He'll be stumbling in favour of useful Jim until his ring analyses almost.
Russell Miller
NANAE Kook FAQ for new NANAE visitors
This FAQ is intended as a brief primer to the kooks who hang around in NANAE. For the purposes of this FAQ, a "kook" is defined as someone who has a complete disconnect with reality, and is likely to draw the uninformed newbie into their web of lies and deceit. At the end of each listing there will be a pile of links that you can follow to learn more about your favorite kook.
This isn't at all meant to be exhaustive documentation, just a place where newbies can be pointed to learn more.
Moris
Moris is without a doubt one of the most prolific posters to NANAE. He appears to have posted initially approximately two years ago (as of August 2004), complaining about being listed in SPEWS for whatever reason. He apparently didn't find the answers he was looking for, because he quickly morphed into what can only be called an "anti-spews kook". Moris is best known for his personal tirades against anyone who disagrees with him, labelling them "Spews kooks", "spews puppets", "insane spews puppets", and many variations on the preceding. He prefers never to argue based on facts, and when pressed he can never provide any answers to legitimate questions about his point of view.
Moris particularly likes to pounce on people who come to NANAE in the hopes of getting their SPEWS listings removed, painting everyone else in the group as fanatics. Occasionally, newbies are drawn into Moris's web of lies and deceit. Most of the other denizens of the newsgroup try hard to avert this, but it is hoped that his listing in this FAQ will help the newbie to make up their own mind.
Here are some links regarding Moris's past and present behavior:
Jamie Baillie
Jamie is a very sad individual. His stay on NANAE has been, to say the least, tumultuous, and this author considers the chance of anyone with half a brain too smart to ever fall for Jamie's tricks and lies. His escapades are way too many to list here, so instead, a list of characteristics of Jamie will be listed here, along with links to more information. You may want to block out an hour or two just to read it, you're almost guaranteed to find it hysterical.
Jamie is well known for long, incoherent, and rambling "larts" - that is, complaints sent to internet providers about alleged spammers. His larts can be easily distinguished by the many hundreds of lines of irrelevant and hard to plow through data, such as whois, traceroute, text from webpages, etc. He tends to send these larts to tens of addresses at a time, some whom are not at the least capable of dealing with the issue and some who have nothing whatsoever to do with the site or mailbox he's trying to get removed. This author thinks that it would make a good parlor game to try to figure out what any given email address from one of Jamie's larts actually has to do with the lart.
Jamie is also known for his intolerance of criticism. Anyone who disagrees with him is branded as an "abusive prick", an "asshole", or plenty of other names too numerous to enumerate here. When this criticism goes above a threshhold that only he knows, he begins to send larts about this person to their ISP. Jamie is well known for escalating these larts with a dogged determination to anyone that he thinks is capable of putting the person or organization who just blew him off in their place. This usually happens, in order:
- The site's provider.
- The site's provider's provider.
- Any other providers.
- The ultimate upstream - the tier 1.
- The police where the tier 1 is located (sometimes, but the police in some tangentially related locality are sometimes substituted.)
- The police detective's immediate superiors, attempting to get the detective arrested..
- The police chief.
- ..
In spite of all this, is he harmless? This author believes that other than the annoyance factor and the minor risk that an abuse desk may actually take his complaints seriously, probably not. Jamie is more of an entertainment than anything else, and has provided countless hours of entertainment to the NANAE denizens who have had to deal with him, as well as to abuse desks (one tier 1 has taken to posting his larts in the lunchroom for laughs, as this author understands). As long as you don't actually cross the line into actionable behavior, a few tweaks here and there should provide you with a bit of entertainment for a slow day.
This author fully expects to receive a lart for this page.
Jamie is also well known for a characteristic writing style. You can usually tell a genuine Jamie posts by the lack of commas, extreme run-on sentences, and misspellings such as "harasing", "defamitory", and "tollerated". He will also sometimes start a missive with "first off", and never say what the second is, and his quoting style is nonexistent, causing the stats-bot to erroneously attribute an absurdly high percentage of original content to him. He also posts a copyright message to the bottom of his posts, which is frequently mocked and made fun of. Unfortunately, due to the simplicity of Jamie's writing style, it is easy to mock, therefore, coupled with his propensity to rape proxies, it is usually next to impossible to verify a post actually originated from him. A good rule of thumb to remember, however, is that if Jamie vehemently denies having originated a post, the odds are good that he, in fact, did.
Links:
FreeSpeechStore
FreeSpeechStore is an interesting type of kook. He runs a message board called "The Free Speech Store", whose entire premise is that anyone can say anything they want, but you have to pay to post or read.
He's well known for his viciousness and his propensity for empty legal threats. Fortunately, he prefers to spread his abuse on his own website, rather than on NANAE - he only posts on NANAE when he feels that he needs to. The risk of him actually causing you any material damage is low.
He has made mention of dodging bullets. This author suspects that perhaps he was in a war a while ago, and didn't come home with a full deck of cards.
He and Moris are known to be collaborators.
Links
Sun Tsu/Bananananae/Right Only
This is perhaps the most dangerous kook of all listed so far. This is because he is somewhat well-spoken and coherent, and as such, lends himself to a certain amount of credibility. Fortunately, that vanishes as soon as he tries to say something of import.
Sun Tsu, aka "bananananae", is well known for his adoration of Sun Tsu's "the art of war", a fact which in itself says that he is not too good at putting it into practice (a true adherent of Sun Tsu's writings, in this author's opinion, would flat out deny having read his books). This really is neither here nor there, though, although it does provide one explanation for the kooky behavior about to be described.
The thing that makes Sun Tsu a kook is his dogged determination to stick to information that has been proven faulty, and his propensity to attack others based on that faulty information. Relentlessly. He will use anything at his disposal to achieve his aims (whatever they are). Some methods that he has already attempted to use are:
- Threatening to publicise an open posting on the web that a NANAE regular authored unless his demands are met. Fortunately, the posting that he found only contained damaging information in his own mind, so in typical Sun Tsu fashion, the attempt backfired. He has, however, proven he is not above it.
- He is also not above using any means at his disposal to try to discredit someone that he has taken a dislike to.
The chance of him actually causing any damage is low, but the reader is advised not to engage him in a battle. He will cause much more damage to himself than the reader could possibly hope to inflict.
Alan Connor
Alan Connor is more of a classic kook. He is an avid proponent of Challenge/Response systems, which is at least somewhat on topic for NANAE. However, he is known for not only levelling personal attacks, that this author is sure that he finds devastating but most everyone else shrugs off, but for his dogged determination to convert the world to Challenge/Response. The reader is advised to read the following links for examples of his kookishness.
Links:
Brad Jesness
Oh, where to start with this one. This author won't even try, and instead points you to the link below where you can learn all about this kook.
Links
Roger Ladd Bratton
aka "Cletis Perkins", aka "Boxman", aka "Roger the Boxman", and too many other aliases to list here.
It would be a stretch to call this person a troll, as what he does doesn't even really rise to the level of trollishness. It is thought that he posts for attention, but no one is certain as to what his motives are. One can be reasonably sure, however, that he has some psychological problems, and this author doubts that he is even aware that what he is doing is wrong.
Roger's posts can usually be identified by posting from an aol address where the name is the same as the username. He usually crossposts to a series of unrelated groups, usually news.admin.net-abuse.email, alt.cellular.verizon, alt.firefighters, misc.emergency-services, and alt.cellular.sprintpcs. When he is not posting things with no content repeatedly (flooding), he is accusing several people, this author included, of some pretty heinous things. He is also well known for his expressed hatred of non-whites, and when he begins posting to a newsgroup he tends to raise quite a firestorm. Several groups have moved to a moderated group because of this - where he instead forges approved headers.
Sometimes he puts out poorly worded but graphic threats against people on the groups he posts to. These should probably be ignored.
Once he attaches to someone, he does not usually let go, posting things about people for a long time after they vanish from usenet.
It is thought that Boxman and Jamie are collaborating, as there appear to be two distinct styles of posts coming from the Boxman persona - and some of them bear the hallmark Jamie style of misspelling.
This kook poses a low risk of actual harm, but his postings are extremely annoying. It is not recommended to try to take on this kook directly, as the only thing that will be accomplished is a stepping up of his attacks. If ever there were a perfect candidate for a killfile, Roger is it.
Dave Topping
Please refer to this posting to understand why this individual was added to this FAQ. The author does not maintain that this person is a kook on the level of Jamie, Moris, etc., but this post exhibits such a colossal lack of a sense of humor that newbies need to be warned never to attempt a joke in his presence, as results akin to joking with Jamie (above) may result.
The author wishes to reiterate that Dave Topping is not, as of yet, to be considered a true "kook", but that his entry in this FAQ is, instead, to be considered a warning to those who are not as mind-numbingly humor impaired as the above referenced post appears to indicate Dave is.
The irrelevant whois material appears to indicate someone who studied at the Jamie Baillie school of larting, but this resemblance is, hopefully, purely superficial.
Scott Davis
Scott is regarded by many on NANAE to be a shill for Python Video. This author has no facts to back up this claim, but as at least one person who believes this is respected by the author, the author will state this fact and move on.
Scott is classified as a kook because of a posting stating publically that he supports Moris, and has asked Moris previously if he would like to work together to try to bring down SPEWS. Because of his association and sympathies with Moris, he has been classed a "kook by association", with all the duties and privileges thereof.
Please note that Scott has done enough, including morphing to evade killfiles and other antisocial behavior, to be classed a kook in his own right, but his association with Moris was the straw that broke the camel's back and tipped him into full-fledged kookdom.
Anyone who supports Moris in anything that is not independently verifiable fact also runs the risk of being branded a kook and earning their very own entry in this FAQ.
Bill Logan, Charles Sweeney, Els, Allis, Baho Utut, et al
This is not one kook but a whole swarm of them. These people originally were exposed to NANAE through an errant crosspost from alt.www.webmaster. They have proven themselves combative, nasty, and clue-resistant. The latter (clue-resistance), is what the author believes makes them qualified to have a place on this page.
So far, the thread "affordablehosting tos" has gone to near 1500 posts (1441 as of this writing, and that's only the posts on NANAE), and appears to show no signs of abating. In this, the above posters (and several others) have shown tendencies to spam sympathizing, and worse, resist all attempts to clue them in to where they are mistaken, resorting to ad hominem attacks and other idiocy.
This author believes that they are completely harmless, but doesn't recommend getting into a battle of wits with them, as doing battle with unarmed people is not sporting.
Misc
This author has probably missed a few kooks, and will doubtless be adding to this FAQ as more make themselves known. Please email rmi...@duskglow.com with corrections and updates. Please note that mail from the kooks listed above is NOT welcome and will result in an abuse complaint to your service provider.
Russell Miller
salt
black, white and cayenne peppers
celery salt
garlic powder
parsley flakes
brown sugar
1 teaspoon sage
2 onions
6 cloves garlic
bunch green onions, chopped
Cut the children?s butts and the beef roast into pieces
that will fit in the grinder.
Run the meat through using a 3/16 grinding plate.
Add garlic, onions and seasoning then mix well.
Add just enough water for a smooth consistency, then mix again.
Form the sausage mixture into patties or stuff into natural casings.
Stillborn Stew
By definition, this meat cannot be had altogether fresh,
but have the lifeless unfortunate available immediately after delivery,
or use high quality beef or pork roasts (it is cheaper and better to
cut up a whole roast than to buy stew meat).
1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed
¼ cup vegetable oil
2 large onions
bell pepper
celery
garlic
½ cup red wine
3 Irish potatoes
2 large carrots
This is a simple classic stew that makes natural gravy,
thus it does not have to be thickened.
Brown the meat quickly in very hot oil, remove and set aside.
Brown the onions, celery, pepper and garlic.
De-glaze with wine, return meat to the pan and season well.
Stew on low fire adding small amounts of water and
seasoning as necessary.
After at least half an hour, add the carrots and potat
Russell Miller
Add the garlic and onions and cook down a bit.
Add some lemon juice and some zest, then de-glaze with stock.
Add a little cornstarch (dissolved in cold water) to the sauce.
You are just about there, Pour the sauce over the cutlets,
top with parsley, lemon slices and cracked pepper.
Serve with spinach salad, macaroni and cheese (homemade) and iced tea...
Spaghetti with Real Italian Meatballs
If you don?t have an expendable bambino on hand,
you can use a pound of ground pork instead.
The secret to great meatballs, is to use very lean meat.
1 lb. ground flesh; human or pork
3 lb. ground beef
1 cup finely chopped onions
7 - 12 cloves garlic
1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
½ cup milk, 2 eggs
Oregano
basil
salt
pepper
Italian seasoning, etc.
Tomato gravy (see index)
Fresh or at least freshly cooked spaghetti or other pasta
Mix the ground meats together in a large bowl,
then mix each of the other ingredients.
Make balls about the size of a baby?s fist
(there should be one lying around for reference).
Bake at 400°for about 25 minutes -
or you could fry them in olive oil.
Place the meatballs in the tomato gravy, and simmer for several hours.
Serve on spaghetti.
Accompany with green salad, garlic bread