The Courage to Heal
Justme
Hi:
there was someone who said that they were a coward. (here on
this Ng.) I have something for that person (sorry I've forgotten who.
I have a VERY bad memory..)
Well here it is:
"There is more than anger, there is more than sadness, more than
terror. There is hope."
From Laura Davis and Ellen bass : "the courage to Heal"
Taken from the Book "I cant' get over it"
IF you get that book, go to page 73
"self blame and Survivor Guilt"
Allow me to quote something from that page?
"Do you Blame yourself for the traumatic event? Or do you fault
youreslf for some of the ways you reacted, or did not react, while the
trauma was occuring? If you do, you are not alone. It is not
uncommon for trauma survivors to blame themselves in some way,
(some text skipped here)
One woman said:
"I'vm 55 years old nad have spent 25 years in therapy hearing that it
wasn't my fault. Yet it still makes sencse to me that id Daddy burnt
my hand it must've been because I was bad."
"blaming myself isn't logical, but logic has nothing to do with it".
Similarly, somtimes dedicated policeman, firemen, rescue workers etc.
berate themselves mercilessly for sometimes being unable to save a
life. "
On the next page:
"Self blame arises in part from the fact that powerlessness and
helplessness are two of the worst feelings any human being can
experience. Yet feeling powerless and helpless in the face of danger
is the very defintioin of trauma. However, people prefer to think
that they are able to control their lives, so it is easier to blame
themselves for negative events than to acknowledge that somtimes life
is unfair and arbitrary (unsafe) and innocent people can be victimized
for no reason.
Consequently, to maintain a sense of being in control you may tend to
blame yourself, rather than chance, as responsible for one or more
aspects of the trauma"
You said you were a coward because you didn't take action and get
away. Therefore you felt you were to blame for what happened.
Read this agian and:
I hope this helps....
"you are not a coward, you are a vibrant human being, and just as we
all do, we have limitations. accept those, but don't accept the
blame."
Justme
Prism Collective
Hi it's just little old me, Kaitlyn waiting for pat to step in and
blow the roof off this place.
Justme <cot...@bubble.net> wrote:
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:Hi:
:
Prism Collective has a web page.
URL is: http://www.angelfire.com/ca/prismcollective/index.html
Prism Collective
"pat" <patgaz@.REMOVE_THIS.asarian-host.org> wrote:
:Prism Collective wrote:
:>
:> Hi it's just little old me, Kaitlyn waiting for pat to step in and
:> blow the roof off this place.
:
:waiting till i get home sweetie.. working late tonight..
hehehehe I figured you'd not replied for one reason or another.
Can't wait to see it.
Kaitlyn:
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Buff Lee
yikes! hope you're okay, Carey!!!
On Fri, 17 Apr 1998, it was written:
> ummm...we are under a tornado watch....could that be pat on the horizon?
>
> Prism Collective <sava...@Remove.This.primenet.com> wrote in article
> <35367933...@news.primenet.com>...
> > Hi it's just little old me, Kaitlyn waiting for pat to step in and
> > blow the roof off this place.
> >
> >
> >
> >
Justme
On 16 Apr 1998, Prism Collective wrote:
>:> Hi it's just little old me, Kaitlyn waiting for pat to step in and
>:> blow the roof off this place.
>:
>:waiting till i get home sweetie.. working late tonight..
>
>hehehehe I figured you'd not replied for one reason or another.
>
>Can't wait to see it.
>
>Kaitlyn:
Justme said:
Why do I feel like the Sword of Damocles is hanging over my head?
Justme
>
> Ok, I'll bite <grin> but if Justme want's to turn a bad dream into a
>nightmare she'll pick up Prendergast's book when she's finished with
>this one :-)
>
> - Panther (baiting)
>
Justme said:
Hmmm. It seems as thou Ive undergone a usenet "sex change operation".
I've often wondered what it would be like being female?!?!!
(looking in my pants..) Nope, still a slimy male.
Sorry, BTW, My mother was VERy disppointed that I wasn't a female and
she let that be known too. It meant that to have a girl she would'vbe
had to go throu pregnancy again and boy was she pissed.
I just got throught that with the shrink. too.
Prism Collective
Justme <cot...@bubble.net> wrote:
hehehe Well I think your safe now. I've not seen a post from Pat to
this topic yet so I doubt there will be one. Pat "HATES" that book,
just so you know.
Kaitlyn:
silve...@valis.worldgate.com
pat <patgaz@.REMOVE_THIS.asarian-host.org> wrote:
: dang it, gal! ain't that the bloody truth.. spend all that time
: journeling, curled up in the corner with your stuffy... cut off all
: family ties, sue the parents and neighbors and the preacher man.. just
: as courage to heal tell you to do.. best self-mind-control book i've
: every read.
wellll we know we differ on this one, so i don't feel inclined to argue
it.
: Another ex-patient is suing another therapist in houston, seeking $10
: million in damages.. This time, it isn't Peterson..
sometime i REALLY wish i lived in the states. the maximum one can sue for
here is small change compared to further south. and i'm even suing the
government. :P
i think i'll just be bitter for a moment...
silverleaf
--
"I am a limpet, and you are my rock." - from silverleafs' silly husband.
silve...@valis.worldgate.com
Justme
On 20 Apr 1998 silve...@valis.worldgate.com wrote:
>: dang it, gal! ain't that the bloody truth.. spend all that time
>: journeling, curled up in the corner with your stuffy... cut off all
>: family ties, sue the parents and neighbors and the preacher man.. just
>: as courage to heal tell you to do.. best self-mind-control book i've
>: every read.
>
>wellll we know we differ on this one, so i don't feel inclined to argue
>it.
Justme Said:
y'know, I never siad I READ that book, I just quoted that phrase from
a book that quoted it from that book.... confused yet?
I"m actually reading: "I can't get over it" by aphrodite maksukas
in that book, she quoted from "the courage to heal".