A disturbing realization

Dan Nelson

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Sep 22, 2002, 1:54:28 AM9/22/02

to

For *most* of us, the act of taking a crap is one of the more private
parts of everyday life. After the age of 3 or 4, most folks never
consult with other people on this act and how it is done. Speaking for
myself, I tend to actively ignore the auditory evidence of other
peoples' activities in this regard when necessary in a public facility
as well.

This is all as it most likely should be, and until now I never gave the
matter a second thought. But a disturbing thought occurred to me
tonight.

I'm afraid my crapping technique may be outdated.

What if other people have discovered a better way to wipe their ass, for
instance? There may be a technologically superior way to cleanse your
backside (those awful French
high-powered-drinking-fountains-for-your-ass notwithstanding). Maybe
there's a new funnel-shaped device that obviates the need for ex-lax
and/or kaopectate?! How would people know? Remember, nobody talks
about this stuff. The closest you get is those cryptic Preparation-H
commercials. Are there two or more classes of people, separated only by
their access to excretory technology? A scatalogical divide? Maybe
women have secrets about this, and have disguised it in mixed company by
the code word "feminine hygiene" to prevent men from enjoying the
resulting benefits?

I'd hate to find out I've been slogging along wiping my ass with a
wadded bunch of tissue paper when someone else has actually discovered
"how that three-seashells thing works".

I WANT THE THREE SEASHELLS TOO DAMMETTT!!!!!11!

I'm normally a pretty stable person, my posts to the flonk aside, but
this has me feeling insecure. I'd appreciate input from anyone who can
illuminate any new techniques for either the act itself or the
accompanying maintenance activities.

Thank you.

mhm27x20

Mad Hatter©

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Sep 22, 2002, 2:04:53 AM9/22/02

to

On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 02:04:48 -0400, Back Bay Rob <ocalhost@mackrel>
wrote:

>Today, Sun, 22 Sep 2002 00:54:28 -0500, a possible Agent of the Al-Qaeda
> Dan Nelson <dne...@black-hole.com> , stuck their head out of a

> bombed out cave and wrote:
>
>
>>For *most* of us, the act of taking a crap is one of the more private
>>parts of everyday life.
>
>

>Ca<WHACK>

That's it retard, keep worshiping me, don't EVER stop. `, )

--

-Mad Hatterฉ
"Will you, won't you? Will you, won't you? Won't you join the dance?"
mhm น x น

Insanity Now!
http://www.petitmorte.net/

Optional Identity

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Sep 22, 2002, 2:19:56 AM9/22/02

to

On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 00:54:28 -0500, the notorious netabuser Dan Nelson
<dne...@black-hole.com> attempted to break Usenet by posting this in
alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk :

As far as I understand it, as long as you are an over roller and can
prove it, the over roller CABAL led by that insidious Uncle Antny
fellow will be in touch with the NEW TECHNOLOGY FOR BUM WIPING. They
have their spies EVERYWHERE, so don't try and pretend to be an over
roller if you aren't one. The Over Rollers CABAL is THE most ANAL
organisation in the known UNIVERSE and they will KNOW if you are
lying.

HTH.

P.S. If you are dissatisfied with under rolled toilet paper, try those
baby wipe things, they get baby shit off babies really efficiently.
OTOH they are crap <heh> at getting cat shit out of the inside of
shoes, please don't ask me how I know this. TIA.

Tubby Chubbs

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Sep 22, 2002, 2:35:37 AM9/22/02

to

On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 16:19:56 +1000, Optional Identity
<troll4U...@meow.org> added to the entropy with:

The Over-Roll is the required orientation in order to execute the
Spin&Brake method of dispensing the tissue. One quick flick of the
wrist and -- *rizzzzzz* !

--

Tubby Chubbs, mhm i x i

sh0ck the m0nkey

Dandelion

unread,

Sep 22, 2002, 2:37:28 AM9/22/02

to

Some links for you:

http://www.poopreport.com

http://www.cottonelle.com/products/rollwipes.asp

HTH

HANP

Optional Identity

unread,

Sep 22, 2002, 4:38:49 AM9/22/02

to

On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 06:35:37 GMT, the notorious netabuser
smoke...@doublejoint.edu (Tubby Chubbs) attempted to break Usenet

This blatant over roller propaganda marks you as ONE OF THE CABAL, Dr.
Chubbs!!!

Smee

unread,

Sep 22, 2002, 5:20:11 AM9/22/02

to

"Dan Nelson" <dne...@black-hole.com> wrote in message
news:3D8D5B14...@black-hole.com...

> For *most* of us, the act of taking a crap is one of the more private
> parts of everyday life. After the age of 3 or 4, most folks never
> consult with other people on this act and how it is done. Speaking for
> myself, I tend to actively ignore the auditory evidence of other
> peoples' activities in this regard when necessary in a public facility
> as well.
>
> This is all as it most likely should be, and until now I never gave the
> matter a second thought. But a disturbing thought occurred to me
> tonight.
>
> I'm afraid my crapping technique may be outdated.
>
> What if other people have discovered a better way to wipe their ass, for
> instance? There may be a technologically superior way to cleanse your
> backside (those awful French
> high-powered-drinking-fountains-for-your-ass notwithstanding). Maybe
> there's a new funnel-shaped device that obviates the need for ex-lax
> and/or kaopectate?! How would people know? Remember, nobody talks
> about this stuff. The closest you get is those cryptic Preparation-H
> commercials. Are there two or more classes of people, separated only by
> their access to excretory technology? A scatalogical divide? Maybe
> women have secrets about this, and have disguised it in mixed company by
> the code word "feminine hygiene" to prevent men from enjoying the
> resulting benefits?
>

Yes, we do. And now that you've stumbled upon this seekrit, we hace to kill
you.

P.S. Over rollers rule!

Smee

headkase

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Sep 22, 2002, 5:25:34 AM9/22/02

to

Optional Identity <troll4U...@meow.org> wrote in
news:bsnqoukrab56lllut...@4ax.com:

nothing nothing in the known universe gets cat shit out of anything

headkase

Peter J Ross

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Sep 22, 2002, 5:37:10 AM9/22/02

to

On 22 Sep 2002 09:25:34 GMT, the heavy rollers of
alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk squeezed the following precious
droplets from headkase <psykoexg...@hotmail.com>:

Nonsense. You can get it out of cats quite easily.
--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8

headkase

unread,

Sep 22, 2002, 5:51:00 AM9/22/02

to

Peter J Ross <p...@britishlibrary.net> wrote in
news:ip3rouc1m9j225co5...@4ax.com:

ok
except cats

happy now

headkase

Peter J Ross

unread,

Sep 22, 2002, 5:59:18 AM9/22/02

to

On 22 Sep 2002 09:51:00 GMT, the heavy rollers of

Yes, but a pedant's work is never done.

> headkase

--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8

headkase

unread,

Sep 22, 2002, 6:10:51 AM9/22/02

to

Peter J Ross <p...@britishlibrary.net> wrote in

news:i15rou4kigqo1nllq...@4ax.com:

well do not relax
i am a postaholic
there will be more

Peter J Ross

unread,

Sep 22, 2002, 6:34:34 AM9/22/02

to

On 22 Sep 2002 10:10:51 GMT, the heavy rollers of

You think *you're* a postaholic? According to Google, I'm made 210
posts more than you (to all groups) in the past week.

headkase: http://makeashorterlink.com/?V69F32ED1 (127 posts)

PJR: http://makeashorterlink.com/?T28F42ED1 (337 posts)

Bow before the majesty of my gigantic net.addiction!
--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8

Text Medium

unread,

Sep 22, 2002, 7:56:00 AM9/22/02

to

Imagine him thinking any woman might tell him about these seekrits!!

> P.S. Over rollers rule!

In houses with cats, under rolling is almost a necessity!

> Smee
> > I'd hate to find out I've been slogging along wiping my ass with a
> > wadded bunch of tissue paper when someone else has actually discovered
> > "how that three-seashells thing works".
> >
> > I WANT THE THREE SEASHELLS TOO DAMMETTT!!!!!11!
> >
> > I'm normally a pretty stable person, my posts to the flonk aside, but
> > this has me feeling insecure. I'd appreciate input from anyone who can
> > illuminate any new techniques for either the act itself or the
> > accompanying maintenance activities.
> >
> > Thank you.
> >
> > mhm27x20

--
Shon'ai, mhmless

spo...@petitmorte.net

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Sep 22, 2002, 5:50:24 PM9/22/02

to

smoke...@doublejoint.edu (Tubby Chubbs) wrote in
news:3d8d637a...@news.alt.net:

Just like fly fish casting.

--
The power alone stored in my little hand
Could melt the Eiffel Tower
Turn the Sphinx into sand

http://www.petitmorte.net/fuckingpigs

Optional Identity

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Sep 22, 2002, 10:09:09 PM9/22/02

to

On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 11:34:34 +0100, the notorious netabuser Peter J
Ross <p...@britishlibrary.net> attempted to break Usenet by posting
this in alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk :

OI:
http://groups.google.com/groups?safe=images&ie=ISO-8859-1&as_uauthors=%22Optional%20Identity%22&lr=&as_drrb=b&as_mind=15&as_minm=9&as_miny=2002&as_maxd=22&as_maxm=9&as_maxy=2002&hl=en

(298) damn you are *BAD*

HatchetMama

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Sep 23, 2002, 12:00:05 AM9/23/02

to

On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 01:56:00 -1000, Text Medium <Sho...@hotmail.com>
wrote:

But we =would= happily kill him, as Smee points out.

>> P.S. Over rollers rule!
>
>In houses with cats, under rolling is almost a necessity!

No, no it's not.
Train teh cats, dammit.
Over rollers rule!

<snyip>

>--
>Shon'ai, mhmless

Are you waiting on your test result?

trippy

unread,

Sep 23, 2002, 12:47:08 AM9/23/02

to

This dude, "Dan Nelson" dne...@black-hole.com, in message
<3D8D5B14...@black-hole.com>, said the following tripped out
things....

I don't get the 3 shells thing either.

--
Trippy

tri...@XspamblockXthetrippy.com

http://www.thetrippy.com

"Charlton Heston announced he has Alzhiemers. An hour later, Charlton
Heston announced he has Alzhiemers." -- "The_Bede"

Doobie Doobie Doo

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 23, 2002, 1:03:05 AM9/23/02

to

I am still afeared to click on your links.

I showed OI why.

Ak.

Henry Stilmack - JAC System Admin

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Sep 23, 2002, 2:27:23 AM9/23/02

to

I know all of yours, sweetmeat.

>> P.S. Over rollers rule!
>
>In houses with cats, under rolling is almost a necessity!

I prefer the dogs.

>> Smee
>> > I'd hate to find out I've been slogging along wiping my ass with a
>> > wadded bunch of tissue paper when someone else has actually discovered
>> > "how that three-seashells thing works".
>> >
>> > I WANT THE THREE SEASHELLS TOO DAMMETTT!!!!!11!
>> >
>> > I'm normally a pretty stable person, my posts to the flonk aside, but
>> > this has me feeling insecure. I'd appreciate input from anyone who can
>> > illuminate any new techniques for either the act itself or the
>> > accompanying maintenance activities.
>> >
>> > Thank you.
>> >
>> > mhm27x20
>

_____________________________________________________________________________
Henry Stilmack )
Computing Systems Manager ) Perform random kindnesses
) and senseless acts of
beauty
h...@jach.Hawaii.Edi 808-969-6530 )
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Optional Identity

unread,

Sep 23, 2002, 3:12:36 AM9/23/02

to

On Mon, 23 Sep 2002 15:03:05 +1000, the notorious netabuser
HatchetMama <Hatch...@thiscomesoutimseeingatherapist.com> attempted

to break Usenet by posting this in alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk
:

>On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 06:37:28 GMT, Dandelion

They can't be *worse* than the one you showed me.

Text Medium

unread,

Sep 23, 2002, 3:38:40 AM9/23/02

to

Oh, yes. And Smee has her super dooper nuclear powered boomeranging
pointy stick at the ready at all times (she's constantly upgrading the
thing, too).

> >> P.S. Over rollers rule!
> >
> >In houses with cats, under rolling is almost a necessity!
>
> No, no it's not.
> Train teh cats, dammit.

Train cats? My cats? Mheh!

> Over rollers rule!

UNDER ROLLERS UNITE!!111!!

> <snyip>

Fine, be that way, then.

> >--
> >Shon'ai, mhmless
>
> Are you waiting on your test result?

No, I'm waiting on my procrastination to depart so I can get around to
taking the test some day.
--
Shon'ai

Henry Stilmack - JAC System Admin

unread,

Sep 23, 2002, 4:19:31 AM9/23/02

to

Make sure all the bugs are worked out first.

>> >> P.S. Over rollers rule!
>> >
>> >In houses with cats, under rolling is almost a necessity!
>>
>> No, no it's not.
>> Train teh cats, dammit.
>
>Train cats? My cats? Mheh!

BOOMFH!

>> Over rollers rule!
>
>UNDER ROLLERS UNITE!!111!!
>
>> <snyip>
>
>Fine, be that way, then.

Would you <snyip> me, pretty please?

>> >--
>> >Shon'ai, mhmless
>>
>> Are you waiting on your test result?
>
>No, I'm waiting on my procrastination to depart so I can get around to
>taking the test some day.

But you're still on the combo.

--

headkase

unread,

Sep 23, 2002, 8:25:50 AM9/23/02

to

Peter J Ross <p...@britishlibrary.net> wrote in

news:7g6rou0a0ddoap83f...@4ax.com:

laughs
oh yeah i am so impressed
can i be your girlfriend?

headkase

Dandelion

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Sep 23, 2002, 9:47:53 AM9/23/02

to

These are G rated.

I swear.

Dandelion

unread,

Sep 23, 2002, 9:48:21 AM9/23/02

to

I don't believe it *gets* worse than that one.

Peter J Ross

unread,

Sep 23, 2002, 2:06:32 PM9/23/02

to

On 23 Sep 2002 12:25:50 GMT, the heavy rollers of

So I should hope!

> can i be your girlfriend?

You're welcome to apply for the basic training course.
--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8

headkase

unread,

Sep 23, 2002, 5:34:56 PM9/23/02

to

Peter J Ross <p...@britishlibrary.net> wrote in

news:rtluou81l56umq2j0...@4ax.com:

do i get to bunk down with all the other potential applicants?

headkase

Peter J Ross

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Sep 23, 2002, 6:16:48 PM9/23/02

to

On 23 Sep 2002 21:34:56 GMT, the heavy rollers of

Of course.

That's part of the training.
--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8

Optional Identity

unread,

Sep 23, 2002, 7:26:27 PM9/23/02

to

On Mon, 23 Sep 2002 13:48:21 GMT, the notorious netabuser Dandelion
<dafu...@starspanglebannerd.net> attempted to break Usenet by posting
this in alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk :

Even my sicko imagination can't come up with worse than that.

headkase

unread,

Sep 23, 2002, 9:23:40 PM9/23/02

to

Peter J Ross <p...@britishlibrary.net> wrote in

news:tl4vou0hi51oit3i9...@4ax.com:

tossing up between
"sign me up"
and
"who are the other potential applicants"

hk

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 24, 2002, 5:55:12 AM9/24/02

to

On Mon, 23 Sep 2002 13:47:53 GMT, Dandelion
<dafu...@starspanglebannerd.net> wrote:

Oh, okay. I'll clickie then.

-HM
still scarred.

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 24, 2002, 7:11:22 AM9/24/02

to

On 24 Sep 2002 01:23:40 GMT, headkase <psykoexg...@hotmail.com>
wrote:

Funny that, I was wondering the same thing.

Yeah, who?

Peter J Ross

unread,

Sep 24, 2002, 9:04:02 AM9/24/02

to

On Tue, 24 Sep 2002 21:11:22 +1000, the heavy rollers of

alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk squeezed the following precious

droplets from HatchetMama
<Hatch...@thiscomesoutimseeingatherapist.com>:

I'm working on the lits, but it could take a long time.

And printing all teh forms isn't going to be cheap.
--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8

headkase

unread,

Sep 24, 2002, 4:26:09 PM9/24/02

to

Peter J Ross <p...@britishlibrary.net> wrote in

news:lpl0pu05pt0g7ns2o...@4ax.com:

well i is not known for my patiance, wanders away

Domino

unread,

Sep 24, 2002, 7:51:37 PM9/24/02

to

Pleace add me two your lits.

>And printing all teh forms isn't going to be cheap.

Pleace don't add me to that lits.

Peter J Ross

unread,

Sep 25, 2002, 6:47:46 AM9/25/02

to

On Tue, 24 Sep 2002 16:51:37 -0700, the heavy rollers of
alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk squeezed the following precious droplets from Domino
<Dom...@netherreach.net>:

That will make it take an even longer time.

> >And printing all teh forms isn't going to be cheap.
>
> Pleace don't add me to that lits.

Don't worry, I'll probably use PayPal.
--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 25, 2002, 6:51:08 PM9/25/02

to

On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 21:38:40 -1000, Text Medium <Sho...@hotmail.com>
wrote:

I like Smee's pointy stick. It's cool, and effective at stopping teh
evuls of teh maths.

>> >> P.S. Over rollers rule!
>> >
>> >In houses with cats, under rolling is almost a necessity!
>>
>> No, no it's not.
>> Train teh cats, dammit.
>
>Train cats? My cats? Mheh!
>

Mine were so well trained that they let themselves in the bathroom,
and beat each other up for playing with the toilet paper, and then
told on each other.

>> Over rollers rule!
>
>UNDER ROLLERS UNITE!!111!!

I'm telling Unky.

>> <snyip>
>
>Fine, be that way, then.

I will, and did!
<sticks out tongue>

>> >--
>> >Shon'ai, mhmless
>>
>> Are you waiting on your test result?
>
>No, I'm waiting on my procrastination to depart so I can get around to
>taking the test some day.

It's a fun test, really. With lots of questions, and I didn't get test
nerves for it or anything.
But, since you haven't taken it yet, that means that =my= number will
be =lower= than yours!!!!!1! YAY! (Unless there really is a
conspiracy.)

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 25, 2002, 6:52:52 PM9/25/02

to

On Wed, 25 Sep 2002 11:47:46 +0100, Peter J Ross
<p...@britishlibrary.net> wrote:

Well, you won't be keeping people on the lits =that= way.
We =do= get bored easily...

Peter J Ross

unread,

Sep 25, 2002, 8:37:21 PM9/25/02

to

On Thu, 26 Sep 2002 08:52:52 +1000, the heavy rollers of

It's the ones who lose interest quickly that I want to eliminate from
teh lits ;-)

> >> >And printing all teh forms isn't going to be cheap.
> >>
> >> Pleace don't add me to that lits.
> >
> >Don't worry, I'll probably use PayPal.
>

--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 25, 2002, 10:04:34 PM9/25/02

to

On Thu, 26 Sep 2002 01:37:21 +0100, Peter J Ross
<p...@britishlibrary.net> wrote:

Around here, I would think that many would either get lost in each
other, or wander off.
How many have you lost so far?

Uncle Antny

unread,

Sep 25, 2002, 10:11:22 PM9/25/02

to

It seems that on 25 Sep 2002, the number one hit in Croatia was
"news:90f4pusssomsit658...@4ax.com" (by HatchetMama).
It was a catchy little ditty that went like this:

There is a new something that just came out this year or so (at least
in this context). It's "flushable fresh wipes". Most of the TP
manufacturers have their own, now. It's really just baby wipes.

>>> >> Yes, we do. And now that you've stumbled upon this seekrit,
>>> >> we hace to kill you.
>>> >
>>> >Imagine him thinking any woman might tell him about these
>>> >seekrits!!
>>> >
>>>
>>> But we =would= happily kill him, as Smee points out.
>>
>>Oh, yes. And Smee has her super dooper nuclear powered
>>boomeranging pointy stick at the ready at all times (she's
>>constantly upgrading the thing, too).
>>
>
> I like Smee's pointy stick. It's cool, and effective at stopping
> teh evuls of teh maths.
>
>>> >> P.S. Over rollers rule!

Yay!

>>> >In houses with cats, under rolling is almost a necessity!

Boo!

>>> No, no it's not.
>>> Train teh cats, dammit.

Yay!

>>Train cats? My cats? Mheh!

Boo!

> Mine were so well trained that they let themselves in the
> bathroom, and beat each other up for playing with the toilet
> paper, and then told on each other.

Yay!

>>> Over rollers rule!

Yay!

>>UNDER ROLLERS UNITE!!111!!

Boo!

> I'm telling Unky.

Yay!

--
Uncle Antny (mhm 11x10)
an...@meow.org

The Orgasm of Meow

Peter J Ross

unread,

Sep 25, 2002, 10:40:39 PM9/25/02

to

On Thu, 26 Sep 2002 12:04:34 +1000, the heavy rollers of

I hace kept more than I hace lost. Teh Darwinian r00lz apply.

Anyway, teh lits of potential girlfriends is now compleeeted.

It's just possible that I might post a list of teh top ten
front-runners soon. WATCH FOR IT LIKE AN OBSESSO!!!

--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8

Domino

unread,

Sep 25, 2002, 11:16:36 PM9/25/02

to

Take as long as you need -- just GET ME ON YUOR LITS!

>> >And printing all teh forms isn't going to be cheap.
>>
>> Pleace don't add me to that lits.
>
>Don't worry, I'll probably use PayPal.

Whose email addy?

Domino

unread,

Sep 25, 2002, 11:17:43 PM9/25/02

to

Are you saying that people have short atten... erm... short...
somethings?

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 12:51:08 AM9/26/02

to

These leave my bum wet.
It's a most undesirable feeling.

>>>> >> Yes, we do. And now that you've stumbled upon this seekrit,
>>>> >> we hace to kill you.
>>>> >
>>>> >Imagine him thinking any woman might tell him about these
>>>> >seekrits!!
>>>> >
>>>>
>>>> But we =would= happily kill him, as Smee points out.
>>>
>>>Oh, yes. And Smee has her super dooper nuclear powered
>>>boomeranging pointy stick at the ready at all times (she's
>>>constantly upgrading the thing, too).
>>>
>>
>> I like Smee's pointy stick. It's cool, and effective at stopping
>> teh evuls of teh maths.
>>
>>>> >> P.S. Over rollers rule!
>
>Yay!

Yay!

Hee!

>>>> >In houses with cats, under rolling is almost a necessity!
>
>Boo!
Boo!

>>>> No, no it's not.
>>>> Train teh cats, dammit.
>
>Yay!
Yay!
>>>Train cats? My cats? Mheh!
>
>Boo!
Boo!
>> Mine were so well trained that they let themselves in the
>> bathroom, and beat each other up for playing with the toilet
>> paper, and then told on each other.
>
>Yay!
Yay!
>>>> Over rollers rule!
>
>Yay!
Yay!
>>>UNDER ROLLERS UNITE!!111!!
>
>Boo!
Boo!
>> I'm telling Unky.
>
>Yay!

Yay!

UNKY!!!! She was taunting mee with her horrrrrrrible under-rolling
techniques! AAAAAAND, and and and SHE was like like being baaaaaad!!!
Ummm... make her be good!!!!!!1!

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 12:52:44 AM9/26/02

to

On Wed, 25 Sep 2002 20:17:43 -0700, Domino <Dom...@netherreach.net>
wrote:

Erm, yeah. wot?

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 12:53:39 AM9/26/02

to

On Wed, 25 Sep 2002 20:16:36 -0700, Domino <Dom...@netherreach.net>
wrote:

Does this mean that you're of the feminine persuasion or no?

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 12:57:28 AM9/26/02

to

On Thu, 26 Sep 2002 03:40:39 +0100, Peter J Ross
<p...@britishlibrary.net> wrote:

Ah, well that makes sense then.

>
>Anyway, teh lits of potential girlfriends is now compleeeted.

It's about fooking time, man!!!

>
>It's just possible that I might post a list of teh top ten
>front-runners soon. WATCH FOR IT LIKE AN OBSESSO!!!
>

This isn't a problem.

Peter J Ross

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 12:59:45 AM9/26/02

to

On Wed, 25 Sep 2002 20:16:36 -0700, the heavy rollers of

DOES NOT COMPUTE! - you failed to specify gender.

>>> >And printing all teh forms isn't going to be cheap.
>>>
>>> Pleace don't add me to that lits.
>>
>>Don't worry, I'll probably use PayPal.
>
>Whose email addy?

Yours of course.
--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8
marg gold star

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 2:13:07 AM9/26/02

to

On Thu, 26 Sep 2002 05:59:45 +0100, Peter J Ross
<p...@britishlibrary.net> wrote:

When was it that you realised this?

Domino

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 3:12:41 AM9/26/02

to

That's what I thought you said. Carry on.

Domino

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 3:12:47 AM9/26/02

to

Is that a prerequisite to be on his lits?

Domino

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 3:12:50 AM9/26/02

to

I did, didn't I?

>>>> >And printing all teh forms isn't going to be cheap.
>>>>
>>>> Pleace don't add me to that lits.
>>>
>>>Don't worry, I'll probably use PayPal.
>>
>>Whose email addy?
>
>Yours of course.

Do feel free.

Smee

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 5:10:47 AM9/26/02

to

"HatchetMama" > >>>> >> Yes, we do. And now that you've stumbled upon this

She hit me back first!!!!!!2!

Smee

Uncle Antny

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 11:29:03 AM9/26/02

to

It seems that on 26 Sep 2002, the number one hit in Croatia was
"news:amuil9$h3j$1...@slb6.atl.mindspring.net" (by Smee). It was a catchy

little ditty that went like this:

>

You two be nice to each other, or I'll stop the car and turn around
RIGHT NOW.

And you'll spend your night in your rooms with NO PIT PRIVELEGES.

Smee

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 4:11:27 PM9/26/02

to

"Uncle Antny" <an...@meow.org> wrote in message
news:Xns9295563D7D4...@63.240.76.16...

oh alright. but she started it.

*kicks the door*

Smee

Uncle Antny

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 6:41:10 PM9/26/02

to

It seems that on 26 Sep 2002, the number one hit in Croatia was

"news:amvpbv$3sq$1...@slb0.atl.mindspring.net" (by Smee). It was a

> oh alright. but she started it.
>
> *kicks the door*

And quit kicking the door. Do you want to fall out at 67 miles per
hour?

Smee

unread,

Sep 26, 2002, 7:34:48 PM9/26/02

to

"Uncle Antny" <an...@meow.org> wrote in message

news:Xns92959F80694...@216.148.227.77...

*waits till UA isn't looking and sticks out tongue*

Nyaaaah!

Smee

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 2:32:37 AM9/27/02

to

On Thu, 26 Sep 2002 02:10:47 -0700, "Smee" <psci...@ix.netcom.com>
wrote:

DID NOT!!!!!!

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 2:32:39 AM9/27/02

to

BUT BUT BUT BUT UNNNNNNNKYYYYYY!!!!!

>And you'll spend your night in your rooms with NO PIT PRIVELEGES.

See what you did?

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 2:33:02 AM9/27/02

to

On Thu, 26 Sep 2002 13:11:27 -0700, "Smee" <psci...@ix.netcom.com>
wrote:

Did not.
You did.

>
>*kicks the door*
>
>Smee

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 2:34:54 AM9/27/02

to

On Thu, 26 Sep 2002 16:34:48 -0700, "Smee" <psci...@ix.netcom.com>
wrote:

UNKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHE STUCK OUT HER TONGUE AT MEEEEE!!!

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 2:36:40 AM9/27/02

to

On Thu, 26 Sep 2002 00:12:47 -0700, Domino <Dom...@netherreach.net>
wrote:

It would be since it =is= a =girlfriend= lits.
Makes sense, no?

Uncle Antny

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 2:50:09 AM9/27/02

to

It seems that on 26 Sep 2002, the number one hit in Croatia was

"news:euu7pug73ue7f73i8...@4ax.com" (by HatchetMama).

Smee, your face will freeze like that one of these days.

Smee

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 2:59:09 AM9/27/02

to

"HatchetMama" <Hatch...@thiscomesoutimseeingatherapist.com> wrote in
message news:uou7pu0th7e2jt11t...@4ax.com...

*stage whispers*

It's YOUR fault!!

Smee

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 3:01:04 AM9/27/02

to

"HatchetMama" <Hatch...@thiscomesoutimseeingatherapist.com> wrote in
message news:hnu7pusc8ro6j0vkm...@4ax.com...

DID TOO!!!!!

Just LOOK what she did to me!!

Smee

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 3:11:07 AM9/27/02

to

"HatchetMama" <Hatch...@thiscomesoutimseeingatherapist.com> wrote in
message news:qru7puo4upfsug4qg...@4ax.com...

> >> >>
> >> >> UNKY!!!! She was taunting mee with her horrrrrrrible under-rolling
> >> >> techniques! AAAAAAND, and and and SHE was like like being
> >> baaaaaad!!!
> >> >> Ummm... make her be good!!!!!!1!
> >> >>
> >> > She hit me back first!!!!!!2!
> >>
> >> You two be nice to each other, or I'll stop the car and turn around
> >> RIGHT NOW.
> >>
> >> And you'll spend your night in your rooms with NO PIT PRIVELEGES.
> >>
> >> --
> >> Uncle Antny (mhm 11x10)
> >> an...@meow.org
> >>
> >> The Orgasm of Meow
> >
> >oh alright. but she started it.
>
> Did not.
> You did.
>

Uh uh, it was you.

> >
> >*kicks the door*
> >
> >Smee
>
> <looks at you>
>
>

Unca Antny, she's looooooking at meeeee!!

Smee

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 6:17:37 AM9/27/02

to

On Fri, 27 Sep 2002 00:01:04 -0700, "Smee" <psci...@ix.netcom.com>
wrote:

>
>Just LOOK what she did to me!!
>
><fake tears>
>
>Smee
>

I DIDN"T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 6:17:47 AM9/27/02

to

Yeah! What he said!

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 6:17:50 AM9/27/02

to

On Fri, 27 Sep 2002 00:11:07 -0700, "Smee" <psci...@ix.netcom.com>
wrote:

>
>"HatchetMama" <Hatch...@thiscomesoutimseeingatherapist.com> wrote in
>message news:qru7puo4upfsug4qg...@4ax.com...
>> >> >>
>> >> >> UNKY!!!! She was taunting mee with her horrrrrrrible under-rolling
>> >> >> techniques! AAAAAAND, and and and SHE was like like being
>> >> baaaaaad!!!
>> >> >> Ummm... make her be good!!!!!!1!
>> >> >>
>> >> > She hit me back first!!!!!!2!
>> >>
>> >> You two be nice to each other, or I'll stop the car and turn around
>> >> RIGHT NOW.
>> >>
>> >> And you'll spend your night in your rooms with NO PIT PRIVELEGES.
>> >>
>> >> --
>> >> Uncle Antny (mhm 11x10)
>> >> an...@meow.org
>> >>
>> >> The Orgasm of Meow
>> >
>> >oh alright. but she started it.
>>
>> Did not.
>> You did.
>>
>Uh uh, it was you.

Nuh uh! It was youuuuuuu!

>> >
>> >*kicks the door*
>> >
>> >Smee
>>
>> <looks at you>
>>
>>
>Unca Antny, she's looooooking at meeeee!!
>
>Smee

Tattletale!

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 6:17:52 AM9/27/02

to

On Thu, 26 Sep 2002 23:59:09 -0700, "Smee" <psci...@ix.netcom.com>
wrote:

It's NOT my fault, it's YOUR fault! ALL your fault!

<cries>

Uncle Antny

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 1:05:32 PM9/27/02

to

It seems that on 27 Sep 2002, the number one hit in Croatia was
"news:a2c8pusaabf2te136...@4ax.com" (by HatchetMama). It

And you pipe down...we don't need any support from the peanut gallery.

Uncle Antny

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 1:10:14 PM9/27/02

to

It seems that on 27 Sep 2002, the number one hit in Croatia was
"news:d2c8puc8cqb4ksg9o...@4ax.com" (by HatchetMama).

It was a catchy little ditty that went like this:

> On Fri, 27 Sep 2002 00:11:07 -0700, "Smee"

ALRIGHT! THAT'S ENOUGH.

* Did you know there are starving kids in Africa?

* When I was a kid, I had to walk FIVE MILES (in the snow [uphill {both
ways}]) to get to school.

* In my day, we didn't have all these cool toys, we had to make do
with a rock and a refrigerator box.

* I just want you to have the chances I never had.

* It builds character.

And that's about the extent of my parenting skills. Now spank each
other and be done with it. --

Lorrill Buyens

unread,

Sep 27, 2002, 7:31:37 PM9/27/02

to

Right before Uncle Antny <an...@meow.org> was eaten by cannibals on Thu,
26 Sep 2002 22:41:10 GMT, they issued this poignant cry for help:

Mheh. My mother actually did fall outa a car once when she was little,
but it was 'cause she was leaning on the door, not kicking it.

--
Lorrill Buyens
MHM: 9x1; Smeeter: #28; WSD: #3
Alcatroll Labs; Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll Division
"What's the point of being grown-up if you can't be childish
sometimes?" - Doctor Who

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 28, 2002, 12:29:49 AM9/28/02

to

...Yes Unky.

<sniff>

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 28, 2002, 12:31:17 AM9/28/02

to

Aww Unky!!! She won't give me a hug!

<eyes light up>
Can we really spank each other?

Smee

unread,

Sep 28, 2002, 4:09:16 AM9/28/02

to

"HatchetMama" <Hatch...@thiscomesoutimseeingatherapist.com> wrote in
message news:rsb8pug40v0vjtg9b...@4ax.com...

And THAT little skit, ladies and gentlemen, is EXACTLY what it's like to
take a road trip with the kiddies in the back seat!!

Take a bow, HM, you've been there and done that!

Sheesh, we hadn't even got to the part where we start throwing things out
the back windows!

Smee
>
>

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 28, 2002, 6:13:06 PM9/28/02

to

On Sat, 28 Sep 2002 01:09:16 -0700, "Smee" <psci...@ix.netcom.com>
wrote:

To think it comes back so easily.

I believe I like doing it this way better, it's not stressful and
there are no hospital bills when somebody pushes their sibling out of
the car door.

Domino

unread,

Sep 28, 2002, 6:09:04 PM9/28/02

to

I suppose that explains the lone tennis shoe you see now and then on
the freeway.

>Smee
>>
>>
>

Domino

unread,

Sep 28, 2002, 6:09:06 PM9/28/02

to

Yeah, but how fast could it have been going when your _mom_ was
little?

Lorrill Buyens

unread,

Sep 28, 2002, 8:01:59 PM9/28/02

to

Right before HatchetMama
<Hatch...@thiscomesoutimseeingatherapist.com> was eaten by cannibals
on Fri, 27 Sep 2002 20:17:52 +1000, they issued this poignant cry for
help:

>On Thu, 26 Sep 2002 23:59:09 -0700, "Smee" <psci...@ix.netcom.com>

>It's NOT my fault, it's YOUR fault! ALL your fault!
>
><cries>

*hums a few bars of "Your Fault," from Sondheim & Lapine's _Into the
Woods_*

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 29, 2002, 12:42:36 AM9/29/02

to

<sings>
I'd have kept those beans, but our house was cursed.
She made us get a cow to get the curse reversed!

Mmmm...
Ohhh...
Look at that flesh, pink and plump.
Hello, little girl...
Tender and fresh, not one lump.
Hello, little girl...

I love that play

Optional Identity

unread,

Sep 29, 2002, 4:01:45 AM9/29/02

to

On Sat, 28 Sep 2002 14:29:49 +1000, the notorious netabuser
HatchetMama <Hatch...@thiscomesoutimseeingatherapist.com> attempted

to break Usenet by posting this in alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk
:

>On Fri, 27 Sep 2002 17:05:32 GMT, Uncle Antny <an...@meow.org> wrote:

<points>
<sings>
"You got in trouble, you got in trouble!"

Text Medium

unread,

Sep 29, 2002, 7:48:13 AM9/29/02

to

HatchetMama wrote:
>
> On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 21:38:40 -1000, Text Medium <Sho...@hotmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> >HatchetMama wrote:
> >>
> >> On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 01:56:00 -1000, Text Medium <Sho...@hotmail.com>
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >> >Smee wrote:
> >> >>
> >> >> "Dan Nelson" <dne...@black-hole.com> wrote in message
> >> >> news:3D8D5B14...@black-hole.com...

> >> >> > For *most* of us, the act of taking a crap is one of the more private
> >> >> > parts of everyday life. After the age of 3 or 4, most folks never
> >> >> > consult with other people on this act and how it is done. Speaking for
> >> >> > myself, I tend to actively ignore the auditory evidence of other
> >> >> > peoples' activities in this regard when necessary in a public facility
> >> >> > as well.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > This is all as it most likely should be, and until now I never gave the
> >> >> > matter a second thought. But a disturbing thought occurred to me
> >> >> > tonight.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > I'm afraid my crapping technique may be outdated.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > What if other people have discovered a better way to wipe their ass, for
> >> >> > instance? There may be a technologically superior way to cleanse your
> >> >> > backside (those awful French
> >> >> > high-powered-drinking-fountains-for-your-ass notwithstanding). Maybe
> >> >> > there's a new funnel-shaped device that obviates the need for ex-lax
> >> >> > and/or kaopectate?! How would people know? Remember, nobody talks
> >> >> > about this stuff. The closest you get is those cryptic Preparation-H
> >> >> > commercials. Are there two or more classes of people, separated only by
> >> >> > their access to excretory technology? A scatalogical divide? Maybe
> >> >> > women have secrets about this, and have disguised it in mixed company by
> >> >> > the code word "feminine hygiene" to prevent men from enjoying the
> >> >> > resulting benefits?
> >> >> >

> >> >> Yes, we do. And now that you've stumbled upon this seekrit, we hace to kill
> >> >> you.
> >> >
> >> >Imagine him thinking any woman might tell him about these seekrits!!
> >> >
> >>
> >> But we =would= happily kill him, as Smee points out.
> >
> >Oh, yes. And Smee has her super dooper nuclear powered boomeranging
> >pointy stick at the ready at all times (she's constantly upgrading the
> >thing, too).
> >
>
> I like Smee's pointy stick. It's cool, and effective at stopping teh
> evuls of teh maths.

Teh maths are an evul thing, and deserving of Smee's point stick.

> >> >> P.S. Over rollers rule!

> >> >
> >> >In houses with cats, under rolling is almost a necessity!
> >>

> >> No, no it's not.
> >> Train teh cats, dammit.
> >

> >Train cats? My cats? Mheh!
> >
>

> Mine were so well trained that they let themselves in the bathroom,
> and beat each other up for playing with the toilet paper, and then
> told on each other.

<*respect*>

Those are some extremely trained cats!

Tigers? Or lions?

> >> Over rollers rule!
> >
> >UNDER ROLLERS UNITE!!111!!
>
> I'm telling Unky.

Tattle tale.

> >> <snyip>
> >
> >Fine, be that way, then.
>
> I will, and did!
> <sticks out tongue>

I saw how you and Smee behaved on that last car trip, and I want nothing
to do with your squabbling.

I'll just sit in the front seat with "Unky".

Neener.

> >> >--
> >> >Shon'ai, mhmless
> >>
> >> Are you waiting on your test result?
> >
> >No, I'm waiting on my procrastination to depart so I can get around to
> >taking the test some day.
>
> It's a fun test, really. With lots of questions, and I didn't get test
> nerves for it or anything.
> But, since you haven't taken it yet, that means that =my= number will
> be =lower= than yours!!!!!1! YAY! (Unless there really is a
> conspiracy.)

So, you'll have a lower number than mine.

That's okay, I don't mind.

Spoils your fun, doesn't it? `;)
--
Shon'ai

Smee

unread,

Sep 29, 2002, 9:17:40 PM9/29/02

to

"HatchetMama" <Hatch...@thiscomesoutimseeingatherapist.com> wrote in
message news:v3acpu4e5f2tavdtb...@4ax.com...

Our squabbles usually ended with a backhand swipe from the front seat. Mom
was a little woman, but she had a loooooong reach!

Smee

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 29, 2002, 9:22:59 PM9/29/02

to

On Sun, 29 Sep 2002 01:48:13 -1000, Text Medium <Sho...@meow.org>
wrote:

Agreed. Evul evul maths.
Bad math. Need spanking.
And teh pointy stick.

>> >> >> P.S. Over rollers rule!
>> >> >
>> >> >In houses with cats, under rolling is almost a necessity!
>> >>
>> >> No, no it's not.
>> >> Train teh cats, dammit.
>> >
>> >Train cats? My cats? Mheh!
>> >
>>
>> Mine were so well trained that they let themselves in the bathroom,
>> and beat each other up for playing with the toilet paper, and then
>> told on each other.
>
><*respect*>
>
>Those are some extremely trained cats!
>
>Tigers? Or lions?

Almost. One of them is a Maine Coon cat (19 lbs), the other two are
just tabbys, but they're cool cats, and smart. Pfuffy, the Maine Coon
cat, trained the other two. My daughter has them now.

>> >> Over rollers rule!
>> >
>> >UNDER ROLLERS UNITE!!111!!
>>
>> I'm telling Unky.
>
>Tattle tale.

Uhyup.

>> >> <snyip>
>> >
>> >Fine, be that way, then.
>>
>> I will, and did!
>> <sticks out tongue>
>
>I saw how you and Smee behaved on that last car trip, and I want nothing
>to do with your squabbling.
>
>I'll just sit in the front seat with "Unky".

If he lets you.
I'll ask him to put you in teh back with us, so we can play nice.

>Neener.

Neener neener.

>> >> >--
>> >> >Shon'ai, mhmless
>> >>
>> >> Are you waiting on your test result?
>> >
>> >No, I'm waiting on my procrastination to depart so I can get around to
>> >taking the test some day.
>>
>> It's a fun test, really. With lots of questions, and I didn't get test
>> nerves for it or anything.
>> But, since you haven't taken it yet, that means that =my= number will
>> be =lower= than yours!!!!!1! YAY! (Unless there really is a
>> conspiracy.)
>
>So, you'll have a lower number than mine.
>
>That's okay, I don't mind.
>
>Spoils your fun, doesn't it? `;)

Nah, not really. I know you rushed out and took teh test and are
secretly hoping that we get batched at the same time, and the same
thing happens with JRT and PJR, and you really do mind.

Neener.

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 29, 2002, 9:24:00 PM9/29/02

to

Peter J Ross

unread,

Sep 29, 2002, 9:26:03 PM9/29/02

to

On Mon, 30 Sep 2002 11:22:59 +1000, the heavy rollers of

alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk squeezed the following precious
droplets from HatchetMama
<Hatch...@thiscomesoutimseeingatherapist.com>:

>On Sun, 29 Sep 2002 01:48:13 -1000, Text Medium <Sho...@meow.org>

JRT doesn't mind having an inferior mhm to mine, I'm sure.

Tehee.

>Neener.

Yah boo sucks with brass knobs on and no returns!
--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8
marg gold star
http://www.pjr-online.co.uk/

Optional Identity

unread,

Sep 30, 2002, 2:24:07 AM9/30/02

to

On Mon, 30 Sep 2002 11:24:00 +1000, the notorious netabuser

Optional Identity

unread,

Sep 30, 2002, 2:26:19 AM9/30/02

to

On Mon, 30 Sep 2002 02:26:03 +0100, the notorious netabuser Peter J
Ross <p...@britishlibrary.net> attempted to break Usenet by posting
this in alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk :

>On Mon, 30 Sep 2002 11:22:59 +1000, the heavy rollers of

I KNOW it was the cheese fries you sent Jelliebun.

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 30, 2002, 6:00:12 AM9/30/02

to

On Mon, 30 Sep 2002 16:24:07 +1000, Optional Identity
<troll4U...@meow.org> wrote:

HEY!!
<grabs other hand>
<sits on it>

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 30, 2002, 6:02:03 AM9/30/02

to

On Sun, 29 Sep 2002 18:17:40 -0700, "Smee" <psci...@ix.netcom.com>
wrote:

I think I'd rather get pushed out the door than get swiped by my mom.

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 30, 2002, 6:02:59 AM9/30/02

to

Shhhh...

HatchetMama

unread,

Sep 30, 2002, 6:08:11 AM9/30/02

to

Yeah, I'm certain of it.
That's why you're gonna get your arse kicked after school, hey?

>>Neener.
>
>Yah boo sucks with brass knobs on and no returns!

No returns? Can you do that?

Optional Identity

unread,

Sep 30, 2002, 7:10:53 PM9/30/02

to

On Mon, 30 Sep 2002 20:00:12 +1000, the notorious netabuser

Peter J Ross

unread,

Oct 1, 2002, 4:57:16 AM10/1/02

to

On Mon, 30 Sep 2002 16:26:19 +1000, the heavy rollers of

alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk squeezed the following precious

droplets from Optional Identity <troll4U...@meow.org>:

Otter!

><hint for any others who might *really* want a lower mhm>

They have to be really good cheese fries. The first three consignments
were returned-to-sender.

Peter J Ross

unread,

Oct 1, 2002, 4:57:18 AM10/1/02

to

On Mon, 30 Sep 2002 20:08:11 +1000, the heavy rollers of

So am I.

>That's why you're gonna get your arse kicked after school, hey?

No, that's a private arrangement for mutual pleasure.

>>>Neener.
>>
>>Yah boo sucks with brass knobs on and no returns!
>
>No returns? Can you do that?

Yes, I believe I just did it.

HatchetMama

unread,

Oct 1, 2002, 5:57:04 AM10/1/02

to

On Tue, 01 Oct 2002 09:57:18 +0100, Peter J Ross
<p...@britishlibrary.net> wrote:

As well you should be.

>>That's why you're gonna get your arse kicked after school, hey?
>
>No, that's a private arrangement for mutual pleasure.

You know, it figures.
Slut.

>>>>Neener.
>>>
>>>Yah boo sucks with brass knobs on and no returns!
>>
>>No returns? Can you do that?
>
>Yes, I believe I just did it.

JungleAcid

unread,

Oct 1, 2002, 8:24:44 AM10/1/02

to

On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 00:54:28 -0500, Dan Nelson
<dne...@black-hole.com> wrote:

>For *most* of us, the act of taking a crap is one of the more private
>parts of everyday life. After the age of 3 or 4, most folks never
>consult with other people on this act and how it is done. Speaking for
>myself, I tend to actively ignore the auditory evidence of other
>peoples' activities in this regard when necessary in a public facility
>as well.

there's some french post modern film depicting people sitting about a
long table and their seats are toilets and they're all engaged in
conversation (among other things) and one at a time they excuse
theirselves to a closet where they gorge on food furiously before
returning.

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JA15x6,2