There is no hope for that, that's inherent to the flash technology, a limited number of write cycles. Wear leveling only makes the flash lives longer, as it distributes the newly appeared bad block around the chip. That's why swap on USB devices is disabled by default on Alt-F.
But you already know all that.
It is possible that either minidlna or sqlite put an extra stress on the flash, don't know. Memory Caching/Buffering (which is automatic) could alleviate that to a certain extent, but the DNS-323 has very low memory for caching/buffering to be effective. Simple filesystems such as ext2 or vfat (not journaled), should also help.
This rises the question on how does minidlna/sqlite (or as a matter of fact any database oriented app) performs on computers with SSD... don't know, never searched for that.
Will minidlna/sqlite perform unnecessary updates (writes) on the database? Or does your media files change frequently? Or do you have the minidlna "rescan shares" option turned on? Every one of those would explain the flash short life.
Just to let you know, on Alt-F "settings" are stored on the box flash memory, and the reason why configuration changes are not immediately saved to flash and instead you have to deliberately "save settings when done" is precisely to diminish the number of writes to the flash memory (that on the 323/321 can be as low as 10000 writes).