope Freeway, one half mile"
"Antelope Freeway, one quarter mile"
"Antelope Freeway, one eighth mile"
"Antelope Freeway, one sixteenth mile"
"Antelope Freeway, one thirtysecondth mile"
"Antelope Freeway, one sixty-fourth mile"
"Antelope Freeway, one one-hundred-and-twenty-eighth mile"
...

ZIPS: As in "I'm hip like a zip, let's take a trip". One of the
{FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN} according to the FT. {BOZO} is an acronym for
"The Brotherhood Of Zips and Others".

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