AIWS and Trauma?

[Charlotte]

I'm looking for anyone who has a history of both AIWS and trauma as a child. I had AIWS when I was young, but don't as an adult anymore, yet I have these same exact "episodes" still...over and over again.

The AIWS symptoms I remember having would always be in bed and the walls would either close in on me and I'd feel huge or the walls would move away and I'd feel small compared to everything else in the room. Everytime I felt fine moving, and although I was a little freaked out by how bizarre it was I wouldn't say I was all that scared or "terrified" by it.

I have been diagnosed with PTSD from childhood trauma and I think these "episodes" I'm still having must be a flashback in which I'm feeling the way I did at the time of the trauma in which I was experiencing AIWS and dissociation.

The episodes feel like I'm falling into myself and everything around me starts to feel hard like stone. Then my skin starts to feel the same,and it's like my body disappears, and all I am is a large head made of rock in a hard/rock landscape. I know intellectually that I have a body still, yet I can't feel it there and trying to move even a tiny bit is hard. It feels like I'm literally frozen with fear and have a hard time being able to move my body at all. It's a terrible and horrifying feeling. I just know it must relate to both trying to escape/dissociate from what was happening but during an AIWS episode. Has anyone else had anything similar? Or is there anyone with AIWS who has gone through childhood trauma? I feel so alone with this and have never had anyone else who has had similar episodes or flashbacks. Please help.

[Peter Jorkowski]

I have had it very similar to how you describe, I had some childhood trauma but it was to do with having a benign tumor removed that was sat at the base of my brain, not a brain tumour per se, but the next closest thing. Had it removed 3 times as it kept coming back. My aiws episodes are generally related to my mental fatigue/depression anxiety all that fun stuff. Am ok know though, and have been for a good while. Hope you are doing ok, feel free to chat anytime

[Cactiguy]

Hey Peter, I appreciate you sending this. It's cool to know someone else has experienced what I have.

I never had a tumour (that I was aware of). And while I do also have depression, I have not noticed a connection between the two. It has always slightly concerned me, but never enough to go to a doctor about it. It happens to me less than it used to, but still occurs a few times a year. Glad to hear you don't have it anymore though.

Op ma 8 jul. 2019 11:35 schreef 'Peter Jorkowski' via Alice in Wonderland Syndrome <alice-in-wonde...@googlegroups.com>:

I have had it very similar to how you describe, I had some childhood trauma but it was to do with having a benign tumor removed that was sat at the base of my brain, not a brain tumour per se, but the next closest thing. Had it removed 3 times as it kept coming back. My aiws episodes are generally related to my mental fatigue/depression anxiety all that fun stuff. Am ok know though, and have been for a good while. Hope you are doing ok, feel free to chat anytime

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[Peter Jorkowski]

It's just nice to read other people's experiences and thoughts about it isn't it. Takes away the fear. It caused me a lot of anxiety as a child, but I think I've kind of made my peace with it now, although easy to say when it isn't happening regularly!