half siblings being denied visitation rights by mother

[mememe2]

I haven't seen my 3 step sons in 5 years. Two of the boys are twins
and currently about to turn 10. The younger one being 8. I played a
major role in the lives of these children for 5 years. I was there for
their birth and was at one time their babysitter. To make a long story
short, I ended up marrying their father. The parents of the children
were never married and were basically seeing other people. Anyway, the
mother of the children was a little upset about my involvement with the
father. She eventually got over it, and actually made the comment, "if
they are going to have a step mom, I sure am glad its you. I know you
genuinely care for them."
Soon after my marriage to their father, I became pregnant. We all got
along pretty good for about 3 more years. But on Dec. 14, 2001, I
attacked the mother while she was dropping off the children at our
house. I know that sounds awful, but I had a strong reason. While she
was dropping the kids off, her and my husband began to argue. I was
spray painting a door in the garage, trying my best to stay out of
their argument. The mother was angry at my husband, and out of anger
she said to the children, "c'mon kids, lets go home, your daddy doesn't
love you anymore." I snapped. I blacked out. I thought that was
wrong for her to mentally abuse her own children because she was anger
with their father. So, I started to beat her with the spray paint can,
which resulted in her having to have staples put in her head. I later
apologized, and she accepted my apology, but informed me of her medical
bills and she wanted me to pay them. I did pay them.
Soon after that incident, I left my husband. We had been having
marital problems, and the problems had nothing to do with the children.
I seperated from him on Jan. 6, 2002. I filed for divorce from him on
Apr. 24,2002.
He continued to pick up the children on his designated weekends for
visitation. But he soon spiraled down hill so fast, getting involved
with drugs, and within a month after our seperation, he stopped
exercizing his right to visit, he stopped paying child support also.
Currently, he is incarcerated. Unfortunately, he is the link between
my son visiting his 3 half brothers who he still remembers. I have
made many attempts to try and get the children together, including
offering to have my mom drop my son off over at her house, so she
wouldn't ever have to deal with me. She refused. I took her to court
and had my son petition the courts, trying to grant him visitation
rights with his brothers, since the biological father is in prison and
is sentenced to 30 years. The courts ruled in her favor, reason being,
the father wasn't deceased. If he were dead, then my son would have
visitation rights. Its just not fair.
I miss the children so much, my heart hurts. I know I have no rights
as an "ex step mom". But I thought surely my son would.
The mother of the children married the man she had been cohabitating
with since 1999, in 2004. They do not have any children together. And
they obviously don't want anything to do with me or my son. I have
mailed her a school picture of my child each year in hopes she will
show his brothers.
I miss these kids so much, it has really disrupted my life, not being
able to be there for them like I was for 5 years. I have begged her to
just send me a picture of them, she won't reply. I don't know what
else to do, and giving up just isn't an option. If anyone has any
suggestions or advice, I really would appreciate hearing it. Thank
you for reading my story.