Re: [Compassionate Mind] Domains where compassion science is being deployed

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Russell Kolts

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Aug 30, 2019, 1:41:31 PM8/30/19
to Paul Gilbert, gavin_r...@yahoo.co.uk, Darcy Harris, Shakil Choudhury, tim anstiss, James Bennett-Levy, Paul Gilbert' via Compassion-Focused Leadership, CompassionateMind Paul Gilbert Group, Compassion-Focused Schools, Compassion SIG
I think it's more than voting out of fear.

In the past months, I've thought a lot about this in considering not just how Trump (and others) got elected, but how they command such unfailing, fervent loyalty in their followers.

In my view, I think the reason fits well with Paul's emphasis on the dark side, and how it inhabits all of us.  Politicians who embody the dark side resonate with our own.  Most of us, I think, at least occasionally confront ambivalence involving the dark side, and sometimes do so quite regularly.  We experience the cruel or unhealthy impulse or motivation, the dark thought or wish.  And because we know these things are not how we're "supposed" to be, we may tend to avoid, suppress, or even feel ashamed of them...either before or after indulging (purposefully or impulsively) them.  We've seen these effects in things like rape myth research - we can't assess this using the old measures anymore, because the college men know they aren't supposed to answer "yes" to questions like "If I buy my date's dinner, I am entitled to have sex with her," because they know they aren't supposed to feel/think that way - even if they actually do.

I've been trying to get into shape and lose a bit of weight.  When I meet my buddy for dinner, do I order the pizza or the salad?  If I get the pizza, how many pieces do I have?  (hint: My dark side wants to EAT THEM ALL).  But I usually don't eat them all, because I know it wouldn't be great for me.  And sometimes I do eat them all, and I don't feel great about it.

Politicians like Trump embody the dark side, create conditioned associations between it and social/cultural power, and validate it, and fuel it in us.  They communicate, in so many ways, that not only is there nothing wrong with me wanting to eat (and eating) all of the pizza, but that I deserve it.  It's my birthright.  Anyone who tells me it is unhealthy is a liar, or a weakling trying to drag me down.  Not only should I eat the whole damn thing...I should feel good about it!  I don't need to manage the delicious anger - I need to *grow* it.  I don't need to confront the hatred, racism, and condescension I feel toward those who are different - I can feel proud of it, because they really are less than me, and they deserve it.  I don't need to feel ashamed of the cruel thought or impulse - they are embodied and modeled by the most powerful people in the world.  Just maybe they are what can make me as strong and powerful as they are...but in the least, they are nothing to be ashamed of.

So these people change the stimulus value of our own dark sides - changing them from something that prompts avoidance and shame, and turning them into something that prompts feelings of strength, pride, and connection with others who support/share these traits and views.

This is powerful stuff, and it's why we need compassion to address it.  We have to provide people with interpersonal connections in which they feel safe, so that they can slow down, reflect on their own values, and consider whether this dark-side version of them is *really* who they want to be, and how they want to be.  We can only do that sort of self-reflection when we feel safe, which is why politicians who do this spend so much time fueling the threat systems (anger, fear) of their followers - because if they can keep them in that space, there's no room for such reflection, and the natural effects of the threat emotions (e.g. in anger, to decrease critical thinking, increase certainty, etc...; in the case of fear like mortality salience, increase their allegiance to simplified solutions) enhance their loyalty.  This was a huge part of our work in the prison groups.

Of course, Paul gives us an excellent study of this stuff in 'Living like Crazy.' 

Looking forward to seeing everyone in October.

Warmly,
rk



Russell Kolts, Ph.D.
Director, Inland Northwest Compassionate Mind Center

New Book, Experiencing Compassion-Focused Therapy From the Inside Out, currently available.

TEDx talk:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG4Z185MBJE


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From: 'tim anstiss' via Compassion-Focused Leadership <compassion-foc...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Friday, August 30, 2019 10:12 AM
To: Paul Gilbert <paul.g...@compassionatemind.co.uk>; gavin_r...@yahoo.co.uk <gavin_r...@yahoo.co.uk>; Darcy Harris <darcy....@uwo.ca>; Shakil Choudhury <sha...@animaleadership.com>
Cc: James Bennett-Levy <jame...@sydney.edu.au>; Paul Gilbert' via Compassion-Focused Leadership <compassion-foc...@googlegroups.com>; CompassionateMind Paul Gilbert Group <compassi...@googlegroups.com>; Compassion-Focused Schools <compassion-fo...@googlegroups.com>; Compassion SIG <acbs-comp...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: Re: [Compassionate Mind] Domains where compassion science is being deployed
 
People vote for the dark side when they are scared and feel the need for protection. 

Right wing popularist create feelings of threat - eg Nigel garage and hordes of Turks coming to Europe once they joint the European Union under free movement of people. Donald trump and uncontrolled migration of Mexican rapists, drug dealers and Muslim terrorists. White nationalists and the slow white genocide as a result of other races being let in to their country (by socialists and liberals and race traitors) and breeding more rapidly. Some media feed into this narrative to sell more papers etc. 

Then poor white people and others vote against their own interests and people with lots of wealth gain control of government, reduce taxes, accumulate (extract / steal) more resources. 

All very understandable from an evolutionary psych perspective. 

People who want a more fair society like Corbyn and Saunders are labelled wicked naive socialists and papers print reminders of the 10 of millions who died in Russia and China

And thus we get the ‘leaders’ we do

Simples 


Dr Tim Anstiss
Founder : Academy for Health Coaching 

On Friday, August 30, 2019, 6:00 pm, Paul Gilbert <paul.g...@compassionatemind.co.uk> wrote:

Unfortunately it's not just world leaders. The tragedy that we have at the moment is the way the right wing media, fuelled by the rich who mostly own it, stimulate some of the dark side of humanity so that we elect these people. We have perfectly good representatives for challenging climate change in the Green party and to a lesser extent the Liberal party but they don't get voted for. Things are slightly different in Germany. Our biggest challenge is to work out why we vote for the dark side. We have done it for hundreds of years

 

Prof Paul Gilbert, PhD, FBPSs, OBE

The Compassionate Mind Foundation

Office 29, Riverside Chambers,

Full Street, Derby

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Click on the books for links to Amazon for some of my recent books

 

 

 

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From: gavin_r...@yahoo.co.uk <gavin_r...@yahoo.co.uk>
Sent: 30 August 2019 17:57
To: Darcy Harris <darcy....@uwo.ca>; Shakil Choudhury <sha...@animaleadership.com>; tim anstiss <s...@btinternet.com>; Paul Gilbert <paul.g...@compassionatemind.co.uk>
Cc: James Bennett-Levy <jame...@sydney.edu.au>; Paul Gilbert' via Compassion-Focused Leadership <compassion-foc...@googlegroups.com>; CompassionateMind Paul Gilbert Group <compassi...@googlegroups.com>; Compassion-Focused Schools <compassion-fo...@googlegroups.com>; Compassion SIG <acbs-comp...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: Re: [Compassionate Mind] Domains where compassion science is being deployed

 

Well the greatest threat is the climate emergency, in my view, and we do need the courage to deal and be with this. There doesn't seem to be any world leader who is likely to take this on. New Zealand is the most hopeful option,
Gavin

On Friday, 30 August 2019, 17:25:09 BST, Paul Gilbert <paul.g...@compassionatemind.co.uk> wrote:

 

 

Yes it's interesting. As you know we will tend make the distinction between what has been termed communal an agentic approaches -- these are terms that been around for a while and not terribly well differentiated to be honest  -- but this paper is pretty useful

 

For CFT  the emotions and behaviours associated with compassion are contextual. Firefighter entering a burning house are likely to be anxious and with immense courage. Fighting against injustice might involve anger and assertiveness, consoling somebody who is recently bereaved or dying will be sadness soothing. For somebody who struggles with sadness then allowing themselves to feel sad can be quite a courageous act.  So in CFT it's the wise matching of responding to context. CFT has always highlighted the importance of courage as centre to compassion. Without courage you don't go into the house and you don't stand up against injustice and you don't allow yourself to be sad. In psychotherapy CFT is basically building the courage to engage with things that are frightening upsetting or traumatic.

 

 

Prof Paul Gilbert, PhD, FBPSs, OBE

The Compassionate Mind Foundation

Office 29, Riverside Chambers,

Full Street, Derby

DE1 3AF

PA Contact : Email: michell...@compassionatemind.co.uk

Tel: 01332 742722

www.compassionatemind.co.uk

www.profpaulgilbert.co.uk    

 

 

 

 

Click on the books for links to Amazon for some of my recent books

 

 

 

Our 2019 Workshop Programme is now available to view and book online. Click here for further information

 

BOOK NOW FOR A PLACE ON THE 8TH INTERNATIONAL CMF CONFERENCE IN EDINBURGH 8-11 OCTOBER 2019

 

 

 

From: compassi...@googlegroups.com <compassi...@googlegroups.com>On Behalf Of Darcy Harris
Sent: 30 August 2019 16:10
To: Shakil Choudhury <sha...@animaleadership.com>; tim anstiss <s...@btinternet.com>
Cc: James Bennett-Levy <jame...@sydney.edu.au>; Paul Gilbert' via Compassion-Focused Leadership <compassion-foc...@googlegroups.com>; CompassionateMind Paul Gilbert Group <compassi...@googlegroups.com>; Compassion-Focused Schools <compassion-fo...@googlegroups.com>; Compassion SIG <acbs-comp...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: RE: [Compassionate Mind] Domains where compassion science is being deployed

 

I’m very interested in the application of compassion to many contexts. In a book that I edited on Social Justice in Loss and Grief, we included a final chapter on the application of compassion to social justice issues where loss and grief are prevalent.

 

I was curious to see that Kristen Neff has now included a discussion of the “yin and yang” of compassion, identifying both the receptive and “being with” aspects of compassion with the “yang” of compassion, which refers to the active and strong aspects of compassion. (Reminds me of Roshi Joan Halifax’s statement about compassion involving both a strong back and a soft belly). I have been exploring this model in relation to political grief, i.e., what is a compassionate response to the current political climate that many of find ourselves to be in at this time? Cynda Rushton discusses the concept of “Principled Moral Outrage,” indicating the application of compassion to situations where there is intense moral distress and a sense of powerlessness to address the causes of suffering at many levels.

 

Anyone else exploring these topics?

 

 

 

 

Darcy Harris, Ph.D., FT

Associate Professor/Thanatology Coordinator

King’s University College at Western University

266 Epworth Avenue

London, Ontario, Canada N6A 2M3

(519) 433-3491, ext 4374

(800) 265-4406

 

From: compassi...@googlegroups.com <compassi...@googlegroups.com>On Behalf Of Shakil Choudhury
Sent: Friday, August 30, 2019 8:58 AM
To: tim anstiss <s...@btinternet.com>
Cc: James Bennett-Levy <jame...@sydney.edu.au>; Paul Gilbert' via Compassion-Focused Leadership <compassion-foc...@googlegroups.com>; CompassionateMind Paul Gilbert Group <compassi...@googlegroups.com>; Compassion-Focused Schools <compassion-fo...@googlegroups.com>; Compassion SIG <acbs-comp...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: Re: [Compassionate Mind] Domains where compassion science is being deployed

 

Hi, Tim/ James. 

 

Some of us in social activism are utilizing a compassion-based approach. 

Specifically for the context of race/identity issues see: Deep Diversity: Overcoming Us vs. Them (2015) 

 

It’s the nexus where compassion, justice and psychology intersect…like a kitchen table conversation in which the Dalai Lama, Black Lives Matter and Carl Jung find common ground. 

I wrote this book (also reviewed by Paul) so that teaching about social justice could come without the usual shame & blame. 

 

Cheers, 

Shakil      

 

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On Aug 30, 2019, at 6:35 AM, 'tim anstiss' via Compassion-Focused Leadership <compassion-foc...@googlegroups.com> wrote:

 

Thanks James

 

There is no doubt social activism is compassionate

 

But is there evidence that social activists are using compassion science ? 



Dr Tim Anstiss

Founder : Academy for Health Coaching 

 

On Friday, August 30, 2019, 11:30 am, James Bennett-Levy <jame...@sydney.edu.au> wrote:

maybe Social Activism (which I would distinguish from “politics”)

James

Sent from my iPhone


On 30 Aug 2019, at 8:07 am, 'tim anstiss' via CompassionateMind <compassi...@googlegroups.com> wrote:

Compassionomics by trzeciak and mazzarelli is a good read 

 

I’m wondering, what are the main domains in which compassion science is being deliberately deployed ?

 

I’ve got :

 

Healthcare

Psychotherapy

Education

Sports

Criminal justice 

Management 

Leadership and 

Politics

 

Anybody got any others ?

 

Perhaps farming ?

 

Dr Tim Anstiss

Founder : Academy for Health Coaching 

 

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Russell Kolts

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Aug 30, 2019, 2:04:29 PM8/30/19
to Paul Gilbert, Darcy Harris, Shakil Choudhury, tim anstiss, Gavin Robinson, James Bennett-Levy, Paul Gilbert' via Compassion-Focused Leadership, CompassionateMind Paul Gilbert Group, Compassion-Focused Schools, Compassion SIG
I think Trump and his ilk perfectly demonstrate the power of the dark side, and how it can become dominant in people who have insecure (particularly avoidant) attachment styles.  Paul's talked about this a ton.  When I teach on anger, I talk about the "if you can't join 'em, beat 'em" variety of people who act out in anger.  They're the ones who not only don't feel ashamed when they see how their anger has hurt others (or prompted their withdrawal), they feel reinforced by it - "look how I showed them!" 

When we are incapable of feeling soothed by connections, we often retreat (and can build entire lives around) into constructing and maintaining dominance hierarchies.  If I can't be safe with you, better that I have more power, money, prestige, etc...

rk

Russell Kolts, Ph.D.
Director, Inland Northwest Compassionate Mind Center

New Book, Experiencing Compassion-Focused Therapy From the Inside Out, currently available.

TEDx talk:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG4Z185MBJE


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From: 'Gavin Robinson' via CompassionateMind <compassi...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Friday, August 30, 2019 10:54 AM
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Subject: Re: [Compassionate Mind] Domains where compassion science is being deployed
 

Agree. And Trump and co do not feel safe apart perhaps when they are in their threat system, and with some kind of soothing, although the soothing is not easy to stay with as the dark side takes over. As it does in all of us, pizzas or not.

We live in a traumatised world, and De Pfeffle Johnson, Trump and Bolsonaro and others find safety in this. Facing the realities would be too traumatic. They are wounded leaders. Sadness is so threatening for them,

Gavin





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Paul Gilbert

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Sep 2, 2019, 12:26:12 AM9/2/19
to Darcy Harris, gavin_r...@yahoo.co.uk, tim anstiss, paul.g...@compassionatemind.co.uk, Shakil Choudhury, James Bennett-Levy, Paul Gilbert' via Compassion-Focused Leadership, Compassion-Focused Schools, Compassion SIG

Hi Darcy and colleagues.

It just so happens that my colleague Joe Zammit-Lucia who set up Radix was inviting opinions on the whole issue about dealing with conflicts. So below is something I wrote of the response from an evolutionary point of view

 

https://radixuk.org/opinion/wanted-a-solution-to-mutual-incomprehension/

 

radix.org.uk                                   amazon.co.uk    amazon.com

 

       

 

 

 

The key thing is understanding the evolutionary origins of tribal conflict.

to understand tribal conflict it helps to understand the origins of tribal conflict. These are deep ancient archetypal processes that operate in many species on earth. If we don't get our minds around the way our brains are orientated to tribal conflict and the conditions that inflame or quell it, then we will struggle because we won't be able to think about the inhibitors and facilitators of tribal conflict at the deep biological level

 

Many species have tribal conflicts. Some years ago Jane Goodall studying chimpanzees in the Gnome Valley observed that a group chimpanzees split into two with a smaller one going south. Within a few years the North group had ambushed and killed the southern group chimpanzees. It was a shock but we now know that many primate groups, when they meet, they fight. I would recommend Robert Sapolsky's brilliant book called Behave

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gombe_Chimpanzee_War

 

https://qz.com/work/1302643/the-most-violent-chimp-war-of-all-time-was-about-the-same-stuff-humans-fight-over/

 

so unless we understand that we are living in cultures which are stimulating these deep biologically based archetypal processes within us I think we're going to be naïve to be honest. Secondly we need to understand what drives this behaviour. This is to understand that leaders and followers have quite different agendas for making the decisions they do. For leaders it's about what is called group splitting. When groups get to a certain size there is a tendency for them is to start  to split and individuals emerge to create splits. Then what happens is once a leader to be has started to create a split they need to attract devotes and followers. So They will target the threat systems of followers and offer themselves as solutions. We see this in religious splits all the time and We see this a lot in cult and cult development. Then much depends upon the particular kind of threat followers are orientated to. We know that some people are much more orientated to want to maintain small tribal boundaries and feel threatened with unfamiliars, where as others feel safe with unfamiliars. These are properly personal differences. Unfamiliar individuals are seen as opportunities rather than threats. There's a wonderful book that talks a bit about this called Before You Know it by John Bargh. We also know there's a motivational system called ‘social dominance orientation’ (you can look them up on Google) and there are all kinds of ways in which theat can be stimulated. As a wonderful book by Peter Gay or The Cultivation of Hatred (1995) which again is all about how group values get manipulated. I would also recommend Stephen Hobfall book or Tribalism. The evolutionary origins of Fear politics

 

So in order for us to start to address these issues we first have to understand and address the fact that politicians have unleashed and tapped into completely different threat and fear territory that is both conscious but also not conscious to most people. Also you might want have a look at work by Jonathan Hiadt

https://www.ted.com/talks/jonathan_haidt_on_the_moral_mind?language=en

 

The solutions are not so difficult in the sense that this has been well worked out in international negotiations which is that firstly you need an arbiter or referee to help people come together and second each side must address the threat and sense of insecurity in the other. Each side sees the other side as posing a serious threat to them. It helps to understand threat processing.  It was very clear that Nelson Mandela was somebody who was oriented to heal tribal division and therefore could orchestrate this. Partly because he had won and had authority because of his experiences, However we have politicians who want to do exactly the opposite and haven't got a clue how to begin a dialogue for reconciliation and indeed don't even seem to want to. Whatever happens next, whether there is a referendum and the whole thing is chucked out which I think is the most likely in time, we have an incredibly divided and angry nation. This anger is not just about Brexit  but unconsciously is associated with austerity and sense of terrible callousness by authorities such as how the banks have behaved, the underfunding of social services be it health education or whatever, how businesses have and are destroying the environment and so on and so on. People have a sense of having being seriously let down by authority and all of that is spilling out into this debate as well. So it is not just about to leave or not to leave it's also about will authority do what I want them to do; will they continue to do things that are hurtful to me and my community and indeed the world

 

If you followed the compassion heroes work of Zimbardo then what is also needed these individuals who begin to articulate the issues around reconciliation but they need to articulate the issues not just be do-gooders. They act as new leaders. We need them to talk to the theme of -- whether we are in or whether we are not in, the future of the world lies in cooperation, working together to solve our problems -- they need to speak to a higher principle and move away from in or out. I could say more about that but that's enough for now

 

 

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Centre for Compassion Research and Training

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From: Darcy Harris <darcy....@uwo.ca>
Sent: 01 September 2019 20:28
To: gavin_r...@yahoo.co.uk; tim anstiss <s...@btinternet.com>; Paul Gilbert <paul.g...@compassionatemind.co.uk>; Shakil Choudhury <sha...@animaleadership.com>
Cc: James Bennett-Levy <jame...@sydney.edu.au>; Paul Gilbert' via Compassion-Focused Leadership <compassion-foc...@googlegroups.com>; Compassion-Focused Schools <compassion-fo...@googlegroups.com>; Compassion SIG <acbs-comp...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: RE: [Compassionate Mind] Domains where compassion science is being deployed

 

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No, me either. However, I think people who tend to reflect and are able to disengage from their reactivity to fear (many times not overtly recognized or in conscious awareness) may be able to recognize that gravitating towards those who are “like us” or who appear to be strong and protective externally are knee-jerk reactions that don’t address the underlying issues. The earlier discussion that we’ve just had on the list serve about mindfulness is applicable here. The ability to see things clearly and with discernment, without reacting out of fear, or being drawn into views that emphasize our separate-ness holds hope for being able to respond in ways that are in alignment with our deeper awareness and intention.

 

Darcy Harris, Ph.D., FT

Associate Professor/Thanatology Coordinator

King’s University College at Western University

266 Epworth Avenue

London, Ontario, Canada N6A 2M3

(519) 433-3491, ext 4374

(800) 265-4406

 

From: gavin_r...@yahoo.co.uk <gavin_r...@yahoo.co.uk>
Sent: Sunday, September 1, 2019 2:03 PM
To: tim anstiss <
s...@btinternet.com>; Paul Gilbert <paul.g...@compassionatemind.co.uk>; Shakil Choudhury <sha...@animaleadership.com>; Darcy Harris <darcy....@uwo.ca>
Cc: James Bennett-Levy <
jame...@sydney.edu.au>; Paul Gilbert' via Compassion-Focused Leadership <compassion-foc...@googlegroups.com>; Compassion-Focused Schools <compassion-fo...@googlegroups.com>; Compassion SIG <acbs-comp...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: Re: [Compassionate Mind] Domains where compassion science is being deployed

 




The irony is that Trump, Bolsonaro, De Pfeffle Johnson and co make me feel a bit scared. They don't reassure me at all,
Gavin

On Sunday, 1 September 2019, 18:14:41 BST, Darcy Harris <darcy....@uwo.ca> wrote:

 

 

Hi All,

 

I am responding late to this discussion as I’ve been out of internet range for a good part of this past week.

 

One theory of the rise of populist leaders comes from the Terror Management Theory research, which speculates that people will gravitate towards protectionist leaders, tribalism, and similar cultural world views in response to feelings of threat. I think some of what is happening in North America is still the fallout from the events of 9/11 and then the banking/housing finance/economic crisis in 2008-2009. Similar events have happened across Europe and many Western industrial countries. People no longer feel safe or protected.

 

There is an interesting body of research from the TMT folks that predict this behavior over and over in various scenarios. Charismatic/ populist leaders tend to rise during these times, as does nationalism and black and white thinking about who is “us” and who is “other.” I am reminded of a comment made somewhere in my past, indicating that money isn’t the root of all evil, fear is. This theory and view maps readily onto the three circles model in CFT.

 

I’m still mulling all of this over as I explore the concept of political grief.  Akin to political grief is environmental grief, as there is a lack of ability to steward our precious resources when there is a sense of threat and the entitlement that is fostered in populist leaders (whose entitlement comes from the population’s need to feel protected and powerful in view of threat).

 

Darcy

 

Darcy Harris, Ph.D., FT

Associate Professor/Thanatology Coordinator

King’s University College at Western University

266 Epworth Avenue

London, Ontario, Canada N6A 2M3

(519) 433-3491, ext 4374

(800) 265-4406

 

Shakil Choudhury / Senior Partner 
Sha...@AnimaLeadership.com / 647.404.9512

Anima Leadership 
http://AnimaLeadership.com/

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