good natured doormat ( seeks firetruck )
coffee man
+++
dont know what i was thinking
+++
i
ve been reinstated back to
006.999
so it's all good right
+++
so was windows makin intellgient comment on my writing ?
AI
or am i psychic ?
+++
turing test doesnt work well with psychic vibes added
+++
music on fuck ya
robbie williams and nicole kidman
'somethin stupid'
i dig it
+++
play
+++
half brick on standby
+++
"more drugs over here"
+++
stupid fuckin media player
.
.
.
and breathe out
nice hydro
good ganga
+++
E&OE
+++
kevin bloody wilson
'sunday morning'
+++
th wizard's diary
still exists
in th underground
newsnet
gone feral
+++
ya supposed to peel yur prawns before ya eat em
hmmm
+++
like tryin to have a quiet fuck with a chook
+++
he's got a way with words
+++
c'mere chicken
dont mind th maskin tape
+++
now what was it again
ya think
before stuffin th unicycle down th hill that cant be ridden down
"jeez nickie kidman's got a cute bum"
that'll do
ah shit
i made it
+++
alanis morrisettee
'ironic'
+++
"spelled wrong wiz"
yeah
i know
++
runnin for th phone in th nuddie
gotta hate that
+++
"i had some kind thought of you today"
+++
oh dear
+++
i could just drop th mobile phone
+++
afroman
'high'
+++
hmm
sounds good to me
scuse i
.
.
.
nice computer
dont freak me out
.
.
.
i know
it sucks i dont have to practise on th wheel
much
what it is to be a master
+++
might go for a fly later in th evening
see how i feel
no music for th ears
+++
no way girl
i turned up for th last do
to meet yur boyfriend
+++
good reason you named yur cat schiz
+++
'you a pothead fokker ?'
+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'track no11'
+++
sorry
+++
no
+++
i'm quite sure
+++
you can go and get fucked
+++
"ex girlfriend called me up"
i dont think so
she aint caught me on th phone all week
+++
"prick"
+++
fuck er
i'm being difficult
+++
where'd th coffee go ?
scuse i
.
.
.
budgie
'breadfan'
now hang on
that aint coffee
"ya forgot to take th coffee cup with ya"
"orange drink man"
fuck
+++
35% orange juice
+++
fuckin near 20 percent sugar
i'm sure
+++
janes addiction
'jane says'
+++
now look jane
it's like this honey
+++
i cant afford yur gambling addiction
+++
sorry and all that
love tarz
+++
p.s.
wish you could go down on yurself
try th maid
+++
think somebody's birthday has slipped by
+++
"dr death lived up to his reputation"
got him that time
"dr death ? "
no
th phone
keep up jen
+++
"havin three exgirlfriends get in touch"
"was too much liek th old days"
+++
kylie
'track no8'
+++
miss mini gooey
+++
u go girl
+++
it came to me
in a dream
+++
"u wish"
+++
i could have a wet dream one day
+++
.
.
.
+++
revenge is a dish
best served with coconut sauce
+++
"ya got curry buried in it right ?"
<<< smile >>>
+++
cat stevens
'where do th children play ?'
+++
i dunno
if they;re like me
while they're throwin things into th wok
i know it seems odd
a black australian man
workin as an asian cook
i giggled a lot
+++
never known anything
could build arms liek
drivin a wok
+++
was worse than humpin sugar for a livin
+++
least i done different things
+++
a perfect circle
'magdalena'
+++
ok jennifer
th wheel's bent
left crank has a one mill wobble
and i got four spokes that are talkin to me
as i ride down th road
bit pissy
+++
thang
more drugs over here
i bought e fuckin nough
long weekend
+++
why are you in my head morticia ?
+++
george kept playin last night
+++
city high
'best friends'
+++
he wouldnt listen
you were my weekend girlfriend at th time
and you wouldnt listen to him
+++
here cum th shitbox land rover
ready for today's tales ?
i better be
.
.
.
pearl jam
'black'
that's me
that;s who he calls me
black
funny as
his son suggested th range rover too
i got a blast
funny as
+++
the kinks
'susannah's still alive'
+++
[second pass]
"what name of son's mother ?"
sue
[second pass]
oh ok
+++
they;re goin away on a four wheel drive weekend
+++
have fun little brother
+++
i know who you had dinner with last night
+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'track no16'
+++
fuck off windows
+++
isnt it supposed to be random ?
more drugs over here
my windows is broken
+++
showing life signs
+++
quick
kill it
+++
"history so strong"
+++
all i know is
this hydro is really quite mellow
not bad for skunk
+++
here's to nice weed
+++
nirvana
'pennyroyal tea'
+++
hmm
+++
was th first one to have a title
three in a row
+++
"wronguns"
+++
ya have to know when to spin
says the stoners bible
+++
i'm on my coffee now
he had a fight with brucie on th phone last night
brucie was pissy
ya know better man
+++
i mean
come on
+++
hi wog
+++
english scottish australian
looks more wog than i do
i'm only jugoslavian by prick relations
+++
he did tell me to get fucked
but in a nice way
+++
tool
'cesaro summability'
+++
there ya go wog
i love it
+++
now tell me windows understands wog
i tell ya
+++
it all fits together
cums with bein a
background singer
and drummer
+++
smashing pumpkins
'1979'
+++
black and wog
in a
shitty old datsun bluebird
in 1979
runnin from th coppers
and not makin it
damn
+++
wog was drivin
his brothers car
no exhaust
thru th middle of town
i was along for th giggle factor
+++
1979
pissing on city hall
coppers hand on th shoulder
oh dear
th constabulary
+++
what's it look like i'm doin ?
do i haveta piss on yur leg for you to get it ?
+++
he got it
+++
just makin a social comment
+++
city high
'caramel'
+++
actually
it says
unknown artist
but it aint
but windows is still right
+++
i still havent been arrested for havin magnetic geckoes on th bonnet
four of em havin a corroboree
on th lip
one in front of th wheel
+++
brucie loves th alien skull in th back window
+++
the kinks
'death of a clown'
+++
i'll leave it to ya brother
+++
he got another war goin on
on th phone
u got too many friends man
+++
"the surfers clown"
"morticia's clown"
the personality ?
"<<< smile >>>"
+++
test crush dummies
'mmm mmm mmm'
+++
think it's mis spelt
+++
no auto save in notepad
save early and save often
+++
"skin samples ?"
maybe
+++
we put in that wetting agent
makes it more wet
"hey ?"
for th firetruck
"k"
+++
i'm sorry
i refused to strip
i had my reasons
+++
city high
'sista'
+++
fuck off
+++
i dont think she'll ever figure it out
th pheremone jungle
"not our fault"
+++
"hey tarz"
+++
fuck er
+++
put a bedroom in th firetruck
hidden
open th open plan house
back it in
close th door
paulie's home
to hit th road
open house
drive out firetruck
been done
but doable again
jane knew this guy
but then
she had been a millionnaire
+++
got in a real spin
goin out with jane
and morticia
at th same time
was worse than
bree and morticia
cause i was fuckin both
and brutally honest about it
read my online diary
<<< smile >>>
it's how ya learn
+++
deep purple
'child in time'
+++
alright purple
what happened to ya ?
+++
brucies dead brother
bobbie
he love this song
+++
u remember him hey purple
+++
no fear
till th cancer got im
+++
when i rebuilt th starter motor
in yur land rover
on th beach on frazer island
where was th one percenter then ?
+++
but then
you owned a harley
+++
th man i remember
rode a kwaka nine
and went monkey for me in my sidecar
and rode his nine beside my solo v four
at 190 plus
and enjoyed every fuckin second
.
.
.
+++
never forget you
+++
tequila in a pissant country pub
on a sunday arv
and
we've left yur wheels at home
and my big wheels at home
everythins runnin
we're just in one of those moods
and we're cruisin th local pubs
on my kwaka hundred
kermit
a toy motorcycle in lime green
wearin bike leather still
and attitudes firmly in place
helps we were known
but not everywhere
you know how it is
no hurry to get anywhere
and cartin a carton of beer throwdowns for th journey
from pub to pub
pickin up hitch hikers
to th next pub
arrivin
four up
on a hundred
with water pistols blazin
i dunno where th cops are
we didnt see any
must be psychic
<<< smile >>>
+++
massive attack
'protection'
+++
they'd never listen to me
but if i turned left
th whole pack followed
+++
and i was on th first bike in th group
+++
we always get there man
+++
had to push sometimes
added to th excitement goin over th mountain
i think i can
no i fuckin cant
get off and push ya fat prick
+++
so why are you wearin a bike helmet man ?
are you special or somethin ?
turn around
no-one else is
+++
i did the
stack of
helmet fines
on a motorbike
and then i did the
stack of
helmet fines
on a unicycle
let those who ride decide
+++
did community service for th unicycle fines
seemed funnier at th time
and worth more than i was earnin
per hour like
+++
well actually
i drank coffee at th steam museum
for my community service
well out of it and
tellin and listenin to stories
you know
least till th inspector had been
you can go home paulie
cool man
+++
how do ya steal th front end off a steam engine ?
in a childs playground
at midnight
not an urban myth
fact
+++
i know nuthing
and th old fella's long dead
+++
suck shit
+++
i dont care what ya read elsewhere
they did not have th collusion of th coppers
+++
smashing pumpkins
'rat in a cage'
+++
ah cmon man
they were in their eighties
+++
'supervisin like"
+++
they bolted another one on it
i'm ok with it
even gave it a quick paint job
+++
id liek th mythbusters to explain how old lady jennifer
th steam traction engine up th road
bit me that time
static shock
and then bit graham th driver
when he laughed at me
we were puttin her heart back in
lubricatin pump
th thing that keeps th old bitch wet
sorry dear
we shouldnt have called ya a heavy bitch
nearly bust a nut
then ya broke down th next time you were run anyway
jeez yur a fat cow
+++
khia
'lick my pussy'
+++
jennifer
+++
think an engine as old as you
would behave yurself better
+++
"maybe he didnt have mechanical sympathy"
+++
miss you too jennifer
+++
"are we there yet ?"
page 48
+++
"i cant be bothered"
it's in yur memory
"robbie dropped over some more memory"
i'll call my umm
computer fixit girl over to have a bopeep
she can do th cd rom in th other beast while she's at it
new one's arrived
+++
ben folds
'brick'
+++
and it should have been
i cant be fuckin bothered
"ah yeah, yur right"
+++
the kuta ladies are talkin again
how long till they
start climbin on each other's fingers again
is anybody's guess
still seems weird to associate her with a boyfriend
no
i dont wanna cum to yur boyfriends thirtieth on saturday night
+++
fuckin jennifer
got me in a strip club
sittin with hayley
in a strip club
front row
with jennifer
th kuta lady
hittin on all th girls
just had a huge fight with
her lady
on top of kuta
th mountain
called me in
kuta man
to try and get some order
+++
placebo
'i'll be yours'
+++
spent half th night
sinkin piss
with jennifer's current
girlfriend
+++
i stopped drinkin in that strip club
when they mistook me for a punter
i know it was good for me
pushin th limits
of what i can take my body into
+++
then kuta lady faded off th scene
+++
regurgitator
'blubber boy' (riding th wave of fashion)
+++
i had to stop dancin with girls
i'm not screwin
+++
means i dance less
which is probably a good thing
+++
when i found myself dancin with five women
on a regular basis
i thought maybe
i might change my rules
+++
but bree could drag her pussy on th floor
and i could drag my nuts on th floor behind er
+++
donna summer
'i remember yesterday - i feel love'
+++
spanish danish and not afraid of th camera
+++
did ya ever find another dance partner ?
catwoman/lee didnt
last i heard
+++
owned a dance shop
and
outshone th other girls
+++
morticia
th one of th witches of eastwick i was fucking
would go to another bar
and take phone numbers for durin th week
she knew i'd be in her bed in th morning
and in brees on sunday
+++
was my golden age i guess
dancin in a nightclub with five girls
with facepaint on
after flyin a surfboard thru th crowd
on a unicycle
th girl behind th bar
would pour me triple bourbons
and charge me
minus one drink
you know
pay for one drink
receive th change to buy two drinks
i remember yesterday
+++
helps i wrote it down at th time
+++
tenacious d
'lee'
+++
tall
too tall for me
redhead
even worse
frizzy hair
bout as thick and frizzy as mine
frenzied dancer
+++
coldplay
'yellow'
+++
i'd sit and sing this song
to warm up my voice
with bree
before goin out to sing till dawn with womble
pendin on
how many of th girls were in town
surfers paradise town that is
+++
we got it off
napster
when it was runnin
beautiful thing you
+++
i got given a new one th other day
havent tried it yet
how bad th trojans this time?
+++
hi beautiful lady
"i had some kind thought of you today sabrina"
+++
morticia was a lot more mellow
when i was fuckin jane
just jane wasnt
you know
she was a natural redhead
+++
fuck i miss ya bree
+++
city high
'three way'
+++
ya wouldnt fuckin share me would ya's ?
slept in two beds evry weekend
+++
both studyin how to be a counsellour
and all three of us drivin a little silver hatch car
+++
jess thought it was fuckin cute
+++
when morticia and i took you to get yur hair cut
that day
everybody thought th three of us were sleepin together
+++
kevin bloody wilson
'stack the fridge'
+++
my toe got run over by a forklift
th wizard retired for a good long while
started catchin up on my diarizing
+++
i still remember that first day bree
when i told minka to put up or shut up
and fuck me in th girls toilets
and your were playin with my leg under th table
deny it till ya die
i was there
+++
the kinks
'plastic man'
+++
"i remember morticia chuckin a dirty look at er"
yeah but they all wanted bikie mike
"famous drummer man"
k
'we did a gig with him at xmas with him and womble"
yeah
many many hours late to a date with morticia
got home four am
xmas morning
supposed to be in around
ah you know
bout eleven
seven french girls
private party
and we were th entertainment
i say nuthing more
+++
ah c'mon babe
+++
and womble gave away most of my pot
+++
no he's looked after me
+++
mik
'A2'
+++
it's a woman cuming
+++
i think th shit has definitely hit th fan
+++
the kinks
'dead end street'
+++
th thing i really liked about morticia
when other women took me away
was how she got off
on th stories afterwards
made her wet
no shit dear
this single bed had a
mirror either end
wild redhead chick
that me and catwoman picked up dancin
climbed on womble
catwoman's chucked a spack
so i did her at her house
jeez i dunno
did i get in another porno ?
+++
tell me th one about that swedish guy again
+++
the offspring
'staring at th sun'
+++
in happy tree friends
it'd probably blow up
blood and brains everywhere
+++
"when are ya goin to ride eunice bree ?"
+++
it's always th way
yur goin out with two girls
foo fighters
'learn to fly'
[second pass]
'she rode th unicycle backwards three pedals on her first attempt wiz"
'why ya left one with her"
fuck off narrator function
[second pass]
and one wants a threesome with two guys
and one wants a threesome with two girls
it's never just right
+++
life wasnt meant to be easy
even if they are pretty
+++
maybe if i get really stoned and i dont think about it
it'll all work out
ah no
that;s how i got here
+++
although
i did find things th doctors didnt
that helped
+++
"in synchronicity"
"surfin th net"
+++
meant to read it
cause u found it
+++
midnight oil
'golden age'
+++
<<< smile >>>
+++
robbie williams and nicole kidman
'somethin stupid'
+++
pause
that's me gone to wash my hair
.
.
.
perhaps
perhaps
perhaps
i'll chop my marijuana finer
but then
.
.
.
th universe is rigged
im out smokin drugs till happy tree friends cums on
later
.
.
.
coffee man
+++
p.s.
unpause
+++
sam's twin sister
will she get a look in ?
+++
we'll ask windows
haveta see what cums next
still waiting
i'm bored
can i have a ...
+++
?
'01'
+++
hmmm
it's
good charlotte
according to th properties
hmm
<<< smile >>>
i dunno...
+++
one banana
two banana
three banana
four
i forget th fuckin words
and so do many more...
LAH LAH LAH...