Various Laws of Nature
James Renner
adj...@gmail.com
Various Laws of Nature
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were
in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.
Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss
will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing
face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and
cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you
are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they
will stop making it
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--
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate
James