Kuebiko Novel

[Malcolm Lozada]

PersonallyI cannot understand romance in movies. They are absolutely non sequitur and take up way too much screen time. Also, romance is used as an unnecessary plot device for creating conflict, because the conflict could have been avoided if the character had just not fallen in love, which to me, is the most totally reasonable thing to do, but apparently not for the character.

I would prefer to see action and scenes where I actually understand what's going on. Also kissing scenes are by far the worse because it's unnecessarily emotional, you get a fucking close up on the couple's lips which is fucking gross, it's taking up precious screentime and the precedence for the kiss never makes sense.

I hate cheesy stuff but that's just me. I love romance if it goes alongside the plot and makes sense/the characters have chemistry, I just don't find it interesting when it IS the plot, or when it seems inorganic. Especially your run of the mill white hetero movies plots. It's almost condescending to hear how difficult and beautiful and unique this epic love story between an upper class white woman and a lower middle class white man is... like come on. Or when two characters are put together simply because... every single movie ever needs a romance plot, I guess? Fuck if I know.

Honestly it doesn't even bother me that it's something I'll never have. I mean, sometimes I feel sad about it (I was watching the episode of The Office last night where Jim and Pam get married), but not that much. Edit: even when I feel sad, it's more that I feel sad that I won't WANT to have it, I really feel no desire to have that, it's not like I feel like I actually want it but just "can't" have it. I'm envious of the characters' ability to want that, not of the fact that they do have it I don't, if that makes sense.

Mostly what pisses me off is the constant assumption that I, personally, must experience romantic and sexual attraction. You can hardly get two feet without somebody assuming that you want sex/romance. I suppose one reason to dislike romance movies is that that feeds into it. You see a romance movie and everyone is going "isn't [main white actor] so hot?? do you wish you could find a guy like that??" NO! I don't lol, and he's not even that great anyway.

I like romance in general and there have been some romance novels that I've liked. It's the fact that our media is over saturated with romance that irritates me. You don't need to pair everyone in every story. We don't need 80% of the music on the radio to be about romance. There are so many other kinds of relationships and dynamics that are interesting to explore but hardly anyone does and that's frustrating. And when every story you hear the motivation for every main character is their love for a significant other, it can make you feel isolated and less human when it's not a motivation in your life.

In movies and TV if it serves a purpose other than just *I feel we need boobs on screen now*. Even GoT has a lot of sex but it's world-building and makes sense to have it most of the time, but in some cases it's like the directors feel they need to have it for the ratings and then it just feels corny so I care not for it.

I would hazard a guess that it's down to the inability (or at least problems) to relate to the subject. Romance stories hardly ever make SENSE to me, because they describe experiences I don't make that way. I have trouble relating to the characters in romance stories/movies or to the emotions described in romantic/sexual songs. I feel the same way about movies/songs that deal with other things I don't enjoy/don't care about.

Add to that the fact that romance is a very common topic. It's like the commercial for a product you don't care about or don't want to have, that keeps coming on again and again, blaring from your radio when you're driving the car, when you're at work or at home, potentially 24/7. I don't hate romance. I don't hate electric tooth brushes, either. Throw them at me with enough persistence and I will get annoyed by either of them.

I don't mind romance songs. I have playlists that contain many of them. I for example quite like Meat Loaf's music. It's full of romance, but the music is good. If it's my own playlist, I don't have to listen to anything romancy if I don't want to at the time. I can always put on something else. At home, with my own music library to call on, I can put on Nightwish's latest album and listen to songs about evolution. My own music collection contains a real lot of non-romance songs, so when in a long playlist the occasional romance song comes on, it doesn't matter.

Radio music is different. You can't skip a song you find annoying. Most of the time, it's not even my radio, but someone else, so I can't go turn it off. You have to listen to the same couple of songs over and over again because they're popular at the time. Most popular songs seem to be about romance. Songs about friendship, family, or just other things in life, like traveling, hobbies, heck, the weather or whatever, are very rare in comparison. It's like the commercial. It gets repetitive. And after a while, it gets tiring in its repetitiveness.

I realize that the large majority of people are neither ace nor aro (or frickin' close to it). I am aware that most people can relate to these songs/plots, and that to them it doesn't feel alien. I also realize that if you remove the feeling of being unable to really relate, the topic is most likely not near as annoying. I could probably listen to friendship songs non-stop, because I value friendship very much. The large majority of people values romance a lot: it's an important part of their experience in life. Same goes for sex. For most people, it's normal and important in their life. It makes sense that it's in movies and songs a lot. It's in people's lives a lot!

Just not in mine. To me, these common things are of little to no interest. It is a natural consequence that I get tired of them and catch myself thinking "geez, not that again", but most people don't feel that way. I'm (or we, as aces and arospec people) are the odd ones out. Probably you hear so much whining about it here on AVEN because it's a safe space for a minority. Here, you know a lot of users make the same or similar experience to you, so it's a good place to vent.

I don't mind a well constructed romance story where you care for the characters and their relationship, so I'm more likely to enjoy watching it in a tv series. Having romance randomly added to action films or whatever is just jarring though, there's no need for it.

Watching hetero sex on screen is just uncomfortable mainly, it often seems completely shoehorned in or illogical. I've realised that this is true of sexuals in real life though too, a friend once lived with a bunch of people who kept sleeping with each other and it cause loads of tension in the house and in their friendships, and I couldn't understand why they would even bother having sex if it was so much faff. It seems like sex can make people do stupid stuff.

There is this book written by Nick Hornby called "Fever Pitch" where he describes what it's like to be a football fan. (That book is awesome by the way, if you ever want to know what's going on inside the mind of a sports geek, read this.) Anyways, they made a film which is supposed to be based on the book when in reality... it isn't. Half of the movie is spent paving the way of him getting together with a woman and I thought "Woah, what a waste of movie time!" It can be really annoying if it clearly has nothing to do with the topic.

It's also annoying when the scenes are way too unrealistic. How often have you seen a guy with 400 flowers in his hands, running to the check-in of an airport to prevent his love from leaving the country in real life? My guess: zero times.

Music is where it's most obvious. So many people think that their love story is somewhat special, so they totally have to write a song about it. In the end the lyrics of their song are exactly like in most of the four gazillion love songs which are already there. It's not as special as they want the audience to believe it is. When you look at it from an outsider's perspective and you discover that this song could be directed towards almost anyone, there's no "special" appeal to it.

Boredom, I'd say, disinterest in the subject. I don't mind romance, but I don't like it being the main subject, all those classic things that happen in romance movies are, in my opinion, creepy and stalkerish. I don't get why the girl (it's pretty much always a girl) actually falls for the guy. I don't mind small romances, though even then I'm yelling at the screen fairly often XD I'm rewatching Burn Notice right now, and yelling at Michael and Fiona to forget about each other and move on with their lives. My other friends wanted them to get together, and I wanted them apart forever because it doesn't make sense to me. So I guess I just like romance if I can understand. I liked Benny and Joon, let crazy and crazy go together, makes sense, Benny's protective nature made sense. As much as I want a relationship, I don't always understand other people's.

Heh, until recently I always just chalked up my general dislike for a majority of pop to my personality quirks. Nice to see I am not the only one who thinks it is a load of rubbish. I appreciate a bit of creativity when it comes to music, so please, break up song after phony love song, it is a wonder I don't fall asleep. Hmm. Perhaps I should slow down a bit, this is all sounding a bit scathing, but I hope you all will understand that I have to vent now and again.

As for romance in movies, the Princess Bride is perfect, but beyond that I have little patience for it. I just really hate it when two characters have to go from being great friends to being romantically involved. I really like relating to characters, but when one of them suddenly discovers they have feelings for one of their friends, that connection just snaps and I feel a bit betrayed. I really shouldn't, I mean, what was I expecting? But once, just once, can't they just be friends?

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