apple green ( and th wizard )
the single wizard
+++
put my apple green sheet on th bed
just took it off th line
just came back from th service station
put my last five dollars in th car
after buyin an
apple green pack of
holiday king menthols
hmm
they just changed colour on th packs
and i had my heart set
on a pack of holidays
+++
"and a half bud fell out of th car seat"
"gimme"
ok
+++
done that small thing
what room deodorant we got jen ?
"green apple and honeysuckle"
hit me
"goes with th fresh green apple sheet"
"and th fresh green apple ciggies"
funny as
"love bein a wizard"
and th green apple mobile phone
+++
"enough"
"light me"
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
+++
got this clipping from th paper
jen went nuts
nicole kidman in 1983
frizzy as hair
point of th article
i am havin a bad hair day ok
frizz everywhere
"they said"
"feral"
hmm
can ya imagine nicole dear bein feral ?
+++
it's down below my shoulders again
leastwise when th curls dont tighten up
better wash it again tonight hey ?
+++
i'd share but
yur a fuckhead
+++
no offense
+++
"shared before"
tie it back up will ya ?
+++
can i burn that clipping now ?
"no man"
big pic of a virgin
plane
on that page
u sure ?
"the apple green phone is with virgin"
"i'm sure"
bitch
+++
think that pic is from bmx bandits
two wheels babe
all girls bikes with training wheels
"dont care"
+++
idiot
+++
music on fuck ya
kylie minogue
'promises'
+++
now look windows
+++
it's th little things
that make ya feel magic
+++
"how ironing out my frizz can get me into a tizz"
+++
i dont bother
my hair's wild
+++
no nicole kidman songs ok
already got me once today
+++
"morticia was always chasin after th frizz"
"used that no frizz stuff"
seen a photo of her with th frizz
rather have th frizz
+++
"rather have her cute little arse"
mazin what a cone can do
+++
yothu yindi
'romance at garma'
+++
be fucked
+++
"black bastard'
u got no proof
+++
"prick then"
i'll wear that
+++
apple green
+++
"kermit 100cc motorcycle"
"used to go to th pub on it
"with four guys on it"
"apple green it was"
+++
miss ya kermit
u were a fun toy for a girls bike
+++
"ok smartarse"
"go and tell a harley rider he's on a girl's bike"
been there done that
im a clown on a unicycle remember
i told th whole fuckin pack they were on girls bikes
still alive
+++
fcuk holidays have gone upmarket
+++
nirvana
'smells like teen spirit'
+++
"wanna go for a fly"
tomorrow
no music
mp3 player batteries died
gotta do it right
+++
th problem with bein an entertainer
specially one not as famous as nickie
is
ppl fawn over ya
and then ya go somewhere else
and yur nobody
which nickie would probly like right ?
"and britney et al"
did she?
+++
least ya got th money then hey dear ?
+++
"yeah, go shoppin"
+++
but ya couldnt buy what ya wanted
ppl watchin
and talkin and
"what ya have assistants for"
u mean liek th queens and th prince's ?
they keep tellin fuckin tales
just cant get a decent servant these days
+++
"ok ya got me"
+++
"nice havin em fawn on ya occasionally"
"lovely litle blonde on th arm saturday night"
+++
kraftwerk
'tour de france'
+++
fuckin girls bikes
+++
fuck off
+++
lance armstrong
needs a fuckin training wheel
I DO NOT NEED ANOTHER WHEEL
ARE YOU PPL FUCKING BLIND ?
ppl are stupid
+++
"where's yur other wheel ?"
ask me again
we'll see if it's stickin out of yur arse
+++
bad side to bein fawned over
yeah i am amazing
fuck off
+++
"specially ridin a single wheel in th surf"
what bein a wizard's about
"little pot goes a long way"
+++
acdc
'love hungry man'
+++
yeah but i stay on top of it
"mostly"
"you've lived with seven"
dont remind me
+++
i'm still tryin to get a decent picture of it
had a pro take pics
didnt get a name
or a number
you know photographers
they took th pic
aren't they fuckin special ?
+++
like
it wasnt fuckn special
before they took a photo of it
i dunno man
surfin in th surf on a unicycle is
always special
+++
been doin it five years
somehow
i seem to avoid major publicity
which is good
+++
dont want nickie's life
+++
i go home after performin
put th wizard to bed
and no cameras waitin outside my door
+++
placebo
'20th century boy'
+++
"that is amazing"
well just yur fuckin mouth
+++
wonder where those pics will turn up ?
history says i'll never find out
+++
"which is good right ?"
s'pose
but i do want one for my bedroom wall
i fuckin did that
ridin a unicycle in th surf
impossible
"for a boy with sore balls"
there is that
"good drugs"
and lots of practise
+++
"toyboy ?"
not again
+++
goin out with a yuppie can be murder
+++
placebo
'daddy cool'
+++
"dont put a wallet in yur back pocket"
"We're goin to a nice restaurant"
+++
and get hit on by th gay waiter all night
"she was also goin out with a bicycle racer"
and who had th better body ?
considerin that's what she was into
cartin a nice body out for dinner
fuckin girls bike rider
+++
"part of th curse daddy"
fuck off
+++
"trip over em"
+++
she bumped dates with th bicycle racer for me
"th lovely morticia"
+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'californication"
+++
"dating is american"
+++
"wanna tell em all to go get fucked ?"
"and go hit a beach on th weekend"
+++
promised karen
can wear breakin my promise to beth
only just met er
and
she half my age
+++
"c'mon u liked er"
+++
cute as anyway
+++
"curled up with th wizard while he sings in th street"
"for love"
+++
yeah alright
dont belabour it
+++
"dont make money out of it"
"sing with many"
"and they look after us in other ways"
"little things mean so much"
+++
smiles on dials
ridin th karmic wheel
+++
"almost beat th curse"
almost
+++
massive attack
'protection'
+++
"boy tryin to play with my nipples while i sang on saturday night"
ok jenny
"th sexchange stuff is still in my head"
+++
harder to do what we're doin
i take th hard way to do things
+++
"love to fly on this song"
+++
"boy singin like a girl on th radio before"
just every day
i sing liek a guy too
+++
was a bit confused th other night
"c'mon u were touchin her too"
+++
gay guy walked up and
ah man
fucked it for me
+++
"cant keep everybody happy"
"dont try"
+++
"besides he still stopped and gazed and listened and..."
+++
mad
+++
"gotta do th hardest thing ya can do"
"otherwise ya may as well give up"
"sore nuts from any meetin with a woman"
"right ?"
"right"
"ride a unicycle"
"and hey presto"
"comfortably numb nuts after half an hour and"
"smoke a little painkiller"
"drink six bourbons for th nerves and"
"sing to one and all"
"With a pretty girl with her arm around ya"
gunna kill me one day
"been doin it five years"
"live on th fuckin edge"
+++
"dont offer me strippin jobs"
"i cant do it"
"that many wet girls in one place"
"doesnt bear thinkin about"
+++
and they rip ya to shreds
take skin samples
+++
"keep on rollin paultje"
+++
tool
'message to harry manback'
+++
scares th willies out of me sometimes
specially when they out with th cameras
+++
you dont know me
+++
do all th wrong things
and i just end up in pain
+++
"balls mashed"
"he said"
+++
"yow"
+++
just feel liek paulie
who cares ?
+++
afroman
'high'
+++
dont tell me to give up smokin ciggies
can smell women more
and that's a problem
+++
"vicks vapour rub"
doesnt quite cut it
+++
"helps though"
+++
wild animal
+++
"hole in that conepiece is gettin too big"
+++
"we got thru yesterday"
+++
ok
+++
"apple green"
+++
"found ya a little hash"
"put some in th menthol tobacco"
"apple green pack"
"yummie"
+++
drum menthol with a twist hey ?
+++
"tryin to keep th pimples down"
"have to reduce th baths for th balls man"
"cant stand em takin pics when i got pimples"
+++
laurie anderson
'walking and falling'
+++
mmm
that smokes nice
+++
"we do th hardest thing we can do till we fall down"
+++
what else is there to do ?
+++
"sit on th couch and wait to die"
fuck that
+++
presidents of th united states
'candy'
+++
did she have to b a blonde ?
+++
"at least it wasnt another redhead paulie"
shiver
+++
it's always a fuckin blonde isnt it ?
yur pedallin along
nicely out of it
catchin waves in th surf
on a real bike
and here's some fuckin blonde
nice tits, a cute arse
fine features and
not another one
can i run this one down ?
wants a light for her cigarette
and say hi to th wizard
and a photo with me
am i stoned enough to talk to this one ?
i stopped
i must be
.
.
.
the single wizard
+++
p.s.
placebo
'running up that hill'
+++
take a fuckin bigger problem to knock me down...