This issue sounds like a really old issue that I fixed ages ago (badly, with a hack... actually the whole reason you have the status indicator in the top corner that turns red is because I didn't know how else to debug and fix this problem back in those days).
If chat's configured and working properly, the indicator will eventually turn red and force a new request, much like it does when you send a new message. How long it waits orange before doing this depends on your refresh timer and your inactive timeout.
If you've changed those two values to some extremes, it could have broken this feature. Try using the defaults and see if it resolves the issue.