As a matter of fact, I am sure many recall the search on Bernice's group - the
case where a "nurse" named Janine Lay was pushed and encouraged by a
birthgrandmother named "Ginny" and Bernice and her moderators themselves to go
to the FL home where the "bgrandma's" minor grandchildren resided. The nurse
did do this and apparently, many problems came about because of this. "Grandma
Ginny" then joined a FL group and appealed again for someone else to go to the
home to approach her birth-grandchildren AGAIN even though problems evolved the
first time around when this occured. The adoptive mother was NOT happy and the
children because upset and confused.
UPDATE: I just found out that because of this specific case itself that state
of FL has decided they are giving out "too much" non-identifying information to
birthparents. At one time, birthparents in FL were able to find out the date
of actual relinquishment, the county and the name of the attorney
involved...well, thanks to Bernice's Group, "Grandma Ginny" and Ms. Lay, no
LONGER can a birthparent obtain this info.
I am glad that my search is over too! I feel very sorry for anyone who is
searching and feel as though this is only the tip of the iceberg. Thanks to
groups like "TheRe...@yahoogroups.com" (responsible for shutting down Sioux
City, IA records and setting back the CI system in that state) and Bernice's
groups, I'm afraid that soon, the whole US will be shutting down most of its
records which are currently public. We can soon say "Goodbye" to
marriage/divorce/death and DEFINITELY all birth records in the US in the near
future thanks to a huge lack of discretion on the internet.
As Lori pointed out earlier, even genealogists will be hurting. Very sad!
Who can ever forget the famous Janine Lay Stalking incident where the afamily's
names and info was palstered all over Bernice's Group. Then Janine posts how
God led her to stalk the amother and minor children. At that point I realized
that Carla was behind the scenes working with Bernice. Every time I attempted
to post how wrong stalking an afamily was my posts would go through. But Carla
would call me and tell me the contents of my posts and how they were being
moderated. That is what really motivated me to come here. I was heated at what
was done to me but stalking people is just plain sick and to have people
encourage it is even sicker. Jaine Lay was even planning on meeting the minors
at a mall behind the amomma's back. How sick and criminal is that?
Why is this pig still allowed to run an adoption registry? Weren't any
charges brought against her?? Feel free to send the email. I'd love to read
how proud they are of stalking a child.
The birthgrandma THEN joined a group called "FindingI...@yahoogroups.com"
and once again BEGGED someone to make a "return trip." When I and someone else
brought this to the attention of the group's owner and others on the group that
there were minor children involved in the search, we were BOOTED from the group
for "disrupting" it. On any group I've ever been on, anytime I've ever brought
someone's "attention" to the fact that something illegal is brewing, I've been
booted for it. People simply do NOT want to hear the truth. Then they sit
back, scratch their asses, and wonder why we are losing access to more and more
resources these days.....
Wendy;
It's all about "power" when it comes to Bernice. She has no brains in her
head. Her only thing in life is being the "queen of adoption search groups"
and her wish in life is to one day own her own domain name. Bernice's own
birthmother has been found and several people have spoken with her. The
birthmother specifically told them that she wished to "keep that chapter in her
life closed." Obviously, very painful for her. Meanwhile, Bernice claims it
"cannot possibly be my birthmother" and tells others that she is still
searching!!
Bernice's group encouraged people to "help this birthgrandmother" and sent a
total stranger to the adoptive home where several of her minor grandchildren
resided - never MIND the fact that the birthgrandma LIVES in FL herself and
wouldn't go over there!!! She made someone else do her "dirty work". Where
WAS she when he grandchildren were relinquished??????
Bernice's group is also responsible for shutting down NC's record access when
Bernice turned in a searcher (her own friend Mary) in that state. Names, lists
of "possibilities" etc.., are posted to that very group all the time. Not just
Bernice's group, but several others as well. This is why in some states, we
are losing record access - no discretion used on groups! Nobody believes in
private email anymore, it seems. Search angels send any/all information
without even speaking to the party whose search is directly involved. (Those
"I'm a friend helping my friend search.") I once had a gal write to me and say
"Can you find my friend's birthmother? She is getting married and I want to
surprise her by having her BIRTHMOTHER THERE!!!" I then asked her "What if the
birhmother is found deceased or doesn't WANT to come to the wedding???" How
would you like it if YOUR friend went behind your back without your permission
to search for your birthmother to 'surprise you?' What is some dingbat search
angel then GAVE your friend the information on your birthmother????
Hope you see my point!
From: "Janine" <jl...@tampabay.rr.com>
Date: Tue Sep 16, 2003 10:11 pm
Subject: HEY ALL--I WAS A SEARCH ANGEL FOR SOMEONE ELSE OUT OF STATE
AND I FOUND FOR HER
Hello, it's me, Janine Lay, birthmom iso son born 10/16/82 in Erie,
PA through Catholic Social Services. I am 39, single with no other
children, currently residing in St. Petersburg, FL.
I am so grateful for this group and our helping one another, and I
have to share this with you all. I volunteered to help a grandmother
of a child placed for adoption by this woman's daughter. The
grandma, "Gini" lives in GA and I live in FL. I live right near
Seminole, FL where Gini's grandson lives and I told her I would find
him for her. She wrote to me today with the address, full name (the
ammended one), the names of the Aparents, and their phone number. I
had all the info on his mom and family, DOB, place of birth, etc.
The boy, named Richard now, Mikey at birth, is 18. What happened was
there were four children that were all placed up for adoption by the
same woman, Gini's daughter. However, they were believed to be
separated and sent to different homes.
I don't know what came over me. I have been praying a lot lately,
trying to find my son and whatnot. I just got my nerve up and said
to myself, "What the heck----I'm going to just drive over to that
house and see if I can find him".
First, though, I called the house to see if I could catch him on the
phone. A young girl answered the phone and said he wasn't there,
could she take a message? I said, "No, I'm a friend of his, I'll
call later."
Then, I picked up my best friend for support, bought an instant
camera at Walgreen's for possible photos, got snacks, etc. (in case
of an unexpected stake-out!).
When I got to the house, no one was home, at least it looked like
it. I spoke to a neighbor across the street and asked about
Richard. She said, "I think he's away at college out of state".
Just then, a van pulled into the driveway----OH MY GOD----THE
ADOPTIVE MOM AND SOME LITTLE BOY!!! I freaked out, because I really
didn't want to run into her, just come face to face with the 18 yr.
old man in question.
My friend Gladys said, "Go ahead, just walk up to her---and give her
the letter! I'll go with you."
So, I did. I walked right up to her, thinking of Gini and how far
away she was and how long she'd been searching, and for all of us
mothers searching for our children----on behalf of all of us, I
walked right up to her.
I said, "Excuse me, are you Sheila Haverty"? She said, "Yes, and YOU
ARE"? Then, I became a blubbering fool, but not so bad.
I said, "Hi. My name is Janine and I am a registered nurse living
here in St. Petersburg. I am part of a large support group thats
each other find missing family members. I am acting as a mediary
for.....", then I stopped. Her little 12 yr old son was standing
there....I said,"Do you want me to say this in front of him? I am
here to talk about your son," Then the little one blurted out, "I'M
HER SON, DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME?" All excited.
I said, "No honey, actually, it's about Richard," and Sheila, the
Amom, said, "yes, WE'RE his family". The little one
said, "Richard?" Sheila said, "Rick", now, Matt, go in the house.
I said, "Actually, I'm here to speak of his other family, his real
family, the birthfamily, you know, before he was adopted?" Then she
started getting mad. I told her his grandmother wants to contact
him, she has been searching for him a long time. I am here to help
that happen.
She got angry and said, "You just walk up to someone right on the
street in front of their house and do this? Couldn't you have called
first? I mean, our number IS LISTED IN THE BOOK!" I told her, I did
call first. But, I wanted to make sure I wasn't intercepted or given
the run around. I asked her, "Your son DOES know he's adopted,
doesn't he?"
She said, "Yes, he's known all his life. I told him, when he's 18 if
he wants to find his family he is welcome to and I will welcome that
reunion with open arms". I said, "Well, it doesn't seem you're too
open right now. This isn't his birthmother, it's his grandmother.
And she lives in Georgia!" (Like, I don't know why I was trying to
lighten the threat to her, or whatever)
I apologized for being "so blunt and to the point by just barging in
on her life, and I added, "Can you please make sure this letter, from
his grandmother, gets to him?" It's very important.
I then stuck it in her hand! She said yes, and then told me "I think
the way you did this was VERY INAPPROPRIATE and it could've been
handled a different way."
I then drove away.
I was very angry at her and upset that she had such an
attitude....being that I am a birthmom and that is typically the kind
of reaction I know I am going to get, if I am interceded by the Amom.
I got home, immediately called Gini in GA. She was ecstatic. I
never heard so much excitement! She was crying. I told her, step by
step every detail. What the house looked like, the Amom, the little
boy. Gini got quiet. She said, "I just can't help thinking....did
you say blonde hair, and he was around 12 yrs. old?"
I said yeah. I think it was her son, though. She is blond, the kid
is blond. Didn't you say your grandson has dark brown hair? She
said, "Yeah, but I had asked the social worker back then, since they
were all placed at the same time, Karen, aged 17, Jennifer, aged 15,
and Vincent, aged 13---along with Richard or (Mikey), could she send
two of them together, if possible?"
Well, she never heard back from her. That was years ago.
Brace yourself girls.
In the middle of my phone call to Gini, a call beeps through.
Normally, I don't answer them, but this one I took. It was a young
girl. She said, "Is this Janine? My name is Krista Haverty. You
wrote a letter for Richard Haverty? Well, I just read the letter and
wanted to call you." I got so scared and thought I was in trouble
with the family and stuff. I said, "Yes, I was at the house today to
give him a letter from his grandmother. How did you get that letter?
It was supposed to be for Richard only!"
She said, "I found it here on the counter, opened, so I read it. I
was reading all about myself----I said, what? You gotta be kidding
me, right?"
I said to Krista, "What are you talking about?"
She said, "I'm his sister."
I said, "You mean his adoptive sibling?"
"No, I AM HIS REAL SISTER, KAREN. SHEILA RENAMED ME, KARIN. All
four of us are here in the same family, we got sent here together!"
I about had a heart attack! Richard, (Mikey), Krista (Karen), and
the little one whom I had met today, Matt (Vincent) were all adopted
into the same family and I found them all! Except Jennifer, who is
still in Miami.
She is scared and wants to talk with me, first. She is excited to
talk with her grandmother and is happy she found the letter like
that. Her mom wasn't home. She told me she didn't know about it,
and could I please not say anything?
I said, "Hey honey, that's between you, your grandmother, and your
adopted mom. I am just so glad you all can finally know one another.
Is it o.k. if I call Gini back and tell her it's you?"
She said yes.
Just then the Amom walked in the door. Krista said, "I have to go,
she just got home. I am going to go have a talk with her about this.
Is it o.k. if I call you tomorrow?"
I said, yes. I just told her, "Keep your heart open and you will do
the right thing. I am just so happy I could help you find one
another."
She promised to give the letter to her brother tomorrow in school.
Apparently he is still in high school. Sheila is upset because of
family problems right now and Richard just moved out of the house.
That's why she was upset with me.
Whew! Some day, eh? Of course I called Gini back and she is sooooo
full of joy. She said she wished she could send me a million
dollars. She wants to give me a big hug! I just told her, it's
enough payment for me to know I helped bring you your family back
together. She wished someday she could help me find my son.
Tomorrow, the 17 year old, Krista, is going to call me. Per Gini, I
am to get a phone number, where, hopefully, all 3 can be near a
phone, and Gini wants to call her grandkids, for the first time in
16yrs......and tell them she loves them. Also, I am going to ask
them to meet me somewhere they're comfortable, and take some pics of
them to send to grandma in Georgia!
Wish us all luck!
Yee HAW! I know I haven't found my son, but it feels like it because
I made it happen with someone else. This is very, very healing and
comforting. And just think, she found a 18, 17, and 12 yr. old---
they are all so young!
Thanks to Sheila, too, for telling them all they were adopted, their
life stories and real birth names, and that they were o.k. to find
their mom someday if they wanted.
God bless her!
Janine
Hmm.....
Totally inappropriate. And I like the part about her thinking the adoptive
mother had an attitude. What an ass. She should consider herself lucky. If
that had been me she had confronted on my own property I would have kicked
her ass then had her arrested for trespassing. I understand all the feelings
of desperation (maybe that's not the right word, I apologize to any bparents
if it's the wrong word) bparents or bgrandparents must feel. But, if you
have 2 or more children that were adopted, you should wait until the
youngest one is of age. Period.
And this idiot was proud of herself? For staking out a home and then
confronting this woman while her child was there? Definately a no-no. She
had the choice to change her mind when she saw the kid with her. It all
sounds like a big fuck-up to me.
Well, thanks to Janine, and Bernice Carpenter's group, the state of FL has now
decided that they sent birthparents 'too much' non-identifying information.
You know, I've warned various groups about information posted on their sites
only to get booted or slammed for "disrupting" the group itself. Now, this is
the kind of thing that shuts down/seals record access in many states, as it did
in FL.
This was NOT the end either, Wendy. Apparently "Grandma Gini" got some other
clueless fool to go BACK to the home a second time. That's apparently when the
adoptive mother got really upset!
I believe that Donna Marie was ON Bernice's group at the time this happened.
When she pointed out the fact that she didn't believe it was legal and that
perhaps it shouldn't be pursued, she was ousted from Bernice's group. Correct
me if I am wrong, DM.
Wendy,
I guess Luanne beat me to it and posted it. That incident was thereason I was
booted off Bernice's group. I spoke my mind and told thm that not only was it
a sick thing to do ,it hurt people and it was illegal. They didn't like that I
didn't cheer Janine on so they moderated my posts and discussed them amongst
themselves. Carla would call me and report what they were doing as she was in
on it.
The Real Debbie Hill
Thank you Lori. I am glad someone remebers what triggered my anger enough to
come here and vent and warn people about the evils of Bernice Carpenter. In
case Wndy don't know the whole story I will try to make it brief. I was one
who never really had a dire need to search for bfamily but as I got older the
need for medical info was became an issue. In June of 2003 I was faced with
some medical problems which could have meant lots of sugery and testing. At
the time I was the primary care taker of an elderly mother with full blown
alzhiemers who I took care of at home and my family was in crisis over her
illness. A heartbreaking time for all. I really didn't want to have more
surgery as I am a 3 time cancer survivor and I was really needed at home. My
doctor suggested medical history because sometimes what I had could very well
have been genetic and treated in a different way. I decided to come online and
register on the MA registry. I was auto subbed to Bernices group and offered
free help. When they found out that a reunion/relationsip was not my number
one priority they refused to help me. In all fairness with the fragilty of my
family any kind or reunion would have been impossible and unfair. I need to
address my health issues first. I never ruled out a reunion, it just wasn't a
priority. At the same time as Lori said the stalking incident occured and I
became livid. The rest is history. Oh and I was befreinded by Carla McBrine
who would troll the registries and have Bernice auto sub newbies. That is a
whole different story.
I don't blame her for being upset. Once was bad enough, but to do it again?
Just because a 17 yr old girl stumbled upon the letter and called, doesn't
mean it should be pursued. Christ it was only a matter of months until the
girl was of age. It's no wonder the states are cracking down on the info
they give out. I feel bad for the adoptees searching in 5 yrs or so, when
they can't get any info at all.
BTW, your friend Bernice must still be reading these boards. She emailed me
last night.
Bernice doesn't MISS these boards...she lives for 'em. Ask Jules.
What did she say in her email? Enquiring minds want to know. LOL
Interesting. They didn't want to help you if you didn't want a reunion? Why?
Because it would look better for them to have reunited you? Doesn't make any
sense. A find is a find, right? Weird people. Sounds like you were better
off not having them help you. Especially if they promote stalking.
Hello Wendy,
I just wanted you to know that what they are saying about my old group
that they stole is not completely true at all. Now what they are talking
about was a completely private thing at the time. I can assure you that
NO MINOR searches were allowed to be posted when they were caught trying
to post them. At the time this happened there were 3 search angel that
were involved in that search and I was not one of them. In fact I asked
the ones involved if they were going to do this that they needed to take
in off the group. I will also tell you that one of the searchers was in
fact Luanne herself. She was helping 2 other searchers in this search
which was a Babbs and a Pam. Which are no longer on my group at all.
This was a setup on the group to try to bring it down then, just because
I would not let Luanne on the group to solicit. I have been getting
these post sent to me. I am not one bit upset. I have my husband`s
health that I have been dealing with and own no groups. I am an adoptee
myself that wishes I never heard the words adoption. This whole thing
has made searching a disgrace to be honest with you. No I have not found
and really having my doubts if I ever want to after the way Lu and gang
have done.
I just wanted you to know the true about this that DM is saying. I know
first hand how she works and have emails in private from her to me
trying to suck up.
Thanks for Listening
Bernice ( Not the person they Put me out to Be either, I am one that
cares for Others)
>
>
Wendy,
When I was auo subbed I really thopugh ALIA (Bernice's Group) was a non profit
org and I was ready to make a donation. I had my checkbook ready when I met
Carla McBrine I was giving them $400.00. Then I realized it was nothing but a
free useless Yahoo group. Prior to searching I wasn't into the internet. I had
computers and access but they were just tax write offs and I knew little about
them much less Yahoo groups. I found on my own with no ones help. A very kind
social worker who sent my non id practically told me and left enough evidence
for me to know. I own nothing to anybody and the money I was sending to the
organization that helped me find went to Feed The Children's ABC Abandoned
Baby Center insted of some bogus Yahoo goup.
Bernice is a LIAR...there WAS a minor search on her group, you read the post
yourself, Wendy.
>At the time this happened there were 3 search angel that
>were involved in that search
Yes, and the ALL encouraged this nurse to go to the home of the minor
grandkids!! Bernice herself condoned this.
>I will also tell you that one of the searchers was in
>fact Luanne herself.
I was NOT involved. I have nothing to do with minor searches, I never have,
and I never will. She always lies, this Bernice..always.
>I would not let Luanne on the group to solicit. I
Wendy, I have never ever solicited anyone in my life. NEVER. Anybody who knows
me knows this well. I think Carla said it once...the "lies just flow out of
her mouth so freely, it's as if she believes them herself." Also, I am no
longer taking on any searches as I am currently working part-time away from
home. I don't think I will ever go back to doing searches again.
> I have my husband`s
>health that I have been dealing with and own no groups
More lies. She just sent someone an invite only last week. She owns a ton of
adoption-related groups.
>No I have not found
>and really having my doubts
Yes, she HAS found. The woman stated she was Bernice's birthmother and wished
to keep that "chapter of her life closed." Bernice has a difficult time
dealing with reality.
>I just wanted you to know the true about this that DM is saying. I know
>first hand how she works and have emails in private from her to me
>trying to suck up.
>
DM doesn't suck up to ANYONE and has nothing for Bernice but dislike and
contempt.
> ( Not the person they Put me out to Be either, I am one that
>cares for Others)
You ARE everything we make you out to be and then some. Your track record
speaks for itself, Big Bern!! Ask Cheryl, Barb, myself, Terry, or almost
anyone. They know Bernice.
Jules, did the white collar crime unit come knocking on your door?
--------------------------------------
Subj: Re: Some legal counsel
Date: 11/18/2004 11:32:36 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: berni...@webtv.net
Sent from the Internet (Details)
Hello,
I live in West Virginia and have been on the phone all afternoon
speaking with the WhiteCollarCrime Unit with the FBI. Now I am waiting
for an agent to contact me back over this as well.
Now the message that this Luanne left she was very aware that it was
recorded. She had called this friend and the friend was not home at the
time so Luanne did in fact leave the message knowing it was being
recorded. Only bad thing there is my friend`s grandson erased this
message when we needed it.
Now on the hacking, YES MSN has record of this and is willing to release
the file to any lawyer or law enforcement officer. And yes my husband`s
doctor`s will provide a statement that this was in fact the cause of his
heart attack. The stress from the harrassment was the cause of this
happening.
This Jules Hamina was once a moderator on the group before it was
deleted Dec 7 2003 by her and her friend Luanne Pruesne. You have seen
I am sure that Luanne and Jules openly admitted to doing the adoption
community a favor by doing this. And Luanne is the main leader
in this and Jules is second in command. Now I had removed Jules as a
moderator of the group because she actually cussed me out on instant
messenger for me not wanting anything to do with Luanne. I have had
nothing but problems since.
Now the location Jules is now in is Kentucky. I do not know where she
moved to in Kentucky though. All I know is she moved there from Arkansas
a few months ago and I do have her address where she lives while in
Arkansas so that may be able to help track her by finding a forwarding
address from there. And Luanne is in Bushnell, Florida a of last year.
Both of these women move quite a bit for some strange reason.
Let me know something here and I will let you know when I hear back from
the FBI about this as well.
Now I can ell you that they also told me to contact Florida`s police
about Luanne and Kentucky about Julie. I will be making calls tomorrow
to them as well.
Thanks
Bernice
This is true. In fact I would send out a post and 10 minutes later Carla would
call me and read the post to me saying that it wasn't going through.
Apparently they were all scared of the truth. Luanne had nothing to do with
that search or any search while I was on Bernice's group. She was considered
the "enemy" as were all paid professional searcher. Bernice was so jeaous of
Luanne that is all she couls talk about. If Bernice woke up with an ass ache
it was somehow Luanne's fault.
At the time, DM was not sure what she wanted out of the reunion but she
definitely needed medical history! She was brand new to search and basically
was told by Bernice's group that there was "something wrong with her" if she
didn't want to have a "happy reunion" with her birthmother and extended family.
DM kept saying she was new to search, didn't know where to start, didn't know
what she really wanted out of a reunion thus far except that she knew she
needed medical history because of a battery of tests she was undergoing at the
doctor. They basically told her she was "nuts" for not wanting to have a big
fat happy reunion.
Not everybody wants that - some people just desire medical history and
CLOSURE!! Look at Bernice - she is in total denial that her birthmother was
even contacted. She refused to speak with the woman herself because she was
afraid to when the bmom told others that she had no desire to take a trip down
Memory Lane as far as Bernice went. Apparently Bernice feels her "Bmama
wouldn't do that" so refuses to accept that it was indeed her. Weird how some
people are....
Jesus that's alot of money. It's better off going to the kids than that
useless group. Can you imagine how you would have felt giving them the money
and THEN finding all this shit out? I'm sure heads would roll. LOL
Yes, I did.
>>I will also tell you that one of the searchers was in
>>fact Luanne herself.
> I was NOT involved. I have nothing to do with minor searches, I never
> have,
> and I never will. She always lies, this Bernice..always.
I believe you.
>>I would not let Luanne on the group to solicit. I
> Wendy, I have never ever solicited anyone in my life. NEVER. I don't
> think I will ever go back to doing searches again.
I know you haven't. And it's a shame it came to that.
> More lies. She just sent someone an invite only last week. She owns a ton
> of adoption-related groups.
I believe this also.
> DM doesn't suck up to ANYONE
I can't imagine DM sucking up to Bernice. LOL
Apparently, she is STILL obsessed with me. I got a bunch of email forwarded to
me from some lawyer who thinks Bernice is absolutely pathetic!!
There are other organizations that are FAR more deserving than any of these
stupid online Yahoo groups like Bernice's. I am sending money to the
non-profit group we got Paige from for Christmas. They rescue hundreds of dogs
every year.
A couple of years back, Bernice got her electricity shut off in the winter
time. One of her friends sent her money for a generator and the first thing
Bernice did was wrap herself in blankets and log into her web-tv. She NEVER
paid back the money to the kind and generous person (Terry) who loaned it to
her, still owing her to this very day. Nevermind the fact that Terry is
disabled herself and lives on a fixed income. Bernice HAD to get on her
web-tv...that was more important than turning on the heat in her home even.
Medical history is the most important reason to find. Reunion comes second.
That's why I searched for my mothers bfather. I wanted to make sure there
wasn't anything strange medically that I needed to know for my kids.
As for Bernices bmother. That's just weird. Why put all your energy into
searching for a figment of your imagination if the real deal is right there?
Strange.
Huh? My husband and I own our own home. We bought in in December of 2001 and
have lived here since then. I don't intend to go anyplace anytime soon. She
thinks I move a lot? Well, we lived in a tiny house for a year when I first
moved down to FL from CA to be with my husband in 2000. We still own that other
house too. Steve and I got married in November 2001. We have a nice house on
five acres with a creek here in FL. Although we talk of moving to TN one day,
I don't think we will be moving anytime soon LOL! Jules moves a bit but that
is because of her husband's job which she has stated herself many times.
You gotta have priorities, right? LOL
>
>
>So, you and Jules are some kind of crime syndicate that is so strong only
>the FBI and the White Collar Crime Unit could bring you down????? LMFAO!
>Jules and Luanne: The Adoption Mafia
I know, Wendy...the mentality of that woman is just unbelieveable. Bernice
seems to believe her own lies. She won't post here anymore because nobody else
will stand up and defend her lying ass here, yet she is an avid reader of alt.
She never misses it.
You left out the BEST part...Ruthie went to meet her gay son who is in prison
serving a life term. The whole group and some other group chipped in to send
Ruthie and her husband to go visit the son in prison. Ruthie is a birthmom to
eight kids and apparently, she doesn't have a good relationship with the
majority of them, blaming the "adoption system" and their aparents for that.
Nevermind the fact that Ruthie lost most of her kids because she was a drunk
and some of her old boyfriends/husbands were molesting them - THAT had nothing
to do with them being screwed up at all!!!
Let's not forget she has reported us to Homeland Security. I wonder if Clolin
Powell will call me or someone from the whitehouse.
Donna Gray, you too were reported to Homeland Security by Bernice. Have they
contact YOU yet? LOLOL
I forgot about that...yeah, she gave her the TV to go with the generator. Oh,
she helped pay Bernice's electric bill too so that she could get back online
without use of the generator. Yep, the priorities in people's lives simply
amaze me.
Oh I see, so you're also adoption terrorists? I'll watch for your arrest on
CNN.
>Apparently "Grandma Gini" got some other
>clueless fool to go BACK to the home a second time. That's apparently when
>the
>adoptive mother got really upset!
>
She hasn't missed a word on this ng in years.
Maybe because Carla wasn't going to be able to call my birthfamily and make an
announcement. Boy am I ever glad no one helped me from hat group. My birth
family would have been terrorized.
AMEN!!
That's right. Nobody stole anything from her. The name came available and we
took it, plain and simple.
It takes BALLS to confront the woman who gave birth to you that now "rejects"
you. I know, I did it myself. Bernice has no guts. She will NEVER confront
the woman and will continue to tell people that she is still looking for her
birthmother even though she knows in her heart, that she was found and denied
her contact. Never ever will Bernice admit to this. Enough people spoke to
her, including Pam, Mary and several others.
She's still looking for her Harry Johnson though....LOLOL
I've been poor too but never so poor I had to go down and take from the
severely needy at the local food bank. What amazes me is how "dirt poor" she
supposedly is yet she has money for cigarettes and a cell phone...never ceases
to amaze me. Gary too, with his ill health, still puffs away.
>When you are an able bodied person but you refuse to go to work to provide
>for
>yourself and your family.......something is wrong.
What will happen if she loses Gary? She won't get his Social Security until
she is 67 - the law is changing. She will either have to go to work or have her
Walmart son support her fat lazy ass.
I forgot - YOU were on her group then too. Didn't she do something to piss you
off? I can't recall....I mean, didn't you and she have some sort of
disagreement and she lied again, like always.....
I should post those Firings of her Moderator Conversations again for some REAL
"misty-water-colored memories." Then Wendy can see the REAL Bernice in
action....
We can hide up in the good ole' U.P. of Michigan...she'll get her "little
pretties" up there LOLOL!
I've lived here in Bushnell for 3 years. Maybe Bernice thinks it is time for
me to move?
iminb...@hotmail.com (wendy)
Hello Wendy,
I just wanted you to know that what they are saying about my old group
that they stole is not completely true at all. Now what they are talking
about was a completely private thing at the time. I can assure you that
NO MINOR searches were allowed to be posted when they were caught trying
to post them. At the time this happened there were 3 search angel that
were involved in that search and I was not one of them. In fact I asked
the ones involved if they were going to do this that they needed to take
in off the group. I will also tell you that one of the searchers was in
fact Luanne herself. She was helping 2 other searchers in this search
which was a Babbs and a Pam. Which are no longer on my group at all.
This was a setup on the group to try to bring it down then, just because
I would not let Luanne on the group to solicit. I have been getting
these post sent to me. I am not one bit upset. I have my husband`s
health that I have been dealing with and own no groups. I am an adoptee
myself that wishes I never heard the words adoption. This whole thing
has made searching a disgrace to be honest with you. No I have not found
and really having my doubts if I ever want to after the way Lu and gang
have done.
I just wanted you to know the true about this that DM is saying. I know
first hand how she works and have emails in private from her to me
trying to suck up.
Thanks for Listening
Bernice ( Not the person they Put me out to Be either, I am one that
cares for Others)
Donna Gray, you too were reported to Homeland Security by Bernice. Have
they contact YOU yet? LOLOL
Well, Lu, GWB called me, but I refused to speak with him, as he's an
asshole. He said that he would have Colin Powell call, but now that
HE'S resigned, I have no idea who'll call next...roflmfao!!!
Uncle Don? (Rumsfeld)
Warm regards and hugs,
Sheri
"LuanneP" <lua...@aol.comatose> wrote in message
news:20041210201543...@mb-m01.aol.com...
> >I am no longer searching for birthfamily. With all these shutting down
> >and
>>sealing up of records no telling how hard it would be to find these days.
>>Well you can thank people like Bernice Carpenter and her boootleg, bogus,
>>free
>
> As a matter of fact, I am sure many recall the search on Bernice's group -
> the
> case where a "nurse" named Janine Lay was pushed and encouraged by a
> birthgrandmother named "Ginny" and Bernice and her moderators themselves
> to go
> to the FL home where the "bgrandma's" minor grandchildren resided. The
> nurse
> did do this and apparently, many problems came about because of this.
> "Grandma
> Ginny" then joined a FL group and appealed again for someone else to go to
> the
> home to approach her birth-grandchildren AGAIN even though problems
> evolved the
> first time around when this occured. The adoptive mother was NOT happy
> and the
> children because upset and confused.
>
> UPDATE: I just found out that because of this specific case itself that
> state
> of FL has decided they are giving out "too much" non-identifying
> information to
> birthparents. At one time, birthparents in FL were able to find out the
> date
> of actual relinquishment, the county and the name of the attorney
> involved...well, thanks to Bernice's Group, "Grandma Ginny" and Ms. Lay,
> no
> LONGER can a birthparent obtain this info.
>
> I am glad that my search is over too! I feel very sorry for anyone who is
> searching and feel as though this is only the tip of the iceberg. Thanks
> to
> groups like "TheRe...@yahoogroups.com" (responsible for shutting down
> Sioux
> City, IA records and setting back the CI system in that state) and
> Bernice's
> groups, I'm afraid that soon, the whole US will be shutting down most of
> its
> records which are currently public. We can soon say "Goodbye" to
> marriage/divorce/death and DEFINITELY all birth records in the US in the
> near
> future thanks to a huge lack of discretion on the internet.
>
> As Lori pointed out earlier, even genealogists will be hurting. Very sad!
>
>
>
>
"LuanneP" <lua...@aol.comatose> wrote in message
news:20041211074836...@mb-m26.aol.com...
> Here is the VERY email which was posted on this group September 17, 2003
> regarding the minor search:
>
> From: "Janine" <jl...@tampabay.rr.com>
> Date: Tue Sep 16, 2003 10:11 pm
> Subject: HEY ALL--I WAS A SEARCH ANGEL FOR SOMEONE ELSE OUT OF STATE
> AND I FOUND FOR HER
>
>
>
> Hello, it's me, Janine Lay, birthmom iso son born 10/16/82 in Erie,
> PA through Catholic Social Services. I am 39, single with no other
> children, currently residing in St. Petersburg, FL.
>
> I am so grateful for this group and our helping one another, and I
> have to share this with you all. I volunteered to help a grandmother
> of a child placed for adoption by this woman's daughter. The
> grandma, "Gini" lives in GA and I live in FL. I live right near
> Seminole, FL where Gini's grandson lives and I told her I would find
> him for her. She wrote to me today with the address, full name (the
> ammended one), the names of the Aparents, and their phone number. I
> had all the info on his mom and family, DOB, place of birth, etc.
>
> The boy, named Richard now, Mikey at birth, is 18. What happened was
> there were four children that were all placed up for adoption by the
> same woman, Gini's daughter. However, they were believed to be
> separated and sent to different homes.
>
> I don't know what came over me. I have been praying a lot lately,
> trying to find my son and whatnot. I just got my nerve up and said
> to myself, "What the heck----I'm going to just drive over to that
> house and see if I can find him".
>
> First, though, I called the house to see if I could catch him on the
> phone. A young girl answered the phone and said he wasn't there,
> could she take a message? I said, "No, I'm a friend of his, I'll
> call later."
>
> Then, I picked up my best friend for support, bought an instant
> camera at Walgreen's for possible photos, got snacks, etc. (in case
> of an unexpected stake-out!).
>
> When I got to the house, no one was home, at least it looked like
> it. I spoke to a neighbor across the street and asked about
> Richard. She said, "I think he's away at college out of state".
>
> Just then, a van pulled into the driveway----OH MY GOD----THE
> ADOPTIVE MOM AND SOME LITTLE BOY!!! I freaked out, because I really
> didn't want to run into her, just come face to face with the 18 yr.
> old man in question.
>
> My friend Gladys said, "Go ahead, just walk up to her---and give her
> the letter! I'll go with you."
>
> So, I did. I walked right up to her, thinking of Gini and how far
> away she was and how long she'd been searching, and for all of us
> mothers searching for our children----on behalf of all of us, I
> walked right up to her.
>
> I said, "Excuse me, are you Sheila Haverty"? She said, "Yes, and YOU
> ARE"? Then, I became a blubbering fool, but not so bad.
>
> I said, "Hi. My name is Janine and I am a registered nurse living
> here in St. Petersburg. I am part of a large support group thats
> each other find missing family members. I am acting as a mediary
> for.....", then I stopped. Her little 12 yr old son was standing
> there....I said,"Do you want me to say this in front of him? I am
> here to talk about your son," Then the little one blurted out, "I'M
> HER SON, DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME?" All excited.
>
> I said, "No honey, actually, it's about Richard," and Sheila, the
> Amom, said, "yes, WE'RE his family". The little one
> said, "Richard?" Sheila said, "Rick", now, Matt, go in the house.
>
> I said, "Actually, I'm here to speak of his other family, his real
> family, the birthfamily, you know, before he was adopted?" Then she
> started getting mad. I told her his grandmother wants to contact
> him, she has been searching for him a long time. I am here to help
> that happen.
>
> She got angry and said, "You just walk up to someone right on the
> street in front of their house and do this? Couldn't you have called
> first? I mean, our number IS LISTED IN THE BOOK!" I told her, I did
> call first. But, I wanted to make sure I wasn't intercepted or given
> the run around. I asked her, "Your son DOES know he's adopted,
> doesn't he?"
>
> She said, "Yes, he's known all his life. I told him, when he's 18 if
> he wants to find his family he is welcome to and I will welcome that
> reunion with open arms". I said, "Well, it doesn't seem you're too
> open right now. This isn't his birthmother, it's his grandmother.
> And she lives in Georgia!" (Like, I don't know why I was trying to
> lighten the threat to her, or whatever)
>
> I apologized for being "so blunt and to the point by just barging in
> on her life, and I added, "Can you please make sure this letter, from
> his grandmother, gets to him?" It's very important.
>
> I then stuck it in her hand! She said yes, and then told me "I think
> the way you did this was VERY INAPPROPRIATE and it could've been
> handled a different way."
>
> I then drove away.
>
> I was very angry at her and upset that she had such an
> attitude....being that I am a birthmom and that is typically the kind
> of reaction I know I am going to get, if I am interceded by the Amom.
>
> I got home, immediately called Gini in GA. She was ecstatic. I
> never heard so much excitement! She was crying. I told her, step by
> step every detail. What the house looked like, the Amom, the little
> boy. Gini got quiet. She said, "I just can't help thinking....did
> you say blonde hair, and he was around 12 yrs. old?"
>
> I said yeah. I think it was her son, though. She is blond, the kid
> is blond. Didn't you say your grandson has dark brown hair? She
> said, "Yeah, but I had asked the social worker back then, since they
> were all placed at the same time, Karen, aged 17, Jennifer, aged 15,
> and Vincent, aged 13---along with Richard or (Mikey), could she send
> two of them together, if possible?"
>
> Well, she never heard back from her. That was years ago.
>
> Brace yourself girls.
>
> In the middle of my phone call to Gini, a call beeps through.
> Normally, I don't answer them, but this one I took. It was a young
> girl. She said, "Is this Janine? My name is Krista Haverty. You
> wrote a letter for Richard Haverty? Well, I just read the letter and
> wanted to call you." I got so scared and thought I was in trouble
> with the family and stuff. I said, "Yes, I was at the house today to
> give him a letter from his grandmother. How did you get that letter?
> It was supposed to be for Richard only!"
>
> She said, "I found it here on the counter, opened, so I read it. I
> was reading all about myself----I said, what? You gotta be kidding
> me, right?"
>
> I said to Krista, "What are you talking about?"
>
> She said, "I'm his sister."
> I said, "You mean his adoptive sibling?"
> "No, I AM HIS REAL SISTER, KAREN. SHEILA RENAMED ME, KARIN. All
> four of us are here in the same family, we got sent here together!"
>
> I about had a heart attack! Richard, (Mikey), Krista (Karen), and
> the little one whom I had met today, Matt (Vincent) were all adopted
> into the same family and I found them all! Except Jennifer, who is
> still in Miami.
>
> She is scared and wants to talk with me, first. She is excited to
> talk with her grandmother and is happy she found the letter like
> that. Her mom wasn't home. She told me she didn't know about it,
> and could I please not say anything?
>
> I said, "Hey honey, that's between you, your grandmother, and your
> adopted mom. I am just so glad you all can finally know one another.
> Is it o.k. if I call Gini back and tell her it's you?"
> She said yes.
>
> Just then the Amom walked in the door. Krista said, "I have to go,
> she just got home. I am going to go have a talk with her about this.
> Is it o.k. if I call you tomorrow?"
>
> I said, yes. I just told her, "Keep your heart open and you will do
> the right thing. I am just so happy I could help you find one
> another."
>
> She promised to give the letter to her brother tomorrow in school.
> Apparently he is still in high school. Sheila is upset because of
> family problems right now and Richard just moved out of the house.
> That's why she was upset with me.
>
> Whew! Some day, eh? Of course I called Gini back and she is sooooo
> full of joy. She said she wished she could send me a million
> dollars. She wants to give me a big hug! I just told her, it's
> enough payment for me to know I helped bring you your family back
> together. She wished someday she could help me find my son.
>
> Tomorrow, the 17 year old, Krista, is going to call me. Per Gini, I
> am to get a phone number, where, hopefully, all 3 can be near a
> phone, and Gini wants to call her grandkids, for the first time in
> 16yrs......and tell them she loves them. Also, I am going to ask
> them to meet me somewhere they're comfortable, and take some pics of
> them to send to grandma in Georgia!
>
> Wish us all luck!
>
> Yee HAW! I know I haven't found my son, but it feels like it because
> I made it happen with someone else. This is very, very healing and
> comforting. And just think, she found a 18, 17, and 12 yr. old---
> they are all so young!
>
> Thanks to Sheila, too, for telling them all they were adopted, their
> life stories and real birth names, and that they were o.k. to find
> their mom someday if they wanted.
>
> God bless her!
>
> Janine
>
>
>
>
"LuanneP" <lua...@aol.comatose> wrote in message
news:20041211123703...@mb-m26.aol.com...
> >Hmm.....
>>Totally inappropriate. And I like the part about her thinking the adoptive
>>mother had an attitude. What an ass.
>
> Well, thanks to Janine, and Bernice Carpenter's group, the state of FL has
> now
> decided that they sent birthparents 'too much' non-identifying
> information.
> You know, I've warned various groups about information posted on their
> sites
> only to get booted or slammed for "disrupting" the group itself. Now,
> this is
> the kind of thing that shuts down/seals record access in many states, as
> it did
> in FL.
>
> This was NOT the end either, Wendy. Apparently "Grandma Gini" got some
Oh Puke!!
What A LIAR.. I was on the group when this happened, this search was flaunted
on her group.. Hell, she approves the post when they go through!! She knew
what was going on.. not only untill the shit hit the fan did she change her
tune.
Bernice, Luanne would never work on a minor search, you are out of your fucking
mind!!
Barb
Uncle Don? (Rumsfeld)
Ya just never know with Bernice at the helm!!!!!!
Sheri,
Lets not forget that for weeks that amother's name and information was
palstered on Bernices groups and several others all over the internet as well
as being harrassed by Carla claiming to be an attorney. Then people wonder why
records are sealed up.
I got a better idea. How about we all hide out on my boat on the high seas. we
can cruise all over the place and hide.
Well cCo0ndoleza Rice just asked me over her house for Christmas to discuss
Bernice's free Yahoo groups. but I had to decline due to prior commitments. I
told her I will consider New Years eve.
Bernice is lethal poison to the entire www.
I wish both of her webtvs would fry along with her telephone connection. Life
would be so wonderful.
Hey, I think I have seen a Hairy Johnson or two!! LOLOL
>the woman and will continue to tell people that she is still looking for her
>birthmother even though she knows in her heart, that she was found and denied
>her contac
No thanks, too freakin' cold in Michigan for me!! I go up there in the summer
or not at all.
Hubby said we are spending next Christmas up there (we'll see) We are going to
Florida this Christmas.
"Donna in NC" <Donn...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:25457-41B...@storefull-3334.bay.webtv.net...
Guido...lol
Sheri - It's old news actually. This is what Bernice's group actually condoned
over a year ago. It's now also the reason that FL has tightened their stance
on non-id to birthparents - because of that particular case.
Thanks Bernice for hurting yet another state records-wise. Keep on turning in
searchers and condoning minor searches...this is what happens.
She believes her own lies, Barb. Pam and Babbs never worked on a minor search
either, in fact Babbs was as upset as I was to find out that there were minor
children in this family who were "approached."
I got a better idea. How about we all hide out on my boat on the high
seas. we can cruise all over the place and hide.
My vote goes for sailing the high seas on your boat, DM :-)
The husband's "doctor will provide a statement?" No way...the husband's doctor
would have simply told them to get rid of the web-tv if it was a hazard to ole
Gary's health. What a ditz!
Uncle Don? (Rumsfeld)
Ya just never know with Bernice at the helm!!!!!!
Well cCo0ndoleza Rice just asked me over her house for Christmas to
discuss Bernice's free Yahoo groups. but I had to decline due to prior
commitments. I told her I will consider New Years eve.
Funny you should say that, DonnaMarie! Condoleeza phoned me last night
and invited me over for New Year's Eve! I hear she's having a West
Virginia Trash and Bash Party!!!!!
bcma...@shaw.ca (bcmackie)
hehe maybe guedo (LOL darn is that even spelled right)??? or uncle
vinney??
Well, Lu, GWB called me, but I refused to speak with him, as he's an
sjha...@aol.com (Sjhamina)
Everybody searches for their own private and personal reasons. Bernice has no
right to "play God" with anyone for the reasons they search.
> Then was
>wondering why the owner never helped anyone, it was always someone else
>doing all her work.
The "owner" does not know how to search and has never once left her own home to
do a lookup. When someone new joins her group, she never even sends them
state-specific laws regarding their search. She's only interested in how many
people on are the group. "Quantity before Quality." Most people are "on to
her" now.
Re: Boy am I GLAD
Group: alt.adoption.searching Date: Sun, Dec 12, 2004, 6:35am From:
kenne...@webtv.net (Lori)