Steve
Finding Space for Healing
Douglas’ Story
My life hasn’t been easy, but I’ve always tried to make the best of it. I’m known to throw myself into my work, full force.
Even though I love working, I struggle to hold down a job because at times I drink too much. For me, it’s a way to cope with pain from past trauma.
When I signed up for Bissell’s Workforce, I thought it was just a place to find work but it’s so much more than that.
Every day is another chance to
prove myself. When I’m at Bissell it’s easier to feel a little
hope for my future.
When I signed up for Bissell Workforce, I was stoked when I learned I’d be working alongside staff to haul water. They were always so supportive and encouraging, so I figured this could be a lot of fun. With this as my motivation, I was able to stay sober for a full week leading up to the job.
When I showed up, there were massive stacks of pallets of water bottles and more deliveries coming in. As I tend to do, I got straight into it, working as hard as I could.
A staff member saw me working like a madman, and asked how I was doing. “I feel proud of myself for the first time in a long while,” I said. “The hard work makes me remember I’m still here.”
But there was more to the story than that. This job had lifted me out of a time of real darkness.
When I heard about the 215 children’s bodies discovered at a Residential School in Kamloops, it was a blow that I didn’t know how to absorb.
Suddenly, I was drowning in flashbacks and painful memories. I felt sick with grief and my mind was spinning with ‘what ifs’.
You see, I am a survivor of one of the last Residential Schools to close.
Those schools took too much. Our cultures. Our languages. We were isolated from our families and left to suffer horrible abuse as innocent children.
I so desperately want to do better for the sake of all the kids who didn’t make it through the system, but every time more bodies are found, the emotions grab hold too tight.
Some days I have hope. Other days it’s just too much to bear.
When I hang out at Bissell Centre, I can breathe. There are others here who understand. There are other survivors. We’re all dealing with one sort of trauma or another. This is a space for healing.
I’m not sure what the way through all this will look like, I know I have my Bissell Centre family standing ready to lift me up when I fall, to celebrate with me when I succeed, and to love me no matter what happens.
I am so grateful that Bissell exists. Thank you to everyone who makes this place possible.
*Interviewee’s name has been
changed to protect their anonymity.