Moments Together for Couples, Sept 16
Ninan Verghese
by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
1 Corinthians 15:3,4 (NIV) For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures.
The Bible is a large book-or a collection of many books. We are blessed that in this passage the apostle Paul singles out the core of it all. Of course nothing in Scripture is unimportant, but nothing else is "of first importance" like the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus.In the same way, you and your mate would benefit from spending some time singling out what is most important to you. Barbara and I have pondered and struggled with this issue for years. Among the core values we have listed are: compassion, discipline, courage, integrity and the fear of the Lord.
At one session, as we prayerfully interacted over our individual core values, we made a profound discovery: Our priorities were different! One of Barbara's top 5 values was "teaching our children the work ethic." I didn't even list that in my top 10! Nor did she have one of my top 5 core values down on her sheet-"relationships."
Suddenly it became clear why our weekend schedule sometimes felt like a battlefield. It was a battle over values-work vs. relationships. Barbara wanted to use our Saturdays to work on the house or in the yard. My preference was to slide away (from the work) and go build memories and relationships in a boat on the lake.
Neither value was wrong-just different.
That day we learned a lesson I will never forget: Each of us spends our time on those things we feel are most important. And because most of us never get around to defining our core values as individuals and as a family, we end up living scattered and hectic lives, driven by unreal expectations.
Prayer:
That God will help you choose the most important values for your family, and to spend your time and finances in ways that honor Him.
Discuss: Write a "mission statement" for your family, listing the core values you would like to see emphasized. Does the way you spend most of your time and money reflect these values?