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I first learned of this thing in history class when I was about 13 years old, and ever since it has been popping into my mind at the strangest and most useful times. While it was impressive even to my teenage self, I notice its wisdom seems to grow even more with each passing year.
If you have basic security, you are finally happy enough seek out family, intimacy, and friendship. From there, you move up to confidence, and earning and cherishing the respect of others. If you are lucky enough to have all of that going on, you get to roam around in the exotic land of self actualization, being creative and moral and working on personal growth.
Oddly enough, the flaw in our rich world is a tripwire that we have set up way down at level 2: security. Our consumer culture encourages us to look upwards and earn respect, sexual intimacy, confidence, and even self actualization with the new Toyota Highlander or Ford F-150, when doing so actually destroys our security. By draining our money, luxuries like cars make us desperately insecure and dependent on constant employment. And by keeping us seated and inactive, they drain our strength and health so our lives become even more precarious.
I found that just understanding Happiness 101 as I presented it above is a gigantic shortcut to living a happy life. Suddenly, you can start weighing every decision against that simple chart. On top of that, you can check your decisions against the wisdom of ancient philosophers, who were simply happiness researchers from the era before formal science.
When raking leaves one fall day, you start to feel sweaty and tired. As if by magic, a Home Depot flyer comes in the afternoon mail which advertises gas-powered leafblowers at 50% off. You are tempted. But will this purchase make you happier?
Learning about a new gadget keeps you on top of technology and may speed up things like checking your heart rate or translating phrases during international travel. But does your life currently suck in any way due to the lack of heart rate data or the difficulty of using Google Translate on your existing phone? If not, you are unlikely to see a happiness boost.
Despite the obvious wisdom of older philosophers, I remain fully engaged with the world, enjoying table saws and craft brews and stock markets along with everyone else. But by simply pausing before each major life decision and comparing it to our real goal of a happy, satisfying life, we can keep the ship moving in a better direction and thus get more from life.
I was thinking about love, esteem, and self-actualization in much broader terms when I wrote my comment. While one can certainly reach for them via the methods you described, I would agree that love is possible independent of marriage, esteem independent of technical work, and self-actualization independent of entrepreneurial pursuits.
Someone volunteering to pick up garbage on the side of the freeway would be feeding into their self actualization I believe and feel happiness from it. But a criminal being forced to do it will be punish, not thinking of themselves as useful. Boiling it down to math again I would assume their utility and the reality is the same. But due to their expectations one of them will feel happiness while the other suffers.
Great article. I find it so easy to get caught up in the trap of wanting things to be a certain way. My family is currently living with my in-laws so each day is a challenge. Practicing the philosophies you outlined above will help us survive.
Happiness to me is being financially free and having all the time in the world to spend with my loved ones. Definitely not there yet but through hard work and passion I hope to be there in about 5 years or so. Really like how you were able to reach your point of happiness through your life style changes.
I have been a reader of Mr Money Mustache for the last three years and have recommended the site to many people along the way. Just want to say thank you for your immense contribution to correcting the overreach of our consumerist society!
I did a paper on it in college and I learned a lot about it. I like how you painted it in a bright light. Some people I think would find it depressing. Specially when it states that your entire life is suffering due to impermanence.
Cool read. You got me curious to read up on it again.
I do the same thing! Rack up purchases on the credit card for points, pay it off the next month and either get purchasing power back or a free hotel room for a night or two. Never paid one penny of interest either!
Another great post. As with other posters, the more I simplify and practice frugality ( a greatly misunderstood word), the greater my life satisfaction. Working towards FI in a speedy way. Thanks MMM for all the helpful articles
Jesus taught that the greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, mind, strength, and soul. Flowing from the greatest commandment is the next: to love your neighbor as yourself. Consumerism seeks happiness in things rather than in God, thereby violating the first of these two great commandments; it also often leads us to value things more than people, thereby violating the second.
Another parallel: though I no little about Buddhist meditation, many Christian saints recommended the practice of daily mental prayer, i.e., meditation (frequently through the prayerful reading of Scripture that leads to a dialogue with God and resolutions to grow in virtue), to grow in this love of God and neighbor. This is a practice I have employed for the last few years and it has had a profound impact on me. Through these regular turnings from the world toward God, a person grows to love God more and the world less. This regular mental prayer should also manifest itself in growth in virtue and the performance of good works, both of which Maslow would likely term self-actualization.
This is a great post! I am a clinical psychologist and work with people from all walks of life. Most people I see who are dissatisfied and unhappy with their life search for happiness through various ineffective means. They worry about the future and ruminate about the past, and can rarely be in the present moment. It can take several years for some people to realize that the next gadget, newest fashion, and the specific image they want other people to have of them does not bring happiness. Some people never reach this point. What you stated in this post is actually part of what I encourage my clients to reflect on. Once they have the awareness they can seek to make changes that work for them. I have noticed a positive change in their mood, satisfaction and joy with life when they stop getting stuck with image and consumerism. Your post conveys a very strong and easy understandable message which I will definitely forward to others.
You may have touched on it briefly, but how do actions for the greater good fit in? For instance, if I am looking to purchase a new vehicle, an electric vehicle may be a sound choice for reduced maintenance costs and the reduced gas costs (personal benefits). But it is also going to achieve a reduction in carbon emissions which is a direction we need to go to assure our children will have the pleasures of life that we do.
This is all well and good until you sit down with your thinking cap and really dive into the Bible and the stories around it. Then dive into other religions with a god. Soon you will realize that they were all cute stories made up by beings who were not able to understand how the world worked. And your entire life of staring starry eyed at the heavens was a lie, and what matters is what you do in this life.
Modern philosophers and psychologists are groping in the dark, unaware of (or willfully ignorant of) reality. Start with first principles, basic assumptions about the nature of reality, existence, God, humans, etc, and build from there.
Take a look around. If you think you are hardcore enough to handle Maximum Mustache, feel free to start at the first article and read your way up to the present using the links at the bottom of each article.
For more casual sampling, have a look at this complete list of all posts since the beginning of time or download the mobile app. Go ahead and click on any titles that intrigue you, and I hope to see you around here more often.
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