To Terry (Was Re: Left Behind)
Henk ter Heide
In article <338d255d...@news.northernnet.com> written on
the Thu, 29 May 1997, Swenson <was...@northernnet.com> writes
>This is pretty old; I just found it on dejanews. But I think it's
>still quite timely in the thoughts you express, Terry, so it would
>seem a topic that we can easily return to.
>
>>Subject: Re: Left behind
>>From: Terry Blunt <te...@langri.demon.co.uk>
>>Date: 1997/04/23
>>Message-Id: <ant231903b49g8=R...@langri.demon.co.uk>
>>Newsgroups: alt.abuse.recovery
>
>
>>In article <335c068c...@news.northernnet.com>, Swenson
>><URL:mailto:was...@northernnet.com> wrote:
>
>>> Do you cry out loud for them to wait? Or do you wish you could find
>>> the words that would show them how much you want them to stay close to
>>> you?
>>>
>>> I ask this because in all the time I've been reading you, I've seldom
>>> seen you cry out for anything. I have seen you be supportive far more
>>> times than I've seen you ask for support. You were one of the first
>>> people to respond to my initial hesitant posts, and in the times I've
>>> floundered, you've often rushed over to tell me that no, I'm not being
>>> pathetic or whatever.
>>>
>>> I'm not going anywhere. I'm glad to see you're not, either.
>>>
>>> Cry out loud anytime, I'm always listening.
>>>
>>> Laurie
>
>
>>Well...
>
>>Yes, you rather hit on it didn't you <embarrassed smile>
>
>Well, sometimes the best way to hit on something is to wonder and then
>ask. Rather than to just wonder. I think we all connect better if we
>do some of our wondering about each other aloud, feel our way through
>things. You can't do that everywhere, with everyone, but there's
>something about this place that, in spite of the fighting that runs
>rampant at times, is pretty safe when it comes to reaching out to
>others and being reached out at.
>
>>The last time I really cried out was when I was in my early 20s. I was
>>accused of being involved in a racialy motivated beating of a mentally
>>impared Indian man. Anyone who knows me at all, knows that such an
>>idea was completely untenable.
>
>Yeah. I see you as the type of person who would be quite dismayed at
>such a horrible thing.
>
> One person knew for a fact that I
>>hadn't been involved. At no risk to himself he could have cleared me.
>>Instead he *enjoyed* watching me suffer. To this day I have no idea
>>why he did this, or why I was singled out for his hatred.
>I've never
>>asked anyone for any personal help since.
This is sad Terry. How can anybody ever help you if you don't ask for
it. If you don't open yourself up for it.
Henk
>
>That's horrible, Terry. I can imagine that first of all, being
>suspected of such a cruel deed brought you a lot of anguish. And on
>top of that, to have someone refuse to do what would seem like the
>only choice for any decent person must have been confusing and
>shocking to you.
>
>Still, it's sad that this incident closed that door for you. I'm sure
>you know in your heart that most people aren't like that man, but I
>imagine you never wanted to put yourself in the position of needing
>anyone that much again.
>
>>This had been the final straw after a childhood where crying for
>>anything (even for other people's sake) was regarded as 'cissy'
>
>I hate that. I have often told my kids that their crying is an
>overreaction when it's over whiney stuff, but I would never tell them
>that it was sissy or babyish or whatever. And I would never give my
>son the message that boys don't cry.
>
>But it is a message that boys receive. When I was in high school, I
>remember that sometimes when my brother Steve would cry and whine, I'd
>sarcastically call him "Stephanie." Looking back, I can't believe I
>said something that insulting to both boys and girls in general.
>
> and an
>>adolescence that was endured, not than enjoyed. I'd already learned to
>>be almost totally self-sufficient, and though that didn't lead to
>>happiness, it did enable me to survive in a seemingly increasingly
>>hostile world.
>
>Sounds like a lonely time, Terry.
>
>>A curious side effect of all of this is that even at my lowest point,
>>suicide was never an option. I got the idea that there were a few
>>people who would actually get pleasure from such a thing - well they
>>damn well weren't going to get it from me!
>
>I think that our instinct for survival sometimes kicks in at these low
>points, in whatever way that works. I had suicidal thoughts after
>being raped (or whatever it was I thought of it as back then), and
>then again after I broke up with my abusive boyfriend two years later,
>and one of the reasons it wasn't an option was because it would be a
>horrible thing to do to others who cared, specifically my mother.
>
>>Recently I've been able to accept support from a very few people
>>(mostly on here). I don't expect it, and am always ready for it to
>>disappear suddenly without reason. I don't mean to belittle other
>>people's concern for me. I just don't feel 'safe' about the idea of
>>relying on support.
>
>I understand, although it doesn't take much for me to rely on support.
>I tend to go the other way ... although my trust and hope and belief,
>etc., etc., etc., were thrown back in my face years ago, I've tried
>not to discard those feelings. I feel like if I don't have hope, if I
>don't trust, if I don't believe in people, that I lose something
>special, something that's very much a part of the core of me.
>
>And I don't mean to belittle your feelings in this area. We all
>protect ourselves in our own ways.
>
>>At the same time, I find it impossible to ignore anyone else crying
>>out for help. In the back of my mind is always the thought that nobody
>>should feel as alone and abandoned as I have. If I'm able to, I'll sit
>>up all night with someone, just to stop them feeling alone.
>
>>--
>>Terry Blunt
>
>Terry, that's just the most beautiful, most compassionate statement.
>It really moved me to read it. You're a very special person and I'm
>glad to know you.
>
>Laurie
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Henk ter Heide Support the anti-Spam amendment
hhe...@wirehub.nl Join at http://www.cauce.org/
The Netherlands
Swenson
I think my news reader must have a built-in killfile that refuses most
Terry Blunt posts! found this one, as usual, on dejanews.
>Subject: Re: To Terry (Was Re: Left Behind)
>From: Terry Blunt <te...@langri.demon.co.uk>
>In article <338d255d...@news.northernnet.com>, Swenson
><URL:mailto:was...@northernnet.com> wrote:
>>
>> This is pretty old; I just found it on dejanews. But I think it's
>> still quite timely in the thoughts you express, Terry, so it would
>> seem a topic that we can easily return to.
>Hi Lawrie,
>I thought this had gone for good.
Nah, I always come back when you least expect me. :)
>>
>> >In article <335c068c...@news.northernnet.com>, Swenson
>> ><URL:mailto:was...@northernnet.com> wrote:
>>
>> >> Do you cry out loud for them to wait? Or do you wish you could find
>> >> the words that would show them how much you want them to stay close to
>> >> you?
>> >>
>> >> I ask this because in all the time I've been reading you, I've seldom
>> >> seen you cry out for anything. I have seen you be supportive far more
>> >> times than I've seen you ask for support. You were one of the first
>> >> people to respond to my initial hesitant posts, and in the times I've
>> >> floundered, you've often rushed over to tell me that no, I'm not being
>> >> pathetic or whatever.
>> >>
>> >> I'm not going anywhere. I'm glad to see you're not, either.
>> >>
>> >> Cry out loud anytime, I'm always listening.
>> >>
>> >> Laurie
>>
>>
>> >Well...
>>
>> >Yes, you rather hit on it didn't you <embarrassed smile>
>>
>> Well, sometimes the best way to hit on something is to wonder and then
>> ask. Rather than to just wonder. I think we all connect better if we
>> do some of our wondering about each other aloud, feel our way through
>> things. You can't do that everywhere, with everyone, but there's
>> something about this place that, in spite of the fighting that runs
>> rampant at times, is pretty safe when it comes to reaching out to
>> others and being reached out at.
>I've been saying very little here lately of any great depth, mostly
>because of the fighting, and because I get upset when I seem to be
>unable to support *either* of two friends without seeming to take
>sides in an argument I simply don't understand anyway.
I can understand this, but at the same time I seem to be getting
better at letting the fighting go on and not letting it get to me like
it used to, even when I'm feeling like the fighting is getting out of
hand. If there's something that I see that I feel strongly about, I
might put my voice into the mix, but in general I feel I serve myself
better by staying out of it.
I feel better about being able to do that. It used to be that a big
fight would be going on and I just would feel wrong somehow about
posting something else. It felt like the fight was all the place was
about sometimes.
>> >The last time I really cried out was when I was in my early 20s. I was
>> >accused of being involved in a racialy motivated beating of a mentally
>> >impared Indian man. Anyone who knows me at all, knows that such an
>> >idea was completely untenable.
>>
>> Yeah. I see you as the type of person who would be quite dismayed at
>> such a horrible thing.
>>
>> One person knew for a fact that I
>> >hadn't been involved. At no risk to himself he could have cleared me.
>> >Instead he *enjoyed* watching me suffer. To this day I have no idea
>> >why he did this, or why I was singled out for his hatred. I've never
>> >asked anyone for any personal help since.
>>
>> That's horrible, Terry. I can imagine that first of all, being
>> suspected of such a cruel deed brought you a lot of anguish. And on
>> top of that, to have someone refuse to do what would seem like the
>> only choice for any decent person must have been confusing and
>> shocking to you.
>I can always make some sort of allowance for someone who lashes out in
>a fit of anger - I've done it myself to my regret - but I find someone
>who plans misery for others to be quite alien.
Yes. Exactly.
Even in an argument, if
>I see the other person is getting distressed, the argument closes
>immediately as far as I'm concerned.
That's very empathetic of you, Terry. Shows that you think more of the
person than the argument.
>> Still, it's sad that this incident closed that door for you. I'm sure
>> you know in your heart that most people aren't like that man, but I
>> imagine you never wanted to put yourself in the position of needing
>> anyone that much again.
>It was really only clicking the latch on a door that was pretty much
>closed anyway. I still find it very hard to ask for help where
>emotional issues are involved and, in more mundane matters, unasked
>for offers of help are just as problematical for me.
Do you ever compare this to how warmly you offer help and support to
others?
Do you ever consider that what you offer to others is something you
see as important for them, but at the same time you can't allow
yourself to have the same thing?
I'm not criticizing, Terry, just pointing out that so many of us see
everything so much clearly for others than for themselves.
>> >This had been the final straw after a childhood where crying for
>> >anything (even for other people's sake) was regarded as 'cissy'
>>
>> I hate that. I have often told my kids that their crying is an
>> overreaction when it's over whiney stuff, but I would never tell them
>> that it was sissy or babyish or whatever. And I would never give my
>> son the message that boys don't cry.
>>
>> But it is a message that boys receive. When I was in high school, I
>> remember that sometimes when my brother Steve would cry and whine, I'd
>> sarcastically call him "Stephanie." Looking back, I can't believe I
>> said something that insulting to both boys and girls in general.
>Yes, it sort of says 'boys don't cry' + 'girls always cry' doesn't it?
Yes, it does. And it's a message I am glad that I have never given to
my own children.
>> and an
>> >adolescence that was endured, not than enjoyed. I'd already learned to
>> >be almost totally self-sufficient, and though that didn't lead to
>> >happiness, it did enable me to survive in a seemingly increasingly
>> >hostile world.
>>
>> Sounds like a lonely time, Terry.
>I wish I had a penny for every time I asked myself why I can't be like
>everyone else :(
Terry, if we could all have that, we could be conducting these posts
in person on a big cruise ship.
People with typical non-abusive situations feel like that sometimes,
but I think most people in abusive situations feel automatically
different because of their "secret," and that feeling sticks.
I don't know what it was I was giving out that the
>other kids at school picked up, but it meant that I was getting a
>rough time there as well as at home. I actually found myself trying to
>disguise abilities I had if I thought they'd seem too 'clever'.
That's sad. A child should be able to live so much more freely than
that among his or her peers.
>> >A curious side effect of all of this is that even at my lowest point,
>> >suicide was never an option. I got the idea that there were a few
>> >people who would actually get pleasure from such a thing - well they
>> >damn well weren't going to get it from me!
>>
>> I think that our instinct for survival sometimes kicks in at these low
>> points, in whatever way that works. I had suicidal thoughts after
>> being raped (or whatever it was I thought of it as back then), and
>> then again after I broke up with my abusive boyfriend two years later,
>> and one of the reasons it wasn't an option was because it would be a
>> horrible thing to do to others who cared, specifically my mother.
>>
>> >Recently I've been able to accept support from a very few people
>> >(mostly on here). I don't expect it, and am always ready for it to
>> >disappear suddenly without reason. I don't mean to belittle other
>> >people's concern for me. I just don't feel 'safe' about the idea of
>> >relying on support.
>>
>> I understand, although it doesn't take much for me to rely on support.
>> I tend to go the other way ... although my trust and hope and belief,
>> etc., etc., etc., were thrown back in my face years ago, I've tried
>> not to discard those feelings. I feel like if I don't have hope, if I
>> don't trust, if I don't believe in people, that I lose something
>> special, something that's very much a part of the core of me.
>>
>> And I don't mean to belittle your feelings in this area. We all
>> protect ourselves in our own ways.
>Put you and me side by side, and a statitician would say we were quite
>normal... on average :)
Leave it to you to come up with a statement like that, Terry. Humor
with a touch of bittersweet.
It made me smile and think that it's nice to be comfortable enough
with each other to let snippets of humor in among the serious stuff.
>> >At the same time, I find it impossible to ignore anyone else crying
>> >out for help. In the back of my mind is always the thought that nobody
>> >should feel as alone and abandoned as I have. If I'm able to, I'll sit
>> >up all night with someone, just to stop them feeling alone.
>>
>> >--
>> >Terry Blunt
>>
>> Terry, that's just the most beautiful, most compassionate statement.
>> It really moved me to read it. You're a very special person and I'm
>> glad to know you.
>>
>> Laurie
>Thanks for that. I remember a long time ago when a very good friend of
>mine was going though real physical pain after the break up of his
>engagement, I stayed with him till about 2 am several times. Looking
>back I can almost smile, but at the time it was very frightening for
>both of us. Neither of us knew anything about stress related illness.
>He thought he was about to die, and I thought my best friend was
>cracking up.
>Ironically, helping Ray, turned out to be it's own reward years later
>when I had stress problems myself. I already knew the symptoms, which
>made it far easier for me to deal with than it might otherwise have
>been. I was spared some of the fear of the unknown.
Yes, definitely. It's overwhelming enough to have emotional pain turn
physical when you DO make the connection.
>--
>Terry Blunt
Laurie, a little redder than usual (NEXT time I'll remember the
sunscreen!)
Terry Blunt
In article <3391272f....@news.northernnet.com>, Swenson
<URL:mailto:was...@northernnet.com> wrote:
Some heavy snippage in this post. It was turning into a novel :-/
> I think my news reader must have a built-in killfile that refuses most
> Terry Blunt posts! found this one, as usual, on dejanews.
:(
> >I thought this had gone for good.
>
> Nah, I always come back when you least expect me. :)
:)
> >I've been saying very little here lately of any great depth, mostly
> >because of the fighting, and because I get upset when I seem to be
> >unable to support *either* of two friends without seeming to take
> >sides in an argument I simply don't understand anyway.
>
> I can understand this, but at the same time I seem to be getting
> better at letting the fighting go on and not letting it get to me like
> it used to, even when I'm feeling like the fighting is getting out of
> hand. If there's something that I see that I feel strongly about, I
> might put my voice into the mix, but in general I feel I serve myself
> better by staying out of it.
>
> I feel better about being able to do that. It used to be that a big
> fight would be going on and I just would feel wrong somehow about
> posting something else. It felt like the fight was all the place was
> about sometimes.
I know just what you mean! I find I feel like a fraud if I just ignore
the fighting and talk about other things as if nothing was wrong. It
seems so close to the situation where people that are being hurt are
ignored too.
> Even in an argument, if
> >I see the other person is getting distressed, the argument closes
> >immediately as far as I'm concerned.
>
> That's very empathetic of you, Terry. Shows that you think more of the
> person than the argument.
Thanks. Unfortunately one or two people have cottoned on to this in
the past and done a bit of manipulating :(
> >It was really only clicking the latch on a door that was pretty much
> >closed anyway. I still find it very hard to ask for help where
> >emotional issues are involved and, in more mundane matters, unasked
> >for offers of help are just as problematical for me.
>
> Do you ever compare this to how warmly you offer help and support to
> others?
Oh dear, oh dear. It's a good job you can't see me blushing!
> Do you ever consider that what you offer to others is something you
> see as important for them, but at the same time you can't allow
> yourself to have the same thing?
>
> I'm not criticizing, Terry, just pointing out that so many of us see
> everything so much clearly for others than for themselves.
Well I know this when I sit back and look at things calmly. At the
same time, I see people shy away from anyone who is upset, and I'm a
bit scared that if they see me hurting they'll go away and not come
back.
> >Yes, it sort of says 'boys don't cry' + 'girls always cry' doesn't it?
>
> Yes, it does. And it's a message I am glad that I have never given to
> my own children.
I'm glad to hear that! I do find it encouraging that the 'rules' seem
to be getting dumped by a lot of people these days.
> >I wish I had a penny for every time I asked myself why I can't be like
> >everyone else :(
>
> Terry, if we could all have that, we could be conducting these posts
> in person on a big cruise ship.
:)
> People with typical non-abusive situations feel like that sometimes,
> but I think most people in abusive situations feel automatically
> different because of their "secret," and that feeling sticks.
Because mine was mostly belittling, I never really felt that there was
anything in the family that needed to be hidden - just that I was
somehow rather inferior. I just wished that I could be loved anyway.
Even quite recently my mother managed to underline the gulf between us
(without having a clue). She said 'we never realised you needed a lot
more love than you brother'. She didn't mean it I'm sure, but even
that sounds like I was to blame in some way.
> I don't know what it was I was giving out that the
> >other kids at school picked up, but it meant that I was getting a
> >rough time there as well as at home. I actually found myself trying to
> >disguise abilities I had if I thought they'd seem too 'clever'.
>
> That's sad. A child should be able to live so much more freely than
> that among his or her peers.
Well the knock-on effect for me is that I *always* encourage anyone I
see doing something special, different, clever - regardless of their
age. I also try to look for new things for me to do.
> >Put you and me side by side, and a statitician would say we were quite
> >normal... on average :)
>
> Leave it to you to come up with a statement like that, Terry. Humor
> with a touch of bittersweet.
>
> It made me smile and think that it's nice to be comfortable enough
> with each other to let snippets of humor in among the serious stuff.
I've got that silly grin on my face again.
--
Terry Blunt
Sometimes I sits and scratches my head,
but oft-times I scratches my bum instead.
Swenson
>In article <3391272f....@news.northernnet.com>, Swenson
><URL:mailto:was...@northernnet.com> wrote:
>
>Some heavy snippage in this post. It was turning into a novel :-/
>
You should see my longest post in talk.rape (1949 lines!). It was in
answer to a post of 1939 lines, so I only added 10 lines overall on
the reply, but that included starting four separate new threads with
pasted material while trying to shorten it.
>> I think my news reader must have a built-in killfile that refuses most
>> Terry Blunt posts! found this one, as usual, on dejanews.
>
> :(
>
>> >I thought this had gone for good.
>>
>> Nah, I always come back when you least expect me. :)
>
> :)
>
>> >I've been saying very little here lately of any great depth, mostly
>> >because of the fighting, and because I get upset when I seem to be
>> >unable to support *either* of two friends without seeming to take
>> >sides in an argument I simply don't understand anyway.
>>
>> I can understand this, but at the same time I seem to be getting
>> better at letting the fighting go on and not letting it get to me like
>> it used to, even when I'm feeling like the fighting is getting out of
>> hand. If there's something that I see that I feel strongly about, I
>> might put my voice into the mix, but in general I feel I serve myself
>> better by staying out of it.
>>
>> I feel better about being able to do that. It used to be that a big
>> fight would be going on and I just would feel wrong somehow about
>> posting something else. It felt like the fight was all the place was
>> about sometimes.
>
>I know just what you mean! I find I feel like a fraud if I just ignore
>the fighting and talk about other things as if nothing was wrong. It
>seems so close to the situation where people that are being hurt are
>ignored too.
>
Yeeks ... I stopped here 'bout an hour ago and went off to take a
shower, which became a bath, which became a bed until my nose went
underwater. :P And now my fingers are all wrinkled and numb.
Oh well. At least I got an hour of sleep.
Anyway ...
maybe we're somewhat alike in regard to what you say about witnessing
fighting, Terry. When I see someone fight back IRL, I respect and envy
them, but there is still a feeling of discomfort that I can't help
feeling. The fear of conflict thing that plagues me.
But I think I handle it better as time goes by.
>> Even in an argument, if
>> >I see the other person is getting distressed, the argument closes
>> >immediately as far as I'm concerned.
>>
>> That's very empathetic of you, Terry. Shows that you think more of the
>> person than the argument.
>
>Thanks. Unfortunately one or two people have cottoned on to this in
>the past and done a bit of manipulating :(
>
I can imagine. :(
>> >It was really only clicking the latch on a door that was pretty much
>> >closed anyway. I still find it very hard to ask for help where
>> >emotional issues are involved and, in more mundane matters, unasked
>> >for offers of help are just as problematical for me.
>>
>> Do you ever compare this to how warmly you offer help and support to
>> others?
>
>Oh dear, oh dear. It's a good job you can't see me blushing!
>
Aw, what a lovely shade of pink it must be, too. :)
>> Do you ever consider that what you offer to others is something you
>> see as important for them, but at the same time you can't allow
>> yourself to have the same thing?
>>
>> I'm not criticizing, Terry, just pointing out that so many of us see
>> everything so much clearly for others than for themselves.
>
>Well I know this when I sit back and look at things calmly. At the
>same time, I see people shy away from anyone who is upset, and I'm a
>bit scared that if they see me hurting they'll go away and not come
>back.
>
Ahhhh ... I know that feeling. Not here so much (hurt is already
established here), but with my mainstream IRC friends who have known
about my past since before I even joined AAR. I especially worry about
being repetitive ... there are very few people I feel comfortable
talking to about my abusive relationship, because I feel like I'm just
rehashing things I've already talked about and have not gotten
anywhere on.
Personally, I shy away from people who are chronically upset, about
the same things, and who e-wail about them and never really get what
you're trying to say to be helpful. I don't shy away from them because
they're in pain ... I shy away because I don't know how to deal with
pain that will not really try to understand itself.
I also have a bit of a problem with really raw pain ... not that I
don't want to hear it, but it's more, I think, that it reminds me of
myself months ago when I was in really bad shape, hurt and confused
and unable to really express raw pain. When I see others do it, it
reminds me of myself _wishing_ I could. It reminds me of all the times
people on IRC would ask me how I was and I'd say "fine" or "okay" when
inside I was anything but.
But Terry, your hurting wouldn't make me go away. I care about you, I
enjoy talking with you, I think you're a lovely person, and I consider
you my friend. And I don't give up on my friends.
*hug*
>> >Yes, it sort of says 'boys don't cry' + 'girls always cry' doesn't it?
>>
>> Yes, it does. And it's a message I am glad that I have never given to
>> my own children.
>
>I'm glad to hear that! I do find it encouraging that the 'rules' seem
>to be getting dumped by a lot of people these days.
>
Yes, it is encouraging. I think a lot of today's children will grow up
to be more well-rounded, because they weren't shoved into molds.
>> >I wish I had a penny for every time I asked myself why I can't be like
>> >everyone else :(
>>
>> Terry, if we could all have that, we could be conducting these posts
>> in person on a big cruise ship.
>
> :)
>
>> People with typical non-abusive situations feel like that sometimes,
>> but I think most people in abusive situations feel automatically
>> different because of their "secret," and that feeling sticks.
>
>Because mine was mostly belittling, I never really felt that there was
>anything in the family that needed to be hidden
ah, that was simplistic the way I put it. I didn't factor in the
effects of the abuse itself, which I do very clearly know can make a
person feel "different."
- just that I was
>somehow rather inferior.
It's sad that we have had to endure false lessons such as these,
Terry. :(
You are VERY ferior in MY book!
Superior, too. :) As in a class act, a decent person, a warmly caring
person.
> I just wished that I could be loved anyway.
Of course you wished that. Everyone wants to be cared about and
accepted for who s/he is inside.
>Even quite recently my mother managed to underline the gulf between us
>(without having a clue). She said 'we never realised you needed a lot
>more love than you brother'. She didn't mean it I'm sure, but even
>that sounds like I was to blame in some way.
>
Yeah, like nothing would have satisfied you.
>> I don't know what it was I was giving out that the
>> >other kids at school picked up, but it meant that I was getting a
>> >rough time there as well as at home. I actually found myself trying to
>> >disguise abilities I had if I thought they'd seem too 'clever'.
>>
>> That's sad. A child should be able to live so much more freely than
>> that among his or her peers.
>
>Well the knock-on effect for me is that I *always* encourage anyone I
>see doing something special, different, clever - regardless of their
>age. I also try to look for new things for me to do.
>
That's a beautifully free part of you, Terry. I'm glad you embrace
that part.
>> >Put you and me side by side, and a statitician would say we were quite
>> >normal... on average :)
>>
>> Leave it to you to come up with a statement like that, Terry. Humor
>> with a touch of bittersweet.
>>
>> It made me smile and think that it's nice to be comfortable enough
>> with each other to let snippets of humor in among the serious stuff.
>
>I've got that silly grin on my face again.
>
It's so cute, too. Almost as cute as the blushing. :)
>--
>Terry Blunt
>
>Sometimes I sits and scratches my head,
>but oft-times I scratches my bum instead.
>
The sig's back!!!!!
Laurie