It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following
news.
Please join us in remembering a great icon of the
entertainment
community: The Pillsbury Dough Boy died yesterday of a
yeast infection
and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He
was 71. He was a
member of the Church on the Rise. Dough boy was buried
in a lightly
greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay
their respects,
including: Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the
California Raisins, Betty
Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain
Crunch. The grave site was
piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima
delivered the eulogy and lovingly
described Dough Boy as a man how
never knew who much he was kneaded.
Dough Boy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled
with turnovers. He was not
considered a very smart cookie, wasting much
of his dough on half-baked
schemes. Despite being a little flaky at
times, he still, as a
crusty old man, was considered a roll model for
millions. Dough Boy is
survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children,
John Dough and Jane
Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also
survived by his
elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50
for about 20
minutes.