I can't help you or your husband since I'm not in your state, hell, I'm not even
in your country but one thing in your post caught my eye. I don't; mean this as
a criticism but I wanted to bring the subject up for discussion since I thought
it worthy.
You said that if/when you were able to adopt you would "do everything we can to
make this child know that it is a special child". I have a friend that would
just scream if he heard that term used towards an adopted child. He was adopted
himself and was always told by his parents, with the best intentions of course,
that he was a special child. For him this created a problem because he always
felt that he had to be better and better at everything he did to prove he was
"special". He became obsessed with always being successful and always excelling
at everything just to feel like he deserved this "special" label.
I've used the term myself with my own adopted daughter but I've made a real
effort not to since I really thought about what he had to say and what he went
through. Does anyone else who follows this NG have any thoughts on the subject?
Blair
My parents always told me I was special with only the best intentions they
wanted me to know I was loved. To me special=different. Understand as
adoptees we really only want to be the same. Please let child know that you
love them and dont give them any reason to think that they are somehow expected
to live upto that special expectation. Good Luck
Karen
Am I different? Possibly so. But only by searching do I ever know. The pain and
suffering of that pursuit, emanate from the basic root of all mankind and his
consuming goal to keep immortal his fragile soul. Donald Bragg, Gold Medalist
--
MrsRat
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