Sick of adoption horror stories
Tera Moskal
movie about Leanne Dees called Baby Brokers. The movie was about this couple
who promised their unborn baby to several couples at once to get money. They
did this with six of the woman's pregnancies.I know that this really happened,
but can't they show things about adoption other than just the horror stories?
No wonder adoption carries a stigma in society.
I'll make a movie if they want. It would be about how my husband and I adopted
my sister's baby boy and how everything went smoothly. It didn't cost us
anything except for the $345 lawyer's cost. I still talk to her about every
other day. I talk to her openly about the pain that she's working through
about the relinquishment. I call her when he does something cute. And now that
he's 18mos., we will be deciding together what she would like him to call her
(aunt Shelly, Shelly, etc.) until he is old enough to decide on his own.
I would gladly do a movie about how things do work out the first time around
for adoption. But alas, it wouldn't sell and no one would watch :( And most of
society remains ignorant about the norms for adoption.
Tera
mos...@ccadmin.tech.nwu.edu
Rita Freese
> I was tired of watching the Olympics last night, so I started watching the
> movie about Leanne Dees called Baby Brokers. The movie was about this couple
> who promised their unborn baby to several couples at once to get money. They
> did this with six of the woman's pregnancies.I know that this really happened,
> but can't they show things about adoption other than just the horror stories?
> No wonder adoption carries a stigma in society.
I agree with you, but controversy sells, and alas, these situations really
happen. I think people like to see how awful life is for others in order to
make themselves feel better about their own lives. I often wonder, if our
adoption experiences were made into a TV movie, if they would only tell the
bad stuff and leave our wonderful daughter out of it?
> I'll make a movie if they want. It would be about how my husband and I adopted
> my sister's baby boy and how everything went smoothly. It didn't cost us
> anything except for the $345 lawyer's cost. I still talk to her about every
> other day. I talk to her openly about the pain that she's working through
> about the relinquishment. I call her when he does something cute. And now that
> he's 18mos., we will be deciding together what she would like him to call her
> (aunt Shelly, Shelly, etc.) until he is old enough to decide on his own.
>
> I would gladly do a movie about how things do work out the first time around
> for adoption. But alas, it wouldn't sell and no one would watch :( And most of
> society remains ignorant about the norms for adoption.
Unfortunately, things usually don't work out the first time around. Statistically
speaking (and I don't remember actual #s), the percentages of b-moms who make an
adoption plan, and then, those who actually go through with their adoption plan
is extremely low. We had two adoptions fall through before things worked out.
Our second one was a "Baby Jessica" type (b-mom wanted baby back after signing
_permanent_ custody over to the agency) and we ended up giving Maggie back
after 3 weeks (our choice - the agency calls it "emotional permission to
parent", and we didn't feel we had it). Our attorney in the case told us that,
on the average, a-parents have 3 disappointments before "things work out".
We were blessed with Olivia on the third time. You're extremely fortunate.
> Tera
> mos...@ccadmin.tech.nwu.edu
Kevin McCarty
Rita Freese <ri...@meaddata.com> wrote:
>
>Unfortunately, things usually don't work out the first time around.
>Statistically speaking (and I don't remember actual #s), the
>percentages of b-moms who make an adoption plan, and then, those who
>actually go through with their adoption plan is extremely low. We had
>two adoptions fall through before things worked out. Our second one was
>a "Baby Jessica" type (b-mom wanted baby back after signing _permanent_
>custody over to the agency) and we ended up giving Maggie back after
>3 weeks (our choice - the agency calls it "emotional permission to
>parent", and we didn't feel we had it). Our attorney in the case told
>us that, on the average, a-parents have 3 disappointments before
>"things work out". We were blessed with Olivia on the third time.
>You're extremely fortunate.
These statistics are stunning. I would suggest talking to other adoption
workers (attorneys, agencies, etc.) before accepting them. What counts
as a "disappointment"? Does this include change of mind before the birth
or afterwards?
One attorney we talked to quoted a rate of about 6%-10% of the
birthmothers they've worked with changing their minds at the hospital or
later (although this may be achieved by declining to work with b'mothers
who they feel are risky in this regard). An adoption facilitator we
worked with in southern California said their rate was even less than
that (attributable to the extensive counseling they provide). Of eight
adopting couples I'm personally acquainted with, three have have had
adoption arrangements collapse after the baby was born. (That is, 8 out
of 11 arrangements succeeded.)
--
Kevin McCarty (k...@netcom.com)
leannene...@gmail.com
Judge not lest ye be judged.
If you don't know the truth,,search for it,, ask for it,
I would hope all these yrs later you have became more wise and less judging, if not and you are interested in the truth, I no longer fear the truth and am a open book, feel free anytime to contact me at (helpstopab...@yahoo.com) if on fb search me at (Help Stop Abuse On Women) Twitter? @OurVioceHelps
You think you may know me, I assure you that you do not, but I know you, you are the woman who sees us cry but turns your head,, you are the officer who tells us not to complain,, you are the store clerk who sees the bruises but doesn't ask if we need help,, you are the doctor who also sees the signs but doesn't report, you are the attorney who knows what's going on but is in it to win it, you are the stranger we look to for help but you close your eyes.
You are our abuser, yet you never touched us,
Every time someone's makes a judgement without knowing the facts they become part of the problem.
Why not be part if the solution by opening your eyes, asking for truth, educating your selfs on abuse and how it effects it's victims and the choices they make,
Then ask yourself if there are those in the world who see a victim who has something they want, do they also play a role in abuse by not reporting what they see soley because to do so would burn their own bridge,
It goes far more deeper than you may ever conceive I assure you of that.
Don't make quick judgements based on one side of a situation . Ask fir the truth,
My name us Karen Leanne Hazlewood Dees I am 49 yrs old, I have gave birth to 11 children 6 were gave up for adoption, 3 are with me, 2are grown and have their families, Of the 6 given up I have found and have wonderful relationships with 3 I still search for the others , I spent 32 months in federal prison in Brynt Texas where I got my GED and took some phych classes ,, I own and admin a successful Domestic Violence Awarenees FB Page named *Help Stop Abuse On Women* ( a open page,anyone us welcome)
I recently bought my first home in Dec 2013 , I have cancer, I have nightmares , suffer from depression and PTSD , my mother killed herself in '83 my sister died in a car wreck in 98 my father died from lung cancer in 07
The abuse I suffered at the hands of my ex husband go much deeper than just bumps and bruises, to this day I still have issues directly related to his abuse.
Things that would make your hair stand up on back if your neck. Things that are real,,true,
This movie Baby Brokers? I'm sure it made lots if money, well so my ex husband who they call "Mr Holliywoid" in his home town he says,,rumor has it he made big bucks off the movie, Truth to the movie? Very little, that's why it made money ,
My story? The horrific truth , no one cares to hear the truth,, it doesnt pay as good as lies do, and it's harder to judge someone based in truth.
My name is Karen Leanne Haxlewood Dees and I am a Survivor of Domestic Violence
I love myself and my children, ALL if my children, I complied with my abuser because it hurt less, Today I remember, Today my abuser nor any other could stand a chance with me, I am strong, I am educated, the victim in me died long ago.
Today I educate victims of abuse , assist them in getting free . I listen, I never judge, I never want my judgment to be the reason a victim remains a victim.
Break the silence of domestic violence,, ask questions, don't judge,
I could have been your mother, your sister, your aunt or grandmother,or even your school teacher, Sunday school teacher and more,would you have been judgmental if I had been? victims come from all walks of life, most learn secrecy early on, to be silent saves your life in many cases
My name is Karen and I never stopped loving my children or desiring to know them.
Blessings,
Simba
I am a survivor of abuse by my adopted parents....who, BTW, passed their home study with a licensed agency and were approved to adopt two children.