A Gay Man and Boy Lover Speaks Out
nambla.jam...@googlemail.com
Jamie Baillie
2008 NAMBLA Spokesman
2008 NAMBLA Activist of the Month (May)
http://www.nambla.org
A Gay Man and Boy Lover Speaks Out
Dear Friends
I am a boy-lover and a 39-year-old gay man. I had a wonderful affair
with a 37-year-old man when I was only 10 years old. It was the most
pure clean and honest relationship I've ever had in my life. I knew
of my attraction for men and other boys when I was eight years old.
At the age of 10 a very good looking 37-year-old man a friend of my
family who I very much looked up to made his approach on me. I guess
I had a lot to do with it because I wanted it. We had a very
wonderful passionate heated affair but it only lasted eight months. I
fell deeply in love with this man and through my love for him I
matured a lot spiritually as well as sexually. We did everything that
two loving people could do with each other we made love in every
possible way in a variety of exciting places. To this day it was one
of the spicyest relationships I have ever had.
Unfortunately this man who I loved so much had to walk away from my
life because my parents found out about our close relationship through
another friend of mine (a peer) to whom I had entrusted my secret. My
boyfriend was scared and decided to move to another state. No charges
were ever pressed against him because I never admitted making love
with him.
It's hard to believe that this society with its deep research on
modern psychology and space age technology has not grown out of this
sexual taboo. They probably don't want to face the real true facts of
intergenerational relationships and how mutually healthy and nurturing
they really are.
Society seems concerned about controlling and monitoring everything a
minor does. It is inconceivable that such relationships are punished
with such long jail sentences. People commit murder and their jail
terms are less.
I could have had a much healthier and lasting relationship when I was
a boy if it wasn't because of the way society is. They fucked up the
nice relationship I was having and that's no good! Even though I was
like they say now "molested at 10" I did not grow up to be a child
molester! That's bullshit! Boy love is a natural thing and boys
naturally want to make love to adult gay men when they are attracted
to them. Its attraction nothing else and it can only be satisfied
with the physical act.
I'm sorry if I seem enraged about this issue but I still hold so much
frustration inside because I was never given a chance to be who I
wanted to be when I was 10 years old. I was told it was wrong to love
a man that I was too young and that by boyfriend was evil.
Of course I never thought of him as an evil person. I thought he was
great! I knew what I wanted and he obviously knew what he wanted but
my parents told me I was just a child and I shouldn't be thinking
about sex.
You see my adult gay life has been tough. It's mostly sexual and
everything floats around "looks" and "sex" but if I look back to that
first relationship I found support caring spirituality and commitment
as well as intensity and purity. All of that is very difficult to
achieve these days; the adult gay scene seems to revolve around lust
and sex. I enjoy the sexaul component of being gay and having once
been a boy with an adult boyfriend I know that the boys I date enjoy
it too but bigots prevail.
How can gay people attack judge and condemn boy-lovers if we were once
under the same oppression as they are today? Do we really want to
become as closed-minded as those who refuse to let us gay people share
a space in society? Have any of us taken the time to examine closely
what man/boy love is all about? How can we then become part of the
narrow-minded team that we once fought and still fight against? How
could we ever win the battle of gay rights if we are shooting with the
same weapons that were (and are) used against us? We have forgotten
that sex is a vehicle of communication through which there can be the
maximum expression of love.
The fact of the matter is most gay men are boy lovers in private even
if they put on another face in public. I have the courage to stand up
and be counted as a proud boy lover who has had multiple partners as
young as eight years old. The time has come for the rest of you to
stand with me in this plea for reason. Love is beauty and the love
between a man and a boy is a beautiful thing especially when expressed
as love making.
Sincerely yours
Jamie Baillie
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Jamie Baillie
2008 NAMBLA Spokesman
2008 NAMBLA Activist of the Month (May)
http://www.nambla.org
dark...@nambla.org - Find me at NAMBLA
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"I was demonized for my love affair with a nine year old boy. The key
word is demon something all bigots are."
Jamie Baillie