The Blind and the Pitiful

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# Previously on THE BLIND AND THE PITIFUL:
#
# STEVE OPIE, an ambitious if incompetent middle-aged designer at
# FLONKER CREATIONS, meets and falls in love with KATE ANONYME, a
# deranged middle-aged harpy. Pulling some strings (and his pud),
# Steve manages to secure a job for Kate at Flonker Creations as an XL
# fashion model.
#
# Kate quickly has a falling out with her co-workers. Steve first
# sides with his lover, but the constant fighting puts a strain on
# their relationship. Finally Steve gathers enough courage to tell
# Kate he is leaving her. Despite their best efforts to put on a brave
# face after the split, a lot of pent-up acrimony remains between the
# two.
#
# Non-plussed, as usual, Kate turns to other men, as usual. After a
# brief fling with JOE BOOTSIE, the brash middle-aged head designer
# at STONE FASHIONS, Kate seeks solace in the arms of DR. ALLEN
# GILBERT, the Flonkers' and the Stones' family doctor. Allen is even
# willing to severe his ties with the two families to be with Kate.
#
# As we rejoin the action, Kate confronts Steve in his office at the
# Flonker Creations' headquarters about his recent behavior.
# Meanwhile, over at Allen's hideout, Joe tries to talk some sense
# into the doctor.


[INT. OPIE'S OFFICE AT THE FLONKER CREATIONS HQ - NIGHT]

A middle-aged unkempt man sits in a harshly lit, tiny room. He is
crouched over a keyboard, typing furiously. A droopy middle-aged woman
shows up at the door. Her facial features are covered under whore
makeup and her hair is carefully arranged into a beehive. The man
turns on his office chair and looks at her with bloodshot eyes.

STEVE OPIE [with a heavy Australian accent]: Kate, you are
here.

KATE ANONYME [with a nasal screech]: Yes, Steve. [pause] I am
here.

The pair stare at each other.

The pair still stare at each other.

STEVE: Kate, why did you come here?

KATE: Steve, we need to talk.

The former lovers stare at each other some more.


[EXT. A LOG CABIN IN THE BACKWOODS OF OREGON - NIGHT]

A beat-down Chevrolet pulls into a patch of open land in front of a
small log cabin. The driver, a middle-aged man with a protruding jaw
and a receding hairline, turns off the engine.

JOE BOOTSIE [to himself]: Oh, how did I get myself into this?
It seemed such an innocuous, beautiful thing at first.

Joe looks to the distance, upper right-hand corner.

He has a flashback of him and Kate frolicking in an abandoned parking
lot surrounded by silhouettes of urban housing. Joe catches up to Kate
and they cuddle. It all takes a turn for the worse, though, when Joe
tries to nibble Kate's earlobe. Shocked by this desire to experiment,
Kate asks Joe whether he's some kind of a sexual pervert. The couple
start to argue.

The vivid memory goes away.

JOE: How did it come to this? [pause] I just hope Allen is
willing to listen to me.

He steps out of the car, walks up to the cabin door and almost knocks.
Getting a better idea, he tries the handle. The door opens, and he
steps in.


[INT. OPIE'S OFFICE AT THE FLONKER CREATIONS HQ - NIGHT]

Steve and Kate are still staring at each other.

STEVE: What do you want to say to me, Kate?

KATE: Steve, there's something I need to know. [pause] I want
to know whether you've been talking about us to outsiders... [pause] I
want to know whether you've been talking about our relationship to the
Flonkers.

Kate gives Steve a glowering look. Steve in turn fixes his eyes on the
wall behind Kate, trying to gather what pass for his thoughts.


[INT. A LOG CABIN IN THE BACKWOODS OF OREGON - NIGHT]

Despite the rugged exterior, the cabin surprisingly has running water
and electricity. A portly middle-aged man stands in a kitchen in front
of a sink, his back turned to the door. While the man washes dishes,
he is humming "H.M.S. Pinafore". Hearing footsteps, he stops humming
but doesn't look behind him.

DR. ALLEN GILBERT: Is that you, Kate? I didn't get the Red
Wings-Flames game on tape, but I did take out the trash, and vacuum,
and these dishes are done in a minute...

JOE: No, Allen. [pause] This is not Kate.

Allen dries his hands, taking his time, and then turns to face Joe.


[INT. OPIE'S OFFICE AT THE FLONKER CREATIONS HQ - NIGHT]

Steve has gotten up from his chair.

STEVE: I might have mentioned something about you being
back-stabbing, conniving fruit loop. However, I didn't say anything
that wasn't already general knowledge.

KATE: How could you, Steve? How could you do that to me, after
all we've been through?

STEVE: Kate, all we've been through is what made me do it. And
don't play innocent with me. You've been telling everyone that I'm
some passive-aggressive weirdo dabbling in magick.

KATE: Steve, you _are_ some passive-aggressive weirdo dabbling
in magick.

STEVE [grabs Kate's arm]: Well, you're a back-stabbing,
conniving fruit loop.

Steve holds Kate's arm. Kate pants.


[INT. A LOG CABIN IN THE BACKWOODS OF OREGON - NIGHT]

JOE: I had to warn you, Allen. I wanted to warn you because of
all the good times we've had at the Stones'. [pause] You may not know
this, but... but watching you come up with a seemingly endless stream
of formulaic one-liners has been a big artistic inspiration for me. I
looked up to you, and it hurts to see you like this.

ALLEN: Joe, I understand your motives... but you are barking
up the wrong tree here.

JOE: But you now know what happened between me and Kate. You
must realize what an exploitative, insincere wench she is. You must.
How could you not see it?

ALLEN: I do see it, and you are right, Joe. You are absolutely
right. She is deranged. She does lie, and cheat, and manipulate.
[pause] But there is one thing you've overlooked; one thing that helps
_me_ to overlook everything you mentioned.

JOE: What is it, Allen? For God's sake, man, tell me. What
kind of a hold does she have on you?

ALLEN: No, Joe, it's nothing like that. The reason... [pause]
The reason is this: My relationship with Kate means that I've now
officially become the first H.F.W. member, former or otherwise, to
score with a real, live woman! [a long pause] Now leave. She'll be
back any minute now.

Joe storms out of the cabin.


[INT. OPIE'S OFFICE AT THE FLONK CREATIONS HQ - NIGHT]

Steve has let go of Kate's hand. They are standing at the opposite
sides of the room.

KATE: Fine, Steve, be like that. [glances at her watch] I must
get back to Allen anyway. My Red Wings played Atlanta Flames earlier
tonight, and darling Allen promised to tape it for me. But rest
assured, you will hear from me, Steve Opie. You will hear from me!

Kate exits in a huff. Steve sits down, scratches his unshaven chin and
looks to the doorway with a characteristic appearance of bovine
dullness on his face.

Then he turns around and starts typing furiously again.


[ROLL CREDITS]

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

±

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Mar 24, 2002, 5:30:56 AM3/24/02
to

Is this going to be on HBO?


>
> --
> Ari <fun...@all.at>


--
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|S|a|y| |D|u|h| |t|o| |S|n|u|h|
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From: en_mog <en_...@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.tv.simpsons
Subject: Goodbye :-)
Date: Sat, 29 Apr 2000 08:05:45 -0500

If I have any integrity at all, I must leave.
I welcome others to do so as well if they refuse to be led by a group of
unthinking drones that are stuck in such a mindnumbingly predictable
pattern of
snuh/attack/snuh/attack/penises/attack/snuh/rectum/attack/.

From: TGOS <tg...@spamcop.net>
Newsgroups: alt.hentai.sailor-moon
Subject: Re: Great Newsgroup!
Date: 27 Nov 2000 02:23:19 -0600

Nobody can control the snuh.

Ready to create a new newsgroup?
Everything you need is here:
http://snetter.tripod.com

pleace add to yuor lits: snuh music
http://artists.mp3s.com/artist_song/770/770142.html

this has been another unique, handcrafted and thoughtful psot from the
Snuh family of fine psoters.

ad88888ba 88 ad88888ba
d8" "8b 88 d8" "8b
Y8, 88 "" a8P
`Y8aaaaa, 8b,YHBTba, 88 88 88,dPPYba, ,a8P"
`"""""8b, 88P' `"8a 88 88 88P' "8a d8"
`8b 88 88 88 88 88 88 ""
Y8a a8P 88 88 "8a, ,a88 88 88 88
"Y88888P" 88 88 `"YbbdP'Y8 88 Get Snuhy!

Fritz A. Wollner

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Mar 24, 2002, 8:19:28 AM3/24/02
to
On Sun, 24 Mar 2002 10:46:52 +0200, "03:15:38 GMT" <as...@mail.gr>
wrote:

Okay, who's the asshole that told Ari about the abandoned parking
lot incident?

meowmix

unread,
Mar 24, 2002, 9:39:53 AM3/24/02
to
On Sun, 24 Mar 2002 10:46:52 +0200, "03:15:38 GMT" <as...@mail.gr> wrote:

-=+># Previously on THE BLIND AND THE PITIFUL:
-=+>#
-=+># STEVE OPIE, an ambitious if incompetent middle-aged designer at
-=+># FLONKER CREATIONS, meets and falls in love with KATE ANONYME, a
-=+># deranged middle-aged harpy. Pulling some strings (and his pud),
-=+># Steve manages to secure a job for Kate at Flonker Creations as an XL
-=+># fashion model.
-=+>#
-=+># Kate quickly has a falling out with her co-workers. Steve first
-=+># sides with his lover, but the constant fighting puts a strain on
-=+># their relationship. Finally Steve gathers enough courage to tell
-=+># Kate he is leaving her. Despite their best efforts to put on a brave
-=+># face after the split, a lot of pent-up acrimony remains between the
-=+># two.
-=+>#
-=+># Non-plussed, as usual, Kate turns to other men, as usual. After a
-=+># brief fling with JOE BOOTSIE, the brash middle-aged head designer
-=+># at STONE FASHIONS, Kate seeks solace in the arms of DR. ALLEN
-=+># GILBERT, the Flonkers' and the Stones' family doctor. Allen is even
-=+># willing to severe his ties with the two families to be with Kate.
-=+>#
-=+># As we rejoin the action, Kate confronts Steve in his office at the
-=+># Flonker Creations' headquarters about his recent behavior.
-=+># Meanwhile, over at Allen's hideout, Joe tries to talk some sense
-=+># into the doctor.
-=+>
-=+>
-=+> [INT. OPIE'S OFFICE AT THE FLONKER CREATIONS HQ - NIGHT]
-=+>
-=+>A middle-aged unkempt man sits in a harshly lit, tiny room. He is
-=+>crouched over a keyboard, typing furiously. A droopy middle-aged woman
-=+>shows up at the door. Her facial features are covered under whore
-=+>makeup and her hair is carefully arranged into a beehive. The man
-=+>turns on his office chair and looks at her with bloodshot eyes.
-=+>
-=+> STEVE OPIE [with a heavy Australian accent]: Kate, you are
-=+>here.
-=+>
-=+> KATE ANONYME [with a nasal screech]: Yes, Steve. [pause] I am
-=+>here.
-=+>
-=+>The pair stare at each other.
-=+>
-=+>The pair still stare at each other.
-=+>
-=+> STEVE: Kate, why did you come here?
-=+>
-=+> KATE: Steve, we need to talk.
-=+>
-=+>The former lovers stare at each other some more.
-=+>
-=+>
-=+> [EXT. A LOG CABIN IN THE BACKWOODS OF OREGON - NIGHT]
-=+>
-=+>A beat-down Chevrolet pulls into a patch of open land in front of a
-=+>small log cabin. The driver, a middle-aged man with a protruding jaw
-=+>and a receding hairline, turns off the engine.
-=+>
-=+> JOE BOOTSIE [to himself]: Oh, how did I get myself into this?
-=+>It seemed such an innocuous, beautiful thing at first.
-=+>
-=+>Joe looks to the distance, upper right-hand corner.
-=+>
-=+>He has a flashback of him and Kate frolicking in an abandoned parking
-=+>lot surrounded by silhouettes of urban housing. Joe catches up to Kate
-=+>and they cuddle. It all takes a turn for the worse, though, when Joe
-=+>tries to nibble Kate's earlobe. Shocked by this desire to experiment,
-=+>Kate asks Joe whether he's some kind of a sexual pervert. The couple
-=+>start to argue.
-=+>
-=+>The vivid memory goes away.
-=+>
-=+> JOE: How did it come to this? [pause] I just hope Allen is
-=+>willing to listen to me.
-=+>
-=+>He steps out of the car, walks up to the cabin door and almost knocks.
-=+>Getting a better idea, he tries the handle. The door opens, and he
-=+>steps in.
-=+>
-=+>
-=+> [INT. OPIE'S OFFICE AT THE FLONKER CREATIONS HQ - NIGHT]
-=+>
-=+>Steve and Kate are still staring at each other.
-=+>
-=+> STEVE: What do you want to say to me, Kate?
-=+>
-=+> KATE: Steve, there's something I need to know. [pause] I want
-=+>to know whether you've been talking about us to outsiders... [pause] I
-=+>want to know whether you've been talking about our relationship to the
-=+>Flonkers.
-=+>
-=+>Kate gives Steve a glowering look. Steve in turn fixes his eyes on the
-=+>wall behind Kate, trying to gather what pass for his thoughts.
-=+>
-=+>
-=+> [INT. A LOG CABIN IN THE BACKWOODS OF OREGON - NIGHT]
-=+>
-=+>Despite the rugged exterior, the cabin surprisingly has running water
-=+>and electricity. A portly middle-aged man stands in a kitchen in front
-=+>of a sink, his back turned to the door. While the man washes dishes,
-=+>he is humming "H.M.S. Pinafore". Hearing footsteps, he stops humming
-=+>but doesn't look behind him.
-=+>
-=+> DR. ALLEN GILBERT: Is that you, Kate? I didn't get the Red
-=+>Wings-Flames game on tape, but I did take out the trash, and vacuum,
-=+>and these dishes are done in a minute...
-=+>
-=+> JOE: No, Allen. [pause] This is not Kate.
-=+>
-=+>Allen dries his hands, taking his time, and then turns to face Joe.
-=+>
-=+>
-=+> [INT. OPIE'S OFFICE AT THE FLONKER CREATIONS HQ - NIGHT]
-=+>
-=+>Steve has gotten up from his chair.
-=+>
-=+> STEVE: I might have mentioned something about you being
-=+>back-stabbing, conniving fruit loop. However, I didn't say anything
-=+>that wasn't already general knowledge.
-=+>
-=+> KATE: How could you, Steve? How could you do that to me, after
-=+>all we've been through?
-=+>
-=+> STEVE: Kate, all we've been through is what made me do it. And
-=+>don't play innocent with me. You've been telling everyone that I'm
-=+>some passive-aggressive weirdo dabbling in magick.
-=+>
-=+> KATE: Steve, you _are_ some passive-aggressive weirdo dabbling
-=+>in magick.
-=+>
-=+> STEVE [grabs Kate's arm]: Well, you're a back-stabbing,
-=+>conniving fruit loop.
-=+>
-=+>Steve holds Kate's arm. Kate pants.
-=+>
-=+>
-=+> [INT. A LOG CABIN IN THE BACKWOODS OF OREGON - NIGHT]
-=+>
-=+> JOE: I had to warn you, Allen. I wanted to warn you because of
-=+>all the good times we've had at the Stones'. [pause] You may not know
-=+>this, but... but watching you come up with a seemingly endless stream
-=+>of formulaic one-liners has been a big artistic inspiration for me. I
-=+>looked up to you, and it hurts to see you like this.
-=+>
-=+> ALLEN: Joe, I understand your motives... but you are barking
-=+>up the wrong tree here.
-=+>
-=+> JOE: But you now know what happened between me and Kate. You
-=+>must realize what an exploitative, insincere wench she is. You must.
-=+>How could you not see it?
-=+>
-=+> ALLEN: I do see it, and you are right, Joe. You are absolutely
-=+>right. She is deranged. She does lie, and cheat, and manipulate.
-=+>[pause] But there is one thing you've overlooked; one thing that helps
-=+>_me_ to overlook everything you mentioned.
-=+>
-=+> JOE: What is it, Allen? For God's sake, man, tell me. What
-=+>kind of a hold does she have on you?
-=+>
-=+> ALLEN: No, Joe, it's nothing like that. The reason... [pause]
-=+>The reason is this: My relationship with Kate means that I've now
-=+>officially become the first H.F.W. member, former or otherwise, to
-=+>score with a real, live woman! [a long pause] Now leave. She'll be
-=+>back any minute now.
-=+>
-=+>Joe storms out of the cabin.
-=+>
-=+>
-=+> [INT. OPIE'S OFFICE AT THE FLONK CREATIONS HQ - NIGHT]
-=+>
-=+>Steve has let go of Kate's hand. They are standing at the opposite
-=+>sides of the room.
-=+>
-=+> KATE: Fine, Steve, be like that. [glances at her watch] I must
-=+>get back to Allen anyway. My Red Wings played Atlanta Flames earlier
-=+>tonight, and darling Allen promised to tape it for me. But rest
-=+>assured, you will hear from me, Steve Opie. You will hear from me!
-=+>
-=+>Kate exits in a huff. Steve sits down, scratches his unshaven chin and
-=+>looks to the doorway with a characteristic appearance of bovine
-=+>dullness on his face.
-=+>
-=+>Then he turns around and starts typing furiously again.
-=+>
-=+>
-=+> [ROLL CREDITS]

Did you get your inspiration from watching daytime soaps, or is that actualy based on real events? I
can't tell the difference between the two these days.

--
rocky

mhm x v i x i i i

rizla

woof

meowmix

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Mar 24, 2002, 9:40:06 AM3/24/02
to
On Sun, 24 Mar 2002 08:19:28 -0500, Fritz A. Wollner<joe...@catholic.org> wrote:

-=+>On Sun, 24 Mar 2002 10:46:52 +0200, "03:15:38 GMT" <as...@mail.gr>
-=+>wrote:
-=+>

-=+>>
-=+>>--
-=+>> Ari <fun...@all.at>
-=+>
-=+>Okay, who's the asshole that told Ari about the abandoned parking
-=+>lot incident?

Would it be bad form to grass k00kie Kate up for doing it?

Scott Campbell

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Mar 24, 2002, 12:24:35 PM3/24/02
to

"03:15:38 GMT" <as...@mail.gr> wrote in message
news:8i4r9uccjicbrlj18...@ID-12638.paradoxa...

> # Previously on THE BLIND AND THE PITIFUL:

[...]

hee hee...


--
Scott Campbell - mhm 24x12


03:15:38 GMT

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Mar 24, 2002, 3:18:44 PM3/24/02
to
ryannosaurus <killing...@icqmail.com> did this:
> Only in a place like alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk would
> "03:15:38 GMT" <as...@mail.gr> have the audacity to post:

[...]

> <claps>
>
> <can't bring self to snip a line of this>
>
> Indeed, I found every moment precious, but I wish there was further
> elucidation of the motivations of the characters involved. I just
> don't understand some thingies... yet somehow I am certain pudding
> must be involved.

I can try to answer any questions you might have about the piece. Some
things were left out on purpose, to keep the audience waiting for the
next episode. For example, I envision a flashback for the good doctor
when Kate returns that'll fill in the blanks in his conversation with
Joe that were left when we followed Kate's confrontation with Steve.

(Not that there'll be a next episode, you understand, but building up
to one is the done thing in this genre.)

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

03:15:38 GMT

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Mar 24, 2002, 3:19:19 PM3/24/02
to
meowmix <ro...@moew.org> did this:

> "03:15:38 GMT" <as...@mail.gr> wrote:
>
>-=+># Previously on THE BLIND AND THE PITIFUL:

[...]

>-=+> [ROLL CREDITS]
>
> Did you get your inspiration from watching daytime soaps, or is that actualy
> based on real events? I can't tell the difference between the two these days.

A bit of both. And yes, turning recent real events into a daytime soap
isn't as difficult as it used to be.

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

trippy

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Mar 24, 2002, 6:26:41 PM3/24/02
to
This dude, "=?iso-8859-1?Q?=B1?=" h0plib...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com,
in message <3C9DAAE0...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com>, said the following
tripped out things....

America Undercover: The lonely, the looney, the keyboard.

--
Trippy

tri...@XspamblockXthetrippy.com

http://www.thetrippy.com

You're different, and that's bad.

Doobie Doobie Doo


Flaagg

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Mar 25, 2002, 4:58:33 AM3/25/02
to
Who is this 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr> that has an insatiable appetite
for article
<8i4r9uccjicbrlj18...@ID-12638.paradoxa>?

> [ROLL CREDITS]

Brilliant! Compelling! I'd buy all products that were advertised during
this show!

My only minor complaint is the lack of the evil twin showing up to
DESTROY it's sib using impersonation and such.

--
Aaron M. Henne -flaagg mhm9x2-
PLANET F WEBSITE: http://home.attbi.com/~flaagg/

"I believe in people lying. I believe in people dying."
- Tricky, "Excess"

03:15:38 GMT

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Mar 25, 2002, 9:13:28 AM3/25/02
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Flaagg <flaagg@REMOVE_TO_EMAIL_attbi.com> did this:
> Who is this 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr>:

>
>> [ROLL CREDITS]
>
> Brilliant! Compelling! I'd buy all products that were advertised during
> this show!

You're much too kind, sir, though it's heartening to know my emphasis
in fast-paced action and lifelike dialogue worked in this instance.

> My only minor complaint is the lack of the evil twin showing up to
> DESTROY it's sib using impersonation and such.

Such an exciting, unique plot twist would have been the proverbial
cherry on top of the cake, but working in the good twin proved too
difficult with this set of characters.

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

John Kimball

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Mar 25, 2002, 12:40:42 PM3/25/02
to
On Sun, 24 Mar 2002 10:46:52 +0200, "03:15:38 GMT" <as...@mail.gr> wrote in
Message id: <8i4r9uccjicbrlj18...@ID-12638.paradoxa>:

>Then he turns around and starts typing furiously again.

^^^^^^

ITYM masturbating.

--
"I think you will find that the real flonkers don't go around telling
other flonkers that they are merely tolerated." Optional Identity
(Troll4U...@meow.org) Finally figures out his role after being told
he's tolerated in msg. ID <lo0drt0kirq7vg3jg...@4ax.com>

<affinity>

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Mar 25, 2002, 9:16:37 PM3/25/02
to

03:15:38 GMT wrote:

What about demonic possession? Do you think you could work that in?


jet

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Mar 25, 2002, 9:55:02 PM3/25/02
to
Yeah, and a nun. Maybe the evil twin could be a demonically possessed
nun.


--
jet mhm 32x30 |
wee saul disciple #32 |
ich bin ein meower |

Peggy Scissons

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Mar 26, 2002, 1:44:34 AM3/26/02
to

"jet" <morr...@pyrophore.ogoense.net> wrote in message
news:a7oo30$oa6$1...@paradoxa.ogoense.net...
A demonically possessed nun with tourette's syndrom.

Smee

03:15:38 GMT

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Mar 26, 2002, 10:50:48 AM3/26/02
to
jet <morr...@pyrophore.ogoense.net> did this:

> "<affinity>" <lu...@bigpond.com> wrote:
>>03:15:38 GMT wrote:
>>> Flaagg <flaagg@REMOVE_TO_EMAIL_attbi.com> did this:

>>> > My only minor complaint is the lack of the evil twin showing up to


>>> > DESTROY it's sib using impersonation and such.
>>>
>>> Such an exciting, unique plot twist would have been the proverbial
>>> cherry on top of the cake, but working in the good twin proved too
>>> difficult with this set of characters.
>>
>>What about demonic possession? Do you think you could work that in?
>
> Yeah, and a nun. Maybe the evil twin could be a demonically possessed
> nun.

Now, if only there was a way for the evil twin who is a demonically
possessed nun to also be the good twin's real father.

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>
Perhaps a cloning experiment...

Jelliebun

unread,
Mar 26, 2002, 1:04:19 PM3/26/02
to

I'm pretty sure it is, in like Arkansas or something.

Jelliebun
mhm20x20
shaky on
geography
but pretty sure
it's south of
here somewhere

--
__
/ /\
.---/ /\ |
/ /o 0\ \|
/ /\ ^ / - meow
/ / / \_
\ |/\\ //\}
\|\ v_v /
"" ""

jet

unread,
Mar 26, 2002, 3:15:12 PM3/26/02
to
He/She's a transvestite demonically possessed nun.

Arnaud M. Fercq

unread,
Mar 26, 2002, 5:09:05 PM3/26/02
to
03:15:38 GMT a écrit :

># Previously on THE BLIND AND THE PITIFUL:

[...]

Not bad, I suppose. It's a shame nothing like this ever happens on UseNet.

--
Flamer to the Gentry -- Prof. IACW -- mhm 20x8 -- "ludus non nisi sanguineus"
http://iacw.usenet-performance-art.org/ (updated hoohehahahaha! Yeah, right.)

Ta gueule, Ludbunski.

"Menjy is the most important topic in the universe!"
-Jelliebun, almost.

"Menjy is not a fuckhead."
-Stain

anonyme

unread,
Mar 28, 2002, 3:39:46 PM3/28/02
to
On Tue, 26 Mar 2002 23:09:05 +0100 I answered Arnaud M. Fercq
<me...@iacw.org> from alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk.

>03:15:38 GMT a écrit :
>
>># Previously on THE BLIND AND THE PITIFUL:
>
>[...]
>
>Not bad, I suppose. It's a shame nothing like this ever happens on UseNet.

You expect beehive hairdos in this day and age, mebbe?

--
anonyme mhm 32x19
Smeeter #34 Wee Saul Disciple #29

http://www.kalnet.net/krowland/anonyme.htm
http://members.iinet.net.au/~vannevar/ascii3.html

I support Nekkid Flonking!!1!
meow!

anonyme

unread,
Mar 28, 2002, 3:40:13 PM3/28/02
to
To Ari:

You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that. ~What~ a coward you are.

Luckily Allen saw it on google, printed it out and brought it home. He
found it hilarious. I thought it was funny, except I ~really~ object
to the beehive. Call me XL, nasal, whatever, but my hair is halfway
down my back and using a 'beehive', ffs, is just a further give away
of your advanced years. <resentment>

I do have a complete critique in mind, however. I *will* google it and
find you...

muahaha

±

unread,
Mar 28, 2002, 7:29:49 PM3/28/02
to
anonyme wrote:
>
> To Ari:
>
> You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that.

How's that?

meowmix

unread,
Mar 28, 2002, 7:40:41 PM3/28/02
to
On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 16:29:49 -0800, ą <h0plib...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com> wrote:

-=+>anonyme wrote:
-=+>>
-=+>> To Ari:
-=+>>
-=+>> You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that.
-=+>
-=+>How's that?

She's blind and has a brail monitor?

-=+>>~What~ a coward you are.
-=+>
-=+>> Luckily Allen saw it on google, printed it out and brought it home. He
-=+>> found it hilarious. I thought it was funny, except I ~really~ object
-=+>> to the beehive. Call me XL, nasal, whatever, but my hair is halfway
-=+>> down my back and using a 'beehive', ffs, is just a further give away
-=+>> of your advanced years. <resentment>
-=+>>
-=+>> I do have a complete critique in mind, however. I *will* google it and
-=+>> find you...
-=+>>
-=+>> muahaha
-=+>>
-=+>> --
-=+>> anonyme mhm 32x19
-=+>> Smeeter #34 Wee Saul Disciple #29
-=+>>
-=+>> http://www.kalnet.net/krowland/anonyme.htm
-=+>> http://members.iinet.net.au/~vannevar/ascii3.html
-=+>>
-=+>> I support Nekkid Flonking!!1!
-=+>> meow!

Scott Campbell

unread,
Mar 28, 2002, 8:18:27 PM3/28/02
to

"±" <h0plib...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com> wrote in message
news:3CA3B57D...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com...

> anonyme wrote:
> >
> > To Ari:
> >
> > You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that.
>
> How's that?

The conversations that must take place inside this poor girl's head...

jet

unread,
Mar 28, 2002, 8:47:49 PM3/28/02
to
In article <kvd7ause1aluq0fsp...@4ax.com>, thread_libe...@meow.org wrote:
>On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 16:29:49 -0800, ą <h0plib...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com>
> wrote:
>
>-=+>anonyme wrote:
>-=+>>
>-=+>> To Ari:
>-=+>>
>-=+>> You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that.
>-=+>
>-=+>How's that?
>
>She's blind and has a brail monitor?
>
Ari deliberately posted it more than 40 hours before she read usenet,
again, so it would be expired off of altopia's server. He's devious
like that.

meowmix

unread,
Mar 28, 2002, 9:40:15 PM3/28/02
to
On Fri, 29 Mar 2002 01:47:49 GMT, morr...@pyrophore.ogoense.net (jet) wrote:

-=+>In article <kvd7ause1aluq0fsp...@4ax.com>, thread_libe...@meow.org wrote:
-=+>>On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 16:29:49 -0800, ą <h0plib...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com>
-=+>> wrote:
-=+>>


-=+>>-=+>anonyme wrote:
-=+>>-=+>>
-=+>>-=+>> To Ari:
-=+>>-=+>>
-=+>>-=+>> You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that.
-=+>>-=+>
-=+>>-=+>How's that?

-=+>>
-=+>>She's blind and has a brail monitor?
-=+>>
-=+>Ari deliberately posted it more than 40 hours before she read usenet,
-=+>again, so it would be expired off of altopia's server. He's devious
-=+>like that.

That's deviouse alright. Damn sneaky Vjiking.

03:15:38 GMT

unread,
Mar 29, 2002, 5:02:30 AM3/29/02
to
anonyme <ano...@meow.org> did this:

> To Ari:
>
> You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that. ~What~ a coward you are.

I knew nothing of the sort. In fact, I was fairly certain you would be
able to see it. I was even going to make sure you got a chance to read
it myself, though it turns out I don't have to because...

> Luckily Allen saw it on google, printed it out and brought it home. He
> found it hilarious. I thought it was funny,

You're spoiling me.

> except I ~really~ object to the beehive.

Oh, let your hair down, will you? I', perfectly entitled to portray
you based on your online personality. I picture you as Drew Carey
Show's Mimi's dumb, trashy sister, complete with a beehive.

> Call me XL, nasal, whatever, but my hair is halfway down my back and using
> a 'beehive', ffs, is just a further give away of your advanced years.
> <resentment>

Kate, you oaf, I gave you a bunch of negative attributes. Is someone
who remembers the time beehive hairdos were all the rage likely to
consider them tasteless?

Why are you still banging on about my supposed advanced years, anyway?
I've tried offering you clues on several occasions. Scott tried the
same. Now, you may be sufficiently blinkered to shrug them all off,
but isn't there anyone out there who likes you enough to bother saving
you from some embarrassment by setting you straight?

> I do have a complete critique in mind, however. I *will* google it and
> find you...
>
> muahaha

I can be persuaded to do a repost, but here's a link to Google:

http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=8i4r9uccjicbrlj18...@ID-12638.paradoxa

The previous, uniformly positive reviews can be viewed by clicking on
'Complete Thread'. Get busy.

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

03:15:38 GMT

unread,
Mar 29, 2002, 5:04:08 AM3/29/02
to
ą <h0plib...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com> did this:

> anonyme wrote:
>
>> To Ari:
>>
>> You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that.
>
> How's that?

She's the titular blind, apparently.

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

Avoid normal situations.

unread,
Mar 29, 2002, 8:32:36 AM3/29/02
to
In alt.flame 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr> wrote:
> anonyme <ano...@meow.org> did this:

[..]

> The previous, uniformly positive reviews can be viewed by clicking on
> 'Complete Thread'. Get busy.

They're universally positive because those of us who found it a laughless
cloud of hot air merely shrugged apathetically.

--
alt.flame Special Forces
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who
have not got it." ---George Bernard Shaw

anonyme

unread,
Mar 29, 2002, 3:13:23 PM3/29/02
to
On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 19:18:27 -0600 I answered "Scott Campbell"
<thunderin...@msn.com> from alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk.

>
>"±" <h0plib...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com> wrote in message
>news:3CA3B57D...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com...
>> anonyme wrote:
>> >
>> > To Ari:
>> >
>> > You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that.
>>
>> How's that?
>
>The conversations that must take place inside this poor girl's head...

Did I write "To Scott", "To Dean", or "To Rocky"? No. I wrote "To
Ari". He knows why I wouldn't have caught it. Or he should, since I
answered a post of his and told him when I would be back on line.

±

unread,
Mar 29, 2002, 9:05:46 PM3/29/02
to
anonyme wrote:
>
> On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 19:18:27 -0600 I answered "Scott Campbell"
> <thunderin...@msn.com> from alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk.
> >
> >"±" <h0plib...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com> wrote in message
> >news:3CA3B57D...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com...
> >> anonyme wrote:
> >> >
> >> > To Ari:
> >> >
> >> > You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that.
> >>
> >> How's that?
> >
> >The conversations that must take place inside this poor girl's head...
>
> Did I write "To Scott", "To Dean", or "To Rocky"? No. I wrote "To
> Ari".

Take a chill pill, Will.

> He knows why I wouldn't have caught it. Or he should, since I
> answered a post of his and told him when I would be back on line.

Next time I promise to make Ari wait for you.


>
> --
> anonyme mhm 32x19
> Smeeter #34 Wee Saul Disciple #29
>
> http://www.kalnet.net/krowland/anonyme.htm
> http://members.iinet.net.au/~vannevar/ascii3.html
>
> I support Nekkid Flonking!!1!
> meow!

http://www.aghltfc.com/usenet

anonyme

unread,
Mar 29, 2002, 11:07:00 PM3/29/02
to
On Fri, 29 Mar 2002 12:02:30 +0200 I answered as...@mail.gr (03:15:38
GMT) from alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk.

>anonyme <ano...@meow.org> did this:
>
>> To Ari:
>>
>> You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that. ~What~ a coward you are.
>
>I knew nothing of the sort.

Then you didn't read the post I wrote you where I *told* you when I


would be back on line.

> In fact, I was fairly certain you would be


>able to see it. I was even going to make sure you got a chance to read
>it myself, though it turns out I don't have to because...
>
>> Luckily Allen saw it on google, printed it out and brought it home. He
>> found it hilarious. I thought it was funny,
>
>You're spoiling me.
>
>> except I ~really~ object to the beehive.
>
>Oh, let your hair down, will you? I', perfectly entitled to portray
>you based on your online personality. I picture you as Drew Carey
>Show's Mimi's dumb, trashy sister, complete with a beehive.

And I picture you as an old, gay man typing with two fingers on an
ancient, outdated computer.

Works both ways, ye auld faggoty farte.

>> Call me XL, nasal, whatever, but my hair is halfway down my back and using
>> a 'beehive', ffs, is just a further give away of your advanced years.
>> <resentment>
>
>Kate, you oaf, I gave you a bunch of negative attributes. Is someone
>who remembers the time beehive hairdos were all the rage likely to
>consider them tasteless?

Who the hell would ~remember~ a beehive hairdo? I've seen them on tv.

*rolls eyes*

You're dating yourself. Period.

>Why are you still banging on about my supposed advanced years, anyway?

Because this is the online personna I picture you as.

>I've tried offering you clues on several occasions. Scott tried the
>same.

And no-one ever lies on usenet.

> Now, you may be sufficiently blinkered to shrug them all off,
>but isn't there anyone out there who likes you enough to bother saving
>you from some embarrassment by setting you straight?

One might say the same about you and your idea of what I look like. ;)

>> I do have a complete critique in mind, however. I *will* google it and
>> find you...
>>
>> muahaha
>
>I can be persuaded to do a repost, but here's a link to Google:
>
>http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=8i4r9uccjicbrlj18...@ID-12638.paradoxa

Rather you did a repost, so that the ">" show up. Allen and Joe told
me what most of the replies were. They both thought it was funny.

>The previous, uniformly positive reviews can be viewed by clicking on
>'Complete Thread'. Get busy.

I will when I can catch a minute. Prolly tomorrow.

anonyme

unread,
Mar 29, 2002, 11:07:40 PM3/29/02
to
On Fri, 29 Mar 2002 12:04:08 +0200 I answered as...@mail.gr (03:15:38
GMT) from alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk.

>ą <h0plib...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com> did this:
>> anonyme wrote:
>>
>>> To Ari:
>>>
>>> You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that.
>>
>> How's that?
>
>She's the titular blind, apparently.

States the man who ~responded~ to the post I made to him where I
stated when I would be back on line...

03:15:38 GMT

unread,
Mar 30, 2002, 6:11:28 AM3/30/02
to
Avoid normal situations. <by...@NOSPAM.olagrande.net> did this:

> 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr> wrote:

>> The previous, uniformly positive reviews can be viewed by clicking on
>> 'Complete Thread'. Get busy.
>
> They're universally positive because those of us who found it a
> laughless cloud of hot air merely shrugged apathetically.

alt.flame regulars are not known for their inclination to compliment
rather than criticize, yet you speak as if there was more than one of
you.

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

"I'd rather read alt.snuh than Ari Asikainen."
-- Some alt.snuh subscriber.

03:15:38 GMT

unread,
Mar 30, 2002, 6:14:22 AM3/30/02
to
anonyme <ano...@meow.org> did this:
> I answered as...@mail.gr (03:15:38 GMT):
>>anonyme <ano...@meow.org> did this:

>>> You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that. ~What~ a coward you are.
>>
>>I knew nothing of the sort.
>
> Then you didn't read the post I wrote you where I *told* you when I
> would be back on line.

Of course I read the post you wrote where you told when you'd be back
online. I followed up to it, didn't I?

>>> except I ~really~ object to the beehive.
>>

>>Oh, let your hair down, will you? I'm perfectly entitled to portray


>>you based on your online personality. I picture you as Drew Carey
>>Show's Mimi's dumb, trashy sister, complete with a beehive.
>
> And I picture you as an old, gay man typing with two fingers on an
> ancient, outdated computer.
>
> Works both ways, ye auld faggoty farte.

You do realize what the difference is, don't you? I describe a
character representing you in a work of fiction. You claim I am this
or that even though you obviously haven't got any idea what the
reality is.

>>Kate, you oaf, I gave you a bunch of negative attributes. Is someone
>>who remembers the time beehive hairdos were all the rage likely to
>>consider them tasteless?
>
> Who the hell would ~remember~ a beehive hairdo?

You and me, for two.

> I've seen them on tv.

The B-52's sure get around.

> *rolls eyes*
>
> You're dating yourself. Period.

Your ability to miss everything that contradicts your theories while
producing the most tenuous thought-processes possible to support them
is rather queer.

There was a real clue to my age in the story that started this thread,
not that you'd notice. When you're doing the review, look at the
reoccurring theme whenever a new character is described, and try to
figure out why I'd rag on them for that particular trait. Kate, I
can't recall the days beehive hairdos were big. Even my parents are
too young to remember them.

>>Why are you still banging on about my supposed advanced years, anyway?
>
> Because this is the online personna I picture you as.

Nope. You insist that I actually am old - and gay, though that has
fallen to the wayside a bit after the hiding you took for it in
previous threads. You even try to flame me for being these things.

>>I've tried offering you clues on several occasions. Scott tried the
>>same.
>
> And no-one ever lies on usenet.

Hey, go on believing your fantasies for all I care. It's not like you
are able to convince anyone else, and they do make these threads even
easier for me.

>>Now, you may be sufficiently blinkered to shrug them all off,
>>but isn't there anyone out there who likes you enough to bother saving
>>you from some embarrassment by setting you straight?
>
> One might say the same about you and your idea of what I look like. ;)

No, one might not. I don't claim to know what you look like. You, on
the other hand, are so hopelessly outmatched you have to invent
'facts'. That's sad, Kate. Sad for you.

>>I can be persuaded to do a repost, but here's a link to Google:
>>
>>http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=8i4r9uccjicbrlj18...@ID-12638.paradoxa
>
> Rather you did a repost, so that the ">" show up.

Go to the website, copy the text, switch back to Agent and 'Paste As
Quote'...

Oh, who do I think I'm talking to? That's much too technical for you.
Here, have a repost:

--- begin repost ---

| Path: uni-berlin.de!fu-berlin.de!newsfeed.berkeley.edu!news-hog.berkeley.edu!ucberkeley!newsfeed.stanford.edu!lnsnews.lns.cornell.edu!paradoxa.ogoense.net!not-for-mail
| From: "03:15:38 GMT" <as...@mail.gr>
| Newsgroups: alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk,alt.fan.karl-malden.nose,alt.fan.kate,alt.flame,alt.rock-n-roll.stones
| Subject: The Blind and the Pitiful
| Date: Sun, 24 Mar 2002 10:46:52 +0200
| Organization: The Skyscraper Condemnation Affiliate
| Lines: 189
| Message-ID: <8i4r9uccjicbrlj18...@ID-12638.paradoxa>
| Reply-To: Ari <fun...@all.at>
| Mime-Version: 1.0
| Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
| Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
| X-Trace: paradoxa.ogoense.net 1016959292 12031 Mw12031.paradoxa.ogoense.net (24 Mar 2002 08:41:32 GMT)
| X-Complaints-To: ab...@ogoense.net
| Summary: It's soap-a-riffic!
| X-Face: 1?Fv#z*mki~y^zYeqopY!ooae(NvjS"^hf3{41!ITjX!hVTntba/]:$Dq[^Z9]c?'Vq%#Bh
| xr{h.K<``&<b+Xi<Mm<KX5U<ojN?GHVz5=cZf,F"m3~:.w<StQda-14&AyP{^^8ru,/4}'$sz%h7P!
| 7V@q/cSqW,3Zqc#<f%|+=*Bv0~=rvOM9i/a;^[H\\kHmEz0[ES|ff
| X-MHM: 26x13
| Xref: uni-berlin.de alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk:302411 alt.fan.karl-malden.nose:273247 alt.flame:177890 alt.rock-n-roll.stones:166136

# Previously on THE BLIND AND THE PITIFUL:

#
# STEVE OPIE, an ambitious if incompetent middle-aged designer at
# FLONKER CREATIONS, meets and falls in love with KATE ANONYME, a
# deranged middle-aged harpy. Pulling some strings (and his pud),
# Steve manages to secure a job for Kate at Flonker Creations as an XL
# fashion model.
#
# Kate quickly has a falling out with her co-workers. Steve first
# sides with his lover, but the constant fighting puts a strain on
# their relationship. Finally Steve gathers enough courage to tell
# Kate he is leaving her. Despite their best efforts to put on a brave
# face after the split, a lot of pent-up acrimony remains between the
# two.
#
# Non-plussed, as usual, Kate turns to other men, as usual. After a
# brief fling with JOE BOOTSIE, the brash middle-aged head designer
# at STONE FASHIONS, Kate seeks solace in the arms of DR. ALLEN
# GILBERT, the Flonkers' and the Stones' family doctor. Allen is even
# willing to severe his ties with the two families to be with Kate.
#
# As we rejoin the action, Kate confronts Steve in his office at the
# Flonker Creations' headquarters about his recent behavior.
# Meanwhile, over at Allen's hideout, Joe tries to talk some sense
# into the doctor.


[INT. OPIE'S OFFICE AT THE FLONKER CREATIONS HQ - NIGHT]

A middle-aged unkempt man sits in a harshly lit, tiny room. He is
crouched over a keyboard, typing furiously. A droopy middle-aged woman
shows up at the door. Her facial features are covered under whore
makeup and her hair is carefully arranged into a beehive. The man
turns on his office chair and looks at her with bloodshot eyes.

STEVE OPIE [with a heavy Australian accent]: Kate, you are
here.

KATE ANONYME [with a nasal screech]: Yes, Steve. [pause] I am
here.

The pair stare at each other.

The pair still stare at each other.

STEVE: Kate, why did you come here?

KATE: Steve, we need to talk.

The former lovers stare at each other some more.


[EXT. A LOG CABIN IN THE BACKWOODS OF OREGON - NIGHT]

A beat-down Chevrolet pulls into a patch of open land in front of a
small log cabin. The driver, a middle-aged man with a protruding jaw
and a receding hairline, turns off the engine.

JOE BOOTSIE [to himself]: Oh, how did I get myself into this?
It seemed such an innocuous, beautiful thing at first.

Joe looks to the distance, upper right-hand corner.

He has a flashback of him and Kate frolicking in an abandoned parking
lot surrounded by silhouettes of urban housing. Joe catches up to Kate
and they cuddle. It all takes a turn for the worse, though, when Joe
tries to nibble Kate's earlobe. Shocked by this desire to experiment,
Kate asks Joe whether he's some kind of a sexual pervert. The couple
start to argue.

The vivid memory goes away.

JOE: How did it come to this? [pause] I just hope Allen is
willing to listen to me.

He steps out of the car, walks up to the cabin door and almost knocks.
Getting a better idea, he tries the handle. The door opens, and he
steps in.


[INT. OPIE'S OFFICE AT THE FLONKER CREATIONS HQ - NIGHT]

Steve and Kate are still staring at each other.

STEVE: What do you want to say to me, Kate?

KATE: Steve, there's something I need to know. [pause] I want
to know whether you've been talking about us to outsiders... [pause] I
want to know whether you've been talking about our relationship to the
Flonkers.

Kate gives Steve a glowering look. Steve in turn fixes his eyes on the
wall behind Kate, trying to gather what pass for his thoughts.


[INT. A LOG CABIN IN THE BACKWOODS OF OREGON - NIGHT]

Despite the rugged exterior, the cabin surprisingly has running water
and electricity. A portly middle-aged man stands in a kitchen in front
of a sink, his back turned to the door. While the man washes dishes,
he is humming "H.M.S. Pinafore". Hearing footsteps, he stops humming
but doesn't look behind him.

DR. ALLEN GILBERT: Is that you, Kate? I didn't get the Red
Wings-Flames game on tape, but I did take out the trash, and vacuum,
and these dishes are done in a minute...

JOE: No, Allen. [pause] This is not Kate.

Allen dries his hands, taking his time, and then turns to face Joe.


[INT. OPIE'S OFFICE AT THE FLONKER CREATIONS HQ - NIGHT]

Steve has gotten up from his chair.

STEVE: I might have mentioned something about you being
back-stabbing, conniving fruit loop. However, I didn't say anything
that wasn't already general knowledge.

KATE: How could you, Steve? How could you do that to me, after
all we've been through?

STEVE: Kate, all we've been through is what made me do it. And
don't play innocent with me. You've been telling everyone that I'm
some passive-aggressive weirdo dabbling in magick.

KATE: Steve, you _are_ some passive-aggressive weirdo dabbling
in magick.

STEVE [grabs Kate's arm]: Well, you're a back-stabbing,
conniving fruit loop.

Steve holds Kate's arm. Kate pants.


[INT. A LOG CABIN IN THE BACKWOODS OF OREGON - NIGHT]

JOE: I had to warn you, Allen. I wanted to warn you because of
all the good times we've had at the Stones'. [pause] You may not know
this, but... but watching you come up with a seemingly endless stream
of formulaic one-liners has been a big artistic inspiration for me. I
looked up to you, and it hurts to see you like this.

ALLEN: Joe, I understand your motives... but you are barking
up the wrong tree here.

JOE: But you now know what happened between me and Kate. You
must realize what an exploitative, insincere wench she is. You must.
How could you not see it?

ALLEN: I do see it, and you are right, Joe. You are absolutely
right. She is deranged. She does lie, and cheat, and manipulate.
[pause] But there is one thing you've overlooked; one thing that helps
_me_ to overlook everything you mentioned.

JOE: What is it, Allen? For God's sake, man, tell me. What
kind of a hold does she have on you?

ALLEN: No, Joe, it's nothing like that. The reason... [pause]
The reason is this: My relationship with Kate means that I've now
officially become the first H.F.W. member, former or otherwise, to
score with a real, live woman! [a long pause] Now leave. She'll be
back any minute now.

Joe storms out of the cabin.


[INT. OPIE'S OFFICE AT THE FLONK CREATIONS HQ - NIGHT]

Steve has let go of Kate's hand. They are standing at the opposite
sides of the room.

KATE: Fine, Steve, be like that. [glances at her watch] I must
get back to Allen anyway. My Red Wings played Atlanta Flames earlier
tonight, and darling Allen promised to tape it for me. But rest
assured, you will hear from me, Steve Opie. You will hear from me!

Kate exits in a huff. Steve sits down, scratches his unshaven chin and
looks to the doorway with a characteristic appearance of bovine
dullness on his face.

Then he turns around and starts typing furiously again.


[ROLL CREDITS]

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

--- end repost ---

> Allen and Joe told me what most of the replies were. They both thought it
> was funny.

I applaud them for their good taste on the matter.

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

03:15:38 GMT

unread,
Mar 30, 2002, 6:16:41 AM3/30/02
to
anonyme <ano...@meow.org> did this:
> I answered as...@mail.gr (03:15:38 GMT):

>>ą <h0plib...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com> did this:
>>> anonyme wrote:
>>>
>>>> To Ari:
>>>>
>>>> You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that.
>>>
>>> How's that?
>>
>>She's the titular blind, apparently.
>
> States the man who ~responded~ to the post I made to him where I
> stated when I would be back on line...

So he does. Now, what does your little break from online shenanigans
have to do with your ability to see the post that started this thread?

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

Avoid normal situations.

unread,
Mar 30, 2002, 6:17:17 AM3/30/02
to
In alt.flame 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr> wrote:
> Avoid normal situations. <by...@NOSPAM.olagrande.net> did this:

>>> The previous, uniformly positive reviews can be viewed by clicking on


>>> 'Complete Thread'. Get busy.
>>
>> They're universally positive because those of us who found it a
>> laughless cloud of hot air merely shrugged apathetically.

> alt.flame regulars are not known for their inclination to compliment
> rather than criticize, yet you speak as if there was more than one of
> you.

Let's not forget the untold thousands who have no opinion because they
have your articles automatically junked.

ObBowieReferenceToAnnoyKerro: I'm okay, you're so-so, ohhh-oh...

03:15:38 GMT

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 4:06:25 AM3/31/02
to
Avoid normal situations. <by...@NOSPAM.olagrande.net> did this:

> Let's not forget the untold thousands who have no opinion because they


> have your articles automatically junked.

Untold thousands are supposed to have my articles junked, but you're
still reading them.

I believe the phrase is "Yeah, right."

> ObBowieReferenceToAnnoyKerro: I'm okay, you're so-so, ohhh-oh...

The other day I stumbled across everyone's favorite mediocre Aussie
telling the folks in alt.folklore.urban - who were in the process of
handing his ass to him - that no one orders him around because he is,
and I quote, a flame-stud. For crying out loud.

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

Avoid normal situations.

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 5:16:30 AM3/31/02
to
In alt.flame 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr> wrote:
> Avoid normal situations. <by...@NOSPAM.olagrande.net> did this:

>> Let's not forget the untold thousands who have no opinion because they
>> have your articles automatically junked.

> Untold thousands are supposed to have my articles junked, but you're
> still reading them.

> I believe the phrase is "Yeah, right."

*shrug* There have always been a few posters that I read that aren't big
hits with hoi polloi... just like with so many movies I pay to see. Dogbreath,
f'r instance.

>> ObBowieReferenceToAnnoyKerro: I'm okay, you're so-so, ohhh-oh...

> The other day I stumbled across everyone's favorite mediocre Aussie
> telling the folks in alt.folklore.urban - who were in the process of
> handing his ass to him - that no one orders him around because he is,
> and I quote, a flame-stud. For crying out loud.

Cite?

--
alt.flame "not that I disbelieve you" Special Forces

03:15:38 GMT

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 6:20:28 AM3/31/02
to
Avoid normal situations. <by...@NOSPAM.olagrande.net> did this:
> 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr> wrote:

>> Untold thousands are supposed to have my articles junked, but you're
>> still reading them.
>>
>> I believe the phrase is "Yeah, right."
>
> *shrug* There have always been a few posters that I read that aren't big
> hits with hoi polloi... just like with so many movies I pay to see.
> Dogbreath, f'r instance.

This would be a good point in the discussion for you to offer
arguments in support of your assertion that the unwashed masses find
my articles less than riveting. It's beginning to sound like a
variation of the old lurkers offering support via email chestnut.

>> The other day I stumbled across everyone's favorite mediocre Aussie
>> telling the folks in alt.folklore.urban - who were in the process of
>> handing his ass to him - that no one orders him around because he is,
>> and I quote, a flame-stud. For crying out loud.
>
> Cite?

I'll cite, though you could have looked it up yourself after all the
pointers I gave. [fires up a browser] [tap-tappity-tap]

Oh me, oh my. This is even better than the original article I came
across (or worse, depending on your point of view).

--- begin quoted article ---

| Message-ID: <3CA445FF...@NOSPAM.mira.net>
| From: Kerro <ke...@NOSPAM.mira.net>
| Organization: Dial-a-Kvetch
| X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.02 [en] (Win95; I)
| MIME-Version: 1.0
| Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
| Subject: Re: The Prolixin Shuffle
| References: <3CA028E5...@NOSPAM.mira.net> <a7q7ek$145q$1...@home.eCynic.com> <3CA17AF7...@NOSPAM.mira.net> <a7tnol$a9f$1...@allhats.xcski.com> <3CA3A2AA...@NOSPAM.mira.net> <enNo8.33381$tg4.3...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> <3CA3E54B...@NOSPAM.mira.net> <s478augd34b6nkoo3...@4ax.com>


| Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
| Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

| Lines: 26
| Date: Fri, 29 Mar 2002 21:46:23 +1100
| NNTP-Posting-Host: 203.100.224.75
| X-Complaints-To: ne...@pacific.net.au
| X-Trace: nasal.pacific.net.au 1017398481 203.100.224.75 (Fri, 29 Mar 2002 21:41:21 EST)
| NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 29 Mar 2002 21:41:21 EST

Phil Edwards wrote:
>
> On Fri, 29 Mar 2002 14:53:47 +1100, Kerro <ke...@NOSPAM.mira.net>
> wrote:
>
> >I was going to knock it off, but then Rick Tyler's follow-up to
> >young Meredith's enthusiastic-but-not-very-forceful rejoinder
> >irritated me so much that I felt compelled to assert myself
> >(slightly) further. Perhaps *Rick* thought that Mezza's
> >youthful enthusiasm carried some punch, but as an alt.flame
> >veteran with many years' experience, I can assure you she's
> >no Barbara Abernathy.
> >
> >NOBODY tells me to knock anything off. I *am* a flame-stud;
> >trust me...
>
> Knock it off, Kerro.
>
> Phil "now" Edwards

Ok, Phil. I was a bit Tired & Emotional. Had a few drinkies.
I'm knocking it off *right now* and will not follow up to
this thread, no matter what is written.


Kerro

--- end quoted article ---

If that article doesn't scream "flame-stud", I don't know what does.
Ayup. [falls down laughing]

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

John Kimball

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 6:27:25 AM3/31/02
to
On Sun, 31 Mar 2002 10:16:30 +0000 (UTC), "Avoid normal situations."
<by...@NOSPAM.olagrande.net> wrote in Message id:
<a86nlu$9pk$1...@og1.olagrande.net>:

>In alt.flame 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr> wrote:

[...]

>> The other day I stumbled across everyone's favorite mediocre Aussie
>> telling the folks in alt.folklore.urban - who were in the process of
>> handing his ass to him - that no one orders him around because he is,
>> and I quote, a flame-stud. For crying out loud.
>
> Cite?

Since I just had to see this, and was already there:
http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=3CA3E54B.B2A8B7FE%40NOSPAM.mira.net&output=gplain
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

From: Kerro <ke...@NOSPAM.mira.net>
Organization: Dial-a-Kvetch
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.02 [en] (Win95; I)
MIME-Version: 1.0
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: The Prolixin Shuffle
References: <3CA028E5...@NOSPAM.mira.net>
<a7q7ek$145q$1...@home.eCynic.com> <3CA17AF7...@NOSPAM.mira.net>
<a7tnol$a9f$1...@allhats.xcski.com> <3CA3A2AA...@NOSPAM.mira.net>
<enNo8.33381$tg4.3...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>

Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

Lines: 32
Date: Fri, 29 Mar 2002 14:53:47 +1100
NNTP-Posting-Host: 210.23.134.87
X-Complaints-To: ne...@pacific.net.au
X-Trace: nasal.pacific.net.au 1017373726 210.23.134.87 (Fri, 29 Mar 2002
14:48:46 EST)
NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 29 Mar 2002 14:48:46 EST


Deborah, Stevenson, stev...@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu wrote:
>
> Kerro <ke...@NOSPAM.mira.net> writes:
>
> >I shouldn't have said "apple pie"; I didn't really mean that. I object
> >more to the constant refrain that America is "the world's greatest
> >Democracy". I mean... it just so *isn't*.
>
> Remember when you said you'd knock it off? This would be not knocking it
> off.

I know. I was going to knock it off, but then Rick Tyler's follow-up to


young Meredith's enthusiastic-but-not-very-forceful rejoinder
irritated me so much that I felt compelled to assert myself
(slightly) further. Perhaps *Rick* thought that Mezza's
youthful enthusiasm carried some punch, but as an alt.flame
veteran with many years' experience, I can assure you she's
no Barbara Abernathy.

NOBODY tells me to knock anything off. I *am* a flame-stud;
trust me...


--
begin trash harddisk.vbs
I'm a signature virus. Copy me! Look here why:
http://support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/Q265/2/30.ASP
end

Avoid normal situations.

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 7:12:03 AM3/31/02
to
In alt.flame 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr> wrote:
> Avoid normal situations. <by...@NOSPAM.olagrande.net> did this:

[..]

>>> Untold thousands are supposed to have my articles junked, but you're
>>> still reading them.
>>>
>>> I believe the phrase is "Yeah, right."
>>
>> *shrug* There have always been a few posters that I read that aren't big
>> hits with hoi polloi... just like with so many movies I pay to see.
>> Dogbreath, f'r instance.

> This would be a good point in the discussion for you to offer
> arguments in support of your assertion that the unwashed masses find
> my articles less than riveting.

You're awfully impressed with yourself. The people who also really put the
"wank" into "wanker" and the people who are forgotten very shortly after they
stop posting (if not before) are so often the same ones.

Those a.f. contribbies who could bore the ears off a dog often get more
attention than they deserve if they also can stuff a wild bikini. Somehow,
however, I doubt you possess that charming trait.

(Well, you insisted. Nyaaaah!)

>>> The other day I stumbled across everyone's favorite mediocre Aussie
>>> telling the folks in alt.folklore.urban - who were in the process of
>>> handing his ass to him - that no one orders him around because he is,
>>> and I quote, a flame-stud. For crying out loud.
>>
>> Cite?

> I'll cite, though you could have looked it up yourself after all the
> pointers I gave.

Of course I could have, you foolish flapping Finn. But you were the bloke
who made the contention, hence it was your duty to provide the evidence.

> [fires up a browser] [tap-tappity-tap]

> Oh me, oh my. This is even better than the original article I came
> across (or worse, depending on your point of view).

> --- begin quoted article ---

[ kersnippity ]

> --- end quoted article ---

> If that article doesn't scream "flame-stud", I don't know what does.

Kerro didn't invent that posture. It's been the tradition for every Oz
a.f. poster for as long as anyone cares to remember -- the "You should all be
SO grateful I even deign to post here!!!" attitude, even though their posts
are usually as dry as a dehydrated dingo's asshole.

> Ayup. [falls down laughing]

I second that emotion.

There's a five-letter word I usually post in a large font at times like
this, but that would be pointing out the obvious...

--
alt.flame "exactly how many years are we going to laugh about this?" Special

Arnaud M. Fercq

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 8:23:35 AM3/31/02
to
03:15:38 GMT a écrit :
>Avoid normal situations. <by...@NOSPAM.olagrande.net> did this:
>> 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr> wrote:

[...]

Jesus Christ. He'll *never* learn.

--
Flamer to the Gentry -- Prof. IACW -- mhm 20x8 -- "ludus non nisi sanguineus"
http://iacw.usenet-performance-art.org/ (updated hoohehahahaha! Yeah, right.)

"Listen here, I *deleted* that article the next morning (yes -
after I'd sobered up. It was a stupid thing to post)."
-John Kerrens, posting sober.

"Ok, Phil. I was a bit Tired & Emotional. Had a few drinkies.
I'm knocking it off *right now* and will not follow up to
this thread, no matter what is written."

-John Kerrens, flame-stud, posting sober.

Avoid normal situations.

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 2:21:58 PM3/31/02
to
In alt.flame Arnaud M. Fercq <me...@iacw.org> wrote:
> 03:15:38 GMT a écrit :
>>Avoid normal situations. <by...@NOSPAM.olagrande.net> did this:
>>> 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr> wrote:

> [...]

> Jesus Christ. He'll *never* learn.

There's even better.

[ begin included text ]

From ix.netcom.com!news.maxwell.syr.edu!pumpkin.pangea.ca!news.mira.net.au!not-for-mail Fri Mar 28 21:22:39 1997
Path: ix.netcom.com!news.maxwell.syr.edu!pumpkin.pangea.ca!news.mira.net.au!not-for-mail
From: kerro <ke...@werple.net.au>
Newsgroups: alt.flame,alt.tasteless
Subject: Re: Aus.Flame - The Only True Flame Group
Date: Sat, 29 Mar 1997 06:02:37 -0800
Organization: Multi Death Corporation
Lines: 59
Message-ID: <333D20...@werple.net.au>
References: <332F46...@werple.net.au> <33321C...@pacbell.nospam.net> <5gvllm$6...@nnrp1.news.primenet.com> <seentoE7...@netcom.com> <5h9mfd$a...@nnrp1.news.primenet.com> <slrn5jjcv2...@paranoid.freaks.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: dp-m-b09.werple.net.au
Mime-Version: 1.0


Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

X-Mailer: Mozilla 2.02E-KIT (Win16; I)
Xref: ix.netcom.com alt.flame:377427 alt.tasteless:129661

J. Smith wrote:
>
> In article <5h9mfd$a...@nnrp1.news.primenet.com>, Robin Miller wrote:
> > Is it true that JonBenet Ramsey was last seen pecking at a computer,
> > writing a post to alt.flame?
>
> In a sense, yes.
>
> JonBenet was sitting at the family computer, reading her favorite newsgroup:
> alt.flame. She was so absorbed in hunt-and-peckering a new post (a one-line
> followup, natch), she didn't hear the door at the top of the basement stairs
> click open. The steps and floor were carpeted and muffled the approaching
> footsteps.
>
> Daddy roughly seizes the startled JonBenet from behind, one hand wrapping
> diagonally across her mouth and the other reaching frantically between her
> legs. He massages her tiny, hairless mound with his heavy, greasy hand;
> pushing and pulling desperately at her crotch. The stench of liquor on his
> breath makes little JonBenet wrinkle her face in disgust. She was used to
> him fucking her, but usually he brushed his teeth, so Mommy wouldn't smell it
> on her later.
>
> With a wail of realized desire, Daddy slams her face into the keyboard
> and tries to yank her pants down her legs, but her sitting positions
> prevents easy removal. With one hand holding her face pressed into the
> plastic keys, he scoops his other arm under her torso and yanks her legs
> backward. Her chair goes crashing down.
>
> Daddy fumbles his thick cock out of the top of his sweat-pants, rubbing
> the head with a shaking, sweat-slick thumb. He takes his hand off of his
> unstruggling daughter's neck long enough to spit into it, rubbing a wad of
> thick, acrid saliva onto the tip and rigid shaft.
>
> JonBenet's legs are pushed apart with a knee and suddenly she can feel
> the broad top of his cock bumping against the her pussy. Daddy hisses out
> a shivering breath, his crank slowly working between her bare cuntlips.
>
> "Get ON with it, you fat shit," she shreiks and he lurches forward,
> shoving his rude shaft four inches into JonBenet's tiny quim.
>
> Daddy thrusts forward rhythmically and powerfully. Each push slides her
> tiny, milky body a few inches forward, raking her face across the keyboard
> and randomly pressing keys. As Daddy works her harder and faster, the
> letters fly out and the keyboard shifts under her rolling, reddened face.
>
> Screaming between his teeth, Daddy shoots an angry wad of spunk deep
> inside JonBenet's stretched and stinging twat. He thrusts forward violently,
> pushing JonBenet's forehead into the keyboard once final time. The keys are
> hit and a post is sent. The post -- containing a single line of hundreds
> of random characters -- eventually disappears, unobserved in the illiterate
> chaos of alt.flame.
>
> smith
>

Phwoar. That gave me a hard-on. Was it based on a true story, or what?
--
Kerro.
http://www.werple.net.au/~kerro

[ end included text ]

Why the "GARY BURNORE IS A CHILD MOLESTER!!!!1!!1!" crowd hasn't picked this
up and ran with it, I'll never know.

--
alt.flame Special Forces

Flaagg

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 8:30:04 PM3/31/02
to
In article <a86rqi$p6d$0...@pita.alt.net>, John Kimball
<john...@hotmail.com> writes...

Knock it off, Kerro.

--
Aaron M. Henne -flaagg mhm9x2-
PLANET F WEBSITE: http://home.attbi.com/~flaagg/

"I believe in people lying. I believe in people dying."
- Tricky, "Excess"

Kerro

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 11:20:32 PM3/31/02
to
03:15:38 GMT wrote:

[backstab "flame"]

I only stumbled across this - could easily have missed the
whole covert assasination of my character.

The people in a.f.u have never "handed me my ass back". I'm
usually quite well behaved in a.f.u and consistently post
superb articles. I do occasionally violate their 'BoP' (Ban
on Politics) ruling but it's a small price for the good folk
of alt.folklore.urban to pay - writing like mine doesn't
come around every day...


Kerro

Kerro

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 11:23:16 PM3/31/02
to

I deleted that article too - within minutes of posting it.
You people must be stalking me all over the Net.


Kerro

spo...@petitmorte.net

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 11:29:15 PM3/31/02
to
Kerro <ke...@NOSPAM.mira.net> wrote in
news:3CA7E0B3...@NOSPAM.mira.net:

Yeabut, not all servers accept cancels.


--
You're so very ordinary
You're so very lame
Tastes like whiskey on your lips
And earthworms rule your brain

http://www.petitmorte.net/fuckingpigs/

Unknown

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 11:50:54 PM3/31/02
to
On Fri, 29 Mar 2002 15:13:23 -0500, anonyme <ano...@meow.org> wrote:

>On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 19:18:27 -0600 I answered "Scott Campbell"
><thunderin...@msn.com> from alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk.
>>

>>"ą" <h0plib...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com> wrote in message


>>news:3CA3B57D...@WHATISSPAMhotmail.com...
>>> anonyme wrote:
>>> >
>>> > To Ari:
>>> >
>>> > You ~knew~ I wouldn't be able to see that.
>>>
>>> How's that?
>>
>>The conversations that must take place inside this poor girl's head...
>
>Did I write "To Scott", "To Dean", or "To Rocky"? No. I wrote "To
>Ari". He knows why I wouldn't have caught it. Or he should, since I
>answered a post of his and told him when I would be back on line.
>
>--

Katie? Every post is PUBLIC. Sorry if you missed that.

±

unread,
Apr 1, 2002, 1:33:51 AM4/1/02
to

At UseNet, no one can hear you scream.


> Kerro

The Beet Man

unread,
Apr 1, 2002, 1:34:09 AM4/1/02
to
On 1 Apr 2002 04:29:15 GMT, in article
<Xns91E2D0662B8...@207.14.113.10>, "spo...@petitmorte.net"
<spo...@petitmorte.net> wrote:

>Kerro <ke...@NOSPAM.mira.net> wrote in
>news:3CA7E0B3...@NOSPAM.mira.net:
>
>> Arnaud M. Fercq wrote:
>>>
>>> 03:15:38 GMT a écrit :
>>> >Avoid normal situations. <by...@NOSPAM.olagrande.net> did this:
>>> >> 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr> wrote:
>>>
>>> [...]
>>>
>>> Jesus Christ. He'll *never* learn.
>>>
>>> --
>>> Flamer to the Gentry -- Prof. IACW -- mhm 20x8 -- "ludus non nisi
>>> sanguineus" http://iacw.usenet-performance-art.org/ (updated
>>> hoohehahahaha! Yeah, right.)
>>>
>>> "Listen here, I *deleted* that article the next morning (yes -
>>> after I'd sobered up. It was a stupid thing to post)."
>>> -John Kerrens, posting sober.
>>>
>>> "Ok, Phil. I was a bit Tired & Emotional. Had a few drinkies.
>>> I'm knocking it off *right now* and will not follow up to
>>> this thread, no matter what is written."
>>> -John Kerrens, flame-stud, posting sober.
>>
>> I deleted that article too - within minutes of posting it.
>> You people must be stalking me all over the Net.
>
>Yeabut, not all servers accept cancels.

Mindspring/Earthlink doesn't appear to accept cancels, including
cancels posted by their own users.


--
This post brought to you courtesy of the Beet Man!

headkase

unread,
Mar 31, 2002, 2:46:42 AM3/31/02
to

"Kerro" <ke...@NOSPAM.mira.net> wrote in message
news:3CA7E0B3...@NOSPAM.mira.net...

depending on the pay i will stalk you too.


headkase


03:15:38 GMT

unread,
Apr 1, 2002, 4:05:17 AM4/1/02
to
Avoid normal situations. <by...@NOSPAM.olagrande.net> did this:
> 03:15:38 GMT <as...@mail.gr> wrote:
>> Avoid normal situations. <by...@NOSPAM.olagrande.net> did this:

>>> *shrug* There have always been a few posters that I read that aren't big


>>> hits with hoi polloi... just like with so many movies I pay to see.
>>> Dogbreath, f'r instance.
>>
>> This would be a good point in the discussion for you to offer
>> arguments in support of your assertion that the unwashed masses find
>> my articles less than riveting.
>
> You're awfully impressed with yourself.

Tommyrot, you inattentive irritant. There's a great deal of leeway
between occupying killfiles from here to Melbourne and being God's
personal gift to Usenet.

> The people who also really put the "wank" into "wanker" and the people who
> are forgotten very shortly after they stop posting (if not before) are so
> often the same ones.
>
> Those a.f. contribbies who could bore the ears off a dog often get more
> attention than they deserve if they also can stuff a wild bikini. Somehow,
> however, I doubt you possess that charming trait.

While your personal theories on net.matters are always things to
behold... (Stop tittering at the back. No, really. I'm trying to have
a serious discussion here.) I fail to see the relevance here. You were
arguing that your opinions can differ radically from those of the
teeming masses just a response cycle ago.

So, what lead you to the conclusion that untold of thousands have
killfiled me? The times I've been publicly plonked are certainly few
and far apart. It seems to happen about once a year, disregarding
Russell. Really, Jack, you know what the general opinion is on people
who claim general opinion is on their side because they say it is.

> (Well, you insisted. Nyaaaah!)

(I still do.)

>> I'll cite, though you could have looked it up yourself after all the
>> pointers I gave.
>
> Of course I could have, you foolish flapping Finn.

Now you've done it, you bumbling bullheaded blatherskite. You'll have
that one moldy oldbie mucker all over this thread in no time,
explaining to anyone willing to listen how Blob Whatshisname gave
alliteration a bad name back in the year sword and helmet, and how
it's gosh/darn surprising anyone at all still uses the technique.

What an asinine artless automaton that guy is.

> But you were the bloke who made the contention, hence it was your duty
> to provide the evidence.

Which is exactly why I did provide evidence when asked. That doesn't
mean the request itself wasn't needless.

|| http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=3CA445FF...@NOSPAM.mira.net

>> If that article doesn't scream "flame-stud", I don't know what does.
>
> Kerro didn't invent that posture. It's been the tradition for every Oz a.f.
> poster for as long as anyone cares to remember -- the "You should all be SO
> grateful I even deign to post here!!!" attitude, even though their posts
> are usually as dry as a dehydrated dingo's asshole.

One'd hope they're just using it as flame bait, but e.g. in Kerro's
case it appears the poor bastard actually believes his own hype.

>> Ayup. [falls down laughing]
>
> I second that emotion.

It's the juxtaposition that really does it:

"NOBODY tells me to knock anything off. I *am* a flame-stud;
trust me..."

-- Kerro, flame-stud.

"Ok, Phil. I was a bit Tired & Emotional. Had a few drinkies.
I'm knocking it off *right now* and will not follow up to
this thread, no matter what is written."

-- Kerro, flame-stud, seven hours later.

Oh dear. [wipes eyes]

> There's a five-letter word I usually post in a large font at times like
> this, but that would be pointing out the obvious...

No, kids, he's not talking about "Fckhd."

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>

03:15:38 GMT

unread,
Apr 1, 2002, 4:05:59 AM4/1/02
to
Kerro <ke...@NOSPAM.mira.net> did this:

> 03:15:38 GMT wrote:
>
> [backstab "flame"]
>
> I only stumbled across this - could easily have missed the
> whole covert assasination of my character.

"Stealth flame"? "Backstab 'flame'"? "Covert assasination [sic] of
character"? *giggle*

Kerro, there's fuck all stealthy or covert about flaming an alt.flame
regular in an article posted to... [drumroll, please!] alt.flame. Even
if you had missed the original posts - in a discussion with Maxfield?
Not bloody likely - half of A dot F would have been more than happy to
inform you of the recent revelations.

Drop this nonsense now and avoid embarrassing yourself even further,
you big fluffy flame-stud you. Claim you had been drinking before you
wrote it, if you must.

(I mean, that has worked _so_ well for you in the past.)

> The people in a.f.u have never "handed me my ass back".

You got in an argument. You were flamed. You told the group of your
flame-studness. Then you got flamed some more. You made excuses for
your previous words and bowed out of the thread. I think you'll find
the criteria of ass handing were easily fulfilled.

> I'm usually quite well behaved in a.f.u and consistently post
> superb articles. I do occasionally violate their 'BoP' (Ban
> on Politics) ruling but it's a small price for the good folk
> of alt.folklore.urban to pay - writing like mine doesn't
> come around every day...

How many of them plonked you after the you overdosed on testosterone
and tried to dazzle them with your alt.flame history?

--
Ari <fun...@all.at>
_.........._
____________________ ,' `.
/ \ |`-==========-'|
! I *am* a flame-stud; !__ _ ,---. _ \
! trust me... ______/ \ (~-| . . |-~)________ /
\_____________/ \._ 0 _,/' `-.|
/ `-^-'`-._________.-'|
' `-. : |
Kerro----> : )E . |
: ,---' : . |
. )E: ' |
======================================'._____,---': : . : |========
| : |
A drinkie----> \ : /
`._:______'_.'

Kerro

unread,
Apr 1, 2002, 4:29:34 AM4/1/02
to
03:15:38 GMT wrote:
>
> Kerro <ke...@NOSPAM.mira.net> did this:
> > 03:15:38 GMT wrote:
> >
> > [backstab "flame"]
> >
> > I only stumbled across this - could easily have missed the
> > whole covert assasination of my character.
>
> "Stealth flame"? "Backstab 'flame'"? "Covert assasination [sic] of
> character"? *giggle*

Well, you could have *hand-waved* a bit more. Something like:
"Yo, Kerro - over here!" in the header. I don't have time to
read all the articles in a.f, or any other ng - I have an
incredibly busy life - so it would help to know when one is
being "flamed".....



> Kerro, there's fuck all stealthy or covert about flaming an alt.flame
> regular in an article posted to... [drumroll, please!] alt.flame. Even
> if you had missed the original posts - in a discussion with Maxfield?
> Not bloody likely - half of A dot F would have been more than happy to
> inform you of the recent revelations.
>
> Drop this nonsense now and avoid embarrassing yourself even further,
> you big fluffy flame-stud you. Claim you had been drinking before you
> wrote it, if you must.
>
> (I mean, that has worked _so_ well for you in the past.)

I did plenty of drinking this Easter, I can tell you; but I
don't use it as an excuse very often. I write some of my
best stuff when I've had a few. (I got through some pretty-
good 'Finlandia' vodka over the long weekend. Probably the
only decent thing to have come out of that shitty country.)

>
> > The people in a.f.u have never "handed me my ass back".
>
> You got in an argument. You were flamed. You told the group of your
> flame-studness. Then you got flamed some more. You made excuses for
> your previous words and bowed out of the thread. I think you'll find
> the criteria of ass handing were easily fulfilled.

Well, keep in mind - Ari - that alt.folklore.urban is not a
flame-group. They can't flame as well as me - who can? - so I
can afford to be magnanimous, which I was, when someone takes
exception to something I wrote. Do *you* flame people in every
newsgroup you hang out in?