Holeflapper confined in The Home for the Terminally Bewildered:

[H.]

Salem, Oregon ---
Authorities in this Northern Oregon city (home of The
Salem Asylum) have recaptured the escaped terminally
bewildered and totally insane, one A. Holeflapper also
known as Sir Artie. Authorities also said that 83 year
old Holeflapper was arrested at his home on Lower
Skidrow Street in Portland. He was booked into the
Clackamas County Jail for investigation of first-degree
possession of a forged brain. Sheriff's spokesman Lt.
Ted Wayett says that police received several reports of
indecent exposure by Holeflapper in this county. He
says that after investigating, the county's Interagency
Task Force For Civil Decency obtained an arrest warrant
and raided the home of Holeflapper. The Oregon Tattler
reports that a task force sergeant says officers seized
boxes and bags containing hundreds of thousands of
cut-and-past UFO stories. Holeflapper resisted arrest
and was tasered but continued to claim he was "Two Dogs
Fucking" and not the infamous Holeflapper. Holeflapper
will be housed in the new escape proof Salem Home for
the Mentally Insane and denied all requests for access
to Internet News Groups.

[Rex]

H. wrote:
Holeflapper
> will be housed in the new escape proof Salem Home for
> the Mentally Insane and denied all requests for access
> to Internet News Groups.
>
>

Now if only that last sentence were true. Though we'd also lose a prime
source of entertainment here.

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God is the only being who doesn't need to exist to rule.
-- Charles Baudeleire
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