TEENY-WEENY WRITING FOUND ON SHROUD OF TURN

[Ed Conrad]

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ROME, The Vatican (Rueters) -- One
of the world's greatest mysteries has
finally been solved.
An American scientist has deciperhed
miniscule writing on the Shroud of
Turin in an effort tp determine if the linen
was indeed the burial cloth of Jesus Christ.
"It was a bit disappointing," said Dr. Ed
Conrad. "Using my Tinkertoy miscroscope,
I saw where it clearly says 'Made in China.'
"Of course, the linen may have been
weaved somewhere in China many
centuries ago but I doubt it goes back
to the time of Christ because it's written
in English" and also has a union label."
Pope Gregory XVI was so infuriated
that he fired a few salty explictatives,
then personally escorted Conrad to the
back door of the Vatican and warned
him never to come back again.
A Vatican researcher had rekindled
the controversy about the age of the
Shroud after detecting faint writing
on it.
Barbara Frale, who dabbles in Vatican
archives, states in her new book that
she had used computer-enhanced
images of the Shroud to detect faintly
written words in Greek and Latin as
well as Aramaic.
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