JOKE: Tips for Raising Boys (Be sure to check out the video at the bottom)
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AwfulGames
Nov 9, 2010, 9:03:54 AM11/9/10
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For new parents raising small male children, the following tips and
observations may prove helpful:
* A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. ft.
house four inches deep.
* If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
* A 3-year-old talking about his most recent trip to the bathroom can
drown out 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
* If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape.
* It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
* When using a ceiling fan as a baseball bat, you have to throw the
ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
baseball a long way.
* The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.
* When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh,” it’s already
too late.
* Brake fluid mixed with chlorine tablets makes fire and lots and lots
of smoke.
* A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
* Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
boy.
* Play-Doh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
* Super glue is forever.
* No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still
can’t walk on water.
* Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
* VCRs do not eject peanut butter sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
* Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
* Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
* You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
* Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
like ovens.
* 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with
or without kids.
* 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the chlorine tablet and
brake fluid. Especially after watching THIS VIDEO:
http://awfulgames.com/?p=1174#video
observations may prove helpful:
* A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. ft.
house four inches deep.
* If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
* A 3-year-old talking about his most recent trip to the bathroom can
drown out 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
* If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape.
* It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
* When using a ceiling fan as a baseball bat, you have to throw the
ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
baseball a long way.
* The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.
* When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh,” it’s already
too late.
* Brake fluid mixed with chlorine tablets makes fire and lots and lots
of smoke.
* A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
* Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
boy.
* Play-Doh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
* Super glue is forever.
* No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still
can’t walk on water.
* Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
* VCRs do not eject peanut butter sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
* Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
* Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
* You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
* Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
like ovens.
* 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with
or without kids.
* 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the chlorine tablet and
brake fluid. Especially after watching THIS VIDEO:
http://awfulgames.com/?p=1174#video
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