Birth Mohter vs Meeting...
Anna
was so very close to finding her! I found out today that she does not
want anything to do with my Husband. Becasue her new Husband and her
kids don't know about the baby from when she was 18.
This makes me so sad. I hope this helps at least one person out there!
My husband is now 47 years old....he was born 11-16-57, I know that was
a different time, but we wanted to make freinds with her. His Mom and
Dad that took care of him is and ALWAYS is his Parent's that never
changes in (they are WONDERFUL) his life!!! No one can take their
place. But there is enough room (and you never have too many friends in
life) in his heart to meet and just to get to know his Birth Mom....we
don't know the Dad's name. We have his Mom's though and a address when
she was 18.
I am so sorry to post this in this group, but I hope this helps at least
one person out there.
My name is Anna from NW Indiana. My husbands name is Randy.
PS I saw the line for "Issues of Adotption," so I wanted to post this
here. Thank you kindly for hearing me out on this issue. I wanted to
post his Birth Mom's pic here, but won't. We lost a baby in 1990....we
are childless, but there is not a day that goes by we don't think of our
baby that died.
©kat©
"Anna" <PocketO...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:16509-3F5...@storefull-2311.public.lawson.webtv.net...
> I have been looking for my Husbands Birth Mother for many years now....I
was so very close to finding her!
I'm somewhat confused already. Why would you be the one searching for your
husband's biological mother?
> I found out today that she does not want anything to do with my Husband.
Becasue her new Husband and her kids don't know about the baby from when she
was 18.
It happens. Sometimes it is just easier for some to pretend some events in
their lives never happened. Everyone deals with things differently.
There are many, many young, unmarried, single mothers, even unmarried who
are not young, today. I'm one of them, from both side of the tracks of
adoption and parenting. Years back, it was more of a shame and disgrace
than it is now. She obviously has different ways of dealing with events in
her life than you do, or than you'd think you would, if put in her shoes.
> This makes me so sad.
It might to an extent, although I do not believe it should be your place.
Obviously you feel for your husband, but again, why are you searching for
his mother for so many years and not he?
> I hope this helps at least one person out there!
I'm not sure what you are hoping helps at least one person out anywhere, but
again, I'm quite confused about this entire post.
> My husband is now 47 years old....he was born 11-16-57, I know that was a
different time, but we wanted to make freinds with her.
Happy belated birthday to Anna's husband, and an early happy birthday, as
his birthday is coming up again real soon!
As for making friends, if, right now, she does not want to have any sort of
a relationship with you or your husband, then let it be. I'm betting there
are many reasons for her decisions, both now and in the past, that you do
not know about. Maybe she is not ready, right now, or ever, to share such
intimate feelings, emotions and secrets with you, or anyone. That is her
decision, and perhaps she is in fear of so many things that no one knows of,
and those feelings are better left buried than dug up after so many years.
There could be fear of herself, you and your husband, her family, it really
could be anything.
> His Mom and Dad that took care of him is and ALWAYS is his Parent's that
never changes in (they are WONDERFUL) his life!!! No one can take their
place. But there is enough room (and you never have too many friends in
life) in his heart to meet and just to get to know his Birth Mom....we don't
know the Dad's name. We have his Mom's though and a address when she was
18.
Good for his mom and dad. They did their job well. Parents should ALWAYS
take care of their children. Blood does not make a good mother or father.
Blood, as well, does not make a son or daughter. There's more to all of our
loved ones than flesh and blood. No one can take anyone's place in their
lives, nor should they be expected to, but some things are sometimes better
left alone.
> I am so sorry to post this in this group, but I hope this helps at least
one person out there.
Don't be sorry. What you posted is related to adoption, and adoption
issues. Second part, again, confuses me. What are you hoping helps anyone?
> My name is Anna from NW Indiana. My husbands name is Randy.
My name is Kat, and I'm from western Canada. My boyfriend's name is Wes.
> PS I saw the line for "Issues of Adotption," so I wanted to post this
here.
Well, this can go here just fine as it seems to relate. It's usually fairly
dead here anyways.
> Thank you kindly for hearing me out on this issue. I wanted to post his
Birth Mom's pic here, but won't.
Probably a very, very wise idea.
> We lost a baby in 1990....we are childless, but there is not a day that
goes by we don't think of our baby that died.
I'm sorry for your loss. I see my son usually every couple weeks or so.
His mom and I get together every couple weeks to let our 2 boys, who are a
year apart in age (and who are biological [half] brothers) play together.
There, as well, isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my DS, and
his brother who lives just out of our city with his [adoptive] family.
Anna
Sorry the person was so bad with my reply!!!
Yeah it sounds like you know everything don't you?
©kat©
> I am real sorry I ever posted here!!!!
> Sorry the person was so bad with my reply!!!
> Yeah it sounds like you know everything don't you?
>
Of course not. You posted here looking for some advice. I gave you my
advice. Giving someone advice is not always having the same views or
opinions as another person. You take what you want, or what you can use,
and you leave the rest. Some of it might work for you, some of it might
not, and you definitely will NOT like all the advice you get, if any,
especially on such a touchy subject. If you play around with fire, you're
almost certain to get burned. Don't like what I have to say because it
isn't the same view as you? Ignore it, read past it, plonk me, whatever.
Advice is advice, and it's sometimes different advice from what you were
hoping to get, but either way, it's advice.
Oh yes, and quoting some of what you're replying to, and who you are
replying to, often helps.
Kat
Robibnikoff
says...
>
>I have been looking for my Husbands Birth Mother for many years now....I
>was so very close to finding her! I found out today that she does not
>want anything to do with my Husband. Becasue her new Husband and her
>kids don't know about the baby from when she was 18.
>This makes me so sad. I hope this helps at least one person out there!
>My husband is now 47 years old....he was born 11-16-57, I know that was
>a different time, but we wanted to make freinds with her. His Mom and
>Dad that took care of him is and ALWAYS is his Parent's that never
>changes in (they are WONDERFUL) his life!!! No one can take their
>place. But there is enough room (and you never have too many friends in
>life) in his heart to meet and just to get to know his Birth Mom....we
>don't know the Dad's name. We have his Mom's though and a address when
>she was 18.
>I am so sorry to post this in this group, but I hope this helps at least
Sorry to hear things didn't work out, but it's not uncommon. I'm 42 and my bmom
had me when she was barely 18. While we have been in contact through in
frequent letters, the chances of us ever meeting are highly unlikely as I'm her
"deep, dark little secret" and neither her husband or children know of my
existence. She also won't reveal the surname of my birthfather.
Does that bother me? Not as much as it did two years ago. I've pretty much
moved on. Best of luck.
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557
BILL BIGLEY
THE TOWEL THERE ARE ANSWERS THAT ADOPTED CHILDREN ARE ENTITLED TO HAVE
THAT ONLY BIRTH PARENTS CAN PROVIDE DONT LOSE HOPE
©kat©
"BILL BIGLEY" <MAC...@interactive.rogers.com> wrote in message
news:2945-3F...@storefull-1904.public.rogers.webtv.net...
> I FIND YOUR POSTING RATHER DISCOURAGING I DONT BELIEVE IN THROWING IN
> THE TOWEL THERE ARE ANSWERS THAT ADOPTED CHILDREN ARE ENTITLED TO HAVE
> THAT ONLY BIRTH PARENTS CAN PROVIDE DONT LOSE HOPE
>
I find your posting rather hard to read and follow. Along with not
believing in throwing in the towel, do you not believe in proper sentence
structure?
Of course adopted children should be able to find answers that they may be
searching for, but there are times and situations that may not allow for
such answers to be found. There's a fine line between trying to get answers
and harrassment.
MICHELLE PRESTON
isn't kept a secret. I was given up for adoption 30 years ago at the age
of five. I feel that I deserve certain answers.
I want to know what I looked like the first five years of my life, do my
children resemble me as a child? The list goes on and I truely don't
want to go into the consequences of being adopted at a late age, I just
wish that some people would try to undestand what it feels like to not
only have been given away, but to have such a huge gap in your life.
Tm n Kat
have laws that protect people from harassment. Triad members are sometimes
wrongly held to standards above and beyond the general population. Kathy J
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Subject: Re: Birth Mohter vs Meeting...
>From: "©kat©" xkat...@KITTYtelus.net
>Date: 9/25/2003
Nancy Fidler
something from the biological mother point of view.
You see, I gave up my daughter in 87' for adoption. I just wanted to let you
know that you should never give up hope. Someday she might try to contact
you.
When I gave up my daughter I was not married and at time was a single mother
to my son. However, when I met my husband I told him everything about my
past including about her. It was with his encouragement that I signed papers
that she can find me. Hopefully, one day she will see it as a blessing - but
please, respect and understand her wishes. It is extremelly difficult to let
a child go.... It's even harder when they return. Give it time... and God
Bless
"Tm n Kat" <tmn...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20030926210852...@mb-m17.aol.com...
Tm n Kat
that my birthmom will never see it as a blessing. Respect whatever wishes she
may have, yes, be a good little adoptee. Kathy J
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Subject: Re: Birth Mohter vs Meeting...
>Date: 10/2/2003
>I just wanted to let you
>know that you should never give up hope. Someday she might try to contact
>you.
>
<snip>
Dale
grandmother. I personally made a very discrete visit to the lady, despite
our lawyer advising us otherwise, and in the end everything worked out fine.
Although she insisted on remaining anonymous for similar reasons that you
sited in your posting she was willing to talk to us and fill in all the
missing history that had existed for many many years. We exchanged family
pictures and in years to follow xmas cards. Sometimes a relationship can be
built despite initial indications that suggest otherwise. Don't give up and
good luck.
In article <16509-3F5...@storefull-2311.public.lawson.webtv.net>,
PocketO...@webtv.netv says...
debeg...@gmail.com
Can you please email me at
globalnat...@gmail.com
Thank you for your time.
Gilbert Sipkema