RODS! Serious Business! MALF hypothesis confirmed!
Andrea Chen
>
> > What do you think about the alien use of rods, those life forms which
> > fly too fast for the human eye to see?
>
> I like using them as clue sticks, hence the saying "spare the rod, spoil the child."
>
Mr. Phoenix I always knew you were an alien agent ever since you posted
that false rumor that I'd already won the kotm award thus denying me the
opportunity to win it again! But this proves it!
Rods are evil and the fact that you are employing them as "clue sticks"
(secret memetic message transmitters) to be employed on our children
(our dear sweet lovely, sweet (did I already say that?) innocent
children!) shows that you are in league with the teletubbies to corrupt
the moral fiber of this nation and build a controlled, automated world
where people live in underground bunkers patroled by demonic vacuum
cleaners and sometimes venture out into a giant lawn patrolled by giant
rabbits while being watched by periscopes and a satanic laughing sun
while carrying out conversations which make alt.surrealism seem
sophisticated. (Please note Dali was not a surrealist no matter what
Breton said about the paranoic critical method being essential in
advancing the second stage of the movement. Anyone who differs will be
handed over to the no no for behavior modification.)
So you see Mr. Phoenix I have discovered your foul, filthy and
dastardly game. You sir are a commie and a supporter of John McCain.
You have even boasted that you are a member of the Usenet cartel which
has suppressed the world's most famous writer and made him almost
unknown while encouragingh children to watch Barney so when they grow up
they will want to have sex with our reptoid invaders. In the meantime
you have suppressd key issues such as how whales travel into outer space
using completely natural methods! I bet your ZOG masters are proud of
you, you bad, nasty boy (if for the sake of the argument we assume you
have a gender.)
But you will not succeed! The issue of rods will not die! Why because
in the bastion of truth known as aav we have a hero known as EL who
shall lead us (if only we can develop super fast brains like he has!) to
see rods in real time rather than being required to use a video tape to
watch these little beasties chasing eagles, flying in and out of
penguins mouths, boffing movie stars in Academy Award winning movies and
all the other fould, dastardly, nasty things they do. And we have proof
that this is happening.
Why?! Because EL is a skeptic, a true skeptic who has seen artificial
flying devices clearly not made by human technology and thus believes
there are no aliens. You can't argue with a mind like that!
Furthermore he has such high standards that he has even called into
question the observations of the revered John Wisdom and has declared
that alt.alien.visitors should be purged of "kooks!" W're talking about
a voice of science and reason here and EL has even modestly admitted
that he represents those forces. So if that doesn't prove the existence
of rods (which you Mr. Phoenix have denied by pretending to believe in
them while openly admitting that you use them to program our children to
like Dali!) I don't know what will (prove the existence of rods that
is.)
Like the humble scholar he is, EL doesn't know exactly what rods are
except that they are insects (alleged to live in a cave in Mexico (or so
says Jose who also sells tee shirts on the subject thus making him
expert) from which they venture all over the world) flying at speeds so
great that they can't can't be seen by the naked eye unless you have a
superfast brain like E.L. I however am not afraid to speculate and be
and win the Nobel Prize (if I'm not assasinated by the aliens) so I
personally think that they are confirmation of Dombrowski's MALF
(microscopic alien life form) hypothesis in which the aliens were proven
to be colonies of skin disease which transmit information through
chemical means. The problem with this theory (in the past) was how did
these messages cross oceans and travel fast enough to turn human skin
colonies into an effective information processing device capable of
controlling our brains and making us into a hive mind. The answer is
rods which travel so fat they can't be seen and have been observed
interacting with the killer rabbits who (if the teletubbie hypothesis)
is correct may be the sekrit alien masters of this world. If any one
doubts this I ask them to tune into alt.surrealism.