Jesus Gave Me the Day Off, Film At 11

[The Real Dean Oakland]

Man, if there every was a case where truth was stranger than fiction it
was this past weekend at a place called Mother's Kitchen.

Mother's Kitchen is a kind of organic supermarket. Some of the stuff in
there is so amazingly organic-seeming that I'm certain if given time
and patience, they'd get up and leave.

So this enlightened group of Sunday morning women sits meekly at the
table next to ours. They had cell phones, expensive car keys, Gucci
sunglasses, and Jesus.

Huh?

Yep. They had Jesus. One remarked, "I was so happy that God gave me a
day to work on this [project]. I went to jury duty, but didn't get
called--even though I was there all day. But it did give me a chance to
get this done!" And so forth. Then the cell phones went off--ringtones
very not biblical, more like crazy Euro-disco--despite the sign at the
entrance, which read "Please, out of consideration of others, refrain
from talking on your cell phones..."

So here's a challenge (for anyone who's listening): Write a
one-thousand word story about these Desperate Housewives of the OC
seeking salvation. They have to be wearing pink and black, and must
have at least two reasons to seek redemption.

Good luck!