I
love this Doctor Q:
Doctor, I've heard that
cardiovascular
exercise can prolong life. Is this
true?
A: Your heart is only good for
so many beats, and that's it...
don't waste them on exercise.
Everything
wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer;
that's
like saying you can extend the life of
your car by driving it faster.
Want
to live longer? Take a nap.
Q:
Should I cut down on meat and
eat more fruits and
vegetables?
A:
You must grasp logistical
efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And
what are these? Vegetables. So a
steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism
of
delivering vegetables to your
system. Need grain?
Eat chicken.
Beef
is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy
vegetable).
And
a pork chop can
give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable
products.
Q:
Should I reduce my alcohol
intake?
A: No, not at all.
Wine is made from fruit.
Brandy is distilled wine,
that
means they take the water out of the
fruity bit so you get even more
of
the goodness that way. Beer is
also made out of grain. Bottoms
up!
Q:
How can I calculate my body/fat
ratio?
A:
Well, if you have a body and you have
fat, your ratio is one to one.
If
you have two bodies, your ratio is two to
one, etc.
Q:
What are some of the advantages of
participating in a regular exercise
program?
A: Can't think of a single one,
sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good! Q:
Aren't fried foods bad for
you?
A:
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .....
Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil.
In
fact, they're permeated in it. How
could getting more vegetables be bad
for you?
Q:
Will
sit-ups help prevent me from getting
a little soft around the middle?
A:
Definitely not! When you exercise a
muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you
want a bigger stomach.
Q:
Is chocolate bad for me?
A:
Are you crazy? HELLO
Cocoa beans ! Another
vegetable!!! It's
the best feel-good food around!
Q:
Is swimming good for your
figure?
A:
If swimming is good for
your figure, explain whales to
me.
Q:
Is getting in-shape important
for my lifestyle?
A:
Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I
hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you
may have had about food and
diets. And remember:
'Life
should NOT be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved
body, but rather to skid in
sideways -
Chardonnay
in one hand - chocolate in the other
- body thoroughly used up, totally
worn out and screaming 'WOO
HOO, What a Ride'
AND..... For
those of you who watch what you eat,
here's the final word on nutrition and
health. It's a relief to know the
truth after all those conflicting
nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat
very little
fat
and
suffer fewer heart
attacks than
Americans. 2. The
Mexicans eat a lot of
fat
and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink
very little red wine
and
suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans. 4. The
Italians drink a lot of red
wine
and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The
Germans drink a lot of beers
and eat lots of sausages and fats
and
suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.
CONCLUSION Eat
and drink what you like. Speaking
English is apparently what kills
you.
|
|
|
| Dr. Anand Jhawar M.B.,B.S.,D.C.H. (Bombay) CONSULTING SEXOLOGIST Fellow : Council of Sex Education & Parenthood International (CSEPI) Life Member : Indian Association of Sex Educators, Counsellors & Therapists (IASECT) Life Member : Indian Andropause SocietyHonorary Consultant : Family Planning Association of India (FPAI) - Mumbai Branch JHAWAR HOSPITAL,F-6, B-2, RAINBOW APARTMENTSSECTOR- 10,VASHI,NAVI MUMBAI - 400703.MOBILE : 9969132682E-MAIL : dr_aj...@hotmail.com
| |