Love and the use of Magick

[Gentle Deer Lion Tamer]

In this rambling, I will talk about the ever present topic of Love
Spells and also offer some guidance on the use of any spell, ritual or
potion for manipulative purposes. By manipulative purposes, I am
referring to a working where the object of said working is not aware
it is being done, nor have they consented to such a working.

Of course this is only my opinion and it is not intended to embarrass
anyone. These are simply my thoughts on a subject which gets batted
around quite frequently, so take it for what is worth. From the mail I
receive from those who have made or seen these mistakes happen, I'm
confident they are shared by the majority who are experienced in this
path.

The primary question one must consider before undertaking any ritual
working, especially where Love Magick is concerned is, "Is This
Working Consistent With The Basic Tenant of HARM NONE as expressed in
The Rede."

Upon asking yourself the following two questions, you can effectively
analyze the reasons to either justify or dismiss the working.

1. What is my intent in performing this work?
2. Is this spell or ritual influenced by anger; hatred; lust; greed;
jealousy or envy?

If your answer to question number 1 is found within question number 2,
then as a Wiccan and follower of the Light Path, you must abandon this
spell or ritual because it will not be consistent with the Rede.

Likewise, if question 1 is answered by question 2 and you continue,
you can no longer rightfully call yourself Wiccan. A True Wiccan will
not use manipulative magick to negatively influence another for their
own personal interests. The whole purpose of following this path is to
live in harmony and balance with the natural rhythms of life, not to
manipulate them to suit a selfish goal. At this point, you need to
refer to yourself as a follower of the Dark Path since manipulative
magick for personal gain without consideration of the outcome falls
within that realm...

Harsh Words? You Bet...
Does It Make You Uncomfortable? Good...

By undertaking such an action without the consent or approval of
another, you are clearly disregarding the Rede and using your gifts
for purely selfish reasons. Therefore, you are setting forces in
motion which will ultimately have negative impact in one way or
another and you are practicing Dark Magick.

You must remember that once you create and release this energy as a
thought form, it will acquire life, form and substance. It will run
it's course, and the final outcome through the laws of cause and
effect may not be what you wanted. The potential for great harm to
both yourself and others are clearly evident in such a working. This
is especially clear when you consider that you will eventually need to
absorb this energy back into yourself after it has ruined your life
and the lives of who knows how many others...

Let's Look At a Potential Outcome of Such a Working for a Moment...

You create a Love Spell, focus your energy and release it toward your
victim. I use the word victim because that is what you have just made
this person if they are unaware of your work and have not given their
consent.

Through the laws of magick, your victim begins to fall hopelessly in
love with you or the person you performed this spell for. So much so
that they become increasingly dependent as time passes. They can no
longer function without your presence and guidance. You cannot get a
moments peace because they constantly have to be with you. You can no
longer function at work because they are calling every ten minutes.
They become increasingly jealous, possessive and suspicious because
they cannot have all of your time. The list of undesirable effects
could go on and on and can become more than a little frightening.

Ultimately, you must ask yourself the following questions. Would "you"
want someone doing this to you, and if you truly cared for someone,
how could you risk doing something like this to them? In my humble
opinion, it does not show a very high regard or respect for others or
yourself and the decision on whether or not to proceed is clear.

I caution you that non consensual Love Magic is a double edged sword
and borders on the manipulation of another human being against their
"Free Will". It is also dangerously close to Psychic Rape and is
considered highly unethical by most who practice the Craft.

I hope this has given those who have considered using such practices
food for thought. While my opinion may not be shared by all, it
illustrates the need to consider all potential outcomes before
focusing and releasing a spell.

A Better Solution

This is written by a friend who wishes to be known as "Betty".

A couple of years ago, I was single again after the demise of a long
marriage. I was lonely, and hoping I would not spend the rest of my
life alone. I had decided to ask the Goddess for help, using my own
energies and powers. So, not wanting another not-so-good marriage, I
was asking for what qualities in a person I wanted, and asked to be -
SENT- someone rather than just find someone. I went outside and
performed a ritual under the full moon, by myself. I asked that I be
sent -THE RIGHT- person, with no particular idea of who that person
would be, or any specific qualities about that person. From my
previous marriage, I knew that it was important to me that the person
share important things in my life, including my religion, at least in
a basic sense.

Well, in a couple of days, I met a new person online. I thought we
were writing about our shared interest in folk music. Then, after a
little while, first he, then I, admitted that there was more interest
than that. One thing led to another there, he came to visit me. He
told me that he too, had been doing a simple ritual during that same
full moon: Lighting candles, and asking Goddess, "Please Mother, send
me someone to love so I don't spend my life alone". He ended up
staying and sending for his things, and we were later married.

This is a better solution than asking for a specific thing, in a
specific way, or especially from a specific person. For one thing, the
issue of manipulation completely went away. Instead, the person who
was sent was also asking for someone to love, through his own ritual.
We did not know each other when we did these rituals. For For another
thing, we were both asking for a "right person" for us. In both of our
cases, sure, other people (former spouses) believed that we were not
"the right person". We probably weren't for them. For each other, we
may well be. Neither of us is perfect, no one is a "perfect partner"
for everyone.

We have always been amused that we were doing these rituals with
similar intent, although the specifics of the operation of the rituals
was very different at the same time, for the same purpose. Perhaps
Goddess runs a "cosmic switchboard" of sorts. When She gets various
requests, She just introduces people on some criteria - kind of like a
dating service with ALL of the information.