teenydoomerland: Molly
Mr. Coates
Okay, so y'all who've been keeping score at home may know I
freqent a nightclub I like to refer to as "teenydoomerland" because
of all the teenagers there who appear to be rather doomy. The real
reason I go there is 'cuz of the awesome music (industrial dance mixed
with techno) they play, plus since I've been going there for 3.5 years,
I feel kinda "at home" there. Hard to explain, but to me the feeling
of "home" is not at all related to family, but where I feel I belong,
where I feel comfortable, where I feel I fit in, where I understand my
environment, even if I'm not completely accepted (which I'm not).
But this post isn't about tdl, but rather a LO I have there (LO
= Lust Object, tdl = teenydoomerland) who I shall refer to as 'Molly'
(real named changed to protect the 'innocent' *cough*)). Anyhow, this
Molly character is someone I noticed first about 2-3 months ago, the
same time her friends showed up (platonic friends). These guys are all
expert pool players, making poll challenging for me. I don't complain
'bout that-- long as I have my cue and they play with house cues, I have
enough of an advantage to win 'bout half my games against them while semi-
sober.
Pool is one of the major reasons I still go to tdl. It started out
as just "something to do while bored" but it grew and grew and now I'm
fairly decent at it. It's against my ethics to play for money tho', so
I don't have to worry 'bout hustlers.
Anyway, back to the Molly character. She's 'bout 5'7", making her
'bout 4" shorter than me. She's also a bit overweight. Blonde, or maybe
light brown hair, fair skin, medium eyes. Large breasts that she likes
to show off at times. Not revealing nipples (nudity) but cleavage, I mean.
Often wears bra-like things. Fair skin, with great legs. Anyway, I found
her (find her) very attractive, but have been (so far) unable to approach
her and express such things. I feel she's afraid of me.
I have overheard her talking to the bartender how she's single,
hates the single life, and I've seen her hit on / get hit on other men,
usually slimy cretins I wouldn't trust farther than I could throw them.
But the few times I've said hi to her, she's been very abrupt, quick and
fast to make a getaway, like so many other women. Watch out for that Xibo,
he's SPOOKY. (Softening my image is on my medium list of things to do.)
Why do I find her so attractive? I dunno. She is overweight, mostly
just in the belly tho'. Not by a lot. I've heard her mention it to others,
how she realizes she's overweight, and how it causes problems in finding a
man. But of course anytime I approach her, well... ferget it.
Sometimes I'd feel like I should approach her, and say something
new or different, try to get her attention. "Look, I find you attractive,
being a little overweight doesn't bother me AT ALL, and HEY, I'm a LOT better
than those slimeballs you've been handing your phone number out to." But
no, I've never been able to really do this.
Why? FEAR, of course! It's FEAR, you f00le! FEAR!!!
A totally irrational, stupid, misplaced fear.
Someday I might grow out of it, get past it, overcome it.
But not today.
So, until that day, there's nothin' left for me but to drink.
And drink, and listen to good music, and feel at home, and drink, and
then drive (*) home. Repeat (every Friday or Saturday) until something
substantial changes.
Xibo
(*) -- for a description of 'drive', see next post.
Brad Baillod
>her and express such things. I feel she's afraid of me.
> I have overheard her talking to the bartender how she's single,
>hates the single life, and I've seen her hit on / get hit on other men,
>usually slimy cretins I wouldn't trust farther than I could throw them.
>But the few times I've said hi to her, she's been very abrupt, quick and
>fast to make a getaway, like so many other women. Watch out for that Xibo,
>he's SPOOKY. (Softening my image is on my medium list of things to do.)
The answer is PASTEL COLORS. Pastel colors establish you as "safe."
I used to never wear pastel colors--they were definitely Not My Style.
Only solid full colors would do--bright red or black or white or blue,
the primary colors. I wouldn't be caught dead in pastel.
But there's a reason why the current Polo collection of jackets by
Ralph Lauren consists of nothing but pastel colors! Pastel establishes
you as "safe" to a whole bevy of women from all walks of life! There
aren't many women who are turned off by pastel. When was the last time
you saw a mass murderer with a vat of acid in his apartment wearing pastel,
not including Jeff Dahmer?
Anyway, to continue my own personal pastel story, last Christmas, my mom
got me some gloves, which turned out to be a duplicate of another gift.
So, she had to take them back and pick out another gift herself. Now,
she usually succeeds in buying me clothing (gifts, ok?) that somewhat
matches my personal taste, but this time she bought me a sort of flannel-ish
shirt with PASTEL vertical PINK and LIGHT PURPLE and LIGHT GREEN stripes!
Just the kind of thing I would never wear, that I thought I looked stupid in.
But then my brother, the master of pastel, told me he thought the shirt was
"cool" and that it closely matched one of his--well, I thought he usually
looked pretty good, so I tried wearing it one day. And now it's one of
my favorite shirts! Why, the last time I went to the bar with it, a
couple women actually looked appreciatively at me and started talking to
the guys I was with! I probably said about ten words to them all night,
but I felt the pastel power just radiating outward from my torso as I
stood there tongue-tied. It was almost as good as getting laid. This
Friday I'm going to let the shirt work its pastel magic again.
--
Brad Baillod bai...@eecs.umich.edu