Study: Cocaine Improves Team Chemistry
DALLAS--According to an informal study conducted by members of the Dallas
Cowboys, the drug cocaine vastly improves team chemistry. The study was
conducted over the course of the first five weeks of the season, in which
the team has gone 5-0.
"There was some bickering in the locker room last season, but things
are totally different this year," said one player, who asked not to be
identified. "The reason? Cocaine. Blow. Nose candy. As soon as we started
experimenting with that, everything changed. We talk for hours now after
the games. We share everything. We know each other's life stories. It's a
real bonding experience. And that's stuff translates to the field as
well. You really want to have a guy's back after you've spent the
previous night making out with him. Um... in a platonic, male-bonding
kind of way."
--
For socialism is not merely the labour question, it is before all things
the atheistic question, the question of the form taken by atheism to-day,
the question of the tower of Babel built without God, not to mount to
heaven from earth but to set up heaven on earth. - Dostoevsky